**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

BIG HUGS to everyone tonight. Everyone seems to be finding it tough at the moment. For those about to have ops, I hope it goes well, and for those who,have had had ops, I hope the recovery is going well.

I know this is going sound trivial compared to everyone's news, but tried on my new dress in front of my husband. He said it doesn't suit me, and my young teen said it made me look ugly! I felt really cheered up when I bought it - now it's going back :(

Indeed, sorry to catch up and everyone is feeling a bit shite. Sounds like a scary time for lots.

Had EC#4 on Tues - again not so bad. I HATE the farking cold cap though. I know it's worth it - I have had no hair loss so far, and that has really helped me psychologically - but god I don't know how I am going to cope when I go weekly for the second half of my treatment. Flying backwards and forwards from Rome doesn't bother me, but the bloody cold cap is the worst!

Still no side effects, and am still doing my daily Insanity work outs, so all good really. I'm at a wedding in Somerset with my bro and my dad - we haven't all been in the same place for 4 years nearly - they both live in the States but on the other side of the country from each other, and of course I am in Rome - and now we are all here and it's special because we never do it, and I have cancer, IYKWIM. Bro is in total denial. Dad is scared but trying not to show it. We got very drunk last night.

Am starting to think about surgery - did anyone opt for straight forward implants rather than autologous recon?

Rivercam, your last sentence made me weep. So sorry.

Baubels - how are you after your mastectomy? I can't answer your q about the scan - I had a full scan the day after I met my onc (am on BUPA though - not sure if that makes a diff?)

Cail - how did wig shopping go?

Hotchoc - haven't really got that far in booking a holiday! Need to pay this massive tax bill first!

Indeed, sorry to catch up and everyone is feeling a bit shite. Sounds like a scary time for lots.

Had EC#4 on Tues - again not so bad. I HATE the farking cold cap though. I know it's worth it - I have had no hair loss so far, and that has really helped me psychologically - but god I don't know how I am going to cope when I go weekly for the second half of my treatment. Flying backwards and forwards from Rome doesn't bother me, but the bloody cold cap is the worst!

Still no side effects, and am still doing my daily Insanity work outs, so all good really. I'm at a wedding in Somerset with my bro and my dad - we haven't all been in the same place for 4 years nearly - they both live in the States but on the other side of the country from each other, and of course I am in Rome - and now we are all here and it's special because we never do it, and I have cancer, IYKWIM. Bro is in total denial. Dad is scared but trying not to show it. We got very drunk last night.

Am starting to think about surgery - did anyone opt for straight forward implants rather than autologous recon?

Rivercam, your last sentence made me weep. So sorry.

Baubels - how are you after your mastectomy? I can't answer your q about the scan - I had a full scan the day after I met my onc (am on BUPA though - not sure if that makes a diff?)

Cail - how did wig shopping go?

Hotchoc - haven't really got that far in booking a holiday! Need to pay this massive tax bill first!

Baubles I haven't had any scans, it depends where you live. Here they only do them if you have so many affected nodes, I think it's 5

i guess im still trying to understand the difference between small cell cancer where they scan/blood test every week it seems and breast cancer where the approach seems to be slice it off and then investigate - sorry im in a right grump today, very sore and fed up with family in fighting about whose being helpful

Baubles
As soon as I was diagnosed I had scans - diagnosis Friday, Scans following week followed by first chemo at end of that week.
I think this may be because they suspected secondaries (not because having been diagnosed in an NHS hospital and seen the heaving waiting room in the Oncology Department, I decided to use my BUPA membership).
And I've not had the knife (so far).

Hi all!
Just a quick check in from me. Lots going on here.
I had a lovely holiday apart from falling over on day 3 and taking a big bump to the side of my chin which resulted in crunching my oposite jaw joint, in my ear. I couldn't chew very easily but luckily could still suck cocktails through a straw

Seriously it was very painful but almost better now.

It's my birthday today! I am old but any birthday is miles better than the alternative isn't it. Off out for a meal later with dh and adult teenage dc, but dh has already irritated me by being a bit of a knob so will have to try to forget about that

Boobz - I went for straightforward implant recon. Quick and fairly painfree recovery with good result. Minimal amount of being messed about with which was my priority. Look great in day clothes and a bikini. Haven't had nipples done yet. May not bother. I love my boobs. Implants will have to be replaced at some point so it's not a once and for all surgery but who knows what will be happening in 10 years time. Very individual decision of course

Hugs for everyone and have a good weekend.

Happy birthday marshy ! Sorry to hear about your fall though, sounds painful

Happy birthday marshy, hope you enjoyed your meal and DH is behaving.

Thank you ladies. We had a nice time and dhs behaviour improved

Happy belated birthday. Glad you had a nice time and nice holiday.

Boob - didn't mean to make you cry. I haven't given up hope yet, and will try it on again. Last time was quite late, and do was tired.

Hope everyone is feeling a little more upbeat. Last week, the planets must have all been out of sync, as everyone seemed down.

Is everyone having barbecues tonight? We've just got some meat from the local butcher.

Anyone else watching the Federer match? Some great tennis.

I got my own back and took dh clothes shopping yesterday. The trendy yellow summer trousers looked hideous on me. However, I did come away with a sundress, and some shorts. However, currently, it's hammering down with rain outside, so they won't be worn today.

Staygold, not sure if I've introduced myself recently to new folk, so apologies if not. I'm one of the oldies on this thread. Four and a half years after diagnosis with a 2.3cm/4cm grade 3 HER2+ lump (size varies according to which measurement they believed most). And I'm not a doc but have spent the four and a half years reading everything on the oncology journals. If it helps, grade 3 is pretty much as good as grade 1 or 2 now. All it means is which set of treatments to give it. Grade 3 means it's a thirsty one that drinks chemo and cops it. So that works well. Breast cancer is being converted fast into nothing more than a long term nuisance. Even if it gets into other bits of the body, on average they can stop it even growing more for three years. And there are newer immune drugs coming up that retrain the body to spot cancer and kill it itself. Very hopeful stuff for all cancers, in fact.
So, no need to worry that grade 3 means more likely to be a gonner. It means non-fun chemo, probably, but that is doable. Had FEC and Tax and worked through it (quite mad...) so some are not that affected even by tough chemo. Sheer luck of body chemistry.
What we do know from the science papers is that vitamin D, curcumin , lactoferrin and low dose aspirin are all very good at slowing cancer or preventing it. Talk to teams about those. Never as an alternative, but to complement medical treatment. And sleeping in a dark room. And having as good a cheery social life as you can. Those help too. Odd but true.

Hello to all. Have Been in the dark pit of report writing so haven't had much chance to get on here. Malt- hope you have finished your last ever set!?

Boobz- I didn't have enough on my stomach to make two new boobs so had implants. Like Marshy, am very happy with them and the recovery was much quicker which I needed it to be so I could look after children.

Happy birthday Marshy. Mine today and having a quiet day after Pimms drinking last night.

Hot choc- glad you can't feel the lump, that is good news.

Sorry you have had to cancel holiday Royal.

Stay. One of mine was grade 3. It soaked up the chemo nicely. As has been said further upthread- chemo is doable.

Baubles- hope you are recovering well.

Cardiologist tomorrow to check on state of heart and to ask questions about the drugs. Will see if I have another echo booked to check how kind Herceptin is being.

Big hugs and thinking of all those newly diagnosed. (I know hugs are not the Mumsnetty thing)

its good to read the personal stories, im finding it hard to be sat round having to think about moving/reaching for every drink/remote etc

i am a crap patient, but i know im lucky to have a house full of grown up dd/ds cooking and organising each other.

Speedy yes I've finished my reports, last week at work this week there will be lots of tears even though I know it's for the best

Thanks Amber, that was fantastically helpful. I consider myself fairly bright but have been thoroughly overwhelmed with all the info I've been given recently and can't get my head around half of it. Will ask about the complementary treatments as they sound promising. Am having a sentinel node biopsy in 10 days not looking forward to that. Am also considering having a bilateral mx as if it's gene related I really don't want to go through it all again, would like to have reconstruction straightaway but understand it all hinges on if I have radiotherapy? Also been told my stomach won't make 2 (the size they are), so have to decide what to do if I go that route... Is making me very tired thinking about it all! Thanks Speedy for your wishes and info also. Sending love and hugs to all x

Stay- there is so much info at the beginning it can be overwhelming. I found it easier to take one bit at a time. If your mastectomy isn't the first procedure then maybe leave most of that info for a while. I had recon straight away because I didn't need radiotherapy. I found The sentinel node op ok. The needle and dye was fine and was very quick. I recovered relatively quickly but did start chemo three days after so things took a little bit longer than they normally would. My op was after chemo so although I did a bit of reading about it I then waited until I got closer. The surgeon will go through all your options so you don't need to make decisions now.

Thanks again Speedy, I had made a decision on what surgery I wanted tbh I think I was a bit in shock and denial and went for the option that I thought I wanted as opposed to the one that would be better for me long term iyswim. Am planning to ring the BC nurse in the morning and discuss other options. Not sure when Radiotherapy is needed with a mx as I thought it was localised therefore if having a mx Chemo would do the clear out job? Obv have a lot to learn. Have an appointment with Plastic/reconstruction surgeon this week so can discuss with him. Hopefully can get it clearer in my head then.

Hi everyone, welcome to everyone new. I was in the middle of treatment a year ago but am back to normal now, pretty much. A few minor issues but not serious. There is a life afterwards.

Stay gold the sentinel node biopsy is probably much less troublesome than you are imagining. Yes, it will feel a bit sore and tight afterwards but I never needed more than paracetamol/ ibuprofen afterwards, you'll be fine.

DH and I are off to Paris for the week tomorrow, first solo holiday in 21 years!

Thanks Mrs, that makes me feel a bit better, enjoy Paris, and thanks to all that have replied, so nice to have such lovely people to ask questions of and generally vent, it's very much appreciated!

ambergold your words were so uplifting..not the wishy washy kind but the " i know what I am talking about" kind which helps so much. I, as many many people, associate cancer with death inevitably, which is why i have been struggling because I feel I will eventually be taken away from my DC who still need me so much. Hearing what others have been through and where they are now at is way more helpful than the niceties and sympathetic words people who have never been there feel obliged to hand out to people like me who have just been diagnosed( althoughi do not hold it against them for i would not know what to tell me either!!)
I fluctuate between guilt, anger, self pity, practical planning and total despair, but then i say to myself: do i seriously think i am the only one? And i pick me up. Having to cancel a planned and looked forward to holiday was VERY hard hitting yes , but life is never going to be easy all the time. So e have it worse and those who fight inspire people like me who want to fight but feel so alone.
I find myself now thinking: the surgery will probably be the easiest bit, because i am genuinely scared of the treatment afterwards and of having to keep worrying if the cancer has gone or whether it is lurking somewhere ready to pounce again.
Sorry for such a philosophically rambling post..but you know how it can be.

amberlight not ambergold..apologies!!!

No need to fight it. Oddly, the research shows that those who get on with ordinary life and treat cancer as a nuisance...but have the same treatment as others...do better than those who want to "fight it". The attitude that it's just bloomin inconvenient seems to give better results. No idea why.

Thanks Amberlight, very helpful to hear that. I always feel better after being sociable and most of the time look at cancer as a boring inconvenience, which helps.

I start Tax on Thursday and am a bit worried about the possible side effects as they sound nasty. I'm sure that's worst case scenario though.

I didn't know you can choose implants or body fat, when I saw my surgeon pre chemo, he said they'll use back fat. But I'm really not that fat... though I have put on weight.

Last night my daughter was sick all over me, and later I was sick and then shivery. But we are both ok now.