**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

There's no need to feel bashful round here saveme, welcome aboard although of course I'm sorry you're having to join the party.

I'm impressed with you all getting organised for Christmas either by buying or not buying presents! I've only got my cards sorted - thanks mainly to DDs school doing the fund raising task of designing cards. As to presents I've got a long way to go and that's just with a small family.

Talkingh of cards and presents, an early happy birthday to you Elporto, o like your plans for celebrating. I'll be 47 on the 30th but as yet have no plans in mind. Having more than a glass of wine gives me the most horrendous acid reflux the day after so I don't think there will be a lot of alcohol involved!

Speedy, well done on the walking to hospital, hope your heart scan went ok.

Mrs so sorry to hear about your BIL, I hope he gets through all the treatment looked before and I think foo has probably summed it up right when it comes to not asking for presents.

Trice, hope you enjoyed your shopping trip today and buns, I hope you've been able to get a date through for your rads. There's still a chance that it could all be done by Christmas.

So last time I was on I was saying how much I loved taxol...... Hmmm well, the next day the pain kicked in and my legs and arms were just throbbing. Added to that the pain in my feet kept me awake for most of last week and it was so painful to walk when I got up in the morning. My fingertips have gone a bit numb as well so it will be interesting to see what they say when I go in for bloods and to see the team tomorrow. But the good thing is I didn't really feel partciularly sick. Yeah!! My eyelashes and eyebrows are starting to fall out now and I've developed loads of spots on my face. Whether it's the new chemo or down to hormones though I don't know.

I'm so pleased to hear that your 3rd FEC wasn't too bad Elporto, you must be changing to taxol now too?

Hi to anyone I've missed, hope you all have a good week

Welcome save me though sorry you have to be here. Ask us anything you like

Minty sorry about the side effects but at least you haven't felt sick, swings and roundabouts. I preferred fec to tax, not that I particularly liked either !

Sorry you have to join us saveme but welcome. This thread is certainly a lifeline.

Minty- sorry the SE kicked in. Make sure you tell your onc as they can reduce the dose to lessen them. I had a reduced dose for the last three and it still seemed to work. My skin wasn't great either.

Welcome saveme Sorry your here.

I too got on better with FEC than docetaxol. The latter I found exhausting, and i ad to get stronger painkillers from GP for aching bones. Think I had sore feet wth both. But to be honet i am atruggling to remember it now so this too will pass.

Don't suffer, there is so much medication to be had!

Thanks, all. It's early days for me so I don't even know what I don't know.

I'm trying to learn the language so I can understand posts. It's like I've been thrust into a club with its own language, but I'll hopefully catch up soon.

Save me I still don't understand it all don't worry. Have you got a treatment plan yet? We all felt a bit better once we knew what was going to happen. Lots of us had a long haul of treatment, ops, chemo, rads and then tamoxifen. I was off work for a year. It seems never ending at the time but we got through it and you will too

The plan is op and rads and prob chemo but we just need to make sure it hasn't spread first. That's what I'm finding hard, the waiting game. Personally, I'm all for getting cracking (patience has never been a virtue of mine).

Saveme, I agree that you are in the worst bit right now, waiting for results to find out what you are dealing with. Do you have a good breast care nurse who you can talk to and who can explain some of what is going on? Mine was a lifeline so I hope you have a good one too. There is a lot of lingo to get your head around at first, I also still don't understand all of it but as long as you can comprehend the bits that relate to you and your treatment that's the main thing. Everyone on here is travelling a slightly different path of treatment, but whatever you are up against and whatever your worries or fears, there will be someone here who has been through it and felt the same. You're not alone with this xx

Come in and make yourself comfortable Saveme. So sorry you have to be here. The members of this club have been through a lot and are happy to share our hard won experience. And if you want to rant about the unfairness of it all we will all chorus "Amen sister!".

I had a lovely shopping trip. I have a great new hoody from a brand called Brakeburn. It is red, cheerful and cosy. Big bag of stocking toys too.

Welcome saveme, again, sorry you find yourself here but hopefully you will find it a huge support. Ask anything, however trivial it may seem. As you're probably finding out breast cancer isn't just one thing. There are many 'varieties' of it and we have a range on here, plus ladies who have been diagnosed very recently and those who have been living with it, despite it, however you like to phrase it for many years. I would second making the most of your breast care nurse, if you have one. Mine is lovely. When do you expect to find out the full picture? I think we all understand about wanting to get started

If its surgery first you may find that rads don't start until after Christmas which means you could be feeling very fit and well for the festivities. Elporto went to Australia practically as soon as she got off the operating table, so much is possible.

Pleased you had a god day in York trice, anything red gets my vote.

Good day, sorry my keypad is paying up.

Playing up, I give in!!

I do have a lovely breast care nurse and I'll see her tonight at the local support group so I'll mention any worries. Generally I am ok, although it does hit me when I go to bed, I guess it's a combination of tiredness and having to get undressed and face the problem bits!

I assume that it's natural at this stage to assume the worst from any cough and twinge? I think in one evening last week I had diagnosed five different forms of cancer, which considering I'd missed BC for years shows a radical improvement in my diagnosis skills and is therefore utterly implausible. I hope . Is this par for the course?

I'll sorry to be joining the party and I'm sorry you are all here, but thanks for making me feel so welcome.

PS I do like the idea of Australia...!! It's good to know there may be a gap between when I'll feel fine (thinking of all the work and Christmas shopping I'd been putting off)!

"I assume that it's natural at this stage to assume the worst from any cough and twinge?"
I always mention these to my DH ... and he always has these worse, so I know it isn't cancer related!

I have total health paranoia. I am all over lumps at four in the morning when I can't sleep. I get a cough just thinking about the oncologist. My brain is very unhelpful sometimes. I have enough to contend with without psychosomatic illness on top!

I'm sorry you do it too but I am glad it's not just me! I think it's the run up to the MRI that has got me going, I'm fine about the op to remove the lump that we know about. I guess that's lucky, I met a lady at the support group who is terrified of her op, which is a double mastectomy, so she keeps putting it off. I really wanted to help but had no idea what to say to her.

I don't allow myself to think in the night, I fall asleep listening to a podcast which plays all night and if I wake I tune in to it again. It works for me, I started doing it a few years when DH was made redundant and I was very worried. I listen to talking though not music.

Are you expecting a lumpectomy saveme? That's what I had.

I've got another lump which feels like the enlarged lymph node I had a couple of months ago, outer edge of my armpit towards my back. I don't know if its the same one. Do I need to speak to someone about this?

Saveme- I felt exactly the same before my ct scan; the pain in my hip got worse and I had chest pains. I think our brains go into overdrive. When is your scan or have you had it? The waiting bit is the worst.

Mrs- I know I would go and speak to someone about it; it is probably the same as before.

mrs Yes always get these things looked at .. for your peace of mind. Probably nothing but nice to hear that.

Run ups to CT and MRI scans are always a bit stressful.

Oh and saveme try not to worry if things changes during treatment. My treatment plan changed a couple of times as new things were discovered.

Bugger, I know you're right but grrr!

Awaiting scan results is always stressful. Last week I had a CT scan and got myself quite worked up. I read about the Casualty actress and that she had seizures because of spread to brain and was convinced I would have a seizure whilst driving.
Got to see consultant. Had to remind him of scan. He took a cursory look at the results, confirmed there was no further spread and my mood instantly changed.

You know you need to get checked out mrs..... Hopefully it will be the same situation as before.

Saveme, hang on in there, as others have said once you have your treatment plan things will feel a lot better and once you've got all the extra tests out the way, even better still.

So I saw my oncologist yesterday and she wants to drop the dose of taxol for the last 3 cycles. She wasn't too bothered about the pain I'd been in but was quite concerned that nearly two weeks on I still had numb/stingy fingers and toes. She said it looked like I had had a strong reaction to the drug and that she didn't want the tenderness to end up being permanent.

I wasnt too keen at first on dropping the dose as my tumour seems to have been pretty aggressive but she felt that as I'd had a good response to the first 5 cycles (tumour is now 1cmx1cm roughly) and I'm now on herceptin that it wouldn't be a problem. I'm also working on the fact that that I've still got surgery to come so if the tumour doesn't shrink any more it won't be the end of the world.

Elporto, I think it's your birthday today? Hope you've had a lovely pampered day :)

Foo I think you offered to help out with some financial advice, I'll PM you later if I can

I've called my breast care nurse and she's going to try to get me in on Friday for a scan and possible biopsy. I really didn't want to hear those words, she did say it would be extremely unusual for it to progress this way, but she also said people's lymph nodes don't tend to swell up like mine. Not quite sure how to feel and I need to tell DH now.

Mrsrhod I'm sorry you've got more uncertainty now but hopefully it will turn out to be nothing, I hope you've told dh and that he was supportive

Minty quite a few people on here have had their doses lowered, I understand the worry but they wouldn't do it if they really thought you needed the higher dose