Back Pain and Internet Shopping. Thread Number 5.

[PavlovtheCat]

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn.

And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us.

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly, have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

You will see just how much we do talk if you read our previous threads (where you may glean lots of answers about pain relief, surgery etc, best winter boots etc):
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2049637-Back-Again-Back-Pain-Support-Thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2023274-More-Terrible-Back-Stories

someone posted this a while ago about theories of pain and how our body processes and learns about pain. I was reminded about it when you mentioned screaming when the doc touched your leg following a traumatic break as a child ins

magso I am laying in bed, after not a huge amount of major stuff, at work, some walking from office to another office (5 mins there and same back again), and the about 1pm or so, pain suddenly increased in back, and in leg, leg went cold and weak, foot went fuzzy and numbness came and went/came and went, and numbness in buttocks and 'girlie bits'. bit of a panic, so drove to school for the children, children came out via reception straight to car which I parked in their disabled space, then straight home to bed, instead of to swimming lessons. i feel better now I am in bed, but anxious about the cutting in not being done, DH can't do it, lots to do.

berrie I agree, i think there are some red flags which I am going 'lalalala' to, but they are not monumental 'bamn!' flags, so i am sort of wondering if I am just being dramatic. I do think things have progressed negatively and more rapidly over the last few months, and in particular over the last few weeks since an epic relapse after shopping. BUT. I don't really know what to do about it. DH doesn't really understand what it can mean 'it could be the spinal cord being touched, but it probably isn't, it's probably just the nerve being touched' he doesn't get that a) the nerve being touched it not a great thing at all and b) that 'probably isn't' is right, but slim likelihood of it being something means slim chance of irreparable damage, and it's last bit that worries me. Also, what do I want to happen? So, i go to hospital, they do an MRI and it confirms things are now worse - then what? I only have one month to go before surgery, but unfortunately, it's a month of christmas, new kitchen and it's going to be almost impossible to do nothing, to simply stop. And I don't want surgery now. No way, not unless it's in London.

lost that's what I need, something to replace the things that I used to do, that has some meaning and feeling of worth. I have my job, but I don't feel as productive there as I used to. The decorating, I really enjoy it, always have, not necessarily great at it, but it's really satisfying. Unfortunately, the same as everything else I love to do, highly energetic. I wonder if some of my 'manic' feeling is pent up frustration at being almost at a standstill for a long time now, I have no outlet.

matilda two balls hope you are able to enjoy it, your outfit sounds lovely.

ins yey for MRI! I hope they are a nicer than your recent x-ray experience, I have had 4 or so, and each time they have been lovely, understanding of mobility and pain issues, and to a greater or lesser degree helpful, one or two have helped me on and off the bed. I hope you get that type of experience.

That's really interesting Matilda. What I need to know is how to trick my brain into not noticing pain! I guess it just shows how complex we (and other living things) all are.

magso* I am not sure I can share your opinion of anything rat like being cute, but the singing group sounds lovely. I met another person with a bad back today at a safeguarding meeting, a head teacher who was now having the payback from rugby injuries when he was younger, and we were comparing symptoms and what things are bad for us! He said he sometimes walks forward and to one side, and when it goes it goes badly, I said 'sounds like the disc!' feeling very knowledgable

What kind of things do you do to curb the desire to be highly energetic? You say you get it wrong sometimes, but that you have take huge steps to slow down. Would be useful to find what things people do to get their fulfilment, we can make a list for those who need inspiration!

So losty bakes amazing bread, using traditional methods. what else?

magso I think that's part of mindfulness isn't it, like meditation - instead of trying to ignore the pain, notice it, acknowledge it, and 'accept' it's there, just being there, rather than trying to stop it, or hide it, or ignore it, and then move onto something else. I tried this when my back was really really bad and all I could do was lay flat and be with my pain. I have not been able to do it since, but it did sort of help. I sort of said 'hello' to the pain, was like 'ok, so you are staying yeah? you are part of me, not a nice part of me, but neither is my grey hair or my crooked teeth, let's just get along, you are only a feeling'. I think it calmed me down from the horrendous pain but not mastered it for normal every day living.

I've written thoughtful considered posts 3 times and lost internet on phone each time I was ready to post. So here's the stupid bit - my loo seat extender, meaning I don't have to strain legs and back has arrived. It is marvellous. Although the amazon reviews saying it was really handy for business trips and holidays must have been piss takes as it increases height by 15cm. It's not a slip-in-handbag bit of kit

Pavlov sorry to read about panic and pain today -glad managed to make it home and into bed. It's been very interesting reading about the type of people you are. I hate asking for help from anyone except DH. Being bed ridden is really not working for me. My mum's coming next week. Thank goodness. MIL is ace but focuses naturally on taking DD off me so I can rest. Sometimes I'd rather have a hot water bottle, and DD near me.

Pavlov I think if it were me I would ring you consultant's secretary and say that you are generally deteriorating and your lady bits are numb - should you be worried? He might say "My gosh! I must have you in tomorrow - cancel the golf!" I know you feel it is a bad time but permanent loss of bowel and bladder function aint great either. I was no worse mobility wise post surgery than before TBH. My lady bits went numb post surgery...no idea how that helps diagnose the mysteries of your situation though.
Matilda I am trying to think of something for the list...Is it the Ball tonight? (excited)
Freedom I have never heard of such a thing but some of my best yelps are done lowering to the loo.
Magso I keep telling myself - a hamster is for 2 years if you are lucky not just for Christmas. Your mess story has truly helped!
Ins what a great Christmas present! A scan! Hopefully the staff will be feeling demob happy by then!
Have to go a child has arrived for his porridge...

berrie did your lady bits stay numb post surgery or did it return to normal? or normal ish. My numbness has subsided somewhat this morning, just some tingling, but my back is solid as a rock and I can't stand, stinging through the back and legs. I was determined to get to work but, I just can't. It's not even work that I can't face, well, 5 hours of trying to pretend I have no pain and concentrating on my work etc fills me with dread but I can get through it - what I am not able to face it the getting there; getting washed and dressed, putting my boots on, leaving the house, sitting in the car, walking into work. It's going to take me ages, I just can't do it.

So, I have drunk coffee, attempted to participate in the daily morning meltdowns (DS wanted to wear his PJs to school for mufti day, DH refused), manhandled DS into his trousers, socks and shoes while he pretended to be an airplane, did DDs hair while she wiggled and complained I was pulling on her 'baby bits' as we call them (those tiny bits at the back of the neck) because she has swimming this morning then choir service in church this afternoon, so I did french plait so it stays neat through swimming. And, made more coffee, taken painkillers on an empty stomach as I can't bear food right now and gone back to bed while DH does school run.

It's not even like Im gonna be able to help with the painting. DH is worried the grey is too dark, but that'll teach him for not wanting yet more tester pots to find the right colour and saying 'oh charcoal grey, that's nice, we'll have that' 'you sure you don't want a tester to try first, as this grey is a bit lighter?' 'nope, I am sick of white, I just want to get it on the wall now'. I have told him that, since he outright vetoed my Farrow and Ball orange on the basis it was going to cost £100 for one wall, he can't now change the grey, as this will cost an additional £50 at least I quite like it actually, this new grey, but it is dark. Luckily we have a shit ton of white to counter it. Hope the now green (yep, orange to green!) feature wall will take the darkness.

matilda hope you are able to rest up before this evening's shenanigans.

matilda just realised you went out last night for your first Ball. Come and tell us all about it as soon as you wake up. I hope you are not suffering too much from it.

I have so much to do in our house. We are not recovered from kitchen, it's not yet finished, floor in on monday, but it's usable. we need the larder done before we can put things away properly and I am so surprised at how difficult life is without a simple kitchen table! The house is a mess, I can't see how the xmas decs will be put up this weekend, I am very tempted to just chuck everything lying on the floor out.

The reality is, I am wondering if I should just say bollox to any tidying, organising, sorting of christmas things and spend time making cards with the children, going out for christmas hot chocolate, seeing santa etc, rather than trying to make this place into a beautiful christmas paradise. The children won't mind a really messy house for one christmas will they? (I am not thinking I would need to do this stuff today, I am doing fuck all today), but Christmas is a time when my back is particularly bad and I wonder if it's because I try to do too much to get it all lovely.

Bollox to cleaning tidying organizing sounds eminently sensible to me pavlov

How was the ball Matilda?

They did return to normal. It was weird...one half of my bits and a top bit of inner thigh on the same side. I really can't remember how long it took to wear off but it was a while.
I am glad that you are not in work today and are going to have a rest. It is really hard with little ones - I remember it well. I hope DH gets used to the grey so long as you like it it doesn't matter it sounds like it's going to be really nice!
We put in the planning application yesterday Apparently it will take 8 weeks. I am full of dread that we will actually go ahead and the next year will be A NIGHTMARE!
DH thinks I am obsessed. Every so often, I go in the kitchen and smell Eau de Rat. He can't smell it at all. I have checked Rat Cam and still no action. I can only think that the little sod has a nest on the other side of the chicken wire in the hole and every so often the smell wafts in either that or he has his bottom up against the wire and is deliberately farting through I would dig him out but what if I put a spade through him or he jumped out at me? I think DH has lost interest in helping me and he wasn't entirely proactive before...

Freedom is right Pavlov (hard stare)

Glad the numbness has subsided a bit, Pavlov, & well done for not going to work! It does sound like you've been doing too much but I kind of know what it's like when you really get the bit between your teeth & want to crack on with a project.

I'm not generally manic at all - a lazy arse potterer, in fact, who just walks around a lot! But I can get obsessive about finishing things I've started, even when I know I need to stop. It's so long since we decorated, though, & our house is looking a bit shit. The cat loves scratching paint off the walls which doesn't help. DH & I are both useless at DIY, which is really unfortunate, as it means we have to spend loads on getting other people to do jobs. One of us should definitely have married someone a bit handier.

I've still got the shitty left side pain - bum, thigh, a bit of lower leg tingling, & still feel frustrated that this happened after I saw the consultant & told him I hardly had any below-the-knee symptoms any more. Co-codamol isn't touching the pain in the bum. Have actually used an ice pack, which I almost never do, as at least it numbs the sensation. Don't want to go back on the nerve drugs, as I'm hoping this will just pass again. If any more disc has prolapsed, I know it can't be much because there really is hardly any nucleus left in that disc. It's just a flat, black line on MRI. So I guess that means it's never going to compress anything to a dangerous degree? Still fucking painful though.

Hope the ball went well, matilda!

Now I am imagining Matilda hair tousled, mascara smudged lazily waking up in bed, wedged boots scattered on the floor, dress slung over a chair for tonight

loon I have read that when discs dry to the point of almost nothingness, nerve endings can grow into the disc space and cause pain as the vertebrae rub on them. I will try to find the research I had read about it. Also, the inflammation in the area due to the disc dehydrating and the endplates not working properly (they supply blood and nutrients to the disc and can't do that because the disc is no longer attached to it) mean there may be inflammation there and that will also cause pain. And, even if the nerves are not trapped, they are likely to be irritated by the inflammatory chemicals which are in themselves toxic, especially when present for a long time, and so the nerves may be inflamed and will hurt.

Not that it helps to manage the pain one little bit.

and that's exactly right loon I need to get the project finished. So many people I know have half finished kitchens. I don't want that. It's cost us a lot of money, and I don't want to have spent a lot of money on something that is not completed. If I can get myself into a fit space this afternoon I will do the edging, and that's it, DH can do the rest no problem, he's done an epic job on the room so far.

Why oh why do I do this to myself? I'm guessing some of you do this too ... Pavlov for sure I think?

This is my day off so list of things to do. Before food shopping, which is always a struggle, a quick visit to a distant shopping centre to get some stuff from Thorntons. They didn't have what I wanted but were expecting a delivery so I went for a coffee and came back and waited ... and waited ... and waited (the guy was there unloading but no sign of what I wanted). Of course waiting so long I wasn't going to give up but my back got sorer and sorer and I said I couldn't wait much longer as painful to stand so long so they offered me a chair and I REFUSED as I don't like to look disabled. What is wrong with me? I stubbornly waited in agony and finally got what I wanted (they'd better be good!) and hardly had the energy to get back to the car. Of course back home now with no food shopping and only boxes of chocolates for the tea!

I am my own worst enemy and a pillock to boot bet I'm not alone though

Hopefully drugs will kick in and I will go to Asda later ... or click and OH collect but then that makes me feel feeble too arrgghhhh!

I'd love to go to a ball, well if I could be promised comfy seats somewhere not too loud (fussy much?) I love seeing men all dressed up in dinner jackets, it's almost impossible to not look handsome in one. Hope you had an amazing, not too painful, time Matilda.

allypally I totally get what you are saying, I spend a LOT of time watching my sporty boys play football (even more now DS3 has been asked to train at a development centre for a premier league club SQUEEEE!) and people always say, take a chair Losty or sit in the car, I've taken my crutches once after my injections because there was no other way but I HATE it, I hate being different and noticed and giving in to being disabled urgh!

Pavlov you do make me laugh, I don't even know what cutting in is . I love the idea of bright orange in your kitchen, silly DH. I have an entire wall and round the corner bit of deep dusty pink glass (like a splash back that got above itself) and I love it. The world needs a bit of colour IMHO.

Anyway, sore, so so SO painful the last few days. My SI joints and t-spine are evil, I can hardly do anything. Makes me so cross and grumpy. Got my new rheumatologist next week so I suppose it's helpful to not be doing really well but it's awful and miserable making. I will ask about Humira even though it scares the hell out of me, the side effects and possible complications are a tad extreme for my liking but my hands are getting so swollen and the joints so sore I can't have them getting damaged as well, or my shoulders and wrists and feet and knees. Or my kidneys, or lungs. Oh it's a joyous disease this one .

ally, get your groceries delivered! Doing the big food shop is no fun even without a back problem. No way would I do it now. Yes, there are some stupid substitutions & so on, but picking up bits & pieces later is a hell of a lot easier than trying to do the whole thing. Bollocks to Click & collect. You want a nice man in a van to bring your shopping in.

Loon is completely right, I have a lovely man come from Tesco and he even puts the boxes on the table so I don't have to bend down. I love my Tesco deliveries, just think of all the extra movements you are avoiding, in and out of the car twice, pushing, reaching, bending, lifting bags into the car and out of the car and carrying them into the house. Just think of all the fab things you could use those movements for that don't involve supermarkets!

I already get most stuff delivered but still go for odds and ends ... my Asda guy puts it all on the floor by the door and I can only do a few trips to the back cupboard then OH has to take over. Even worse now with no bags. I wish I had your delivery guy lost. On the plus side OH has offered to pick something up for tea on the way home. I vote for a fish supper.

You hit the nail on the head lost - I don't like to be noticed ... no surprise parties for me thanks ... I hate to be the centre of attention ... like to be invisible (which mostly am as no-one looks at you when you get older phew!)

Ladies, I made it through Ball no1. It was quite fun, always feel these events would be miles more fun if you were with friends rather than business clients etc. but very nice. Too long sitting through long dull speeches. I took a preloaded syringe of oromorph to slyly squirt into my mouth when it all got too much

Grr still struggling hugely with typing on here. Please ask the nice tech people to solve, mumsnet < pleads>

Sorry so many are struggling. Losty, are the patches not helpin so much now?

Pavlov, glad you are resting < you are resting, aren't you?>. A tip re expensive pain is to choose the posh colour then get it scanned and mixed up in Dulux. It is almost identical. Decorators hate F&B etc and think it's poor quality though the colours are nicer. Another Top Tip, F&B purchased at Homebase etc is not the same as the 'same' paint bought from a trade shop. Lesser quality. I have 'done' a lot of decorating and made some expensive mistakes .

I am having a quiet day. Back not as bad as expected but that could come tomorrow just in time for Ball no 2. And no, I did not wake up with clothing flung amok. Apparently I even hung my dress up .
Longing for finished kitchen, another week at lease until work top goes in. At least we have fridge, oven and some semblance of a kitchen' though.

Hurrah for the Belle of the Ball! It'll soon be time to throw your glad rags back on!