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Original poster

**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

994 replies

Lilymaid · 20/03/2015 10:25

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

OP posts:
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5
BsshBosh · 26/06/2015 10:26

Hi everyone, new and old. Sorry to have been awol. Just not on Mumsnet much these days. I am fine: still on chemo (for life) and managing the good days with the not-so-good (fortunately far more good days). Amazing how this all becomes the new normal.

Going to a spa for a few days in August with DH. Due to being in active treatment I won't be having many treatments (no massages) but am looking forward to relaxing generally. Also looking forward to a beach holiday on Kent coast at end of school holidays (couldn't face a holiday abroad due to tiredness but excited about a UK self-catering cottage break).

Busy planning the 7-week school holidays for my 7 year old DD, managing the weeks with my chemo sessions. I think a mixture of playschemes, Grandma's house, chilled weeks at home on my off-chemo weeks (when I have more energy), DH taking time off and very helpful visits from DMIL and my DM.

X Bssh

lookingforbaubles · 27/06/2015 09:38

i saw my key nurse this week who talked me thru what will happen on monday - i have oestrogen +which is the good type she says Hmm

i have told all dd/ds except sn dd who will get the 'light' version tomorrow so she has 24 hrs to get use to the idea of me going into hospital

then the 2 week wait for results it seems

i have done an order for a huge food shop, cleaned out the back drains and cleared the washing basket, dogs tablets collected, my roots touched up, basic will knocked up -- its been a very strange to-do list!

Rivercam · 28/06/2015 19:43

Looking - wishing you all the best for tomorrow.

How long will you be staying in? I had a general last week for my hysteroscopy. I found myself feeling washed out for 24 hours, and quite sleepy at night.

Make sure you take it easy afterwards. Housework can be left ! ( I'm impressed you cleaned out the back drains!). Wimbledon starts next week - perfect excuse to sit down and watch it!

hotchocforme · 28/06/2015 20:52

Hi everyone.
Nice haircut Calin :) I also enjoyed having short hair for the first time in my life. But it will grow back.

My chemo 3 went well thanks Boobz. I did feel very grumpy that night though. I start on the Tax one next which I am not looking forward to.

My onc is very happy that he can't find either lump now. Me too. :)

I find writing a blog helpful, and I think others do too, as it helps them to understand.

Boobz, how are you going to do the travel insurance for the SA trip? I thought that you needed to be post-cancer. We want to go on a Caribbean family holiday next year, but thinking my insurance will be sky-high.

Hope you've all had a good weekend.

royalmama · 29/06/2015 16:18

Diagnosis in and cancer it is. The state of my mind i am in is probably no surprise, but i need to ask you lovely ladies some questions. There are many other tests to be done, today a whole load of blood tests and a cat scan tomorrow, as well as the hormone tests on the biopsied cells. My oncologist is going away for ten days while all this is going on. We have already booked a two week holiday before all this cancer nightmare happened and i have told the doctor and DH that i would rather go and have it and then do the lumpectomy straight after. I just don't want the dc to be disappointed and it is only for 12 days anyways.am i being unreasonable and mad? Is time very very crucial?

malteserzz · 29/06/2015 21:16

Royal sorry to hear that it's such a shock even if you expected it. We all found that once the results were all in and the treatment plan was explained things did feel a little easier so hang in there. I had to wait a month between diagnosis and surgery just because there were no spaces before then and my surgeon said it wouldn't matter. So you should be fine to go on your holiday

Hot choc that's great they can't find the lump now

Love to all hope everyone's enjoying this lovely weather :)

Rivercam · 29/06/2015 21:54

Hot choc - glad all is going well. Look on the Macmillen website. They do a fact sheet about travel and insurance, including a list of companies.

Royal mama - sorry to hear the news.hope the tests have gone well. I know someone who delayed her op by a week due to a 80th family birthday. I think go and enjoy your holiday ( unless the Dr advises differently). It will do you good. Where are you going?

royalmama · 30/06/2015 10:00

Malteserzz, i was diagnosed this last sunday and our trip is on the 20th of july. My close friends whom i have told are quite annoyed with me for considering delaying surgery to go on a holiday. I dont know how to explain that, although it wont be a super holiday, i do not want the impact of this cancer to kick off like this with my family. It will be two months since i found the lump when i return from the trip.
Rivercam, we had booked a holiday in the Bavarian Alps and the DC have been so excited about it. I know our lives are going to change because of my bc, but i guess i am trying to delay this :( My doctor would prefer i go after surgery but we can not as all has been paid and booked and DH has to come back to work. Sigh. One lump ruins everything. Sorry for moping. The CT Scan today was not a great experience either with the nurse having trouble getting my intravenous drip sorted. I just wish i could wake up and find this is all some crazy dream.

WhetherOrNot · 30/06/2015 11:36

Hi everyone

I have no-one else I can tell but today I go to see the Consultant because my x-rays show I probably have lung cancer. I don't know what to expect, but am really really bricking it. I don't know how I've got through this last 2 weeks waiting for this appointment and I don't know how I am going to come home tonight and carry on as normal. Please wish me luck.

Original poster
Lilymaid · 30/06/2015 11:40

WhetherOrNot
Wishing you all the strength to get through.
The only consolation I can offer at the moment, is that once you are onto a treatment plan it is much easier psychologically even though you might not feel too good at times.
Lil (advanced BC) x

OP posts:
WhetherOrNot · 30/06/2015 11:46

Oh, thank you so much Lil - I am in tears here that someone has answered my post.

My family is that I have a grown up son with Aspergers (who I can't tell anything to unless I know something for certain) and my brother (who lives with me and is as lost as I am!). My mother has dementia and my best friend does not 'do' illness !!!! What a motley bunch I have to deal with as well as myself. Still, only a couple of hours to go before appointment. Will let you know tonight how it went. xx

malteserzz · 30/06/2015 12:41

Royal I found Macmillan good in the early days to ring and get some advice,is there no chance you could have your op soon so you'd be recovered to go on holiday ? You'd have to check your insurance too

malteserzz · 30/06/2015 12:44

Whether good luck for your appointment, I don't think anyone ever thinks they will cope with cancer I know I didn't. It all seemed like another world and very scary at first. You do find a way of coping somehow though,the ladies on here are great for support and we'll be with you all the way. Let us know how it goes today

royalmama · 30/06/2015 13:35

WhetherOrnot it is tough, especially the waiting and not knowing, but I find , having just been diagnosed with BC after agonising waiting, that what many here share and say is so helpful. It is a lonely planet this one we are on now, but understanding what we all share in terms of tribulations and fears and concerns makes it a whole lot less lonely.

royalmama · 30/06/2015 13:38

Malteserzz, there would not be enough time for recovery if we had the surgery before the 20th because of the doctor's ten day vacation starting next week. Insurance is something I haven't even thought of! Good Lord is the no respite. Sigh.

Rivercam · 30/06/2015 16:09

Whether - hope the appointment went okay.

WhetherOrNot · 30/06/2015 18:12

Update from Whether

Firstly, thank you all for your support.

I am to have a CT scan within the next 2 weeks but the Consultant said it doesn't look "too suspicious" but the CT scan should tell us one way or another. If CT not clear, then a biopsy.

So more waiting, but I am feeling a bit more positive. I'm going to treat myself to fish and chips tonight Grin

My thoughts are with all of you who have not had such positive-ish news.

Rivercam · 30/06/2015 19:36

Bon appetite. Enjoy your fish and chips!

You sound a lot more relaxed and less panicky now. I'm glad initial resulTs sound good. Having a plan of action is always reassuring, whether tests or treatments. The 'good' thing about being investigated for cancer is that you don't have to wait months for appointments.

Hope everyone is enjoying this sunshine. Summer is actually here, and here for a while. Bought myself a sundress today. All my old ones don't fit due to my zoladex-induced weight gain. That treatment has now come to an end, so I've actually lost a few lbs. That is psychologically very uplifting.

Cailindeas35 · 30/06/2015 19:45

Hi all.

Sorry havent been on in ages.
i had my second chemo yesterday. I feel good no sickness, little tired but not bad.

My hair is thinning rapidly, and im totally distraught. Goin for a wig fitting tomorrow and have scarves at the ready. The steroids really sent me into roid rage last week, everything and everybody was annoying me. They've reduced the amount so hopefully that will help. Sat and sun was like coming down from a total high. I felt awful.
Royalmama and whether welcome. The early days are hard with all the waiting and testing. It gets a bit easier when u start on treatment. But i can safely say i still havent accepted my diagnose. It feels like im goin through a greiving process.
Rivercam hope all went well.

Hope ye are all keeping well.
oh and im getting hot flushes. The joys. Grin

StayGold · 02/07/2015 16:35

Well my results are in and not good news, I have a grade 1 invasive tubular tumour and a grade 3 invasive one, same breast so mx... I didn't get the name of the grade 3 one as was a bit banjaxed tbh. My head is swimming with options and tests and appointments, just wondered what the node biopsy was like? I have been offered to stay in overnight or have as a day surgery, not sure what to do?

Have gone from being relatively positive with the grade 1 one to cacking it with the grade 3 one. Chemo wasn't mentioned before but is now, it's all rather overwhelming and is so hard to talk to family positively as they keep crying! Just want to curl up and wake up when its over, which I imagine you all want. Sorry for the moan hope everyone on here is fairing OK x

malteserzz · 02/07/2015 17:17

Royal did you decide what to do about your holiday ? I had to cancel 2 due to treatment and it is horrid but I've been making up for it since !

Cailindeas how did the wig fitting go ? I hope you found one you are happy with

Gold I'm sorry about your results though lots of us were grade 3, I get the grades and stages mixed up but mine was 3 too. I had the sentinel node biopsy at the sand time as my lumpectomy and it was fine, they inject your boob with dye so they can see the nodes. I always wanted to come straight home after surgery I hate staying in hospital but others fine it easier to rest there. Chemo is hard but doable, it's not something you ever think will happen to you

royalmama · 02/07/2015 18:09

Malteserzz, we decuded to cancel the holiday and i shallbe having the lumpectomy and node biposy in ten dats tine. I had a really good cry last night. It is just so tough how all our plans are messed up .we dont even know if we will get our money back ( flight fares and hotel). DC looked so sad when i told them we would not be travelling. DS1 who is ten eventually said as long as are better mummy it is ok, mau e w ecan go another time. I felt like i had been stabbbed in the heart .that moment ...lord knows when we will be able to make it up to them, bless them. Sigh. The good news is the CT scanshows the damn cancer has not spread to any of the bital organs. It is left to see what the lymph node biopsy says as well as the hormone test.
StayGold, i know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and sleep it all out. The best part of my current existence these days is being asleep when my mind is switched off, and the worst part is waking up and realising yes i have cancer still and no it is not a bad dream.

royalmama · 02/07/2015 18:11

Sorry for the loads of typos...can't seem to make any sense anymore :(

lookingforbaubles · 02/07/2015 18:20

i am home after mastectomy with sentinel node biopsy, it was all ok i guess, a small 6 bed ward with other woman from the breast clinic helped i think

i am very confused tho as to why i havent had a scan to see if its gone else where, not even a blood test looking for markers, any ideas why?

i have the 2 week wait now for tissue results.

StayGold · 02/07/2015 18:25

Royal poor you cancelling your hol Sad hopefully you can get some money back. The children will get over it as they are resilient beings. Having you is the greatest gift they can have, speaking from experience my mum died of BC when I was younger so know first hand that hols will come and go but Mum's are everything and much more important! So glad not spread to organs x Malteserzz thanks for the info. I would rather go home I think, hopefully not too painful Sad I hate waking up and having that moment when you remember what you have to deal with that day and the next... But onwards and upwards have to keep going! X