**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

Hey all.

Just a quick post. Just home from my 3rd paclitaxel chemo. I can't believe I've 3 done already. Next week going to b longer will have carbo again.
Im so lucky in a way with the se's. No nausea, yucky taste but can live with that. But today I can feel the cumulative effects, very wobbly and brain definitely not engaged. Chemo brain I guess.
The lady with my wig came in with it today, I like the colour similar to my own. But its needs a serious cut. She reckons she can cut itstyle it like my own. I'm not hopeful. But I was thinking I should come up with a name for her( the wig).Wilma or something like that. She may never see the light of day. I'll post a pic when its cut. It'll give ye a laugh if nothing else. Prob will b shaving hair next Monday. Its going.
Boobz I hope your doing well. Ur chemo is similar but different, I'll b changing to ac after 12 weeks.

To all ladies, hope ye are doing well. I'll b back later when the fog clears.

Thanks all for the info on recon vs implants. I am thinking implants tbh - I think I will want to get back to normality quickly, and I am only 8.5st and 5'3 so I don't think there will be enough to take either.

Glad to hear you are doing ok-ish Cailindeas - I start Carbo and Paclitaxel in a couple of weeks' time. Am really hoping I hold on to this hair!

I have been doing ok, and then today I had a melt down at DH because he said my diet was crap and I needed to eat better. All I wanted for lunch was some eggs, but I'd had eggs for breakfast and "you can't just keep eating eggs".... I have put on about 1/2 a stone since starting chemo so am trying to watch what I eat, but it all came out wrong - what I was trying to say and the way he was saying I should eat better - ended up in a massive row (over fucking eggs!) and then a half hour sob for me about feeling like I have lost all control. I think it had been a while coming - I haven't cried since the day I got all my hair chopped off to start chemo which is over 2 months ago now, so I think it has been building.

Oh, what happened about the meet up? I can't remember what we said, but was it maybe Sunday 19th? I could do Sunday 19th if in London and in the afternoon?

Hotchoc hope you haven't been sick again.

Hi boobz

You are doing so well and are prob well overdue a bit of a melt down as is your dh. Go and give him a hug, maybe preceded by a gentle slap - you decide

You strike me as an implant kinda girl - cos I know you really well obvs! I think you would be very happy with them. Take some advice from your friendly experts....but in the end you know what will suit you best. I had a fab youngish female surgeon and she made it easy for me to make the decision.

I didn't pursue the meet-up as there wasn't a massive take up but I'm definitely still up for it. So if you and anyone else would like to just say the word. Afternoon of 19th July suits me just fine. .... Anyone?

I had a CT scan today ... Brand new machine and I was the first person ever to be scanned on it! Now full of scanxiety awaiting results on Friday when oncologist may change me to a course of intravenous chemo. So it might be bye bye hair again.
I was thinking of that as I have plenty of stomach fat, I'd be fine for a reconstruction (but I haven't had a MX). I could do with a nip and tuck ...

Lily... everything crossed and good vibes for the outcome you want xx

I had my scan last week Lily, and I don't get my results until I get back from my hols in two weeks time! Talk about tension.

I hope you don't have to have hardcore chemo again just yet! Fingers crossed for you.

(I am incognito )

Fingers crossed for you lily

Hello sleepy hope you have a lovely holiday

Sleepy forest....hmm...

It's been a long time since I've been on here. MN constantly crashes my browser to the point that I've pretty much run out of patience with it.

So I was diagnosed 1 year ago today. I was probably just being called in to see the dr at the hospital at this point so would have been in the blissfully ignorant stage. Can't believe a year has gone and I've been through chemo, surgery, rads and herceptin (although I've 6 more of those to go so won't be fully finished treatment until nov).

I'm still struggling with some of the side effects of treatment - menopause, numb fingertips, chemo brain - if that's still possible after 6 months? - and weight gain but I guess I feel I can start to try and put it behind me. I'm seeing a counsellor now which is hard work but helping so I'll stick with it over the next few weeks.

It's sad to see new names on the thread but great to see that the same level of support is being given. I'm sorry I can't be more active but technology is really letting me down.

Lily and sleepy, good luck with the scans, I hope you both get the results that you need.

Boobz you never fail to impress me with all your hardcore exercise! I hope the taxol treats you well, I got the most horrendous pain in my joints and muscles for days afterwards :-(. It has quite a different set of side effects to the EC. I have my fingers crossed that you get on ok

Cailin, sounds like you're doing ok-ish with the chemo, hope the carbo doesn't throw in more SE. Def think you should give your wig a name :)

Wave a to everyone else, hope you're all doing ok. Will try and get back on here again if I can but I have to be in a very patient mood beforehand

Waiting for test results is pants!

Debating whether to phone up med sec, although I don't they are due back yet, or is that an excuse not to clean the car

I wasn't sick again thankfully. Just had my forth chemo but first Tax. Thought it was tomorrow so a bit of a rush to get bloods and there.

Boobz, implants sounds good for you as you are tiny. I am not surprised that you had a meltdown as it's a massive thing and you being very strong. But eggs are actually very healthy. I still eat chips, cake etc but otherwise a fairly good veggie diet. I do not exercise as much as you do though!

Calin, a wig name sounds fun. :) Willie the wig? Wally? Wendy?

Hey all.
Rivercam, did you ring? There's always a good excuse not to clean da car. Hate that job.
Boobz I have had a few daft meltdowns, par for the course, I think. I still haven't got back to my counselling, just haven't had a chance.
Lilymaid, good luck with the scan results.
My hair is coming out in clumps. In the shower today, it was all over my face. Really freaked me. Going to get it shaved tomorrow. Its time. Very down about it and very self conscious. I thought I was prepared for this. But I'm not.
Keep well ladies.

Callindeas
Losing hair is miserable. I had mine shaved on the day it really started to fall out. I had my hair shaved turned away from the mirror, then had wig fitted. In all the months my hair was completely gone I never looked in a mirror unless my head was covered . My coping mechanism ... Others are happy to look.

Hello all. Surgery end of next week and then a treatment plan which will have to include radation therapy and possibly hormone therapy, because the hormone receptor test came back positive. My onco is away on holiday so we have not discussed any of this yet but all the scans and tests have now been done, and the surgery including axillary node dissection is happening as soon as he is back. I am focusing on the practicalities which keeps me calm conisdering!
Can any of you lovely ladies who have had the rads talk to me about them? I mean your experiences, cause I have read so so much on the treatment, but want to hear from real people if you get what I mean. What were/ are your lows and/ or if any highs ?!! Thanks.
power to you all.

Hello .

My lovely Mum has been told today she has breast cancer. She is 60 next week.

It was found during a routine mammogram, and she's had a biopsy and ultrasound today with grading and treatment plan next wednesday. They've said there is no doubt, but it is small, and found nothing in the armpits (which I assume is the lymph nodes?). I assume, tentatively, that this is a good thing.

I don't know what to think at the moment. I only have her and my Grandma from my own family. No Dad (long story), no siblings. She's 2 hours away too which makes it really hard. I have no idea what to do to help her right now, she's naturally a very negative person which is hard enough to deal with normally. She is convinced this lump is the byproduct of a cancer somewhere else which about to see her 6ft under in the immediate future. She's worried for me and my DD. She's worried because she was going to have the kids for several weeks in the school holidays. She's worried that she's caused this.... I'm sure you get the idea, and totally understand.

I feel so weird, sick, like I've been punched or pushed underwater. And then I feel bad because it's not even me that has it, it's her. I feel terribly worried for my Grandma too - she is 83 tomorrow and another 2 hours in the other direction. I don't know how she will deal with it either.

No doubt I will be back to look for answers, if you'll let me ask. I have no idea what all the terminology means. Wednesday seems like such a long way away, and I just feel like someone has pulled the rug out from under me.

Hi all, hope everyone enjoying the sunshine. I'm looking forward to watching the tennis this afternoon!

I went for my radiation planning appointment the other day. I was surprised how upsetting I found it being back in a hospital, a reminder of the cancer, which I've been trying not to think about. The radiologist I talked to was lovely, she realised I was upset even before I did I think and she was fine with me sitting there crying!

Treatment starts in two weeks, so like royal I'd be grateful to hear any experiences of radiotherapy, what to do, what not to do etc.

sienna17 did you have any surgery done? I have a feeling the surgery is actually the easy part:(

Alabasterrangel..i hope the news is good regarding your mum,,seems it is early stage and has not spread which, yes, is fortunate. I was just diagnosed and the terminology soon starts to make sense once you are involved.
Wishing you all power.

Yes royal I had a Wide Local Excision, they removed 21mm. Have a big scar round my nipple, nipple very tender, smaller than the other one and a bit of a dent in my boob where they removed the lump - especially noticeable when I lean forward. I had started to feel 'normal' again recently, back at work boob a lot less sore and I think that's why I found it so hard to be back in a hospital - a reminder that I am 'ill' even if I don't feel it.

Sorry to hear about your mum alabaster. Hopefully things will be much clearer on Wednesday. It helps to know what you're up against and what the treatment plan is.

Hello. I was diagnosed with grade 3 Invasive breast cancer in September 2014 age 41. I've had 6 rounds of FEC-T (docetaxel is a bitch) followed by surgery where they removed lump and all lymphnodes in my armpit. Then I had 20 sessions of radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy was more s pain in the arse as it takes such a long time in the beginning to get you lined up in the correct position. First week was takin over an hour but by the end it was 15 minutes. I did have slight "sunburn" and learnt the true meaning of bone tired but found it all quite easy to deal with compared to chemo. I'm now on tamoxifen which has turned me into a cranky cow at times!

My hair fell out despite cold cap treatment but is now about an inch long. I was not a glamorous baldy and I'm not looking much better now. I miss my long hair. Sigh!! I'm back at work now and determined that my life will now go in as normal. I wish all going through treatment and just the shitiness of cancer all the best and send you warm wishes xx

Hi alabaster. Sad that your Mum has found herself needing treatment. It's always a shock. Things become much more doable once there's a treatment plan. From what you write so far, this is good news. Most breast cancers do not kill. If it is on the boob but not the armpit, that's almost guaranteed to be excellent news, especially when small in size.
You may find that only surgery and tablets are needed. Not all breast cancers need more than that, these days.
Hoping all goes well in the next few days.

I saw my oncologist yesterday. My CT scan of torso was clear - but my tumour markers are still increasing. Onc has decided (nearly had him tossing coins on this) to put me on Exastamene (hormonal pill like Tamoxifen) for a while instead of continuing oral chemo (Capecitabine) to see what it does. So I'll be a grumpy old bag for a while judging by effects of other hormonal treatments on me.

But I can go abroad! Now thinking of where we could go (already have week in Lake District and a choral course at the end of August and a trip to Peak District/Manchester at the beginning of that month). Vaguely fancy something like a week in Tenerife or Italy in the first half of September. Never been one for sunbathing (and that is strictly prohibited) but some gentle sightseeing would be nice.

Hope everyone is enjoying nice weather today even if sunbathing is out!

Fantastic Lily! Enjoy shopping for your holiday

So pleased that you can go abroad Lily ! How about a cruise ? I love them !

Lily, I am so pleased to hear your scan was clear and hope the new treatment is effective. I'm sure a holiday somewhere warm will do you good too. I have almost as much pleasure planning a holiday as being away and it's always nice to have something to look forward to.

We walked over 30 miles in Paris in 3 1/2 days last week, I'm creaking a bit now we're home. My hair is continuing to fall out with the tamoxifen, it's really quite thin on top now and I can't see any new hair growing so I'm a bit nervous about the next few months and indeed the next four years. Yet another little known side effect. The gp and bc nurse have both said there are alternative drugs but this SE is common to them too, I guess if you're susceptible. Plus I don't want to come of the tamoxifen.

Royal, I had 15 sessions of rads last July. I did get quite a bit of pain from it, but I think that's unusual. I also got some strange lumps come up along my scars which have still not quite gone down a year later. I didn't get too tired though, certainly helped by a shortish journey and DH driving me in every day.

Hello to everyone else, I need to catch up properly.

Hello all
I have recently found out that a lovely friend of mine has cancer. The original site is a small tumour in her breast, but that gave no symptoms. It spread to her ribs and spine and it was the pain there that led to her diagnosis. She is in the US so I don't know if the treatment there is same/better/worse than the treatment she would get here, but i just wanted some general advice.
They have sent her body into menopause to stop the original tumour growing, and she is taking some new kind of chemo drug that just targets the tumour, (no hairloss), but they don't want to give her a mastectomy, remove infected lymph nodes etc, and I'm not sure why. Is it because the cancer has already spread so no point? They have injected her crumbling bones with some kind of cement and that has stopped her pain. Obviously I don't want to ask her too much as I don't want to pump her for information, so I wondered if any of you would be able to tell me if this treatments sounds standard, and what is likely to happen next? She said she may only have 5-10 years left. Is there any hope of a cure?
Any info or advice would be much appreciated.
Thank in advance everyone