The Back Pain Emporium, Internet Shopping, Drugs and Dealing with Doctors. Thread 6.

[MatildaTheRedNosedReinCat]

For anyone experiencing back pain it can be a very scary time. What is wrong? Who can help? How long will this last? We,on this thread are here to support you;offer empathy and help to navigate the almost impossible task of getting a diagnosis and the right treatment.We are not doctors but people who have trodden this path slowly and painfully. We also chat a LOT and welcome all newcomers. It is strictly non competetive regarding pain and no niggle is too minor.

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn. And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us. Not to mention the pain of dealing with claiming disablity benefits .

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly,sometimes drink wine , have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a brew and say hello

This is our 6th thread, here is the 5th, which has links too the others:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/a2203923-Back-Pain-and-Internet-Shopping-Thread-Number-5

matilda meant to ask how your lunch went? hope it was enjoyable and not too much payback. How are the patches doing? Maybe my GP misunterstood that it should have been 12 hours between each patch, that would make sense, 12 hours, off at night, 12 hours again. She said no more than 12 hours, then a day of between, but she read it from the medical book and probably read it wrong

hollie impressed with the cake - have pictures?

I don't think there is any one answer re drugs. Just keep yourself as pain free as possible because that will enable you to move around and rehab. And rest is just as important, too. So back to rest, potter, rest.

Did you resolve your guest issues, frosty?

Yes I can confirm Christmas bed linen! I bought it because, after five years, I have everything else and I felt like I wasn't being Christmassy enough. Some was £14 from BHS/Asda, I did buy some £30 stuff for us and my DM and DF. MIL has turned her nose up as not expensive enough for her. Need to remember to cut the Asda label out of her Christmas PJs as well I also bought a really naff Santa toilet seat cover for the downstairs loo (£4!). So far she hasn't commented. I also decorated her room (DP's office) and she didn't comment on that either.

Made it to Edinburgh, flaked out in hotel bed, watched Strictly and abused the free wifi. Did a very quick walk this morning and came back, where I promptly had a nap for two hours. The train was painful but we mostly had a carriage to ourselves so I did lots of pacing. She is very sympathetic about my back and horrified at the NHS, keeps telling me I must go to Germany. She has also brought 1/4 of a pig with her. I am only slightly exaggerating. And enough chocolate for two years. More than in the picture. And is telling us off for having the temerity to buy our own - done before she sent her picture. I foresee many strategic naps in my future...

pavlov I am sorry you are suffering so much :( My DM gave me a mini salt/thermal pack that you can use like a hot water bottle. They are very easy to carry, much easier than a hot water bottle - I took it with me yesterday. You boil it to reset and I am going to experiment with boiling it in the kettle repeatedly to see if that works. Similar to this.

frosty Our friend who was driving the car and fractured two vertebrae was given a corset. He's a strapping 6'4" man's man. He was so unimpressed!

ally Pleased you are back on solids! Do take care of yourself. Would something like ratatouille slip down easily? I was going to suggest shepherd's pie before as it's quite mushy but I think mince might not be a good idea in case it catches in the stitches?

Yes I can confirm Christmas bed linen! I bought it because, after five years, I have everything else and I felt like I wasn't being Christmassy enough. Some was £14 from BHS/Asda, I did buy some £30 stuff for us and my DM and DF. MIL has turned her nose up as not expensive enough for her. Need to remember to cut the Asda label out of her Christmas PJs as well I also bought a really naff Santa toilet seat cover for the downstairs loo (£4!). So far she hasn't commented. I also decorated her room (DP's office) and she didn't comment on that either.

Made it to Edinburgh, flaked out in hotel bed, watched Strictly and abused the free wifi. Did a very quick walk this morning and came back, where I promptly had a nap for two hours. The train was painful but we mostly had a carriage to ourselves so I did lots of pacing. She is very sympathetic about my back and horrified at the NHS, keeps telling me I must go to Germany. She has also brought 1/4 of a pig with her. I am only slightly exaggerating. And enough chocolate for two years. More than in the picture. And is telling us off for having the temerity to buy our own - done before she sent her picture. I foresee many strategic naps in my future...

pavlov I am sorry you are suffering so much :( My DM gave me a mini salt/thermal pack that you can use like a hot water bottle. They are very easy to carry, much easier than a hot water bottle - I took it with me yesterday. You boil it to reset and I am going to experiment with boiling it in the kettle repeatedly to see if that works. Similar to this.

frosty Our friend who was driving the car and fractured two vertebrae was given a corset. He's a strapping 6'4" man's man. He was so unimpressed!

ally Pleased you are back on solids! Do take care of yourself. Would something like ratatouille slip down easily? I was going to suggest shepherd's pie before as it's quite mushy but I think mince might not be a good idea in case it catches in the stitches?

Matilda hmm re: guests not really. Said to DH we've effectively had people in the house helping for 6 weeks and whilst I'm not ungrateful I need to be alone now. I've sent my own parents to a hotel this week because I need to just have some peace. I'm completely overwhelmed, tired and emotional. I spent a large part of the morning crying with relief, sadness, and happiness. So our last agreement is that DH will ring his parents and say

• Is it possible for you to uncancel your original plans.
• We know you mean well but to cancel the party you were hosting without asking us makes us feel obliged to receive you for NYE
• Frankly frosty and I need some time alone with DD

He hasn't made the call yet, and the longer he leaves it, the more likely they'll end up here. And to be fair, he's been really great and had my parents here for 2 weeks so I think I'm just going to lie in my bed, on the sofa, go for little walks and focus on me. I'm trying to stay calm and put this in the 'unimportant' part of my brain. DH actually wouldn't mind them being here for a few days and doesn't like to confront them but the not discussing with us is the bit that bothers me most. I've asked him to be clear that this is not appreciated. And I'm trying not to say - have you called them yet every five minutes. Gah.

Tins napping is the way forward. I spent pretty much all of today napping when not eating, practicing walking or crying. But I am glad your MIL is sympathetic

Oh god mulledpavlov I hope you get a comfortable night's rest. A train journey sounds awful. Bollicks about the formation meds. I also obviously can't bend at all. I managed to squat down today, back straight, to reach a lower drawer but was then stuck hanging onto the counter as I don't have the muscle in my legs to push myself back up. DH came to haul me up from under the arms. Must remember I had surgery this week. Being able to walk a little does not equal all back to normal.

Very jealous of carols in St Martin's. Sounds really lovely.

*FORGOTTEN not formation. Sounds like your diazepam is line dancing with your codeine

Just to be clear, my in laws are really very nice people and I do enjoy being with them at mutually agreed and convenient times. Post surgery and emotional - not so much.

Thanks for the advice.

I gave up and went to see the GP on Thursday after dh had bullied me into making an appointment. I think he regrets this in some ways as she listed a few things I shouldn't be doing which included hoovering and ironing. . What's more I had dd2 with me (off school ill) as witness. I'm going to make the most of that. Dd2 also swears washing up was mentioned, but I don't actually remember that.

Apparently it is that it's in spasm, (well done Matilda) and they've given me strong ibroprofen and stomach protection (which rattles wierdly when I swallow the capsules!) and actually I'm feeling a lot better and not just down to being half doped up on pills.

apologies to all for bitter and twisted comments re drugs/NHS earlier - I need to get over that and am most grateful you all ignored me - no really I am

omg pavlov you are truly "made from girders" as we say here - can't believe you are out and about with spasm pain - I must be a right wuss

thanks tinsel we are the same page as already had shep pie - am poking real food in now (other side) as can't take any more mush - I need to eat real food for my mental health and then take drugs for the pain

results tomorrow so please include me in any prayers - sent off a donation to Cancer Research as insurance lol

Voila!

Sorry I'm not entirely up to date with everyone but Frosty glad you are home and I hope DH has made the phone call.
Matilda how did it go?
Ally definitely be thinking of you - already am and you can moan as much as you want!
Pavlov and Tins lie down - you are making me hurt in sympathy!
Deewee Glad you have some better drugs in time for Christmas but don't forget to keep going back to the GP if you need to. They can let you potter along in pain for years and years unless you keep going back.

frosty No one was doubting that :) There are times in life when you only want your DH/DP/Mum/DC (delete as applicable) and after a serious back op is certainly one of them! Yes, I was at how sympathetic she was as she isn't normally... I think partly it gives her licence to moan about how crap everything is in the UK (once, out of desperation, we took her into Tesco's so she could do this as it kept her entertained for an hour), also I think I am starting to look ill as I have lost weight and am pale - about half a stone in the last four weeks. Fortunately I was about a stone overweight to begin with so it's weight I can lose. I have mentioned it to the GP but they aren't bothered. As always.

ally My DF hung up on me a couple of days ago because he was so "fed up" with me being bitter and twisted about the NHS. I am finding that it's very difficult to maintain a positive outlook when something goes on for so long and has such an effect on your life. That's why I love this thread so much - we can all moan without being judged :) I also find (horrible though it sounds) that it helps having other people in the same boat - so many people IRL have asked me "well, can't you do this, can't you do that" that I was beginning to feel like the lack of action on my case was down to me somehow, rather than an inert system. This thread both demonstrates that it's not the case and arms us with information we can use to change it.

DeWee That's really positive, well done :) So glad you are feeling better already.

I had a nightmare last night reminiscent of The Ring (if you haven't seen it, don't) involving wells and people crawling out of them. Woke up in a panic at 5am and in a lot of pain with tingling down both legs and arms - I think the amitrip. has worn off. I think I will start taking it again. I didn't think it was doing any good so agreed with GP I could stop but the past day or so has been incredibly uncomfortable for tingling, I think I would rather sleep 12 hours and have some better quality of life.

May I ask, how do other people take their painkillers? GP told me 2x paracetemol and 2x ibuprofen spaced out then tramadol when needed on top. In practice I have to grit my teeth in the morning to get an hour between the two. Am I doing it wrong?

Ooh Holly I took so long typing I missed your cake, it's awesome! I promise I am still in bed. My plan for today is: get up, be driven to supermarket, stumble around supermarket, come home, have my friend and her crazy 3 year old over for a cup of tea. Play trains with 3 year old. Eat dinner. Go to bed. Not too bad!

Thanks berrie - cake is awesome too!

Well put tinsel - you do begin to feel you should have gotten over it so people can stop asking (as I sooo wish they would)

Much as this thread has reminded me of NHS times I'd rather forget it is blissful to have other people understand exactly what you are going through

tinsel - mornings are a struggle for me too at the minute so para first thing (not even out of bed) then first ibo soon after then try and space out better during the day (not always successful but then you have tramadol now for that as do I!) ... or anything else I can find tbh

Turns out the cake is not entirely...cooked
Oh well! There are worse things as we all know!

Morning ladies, not much time for chatter but reading, wincing and nodding to all comments. Tins, prioritise the tramadol and take up to four times a day plus the paracetamol. Take whether you are in pain or not. Yes to going back to the amitriptyline as it was both helping with nerve pain and sleep. The extreme sleepiness will wear off soon. Much better to keep the bastard pain under control than try to tame it when it's roaring.( Back to my angry lion analogy). And yes, I lost a lot of weight through feeling totally ill when my back first went. Tramadol is quite an appetite suppressant for some as well. Don't worry, we won't let you fade away.

Out for lunch but just want to reassure you all that Evil SIL LUFFFS me. She was staggering around, clutching me (ouch) and breathing fumes in my face, expressing her extreme affection for me < oddly she been a fucking bitch to me since we decided to eat Christmas lunch alone then see them in the evening> . Families

berrie and matilda

so glad I don't have a thing to do for Xmas or see any family (I don't have much left and OH's all live far, far away) .. just close the door and crank up the heating and (hopefully) stuff some nice food in

Angry lion? Did I miss this? What happened to the gorilla - was just getting used to him (would have to be a bloke I think eh?)

Feeling hugely anxious today. Hope no-one minds me moaning about my non painful situation. I struggled to sleep the past two nights which has not helped. Anyway I decided it was time to google agoraphobia since I am getting to the point where I concede that I might need some help. I was expecting to have to read around a bit since I assumed agoraphobia was more a fear of outside places but apparently not. I'm not sure having a label helps but I suppose it is comforting to read all your symptoms back and think it's not just me...it's an actual thing. It did say to cut out caffeine and alcoholwhich I haven't tried. I guess I'll go and talk to the GP next. Not sure what for since I don't want to have counselling or anti depressants again.
Sorry just needed to offload.

So, everyone on this thread is an absolute fool for not having popped to GP, got an MRI, been referred for treatment and made a total recovery? And now, of course, in training for The Marathon.

Come on, ladies!

Hollie, Defoe see your GP, it sounds very miserable. I don't know much anything about these matters but it might well respond to CBT, I would think. Maybe you can even access it online. Anyway, keep offloading here because I'm pretty sure that internalising your fears is a bad thing.

Ally, long before Mr ( yes, I fear it must be Mr) Gorilla was mentioned, I always imagined my pain to be an angry lion living in my house. Bad tempered beast requiring a lot of time and attention. So much better to keep him in a fair temper than have him roaring and biting. I will be thinking of you very much tomorrow. What time is your appointment? Hope they can take out your stitches and get you more comfortable. Good luck.xx

Matilda Thank you for drugs advice. GP left me with the impression that Tramadol was a last resort, ladder of painkillers etc. but I am desperate not to take anything stronger as I feel I am at the limit of what I can take without really not having much of a life. So will take paracetamol then Tramadol then the ibuprofen. at your SIL. I am most despondent that DP is enforcing the no-alcohol rule. Usually I need a few glasses with MIL around. Am relying on Tramadol instead! And some sneaky bucks fizz on Christmas Day.

ally Last Christmas was like that - just me & DP (and a hellacious drive south on Boxing Day to DParents, car was blown across the A1 if I dared go above 40mph), in PJs, very lazy and quiet. Perfect. We have already had a whispered convo in the hall about how we will be doing that again next year and my family isn't even here yet! D-Day is tomorrow whilst i'm having my MRI. Good luck for the stitches out!

Hollie I agree with everything Matilda just said. Plus, I love the idea of not-quite-cooked cake. My DM made one a few years ago and I ate it with a spoon. It was lovely. I have had some CBT for the crash and it has been very good, although everyone is different. My counselor has used the rewind technique. If you find the NHS lists are long it might be worth checking if your company has signed up with an Employee Assistance program. Mine has and that is how I accessed the counselling - it was very easy to do.

Lol Matilda marathon it is then!

Thanks guys for kind thoughts - appt at 3.30 other side of town - have kept some diazepam back as starting to panic a wee bit now. Also stupid but worrying about one bit which seems quite a deep hole and if he wants to re-stitch that bit Xmas is cancelled foodwise ..... can't face the straws/soup scenario again - I mean I know its not life-threatening (well not that part!) but still! I love my food which you might have guessed given I've already said I am a tubby (1 stone less now lol but not a diet I want to re-visit) and am forcing it in now even though it hurts.

Berrie wish I could help but don't know anything about this other than keep talking is always good advice. Sounds like counselling didn't help but that might be the counsellor? I mean we haven't all got the best GPs have we and they are similar? Maybe another go? I've had counselling and it was life changing so does depend on who you get.

Oh Holly Sorry, I didn't see that you had already been to a counselor. I agree with Ally that it is worth trying a second one. I went for some counseling after my DGM died six years ago as I was really struggling (horrible circs) but found it useless. The recent counselor however has been brilliant and really very useful. It seems like it's a case of finding someone that suits you.