Back Pain and Internet Shopping. Thread Number 5.

[PavlovtheCat]

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn.

And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us.

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly, have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a and say hello

You will see just how much we do talk if you read our previous threads (where you may glean lots of answers about pain relief, surgery etc, best winter boots etc):
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2049637-Back-Again-Back-Pain-Support-Thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2023274-More-Terrible-Back-Stories

Agree with Matilda. We had the old Citroen Picasso (c4 predecessor) and it was a comfortable workhorse. I like heated seats, so that would be high up my wish list too. I never understood the heated seat till my back played up. The French know how to make comfortable car seat s, well cars in general. I have no experience of the ford.
Hope your appointment goes well and you get a comfortable night and better tomorrow Tinsel.
I had second thoughts about sinus surgery last year even though it is considered a very successful surgery, so it must be even harder for back surgery. It sort of helped to feel I had tried all the alternatives.

frosty oh the play was just magical. It was very well rehearsed, the children were all so confident and happy, the foundation class is a good, well-bonded group who performed so well together, all of them. DS is just 5, but some of them are still only 4, and you would never have known it was a dress rehearsal, having never performed a play in front of a lot of people before. He had 3 lines, said them beautifully, with confidence, and huge smile on his face. I just imagined at the end when he was allowed to come for a hug, as he ran up to us, jumped on daddy's lap for that there are going to be so many more proud moments like this as he grows up.

The children all stood for photos at the end, in a group, like professionals

matilda oh that's a sad nativity about the loss of dunblane children a friend of mine is from there, and lived there at the time, lost friends. It's scarred him forever, and is a big reason he is here, not there as he couldn't live with the memories any more.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack. You lot are bloody wonderful. You were all right. The drugs don't like each other but can be taken together. I cried. A lot. And I borrowed a sick bowl due to retching from pain. GP felt very sorry for me but said he couldn't interfere as I was already being treated and that I should have just gone to A&E when we arrived back in the UK. I said - between tears - that I didn't want to be one of those people and he said people go in for sore throats so he thinks a car crash in what would have been last week (at the time) would have been fine. Bitter live and learn there.

He wrote me a prescription for 100 tramadol instead of the 30 I have been given previously. All those £8.05 prescription charges I've been paying every week!

DP has also been wonderful. He is under huge deadline pressure at work and at one point I tried to get to go home so he could work and he just laughed. He's just come in with a new hot water bottle and a cup of chamomile tea. I will explain to my boss and dial in to as many meetings as possible tomorrow. I need a good night's sleep.

Oh and also, because I have been gritting my teeth, taking loads of tramadol and going to work, that is why I have been pushed down the list. Which is probably the right thing - for example freedom and pavlov from what I have read of your stories you are clearly in the brackets above me (as are most of you actually) - but it is incredibly frustrating when I feel I'm doing the 'right' thing for no reward.

I'm going to have a looong sleep now and reply properly to everybody's news tomorrow. Sorry for being self-centred tonight. pavlov, your Nativity does sound lovely, it put a smile on my face :)

Ah mulled Pavlov, That's brought back memories for me too, of ds first nativity (10 years ago) Because of his learning disability (almost nonverbal at the time) he only had to hand over a present( wise man) but he did it so well then turned and smiled at me at the very back as if to say 'I did it' .(how they managed to persuade him not to tear the box open I'll never know!) - so much work goes into infant plays. treasured memories. Is he your eldest Pavlov?

Sleep tight Tinsel! Glad you got some pain relief sorted!

Ins, I am so relieved for you. For once I feel useful. It is incredibly hard to feel of any use when you don't work.( especially after a career like mine which ended so sadly).

Sleep well and learn our lessons. Sometimes you battle on, sometimes that's not the right thing to do. Doctors do not always get it right.

Night night.xx

Matilda you are incredibly useful!

tins so glad you saw another doctor for second opinion. I was ever so worried that you were going to be left in a horrible state withdrawing from a medicine that you need badly for pain relief. RE work, I did that for a long long time, I plodded along, I was in work literally unable to stand straight, I walked almost horizontally to the amusement of my colleagues, the one day, i just could not to it any more, burst into tears, sent home, didn't return for 6 weeks. In that time I tried 'amy' (easier to type than long name) and spent time getting my pain under control. If you need a bit of time off work again, to get used to these new meds, take it. Work will have to understand, and you have lots more rights and protections with a disability. I do understand the need to keep on normally though, especially with your career at stake. I am still in that position, trying to find the balance between looking after my clients, and doing my job properly and keeping it, and making sure my health is properly taken care of. my own GP thinks I might not be able to sustain work long term, but he said that a while ago and I am still there and they are really supportive as I am good at my job and it's quite hard to fire a civil servant and it sounds like you are really sought after in your job so they won't get rid of you easily, especially if they know how hard you are trying to get well again.

I am so intrigued about what you do now

and remember, this is a 'no competition' thread. There is no 'you have it worse than me' here. We all suffer from chronic pain, the levels we each have it changes from time to time, and the levels of support we need and can give also changes, but we are here with our common ground, and understanding, wherever we are in our management of our own personal health issues to everyone here

so so pleased you got some proper care ins.it shouldn't be this hard.

mulled for god sake woman get at least a semi automatic.we changed both cars to automatic last year and it was such a relief

happy new car day Matilda.

I'm at home second day in a row with sick child.why do they never get sick at the same time??? watches annual leave trickle away

shall I just change my name to 'mulledpavlov'? that has a nice, natural ring to it doesn't it, thanks to you lovely ladies.

You are all so gonna want me to go back to work. All this time means I am talking non-stop

I still can't walk far. I am straight when I wake up, surprisingly, so maybe not the disc 'gone' again. But, literally as soon as I start moving, the pain increases substantially, and is definitely linked with moving about. With my disc prob, I found walking eased it a little if I could get past the initial pain barrier.

I am very worried about London surgery now. I am gonna need to leave my little ones and we have not sorted that out yet. Either DH stays here, or someone comes to look after our littleys for two or three nights. We have no family to ask, so it will be my best friend (nurse) she did offer to try and get time off, but I didn't push that, so don't know if it's too late, and it's well cheeky expecting her to take annual leave when she has a family of her own to think about.

oh no denial. that's not great. Are you able to take any of the time off as 'special leave'? We can do that if the sickness goes on for more than a couple of days, my old boss would do 50/50 annual leave and special leave. I have not needed it with this boss, but I think it's employer policy, although might also be 'boss interpretation' as she was great at stuff like that.

I hope little one gets better soon - is it this horrible coughing bug that's going around?

freedom Yes, an arschloch! (Although that word now always makes me think of the Lauda film Rush!) Good luck on Friday - can you get your Mum to write the questions down or can you? I always find that my Mum thinks of 101 things that I haven't. I carry a little notebook now with me everywhere that I record my medication and other concerns in. I find it useful.

pavlov I'm sure it's not too late to call your friend. And don't feel guilty - I have used annual leave to look after friends' children (twice) and I would do it again in a heartbeat because I love my friends and their children. Clearly your friend feels the same :) Thank you for the reminder about the competition thing... I needed that. In between retching and crying last night I was saying "But I must go into work! It's secret santa, end of year meeting, I'd be letting people down." And DP was all, in his very blunt German way, "Don't be such a fucking idiot." Love that man. Time to stop being a martyr pavlov, you are right. I have already burst into tears once on my boss (initially I went back full time). I find it frustrating that doctors don't offer advice... they ask me what I want and tell me to do what I feel capable of, but that just makes me overwork as I think they must mean I am capable of more. Boss will be calling me at 12pm. He (my whole team - I had to call someone to do my Secret Santa stuff for me) are very concerned at how the doctors are treating me.

I am also thrilled about your new car, I love shopping! Agree an automatic might be easier, especially after you get back on your feet but are still in recovery phase following surgery. If it had heated seats, that sounds amazing - would also be good for the beach if you get cold, you can just pop in the car to warm up. As far as Ford goes, my Dad used to sell them so I think he indoctrinated me, but what he always said on the pluses of Fords are: they are easy to repair, easy under the bonnet to work out what's what (but that was 20 years ago - all cars might be easy now) and they are also cheap to repair. DP would say that's because they are shoddy non-German cars and break a lot! Between a Citroen and a Ford I would choose Ford for brand quality (but again, I have been indoctrinated!). If you do a test drive, test the brakes - I have found that some Fords brake much more softly than other manufacturers (we have a VW - what else for a German?! - and they drive very differently).

Matilda I agree with magic (and thanks magic, I managed to get some sleep), you are incredibly useful! Frankly I think being on this thread and dispensing advice and support is a job in itself - anyone who contributes to that is filling the massive void that our health service is leaving (in whatever country). Also your recommendation for a solicitor worked - I am waiting for them to call me back and they have agreed to take it on No Win No Fee. The only quibble I have is how it works for my friend who was driving so I need to clear that up before agreeing to proceed.

denial How old is DC? I ask as I went to look up my company's maternity policy a few months back and found out (wouldn't have known if I hadn't been read the small print) that we get four weeks unpaid 'parental leave' every year until the child is five. Could your company have a similar policy? It's unpaid but at least you would still have A/L left.

Update from me - it's snowing! A very little but it made me and DP very happy. I slept badly, about six hours but I think that's because I was so wrung out from yesterday. We were even short on change for the car park and went to ask a porter whether we could get our ticket validated - he gave us the 30p from his own pocket and I burst into tears I wish I had got his name so I could take in some chocolates or his 30p back. Honestly, my colleagues wouldn't recognise me - I am absolute hard-as-nails at work. I was going to ring and complain to the practice manager as the hospital GP said the same thing as the physiotherapist and another GP a few weeks ago - that I was put on the 'general back pain' path rather than anyone thinking outside the box and recognising that I was in a car crash so it might be something different. However DP pointed out that might not be useful so I have called the hospital instead and left a message for the physio to call me back.

Mulledpavlov it's just so I remember it's you that I call you that. Sorry you haven't got family to ask. What would you advise yourself? I'm very worried at the prospect of leaving DD for surgery. But I'm trying to tell myself - Accept help, you'd give it if things were the other way round, back in the day kids were raised by a community not just their mum and DD will be fine. It's not working very wellbut I'm trying to let go of my anxiety about it as that won't help me recover or prepare for surgery.

TInsel thank goodness fir the drugs correction. Look after you.

Matilda you and others on this thread have spurred me to demand medicine and treatment and help I need. And reassured me enormously. My physical world has become very small over the last month. This thread had kept me sane.

mulledpavlov you can do this.In a way you are doing it for the children long term. I'll come visit you if it were me I would have no hesitation to ask friends to mind the kids they will say no if doesn't suit. I would mentally prep to maybe decide whether you feel you will need dh more before or after surgery and let him stay with kids until absolutely necessary maybe? personally before medical things I like to be alone and I get grumpy with people fretting.

in other news I'm broken first time since July I have had severe back pain and I'm getting very sorry for myself.No idea what's caused it and very worried magic elixir had ceased to work.

ins ds is five and dd seven.I work in local government so generous leave allowance but I have always needed some unpaid parental leave every year but now he is five that's not available hence extra fretting about leave this year.the fact that I'm in pain and probably should have taken sick leave is just making me grumpier. but with 22days sick leave already in last twelve months I will limp to the finish line next week if it kills me

I need a hopeful name change

Damn it. Neuro surgeon surgery just rang to ask if I want surgery on Tuesday or not so they can plan. What troubles me is they are saying Look until we see the disc, we cannot tell if it will end up as shaving the disc a bit away from nerve, removing a bit of bone to get to it, removing whole disc and fusion. (Sorry not using proper vocab - can't spell them) They are also telling me that I can walk pain free (in the leg) the same day. I can expect to have back pain for four weeks at the operation point. But must walk every day afterwards. They want a decision tomorrow- Thursday 11th, so they can get ne to hospital and prepped Monday 15th. I'd be released on following Saturday. But my second consultation is Friday 12th.

I agree with Frosty and TInsel that Matilda, Pavlov and several others are providing much needed support and supplementary advice and TLC born from first hand experience. Frankly I would not have insisted on referral without you.

Second opinion at the spinal specialist hospital is on Friday.

Are there any financial side affects to just saying yes (and then cancelling friday if required). I think that’s what I would do. Twirls new name around

freedom Can you say yes, so they start preparing, but then back out if the second opinion says something else? It is perfectly valid to want and need a second opinion for something so major! They will have a waiting list, I imagine, so even if you back out (pun not intended!) I am sure someone else can take your spot. Hospitals are open 24/7 so there will be someone there to take your call on Saturday or Sunday as well. Could you also use a language barrier argument to your advantage (DP and I sometimes do this depending on the country) and argue that as everything is taking place in a second language you are seeking further advice on Friday to make sure you have understood everything properly?

Ultimately if you need the surgery then you need it - if you cancel Tuesday it will be able to happen on another day.

Denial How about a Christmassy DasherandPrancer? Am trying to think of a cheerful one that bears some link to the original and am stumped.

Oh dear Frosty...which way are you leaning?
I have to say it took me a good year to recover form my surgery but perhaps that is because it had been going on so long.
Can't remember which one of you it was don't know who anyone is anymore anyway but I got a slip on heated seat for my car last year (about £11 on Amazon) It plugs into the cigarette lighter but you need to make sure that your cigarette lighter goes off with the ignition or else you might leave it on and flatten the battery. I should say it has just stopped working but it was great!
I sometimes wonder if I should be on here as a lesser sufferer (I know - no competition) but then we talk about buying cars with high driving positions and I feel right at home! I had a Renault Scenic to start with which had fab seats but was a very poor quality car. We looked at that Ford but were advised against it by our mechanic - he said Fords nowadays are only built to last 10 years and since we wouldn't be buying new we decided against it. I've got a Nissan Almira Tino now which has that high up seat I need but it's not the big family car you're looking for. DH has a VW Estate and I am nervous about the journey on Friday but it has megawatt heated seats so I should be OK!

Today I am using the extremely useful matilda potter and rest repeat method Tm

festive Much better than my rubbish attempt!