The Back Pain Emporium is Open For Business. Browsers Welcome. Thread 7

[MatildaTheCat]

For anyone experiencing back pain it can be a terrifying time. What is wrong? Who can help? How long will this last? We,on this thread are here to support you;offer empathy and help to navigate the almost impossible task of getting a diagnosis and the right treatment.We are not doctors but people who have trodden this path slowly and painfully. We also chat a LOT and welcome all newcomers. It is strictly non competetive regarding pain and no niggle is too minor.

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn. And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us. Not to mention the pain of dealing with claiming disablity benefits. .

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly,sometimes drink , have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

Previous thread for anyone interested

Hope its something nice Matilda. It could just be a large letter with the wrong stamp. Or something early for Mothering Sunday if you have family far away.
Definitely time to put your feet up Ally. My washing is done, but the ironing pile is beckoning (before todays are dry). Little and often is the way (talks to reluctant self).
I had a load of little catalogues come through today, full of summery clothes. I must have got on a mailing list somewhere.

Bloody hell, I didn't realise how cold it is out today. I schlepped to the PO place and queued for parcel which turned out to be a signed for letter (said parcel on the card but never mind). So it had to be the response to my pension appeal, right? I know the decision was made last week. I dithered over when to open it. Decided to just do it. It was a letter from Waitrose apologising for the fish hook which found it's way into DH's mouth via a piece of haddock. Plus £50 token.

So still on tenterhooks over pension fiasco.

Now summoning energy for a swim...jacuzzi and steam. Don't feel like taking off clothes and getting wet.

Oh no - just wrote a massive long post to say hello to everyone, and lost it (and now need to fight the Battle Of Piano Practice, followed swiftly by the Lesser Homework Wars).... so will send inappropriately timed instead and post again soon.

Oh my goodness...fish hook in mouth! That was a boring parcel Matilda !
BritabroadinAsia oh those terrible wars/battles. DS is fine. He (now) conscientiously does his homework and plays the piano several times a day for pleasure - teaching himself new pieces not even set. DD is a nightmare and FIGHTS me all the way. Most of the time - after a lot of moaning/arguing - she goes and does her piano practice and half the time she is just playing all the pieces she can play rather than the tricky bits she needs to get right. I have begged suggested that she gives up! Do you sit at the piano while he/she/they practise? I can't bring myself to do that since the arguments would then continue...

Oh yes, Berrie, I am all over the piano practice as otherwise no scales would ever be played and I'm too much of a control freak to let them play alone. How old is your wondrous DS who will practise piano AND do his homework diligently too? I am in awe.

So have just got back after a fab evening out where I have done more physically than in a long time and will no doubt pay for it in the morning (running for a train and then mum-dancing at a gig, not for very long, but still a lot more than the sedate walks I have been taking of late).I had such a great appointment with my new physio last week and had a relatively pain- free few days, so I am feeling very positive that maybe this is improving? I know that probably sounds stupidly Pollyanna-ish, and maybe it's just a temporary respite, but am feeling hopeful. I'm very much hoping that I won't be regretting having drunk a glass or two too many and been a bit reckless... we shall see.

Matilda, so sorry to hear that the pension letter hasn't yet arrived. It must be very frustrating. But am glad that Waitrose have fallen on their sword and sent you something for the fishhook... Am having some serious garden envy, hearing about the magnolia - always a lovely thing at this time of year. Maybe you could do a Ninja-style raid on my garden and send pics? A ladder propped up against your back garden fence, a telephoto lens, a chronic back injury - what could possibly go wrong?

I am about. back at work on phased return, back to the world of normality, it's really bloody hard to 'slow down' when every single fucker in the world now thinks I am 'better' (apart from you lot of course, you all get it). So tired exhausted by the evening even on days not working (most days) as still doing school runs and activities in the evenings, and housework to do (not going mad, but can't sit around watching my home disappear under grime, kids clothing, paperwork and washing), in pain by the evening and not really been able to think enough to write/respond to everyone. But have been reading so virtually here.

(that should read 'in more pain by the evening'. Alas, there is no such as thing as 'no pain' but there has been reduced pain, so shouldn't complain really).

Pav, checkout the sciatica thread...could be someone who even knows someone who is close to your heart

Sorry you are tired.I'm bloody exhausted after a day of stupid stuff.You deserve a medal. A big gold one. Enjoy the rest of your week and try to... REST!!!

Lol Pavlov 7 years on and people still expect me to suddenly get "better" - get used to it, its a long road . Sounds like you are doing great though!

I have no plans today other than a leisurely trip round Asda (even that is more fun now I don't work as I can take as long as I like and as long as my back can take it).

I do have the odd period of "no pain" - usually mid morning when I have either worked off the pain or the meds kick in and there is a lovely time around 10.30-11ish when if I sit in my recliner watching rubbish on tv (I like some terrible programmes) and the sun is shining on me I feel great!

Hope the rest of you can fine some "no pain" or at least "low pain" time

Hi Pav sorry that things are tough but you sound like you are doing well. Just try and take it a bit more easy!
Nice to think of you sitting in the sun Ally . Enjoy ASDA!
Brit DS is 11. His great attitude cannot be anything to do with us as DD clearly proves. I did sit with her before school yesterday but I was as enthusiastic as her about sight reading her new piece so we decamped to YouTube to listen to it instead I am beginning to see it is ALL my fault but no...guilty as I feel hearing of your efforts, I CANNOT sit in on the practice! I just can't!
Did I mention I was 5:2 ing? I put put on a stone during my last back episode and it's time to take it off again Matilda did try to warn me but I was so sorry for myself I couldn't stop! I am only one week in and 4lb down but this is my second fast day this week. I am telling you - of course - so that you can look sternly at me when I begin to falter. I tend to give up when I am a stone down (if not before) as I feel so thin though in reality I could do with losing a couple more
We got out first quotes for the extension today. the first was £78,000 though that didn't include the sewer diversion and replacing all windows (I reckon another £9000) oh and kitchen bathrooms, central heating on top too. The second is £120, also not including sewer but not sure what it does include yet. This is more than we expected. DH's job is dodgy at the moment but he feels we can't put our lives on hold just in case he is made redundant. We have definitely out grown our house and the extended version would be great and better than a new house using the same amount of money (though would still be a semi) Don't know what to do!!!
Oh yes - I know what I meant to say before I got distracted talking about anything and everything - DS has a bad knee. He did something to it while playing football on Friday (though I wonder if he actually did something at gymnastics as his heel was giving him trouble after gymnastics too) He is still hobbling around and I am having to drive him to school though won't be able to as at work rest of week...would you take him to the GP? I had given him ibuprophen though then remembered I perhaps shouldn't because of his asthma...

Ooh link please to sciatica thread?! Can't find it.

For Pavlov Sciatica Thread . Pertinent post at the end but worth a read anyway for some bonkers remarks about MRIs

berrie, gosh that is a big project. We've done heaps of work on houses but nothing on that scale. Would you also have to factor renting somewhere whilst work is done? I love the idea but hate the actual process. Never been unhappy at the end,though. I was that child who hated to practice the piano ye wouldn't actually give up. After many years of lessons I somehow scraped through grade 4 and even played ruined grade 5 pieces. I now cannot remember any of it and got an E at O level. I love listening to music but am clearly not remotely musical. Neither of my boys plays anything more than strumming a guitar. However, ds2 is, very excitingly, a hiphop rapper in his spare time and was at several festivals last year. A very minor part player I must add.

Ally, I am a fan of mid mornings, too. I was always at my best at work between about 10-3 so clearly never meant for high places! I am also very the number of medical friends who see me very occasionally and still look amazed that I am not better. despite having been told this is permanent and unfixable . I think one day I will announce that yes, my back is totally cured however I have developed a taste for opiates and lounging around.

Brit, my garden is facing the wrong way. I will climb up on the roof and have a look. If you need a gardener I will share the details of mine who is charming and reasonable and easy on the eye.

Berrie, perhaps we could swap children - I was expecting you to say he was 15 or something. Where did it all go wrong? I should also be 5:2 ing, as funnily enough I also managed to gain weight over the past few months with being much less active and eating anything not nailed down, but it's all gone to shit and I keep delaying the fast days... So stay strong today - 4lbs off is brilliant. I do hope that DS knee improves, but yes its probably worth getting checked out with Dr, especially if anti-inflammatories are problematic. Your grand design sounds exciting!

Pavlov, how are you feeling today? Hoping you are less tired? How many days a week are you back to work now? And how was the shopping trip ally?

Think my exertions last night were a bit premature as back has been hurting today BUT not too badly. A low pain time, as ally said. I was being a bit cavalier after a couple of drinks, but it was just so nice to forget about it, get lost in the moment and not be worrying about possibly making the problem worse.

matilda I think I might need to chat to you about your gardener. I do have a company in at the moment who are (apparently) keeping it all neat and tidy but I KNOW that they aren't winter pruning the wisteria or taming the acers or basically giving it any love. I'm ridiculously precious about the garden, so a competent hot 'proper' gardener could be perfect as my next DH.

Lol Matilda I might try that too - totally cured thanks, its a miracle!

Stressful trip to Asda in the end as got yet another phone call from Mum's nursing home (its a daily thing now) - apparently she fell but has not broken anything. Monday I think I had about 6 calls then Tuesday she was off in an ambulance and on it goes. I am aware I sound less than sympathetic but I've been coping with her dementia for years and its very wearing. Also she has been calling ambulances all her life and up till now had nothing wrong. Finally she has problems (she is 86) and gets lots of attention. I am so glad we don't have kids to do this to. Sorry am stressed and depressed and have now eaten half the shopping. I had a stroke a few years ago before they were in a home and I can't cope with it as anymore but am all she has.

Ho ho ho. I too got to grade 4 Matilda learned the grade 5 pieces and got an E at o level I bet though you remember more than you think. When we got the piano one summer I started on the grade one pieces and after a few weeks found my working level to be grade 3. After that though it was just too much hard work and I couldn't be arsed!
Ally it doesn't sound bad. I for one have been through the parents in law in care home thing and it's so hard. MIL kept being rushed to hospital too for heart attacks until the DNR was put in place and FIL was so miserable in the home that he refused to eat and starved himself to death which took weeks and weeks. So all of my sympathy and no judgement here.
Brit join me and get back to it! My fast days are over for this week thank goodness. I don't feel so great on the day afterwards so I had better go and munch something else before I go to work.
Pav no we don't need to move I don't think as it is a side extension (bigger than the actual house) I really am very concerned about going ahead. The first builder's letter has given us a quote and says he will give us a breakdown if we accept his quote but how are we supposed to compare quotes with no detail about what he is quoting for? Perhaps he doesn't want the job...
I might have my lesson observation this morning! Joy of joys If not I will still be feeling this full of dread this time tomorrow...

Thanks for that Berrie - I have a quite complex relationship with her but guilt prevails these days (which will no doubt be even worse when she goes). She did finally say she loved me the other day though ... I was never sure lol. My childhood was quite lonely and filled with "I can't be bothered" or "I have a headache" as she always put herself first and she was very quick with her hands (which was normal in the 60s and 70s) so we were afraid of her. I don't really forgive which doesn't help. She did her best I guess.

First physio appt for neck today so hope its productive as its been getting more and more painful.

Ally, I actually think it's fine to award yourself time off from your mum. My pil are nothing like as bad though mil is in a nursing home but still very demanding at times and there are loads of us to share it out. When FIL sighs piteously that he's seen no one all week we want to scream....you see people every single day, have a huge amount of family around and can still get about, STFU complaining! So your situation resonates. I think at your point you have to recognise that a) you aren't going to be getting any more mothering from her and b) we all have a tipping point. You can ask the care home to only call in a proper emergency, six times is ridiculous. But I know, the guilt stops you from looking out for yourself.

I sent my mil to Coventry two weeks ago and still haven't seen her. Did text this week. Not sure is she's realised tbh but made me feel a bit better. Every so often you've just had enough.

Berrie, another failed musician . Yesterday got an unexpected lunchtime recital by two young virtuosos at a museum. The pianist had 'commenced her musical studies after graduating in English from Cambridge'. Enough to make you sick,really. It was divine.

Going on holiday in a few weeks and could do with losing just a few pounds but is it going to happen? Not really. Out to lunch today and plan to eat. A 'posh do' tomorrow night then probably a hangover to feed. What's a girl to do? .

I hope it's ok if I join this thread and ask for a bit of advice?

I've had on and off back pain since having a slipped disc age 19, which was treated with physio. Occasionally I've been prescribed something like diazepam when I get a bad flare up but I've managed reasonably well over the last 15 years or so.

Until last week. My lower back became progressively more achy, then on Monday I had constant feelings of something snapping or twanging every time I moved. That's carried on and today I can hardly stand up straight. Every time I move I feel like my back is going to give way. The pain is also radiating down the front of my thighs.

For background:

• I work in a desk job at home so don't always get the chance to walk outside during the day
• I have a tall toddler who insists on being picked up a lot (I also need to pick her up to put her in the car, into her cot etc)
• I take triptans regularly for severe migraines.

Looking at the above, my head is telling me that this is just the effects of too much sitting/toddler carrying, but it also feels like my back is literally going to crumble at any moment, so I feel very vulnerable. So I'm not sure if this is something I just need to ride out with gentle exercise and painkillers, or whether I need to see a doctor to get referred for physio or some decent painkillers. Can anyone help me with the best course of action? Thank you in advance

As always you give sensible advice Matilda thanks. Mum tells people she gets no visitors too and every time I visit (6 years) she thinks its my first time sigh

Hi Rally - don't know what advice to give you other than see a GP. Not sure if its slipped disc or spasm you are describing but I had a few episodes which were similar over the years before it went completely - you probably need an MRI but someone else who knows more will be here shortly!

First physio appt went very well - apparently I DO NOT have a trapped or slipped disc in my neck (hurrah!) but am suffering from 40 years of desk jobs. She gave me a good "doing" so am very sore and stiff today but thinks that with a few more visits and exercises I can improve a lot. She also gave me a much needed kick up the butt re my weight. I was spiralling into a pain/depression/stress/comfort eating out of control path so hopefully that's stopped me.

I love the sound of your museum/gallery trips matilda. I am very envious. Unfortunately I had a terrible panic attack in london last year and the biggest one I had before that was also in the Tate which wasnt even busy. Shame.
Ally I would join in the mother discussion but unfortunately mine is capable of following me here- though I hope not- hi mum- so I am keeping quiet!
I didnt get observed yesterday so it was going to be one of my lessons this morning. I was already in a super stressed state just before the bell went when dh texted me to say sil with brain tumour had had seizures, was in icu and to expect worst. I cried and cried with shock for sil, fir sils children and for my lovely dh. Some one else took the register and someone tried to tell management so I didnt have to be observed. I begged to go ahead though as the preparation and anticipation are worse than actual obs. It all went ok and katest news is sil out of intensive care and wken up after all. Came home and dh fine - more worried about redundancy developments at work. He was grateful for my loving texts all day but I just feel we are on a totally difderent page feelings wise and I don't feel I can tell him what happened to me today and my meltdown...I do know that when sil first got the brain tumour it took him days to register and feel upset and I guess it is more of the same. Any way dont feel I can talk to him right now which is whymI'm splilling here.

Hi Folks. I've not been around for a while at all.... Hope it's still allowed to be here! I'm almost 6 months post MD (I had 2 in 10 days), and over the last 6 months my pain has gotten worse again. :( I'm getting pain down my right leg, bit of numbness in my heel, and most worryingly for me, pain in my left leg, which I haven't had before. I was SO well, so quickly, after my second surgery - back at work after 3.5 weeks, on a long haul flight and doing 14 hour days in Australia less than 5 weeks post surgery. I was left with permanent nerve damage though.

I'm really worried something is going wrong again. I've seen my GP and he's referred me back to the neurosurgeon. I'm being seen in 3 weeks, not the usual 18... Not sure if that's good or not. I am dreading the thought I might need yet more surgery. I'm not sure I can face if again.

I'm looking for glimmers of hope that someone else might have had this type of thing, and that its all settled down as 'healing pain' or the like. Please!!

I'm 38. I want another child, but I have to accept that might not be possible because of my back. Maybe this is what my back will he like for the rest of my life. I need a slap to stop being so bloody defeatist and scared.

Oops. 6 weeks my pain has gotten worse. Not months. 6 months post MD.

Fuckity fuckity fuck! I carried on my post TWICE but have lost it both times as on phone in bed! ( bit pissed) but to very briefly redo again....and I mean very briefly. Ally- hope motivation holds gor you. Matilda bugger it and just enjoy your holiday and trips out before and hello pav hope you are ok this friday night.

Hello to all and will reply properly tomorrow. So many sad and horrid things happening.

Meme. I got news today that I was awarded my full ill health retirement pension. It's taken 18 months of frustration, stress and despair. So a very hollow victory.

Thinking of you all.xxx

Oh good matilda.
Caspar am no expert but back trouble can be for life so might as well have another child too as will be a nicer legacy. That might sound wrong in so many ways...but I know what I mean - dont let the gorilla steal your life . I probably needed surgery after first but didnt get it.I popped out another and lived to tell the tale. I am sure the surgeon will have a more sensible perspective...