The Back Pain Emporium is Open For Business. Browsers Welcome. Thread 7

[MatildaTheCat]

For anyone experiencing back pain it can be a terrifying time. What is wrong? Who can help? How long will this last? We,on this thread are here to support you;offer empathy and help to navigate the almost impossible task of getting a diagnosis and the right treatment.We are not doctors but people who have trodden this path slowly and painfully. We also chat a LOT and welcome all newcomers. It is strictly non competetive regarding pain and no niggle is too minor.

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn. And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us. Not to mention the pain of dealing with claiming disablity benefits. .

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly,sometimes drink , have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

Previous thread for anyone interested

Glad to hear you have a resolution Matilda, even if it is bittersweet. I can imagine some of how hard it must be....
Thanks Berrie. I've done a lot of crying these last couple days. I'm terrified this is the rest of my life.... :(

Morning all,

Rally, seems you probably need to do a bit of both, ie change the way you are working, stop/ dramatically reduce the toddler lifting, start some back care exercises, take painkillers and see GP as well. Re working you simply have to have the discipline to very regularly stand up,walk around and stretch etc. do you have the best possible set up with chair, desk etc? Not sure if you are self employed but if not your employer may still have to contribute to these workplace adjustments.

Re your toddler, well very tricky but if you end up flat on your back in bed for weeks you won't be picking her up. Are you being super conscious of using your knees and hips and lifting safely? There are ways of cajoling a toddler to do things without lifting them they might be harder at the time but you get my gist.

In case you've not seen it do try This brilliant and simple exercise. It pulls your spine very gently into correct alignment.

Keep posting, others will advise. I was lucky to be fit when I had small people around.

Berrie, oh god what an awful day and time for you. Here's a hug ((())), I don't care if I get expelled. It sounds as if you are doing so well supporting your DH. He is likely focussing on other worries because they are more manageable. But then who knows what happens in a male mind at these times? Glad SIL has rallied and the teaching obs went ok. Tough times indeed. Just one thing. I started getting panic attacks in supermarkets a few years ago. I didn't really call them that but would leave anyway! I could do mini Tesco etc and could cope with smallish Waitrose but the big Tesco, I don't think I went in for about three years. It's got better. I wouldn't go when busy of course but it has just improved. If you like galleries and museums try something really small. Our local town has a little museum for example. I'm dying to go to the Alexander McQueen exhibition but know it will be mobbed so will leave that for now until I can get a ticket and a kind soul to take me. Never give up the things you love when there are adaptations to be made.

Casper, sorry you have to be back. Good that you have the appointment so quickly. Not so good you need it.. In the meantime can you scale right back on work and travel? Sadly it does seem to be the case that having surgery doesn't really fix you, just sorts out one thing IYSWIM? Hope you can take it easy and try to recover. As always, if your back is telling you something you do well to listen IME.

God I was in pain yesterday afternoon. Two trips to London is not a good idea even if it is a simple journey. Too much sitting, some walking, well you know, ordinary everyday stuff. We are going to a ball tonight, very local and quite low key (I hope) but I could do without it. I'm heading for coffee and a stroll with my dog walking friends and then will be in serious lounging mode for the day. Well that's the plan.

Berrie sorry you are having such a bad time. As Matilda wisely says - small steps can help with the panics and you always have us to talk to. On a lighter note my Mum has never touched a computer so I can say what I like!

Casper - I still get stray nerve pain (memory?) 7 years on so its nothing to panic about hopefully although we always will. I also get strange one-off pains and a buzzing feeling in the leg that is still a bit numb ... back surgery is the gift that never stops giving! And now my neck has joined in the fun I am ecstatic! Still better than pre-surgery though!

We have lots on this weekend so fingers crossed I survive it without the zombie drugs!

Casper. I am so sorry that I said that to you last night about back pain can be for life. My surgeon said that to me when - months after surgery I was still in a lot of pain and I was devastated. Let me try again without the influence of several glasses of wine!
I didn't mean to suggest that you would be in this much pain all day every day for ever and ever. I know that is how it feels at the time though. I just meant that for the rest of your life - for some - your back can be a bit dodgy. if you are lucky like me you can go for months at a time - years - without problems but still have a back condition if you see what I mean. I'm sorry I was so clumsy last night. Don't give up hope.
Will catch up later everyone else - have got to go out mothers' day shopping!

Hello everyone,

Rally, I second what Matilda has said (on account of her infinite wisdom), and really wish I had seen the GP sooner with my back instead of ignoring it and hoping it would all go away. Don't diminish it.
Lots more snuggling on the sofa style things with the toddler, and distraction to avoid lift in him/her, maybe? And yy to standing and stretching (I find bending forwards helps most but it may not be right for you?) very frequently too.

Berrie -
Sounds like a really tough day. People process fear and grief so differently, and I'm sure that your DH really appreciates that you are being very supportive. It sounds as though he might be less able to reciprocate, but that's what your friends are for, in RL and here. Please do post and we can listen. I can really empathise with wanting your lesson observation over and done with, despite your distress - the thought of being all psyched up for it and then having to re-plan in all that detail for another lesson would not be great, so I'm glad its out of the way for you. In my former existence as a teacher, I remember the nerves, so well done that you managed to go ahead under such difficult circumstances.

Matilda, was the trip to town worth it? Am so sorry that you are suffering today. I did some (vicarious) shopping with a friend who wanted opinions on buying a jacket yesterday; I felt a bit like I'm sure DH used to feel (many years ago when we still went shopping together) as was chief handbag/jumper holder in many shops, and realised how bloody uncomfortable it made my back to be standing around like that for a long time... had a lovely time, but it was a learning experience, and needed the painkillers and diazepam last night. Hope the ball is good tonight, and if not that you can escape at a reasonable hour/drink through the pain?

Sorry, ally, I meant to say hello to you as well, but couldn't see your posts on the page while I was writing and of course then couldn't keep in my head what I wanted to respond to... but I did want to say I'm so sorry about the ongoing situation with your mum. I feel lucky that as yet, my parents and in-laws haven't yet reached that stage in life of requiring care, but of course I guess it's fairly inevitable. Do you think that the "I love you' was a moment of lucidity/recognition for what you are doing? I'm sorry that it has been such a long time. What a horrible disease it is.
I'm very glad your physio appointment went so well, and that she could make a difference. I think I'm a tiny bit in love with my new physio, who is fabulous, despite the fact that she has now highlighted how totally crap my core is (despite much gym going and Pilates-ing). Must have been cheating all this time....

Sad news chez Brit - the DDs hamster died yesterday. After the initial grief was managed with much sobbing and stroking of hamster's cold, stiff little corpse, I was faced with the dilemma of how to bury the body - we live in a garden-less apartment and the local terrain doesn't lend itself to grave digging... Had a somewhat panicked time garnering opinions from my friends of what to do, which included (helpfully) throwing hamster into the rubbish, burying it in a plant pot on the balcony and performing a makeshift cremation on the BBQ. Needless to say, none of these options were selected. We went out this to a secluded spot this afternoon and the burial service was conducted at a very shallow grave, covered in leaves and large stones in a makeshift (Dobby from Harry Potter style) burial mound. Many tears were shed, and then they started asking for a dog. Am leaving it to Dh to be the bad guy on that one.

Lol Brit I get confused in here too re responding to who said what ... have been known to make notes its so bad! . Re Mum I have no idea what she was thinking (never have) ... perhaps she thought she was dying and should get it in before she went ... shame she never thought to say it all my other 57 years but hey ho! Its been a roller coaster with her and not quite done yet.

Awww poor hamster ... sadly they don't live long. Good luck with the dog conversation. I was never allowed a pet as a child (Mum rules) and now OH doesn't want anything either though I beg frequently. Sometimes visit pet shops for a look ... sad eh?

Yes a good physio is fabby though I am shocked she said I had rubbish posture as I try so hard. Must try harder.

Hi everyone, hows everyone keeping. Last week has been busy again, work is the same or worse now, very busy and still short staffed. Witj regards to me putting in writing about the reception job, the manager has agreed but only if I do my contracted hours on the care job first.

The insurance company have decided car is uneconomical repair so written off, they have offered 2k to us as pay out. So now needing a newer car, possible vauxhall insignia.
My dd is getting really gobby and has real bad attitude, I have been to see the school to see if anything is going on, but they just say hormones, or there area few with bad attitudes. Not much help really.

Me and dh are having few issues as well, we are having rough patch. We have been for a while. I have suggested we have a break. I just seem so down at the mo, constantly crying.
I have gone back to physio again as can feel stiffness in myback again.
I hope you all have a lovely day tomorrow.

I am on annual leave tomorrow but dh going to his parents and wants to take dd, they both know I have day off.

Was it only supermarkets for you Matilda ? My second worse one was in Asda but instead of leaving (I was with the children and was trying not to worry them) I threw 3 lots of everything into the trolley so that I never ever had to go again! Also what's with all the Balls? Are you actually Cinderella?
Brit you make me laugh. Not sure that I was supposed to
Pink I'm really sorry that you are having a rough time. You've had a lot on your plate for a while so it's no wonder family relationships are strained. I hope today goes better than you think.
Pav Hope you are getting on OK.
Casper how are you doing?
I really should get out of bed. The family are waiting downstairs for their mothers' day breakfast. I don't really do breakfast Then I will need to think about starting lunch for my Mum. She was supposed to be going down to London to see DB until he realised that it was Mothers' day and had to think about his wife. My other brother is similarly protective of his wife. Each year I think about pointing out that I have never ever actually had a mothers' day just for me but it's only a day.
Anyway. Hope you are all OK - waves to Ally and that you enjoy what is left of the weekend.

Hi Folks. Sorry I have been away - we went off in my parents camper van with the kids on Sat AM and just back. Was lovely - just an hour up the road - and been doing some walking and went to a Historic Scotland place today. Kids made me cards and DP bought me and my mum (who does so much for us) a voucher to have a spa day. Lovely. :) Been nice to not have the drudgery of home and be away from work pressures too. Luckily the bed in the van is comfy!

Berrie - thanks for the explanation. I think I did understand what you meant. I am trying not to be too down about the thought this may be it, and the best it will ever be. DP and I had a long chat over a bottle of vino last night, whilst the kids were tucked up. He is being really great, and will come to the surgeon with me in 3 weeks, so we can really think about what the options are, depending on what the surgeon says. If it has to be more surgery, we will deal with it.

I realise I am lucky, in that we can do these things - a weekend away with the kids, even if I can't pick them up just now; I work full time (and the rest) in a challenging job, where I am largely respected; and I have a loving and supportive family. I am lucky. Just wish I had the back of a regular 38 year old!

Ally, Matilda, others (I'm on the app and can't scroll back...) - thank you for the support, and sorry for moaning. I hope you have had good weekends, that your backs have allowed you to do something you have enjoyed, and you have some relief - both physically, and with life in general. Will check in over the next couple days. x

Well after such a positive 1st physio have to say my neck is a little easier but .... after a couple of days of stiffness had a back spasm yesterday morning which laid me out (zombie drugs, hot pad and ice pack and still very stiff and sore today). Fairly sure the massage brought it on as that's how I had my last one (years ago) also at a time of stress. Its been a long time since I struggled to reach my own butt but we slipped straight back into the hubby as nurse routine as I barely moved out of recliner yesterday. Sadly he can't cook so my diet is out the window until I can get organised again ... mission for today is to manage a shower and try and keep moving.

I did read all the posts above but drugs have finished off my tiny brain so just waving at everyone and hoping you are having an ok day

Oh no that sounds like OH had to help me in the butt area ... not what I meant haha!

Morning all, well it was a nice weekend but after the ball on Saturday ( hoping friends didn't notice I was doped on diazepam and oromorph before even getting there) the weekend was mostly filled with sleeping. Honestly,mi was wiped out. DH got up at 8 on Sunday and went off to play golf so I dozen on until 10. Then had to lie in, obviously, it being Motheys Day . I did hobble slowly around the park because the poor dog was getting sad going up the wall but then slept again. DH did a big roast, ds2 came to visit with a flowering plant (god knows what?!) and then dozed all evening until being sent to bed at 9.30. So have to catch up with Hot Poldark today .

Koala, sorry things are so tough. Hope you had some niceness over the weekend. Elderly parents are very tough on the wider family. Dd will come through. Hormones have a lot to answer for.

Casper, nice weekend! Hope your week goes well. I'm sure you have done this but are there any more workplace adjustments you can make? Sometimes it's making lots of small changes that can make a difference. There can come a time when the bottom line is finding solutions in your life as opposed to seeking more medical solutions. Not saying you are at that point but it seems likely you may not ever get that perfect 38 year old back.. Can you fit constructive rest and some stretches into your day? Walk around more? Stand up when on the phone? Think Alexander Texhnique thoughts? ( simple and helpful about releasing tension).

Berrie, not Cinderella. No more balls for a very long time and a distinct lack of swoony princes other than friends husband, therefore off limits. Now you prompt me, not only supermarkets though all similar vein ie Currys, B&Q. Remember sending DH in to buy me a laptop whilst I waited in the car park which is very sensible, no??

Ally, sorry for sore neck and bad diet. This morning when I finally get up I will go through the fridge and throw out last weeks tasty and healthy veg then go to waitrose to purchase the next lot. Have a new Aldi down the road which would be a more cost effective option for the bin but see above comments ^^.

Sorry that you are feeling rough Ally Hopefully today is better for you.
Sorry Matilda that you are rather zonked out too. Never had a problem with B&Q type shops but they are so boring it might be worth developing one! Have just been to Asda all by myself with no worries at all yet struggling with idea of going out with my Dad tomorrow. So strange.
I have not yet weighed in this week. Thought I'd do it tomorrow since I am fasting today and should be nice and empty by then. DS gave me a hug this weekend and said I was feeling thinner for some reason which must have been genuine as they don't know I'm dieting. I think he measures by how easily he can get his little arms round! DH was going to join me today but he is way too miserable to be able to do it. You have to wait until you know you have enough motivation I think.
Yesterday I looked at your Devon recommendations. Would this be a nice campsite location do you think? [[http://bigburyholidays.co.uk/]] Hmmm...wonder if that link is working....

Berrie Your link looks nice if a little basic for my tastes ,. I'm not as familiar with the Bigbury side of the estuary. You can walk across to Burgh Island at low tide but tbh you would probably only want to do that once. The view there is looking towards Bantham which is my absolute favourite place in the world. The first bit of sand is on the estuary where dogs are allowed and is just beautiful. Bantham has the advantage of a coffee wagon with food and loos although quite a walk from the beach bits. It's a huge beach area. This is a similar campsite on 'my' side. Beware, it's a longish drive between Bantham and Bigbury as you need to go inland to get across the estuary. So for my money it would be.....

The whole area is so lovely, especially with good weather. Must go soon.

That looks nice too! Thank you.
So where would you stay if going for a weekend? Not camping? Feeling a need for the sea!

Family friendly... could be dog friendly but not necessarily...not outrageously expensive!

Ok, if just a weekend do you want mostly beach or town? Isolated or village?

This is a proper traditional pub with rooms! super close to the beach.

Thurlestone is a bigger village very close by and has a shop, pub and a nice beach. Golf, too if that's for you. Lovely costal walks from Thrlestone to Bantham. and a nudist beach on the way if you are athletic enough to climb down. The whole area is gorgeous. Kings bridge a proper town but quite nice. Salcombe is nicknamed Fulham on Sea for a good reason but is absolutely lovely. Dartmouth is busy and great for a mooch around and a pasty. Happy to take a look at anywhere you find and give an opinion you will not be surprised to hear. Pavlov is the real expert here, you might want her input. I do know it well, though.

Tee hee...I have emailed The Sloop! If we get down for the weekend, we can check out the campsites for the summer! That's my excuse anyway.
Thank you Matilda so good to get a recommendation. It looks just our sort of thing!
What I really want is a camper van so we can tour a bit but DH won't have it! When I win the lottery (which I never play) I am going to buy one anyway and park it in the barn of the smallholding I also buy...though - hold on...I might not need one when I have my house in Cornwall.

Ahhhh Berrie - what you need is a campervan daft dad (or other relative) who will have a nice van, and maintain it all, but let you borrow it whenever they're not using it! I realise we're incredibly fortunate on that score, but it's a lovely treat. It's a 4 berth, with a fixed double bed at the back, and a pull out double from the banquettes at the front.

There's also a full kitchen, tv, and a toilet & shower. We usually go to a site with power and toilets/showers, but nice to have the loo in the van for the kids at night. :)

Is it VW size or ice cream van size...or larger? don't get me started on the camper van yearning

Thanks Berrie and Matilda. Much better after my spasm .. think its because I reacted quickly and stopped dead to recover this time instead of pushing on. Was crazy with drugs aftermath yesterday (and of course bunged up which is another problem). No idea how you ladies with constant pain cope with the misery of it all (and the drugs) - hats off to you all

Will report it all back to the physio so she can adjust the plan of action accordingly and hopefully this doesn't happen every time.

What would you take this to mean?

i have just had a look in the diary for you and we do have availability on this weekend coming, the weekend starting 27th we are fully booked the weekend of 3rd may / 10th may / 17th may.

Which weekends would you say were free?

Is it today Ally?

I have lost another 3lb so that's half a stone. I am not celebrating just yet. I lost a stone last summer and then had a week where I lost nothing and gave up - putting it back on then more when my back went in the autumn. If I can get past the week where I suffer and nothing happens but I carry on - then I will celebrate!