sitting in the doctors and panicking :-(

[VelmaD]

Sitting in a two hour wait to see a doctor. No kids today, no work, hence coming and not waiting to try and get my gp this week.

I am shitting it.

Boyfriend and I have been together since last summer. All very happy and healthy etc

Spent last weekend together. Lots of sex. Oral and penetrative. we have a lot of oral sex tbh.

I got sore (not unusual tbh) but by yesterday was still bad. Got thrush treatment. Nothing has changed.

Only I now have a sore patch which has split by my perinium (sp?) and two or three blister spots.

I am crapping my pants. Google is not my friend.

Two hour wait is not helping.

He is also out of the country till next week with bad signal (though have text a couple of bits)

I've caught something haven't I? But neither of us have any visible symptoms of anything, and we have been careful with past partners etc.

ah man, it is taking all of my effort not to cry in the waiting room or walk out. Been half hour, only ninety minutes to go. Or walk out. :-(

Tbh id go through the hassle of aciclover for 24 hours less!

How long does it tend to take for sores to dry right out and heal? They're the annoying uncomfortable bit now. They're almost like your knee when you were a kid and scraped it? That thin layer of greenie brown stuff before the scab?

Im hoping it hsv if either for sure snarg as everything we have read suggests same as what you've said - less likely future attacks etc.

Cinema today so have saved my morning painkillers and delayed them a couple of hours so they dont wear off halfway through.

Hi Velma, I'm a regular but I've name-changed for this, since it's such a sensitive issue. I want to offer you some reassurance... :)

More than 25 years ago, I had an 'infection' or 'episode' that sounds very much like yours. I had a sudden outbreak of extremely painful sores - I don't think anyone who hasn't had them can imagine the excruciating pain: definitely worse than childbirth, from such tiny areas! I wasn't with a regular boyfriend: I'd had a few dates, and then sex, with a merchant seaman who reacted like a total bastard when I told him, and I assumed the worst...

I was tested for herpes and although the swabs came back negative, the doctor said that was what it was. She prescribed acyclovir and left me to it.

I embarked on life as a single woman with herpes. :( I imagined my sex life was pretty much over and that this would be a massive barrier to sex and relationships, but in fact it hasn't been. I don't go in for much casual sex, but I have had maybe 15 sexual partners in the past 25+ years. Each time, there has come a moment when I've had to say "Ummm, before I go to bed with you there is something I need to tell you..." and not once has any man then walked away. There is no infection risk if you do not have sores - if nothing hurts or itches, you won't pass on herpes.

In the first 5 years I had a couple of similar 'outbreaks' of painful sores. Then nothing for many years. Then one other bad patch. Then maybe three or four single 'sore spots' in the next decade and a half. In total, I've had about 10 'episodes' of something sore on my vulva in 25+ years... None of them have been anything like as bad as that first time... It hasn't ruled or ruined my life as I imagined!

Over the years, I have learned things that help:

• Tea tree oil definitely. As well as baths, I wet a blob of cotton wool and add a couple of drops of TTO, then dab it on directly. I repeat as often as I feel like doing it (often!) It stings like fuck, but the sore patches then go much more quickly - 24-48 hrs of pain instead of 4-10 days.

• You need air! Try wearing skirts, without knickers if possible. The sores have a habit of developing right under my knicker elastic, which then chafes and adds to the agony. Jeans are impossible (as you have already discovered); even leggings can be difficult. Lie in bed naked and let the air get to your bits as much as you can!

• Germolene and Sudacreme don't help. In fact I think they prolong an attack, perhaps because they stop air from getting to the sore bits. They are definitely less good than tea tree oil.

I have never tested positive for herpes, and I have had other doctors tell me that therefore it must be something else. Two told me that bad thrush can in fact cause nasty herpes-like sores. One told me that it was a latex allergy, and in fact I definitely do seem to be sensitive to latex. I am not taking any risks, so I now always choose latex-free if/when I am using condoms, tell health professionals to use latex-free gloves when they are examining me, and check new knickers for added latex...

Good luck with it. I hope your test results are as good as they can be; but even if they tell you what you don't want to hear, it won't be as bad as you imagine. :)

Spareidentity, thank you so much. We may well know each other - I name changed from my regular six year one a couple of months ago :-D

I have stopped the germoline. I did think of air this morning, but I can't face no knickers, never have, never could. I will wear one of my work jersey skirts though instead of leggings today, and I bought soft cotton granny knickers. I may take them off indoors, but not out. I have discharge so simply couldn't! I will try sleeping on top the covers with just pants or nothing tonight as well.

Tea tree oil I couldn't get yesterday but I will try again today. Im going to a Holland and Barrett so going to get a few bits.

I feel less like its a life time sentance now. Its awkward, and im more worried about flare Ups ruining kids time (holidays, camping etc)

Also, boyfriend is going to ask for testing if I come back positive, but with no sores we aren't sure how this would work. But he has a lowered immune system (diabetes) - could I ask for long term aciclover as a suppresent to protect him do you think?

My experience of acyclovir is that it stops working the more you use it, so I don't think long-term use would help. It helps a bit, maybe, if you save it only for actual flare-ups.

And if he has nothing visible, he can't reinfect you, so there's actually no need. And of course if there is something you can see, it also hurts, so there's very little chance of accidental re-infection.

You can get tea tree oil more places than you think. Most chemists. Big supermarkets. Wilkinsons, if you're up north!

I did have one flare-up on holiday, camping. It was horrible. And dabbing tea-tree oil on my bits (I always take it away with me, just in case) in a tent was tricky! But I survived. One holiday in 25 years isn't bad odds: other holidays have been more affected by other problems.

Honestly, it'll be ok. :)

I did look in morrisons yesterday but couldn't find any, shall hunt today. Is it l-something a vitamin amnio thing people have advised upthread too?

I have live yogurt for breakfast, as I read even eating it can be good.

And currently wearing a skirt and cotton underwear with no tights, pads, cream, anything. Nearly ended up with high top trainers (I live in jeans!) but found some old ballet style shoes.

That's reassuring about the likelihood of breakout with holidays. I feel crappy because I had this week off work, but tbh it has made it easier than ringing in sick, which I would have had to do.

I have awful wind though :-( think its the carbs im eating mixed with the drugs.

And boyfriend I was worried in case he isn't infected and I infect him as I know it can be worse in those with lowered immunity. Though we do think he has passed me hsv1 from oral sex (though could be wrong of course) can hsv1 pass from genitals to genitals?

I don't know, sorry. Try not to worry about BF until you've had your test results and know what you're dealing with. :) Easier said than done, I know!

A quick Google didn't tell me that, but it did tell me that infection is possible without visible sores. So the medical advice has changed since I last saw a doc about this, over a decade ago.

Anti-biotics give me wind too. I think it's because they kill off all the good bacteria in your gut too, so your digestion goes a bit screwy. Live yoghurt should help. :)

Off out now. Hope you continue to heal today!

Hsv1 can pass genital to genital but the likelihood is that it was orally passed- has he ever had a cold sore?
He can't be checked for it unless he has an outbreak.
You sound lots more positive. Try not to worry about the future until you know how many more o/bs you'll get. I had maybe three more over he first 12 months and then that was it, not had an outbreak for 4 years.

www.herpes.org.uk

Did they do a blood test when you were tested before? A blood test for herpes is definitive, 100% accurate: www.m.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-diagnosis

If you do have it, I can only think that this is due to him having cold sores when you had oral sex. Does/did he have any cold sores at the time or have any come up since?

I don't think nhs STI tests include a blood test except for checking HIV

Apparently so. I have always read that you could pass it that way. Does he get cold sores?
Wishing you the very best. I get flare ups of excruciating pain lasting from 10 days to a month.

Mine is unexplained. Confirmed by blood test. But as I mentioned upthread I was past caring at that point and was prepared to accept any diagnosis

Then how do they test for herpes? A swab is only good if you have an outbreak.

Exactly, in general the only way they test for it is by swabbing, which is only good if you have an outbreak.

That's what we've been led to believe, you can only be diagnosed through an outbreak.

You can also pass the virus without any sores yourself.

He doesn't remember any cold sores as such, but he gets sore patches which we put down to shaving etc, which looking last night one could be more blister than rash or spot, but no idea. He remembers his mum and ex wife both suffering from mouth cold sores a lot but that's it.

I have started taking l-lysine today. I bought tea tree oil too - it says no direct skin though, have I bought the wrong thing?

Currently knickerless in a skirt indoors :-)

Try the tea tree oil in the bath.

Have you has any results yet?

Nope, results not available till Tuesday. 2/3 swabs are back today according to reception, and none are flagged as urgent, but my gp is off till Tuesday so can't review them. If they came in with flags on them another gp would action them, but as they haven't then they have to wait for my doctor.

No flags doesn't mean they are negative results of course. I also dont know which of the three have come back (I think they were testing for shingles, hsv1, hsv2? And he did say hsv1 takes the longest)

I will do the bath tonight. Feeling amazingly better, just one sore patch now which im hoping airs and clears soon.

Well im almost back to normal. All swelling gone down, all blisters disappeared and just one 1cm sore that was the problematic one all along and that was swabbed. (its gone down loads though, was about 3cm originally)

Antivirals finished yesterday morning. Antibiotics finish tomorrow, and results should be back tomorrow. Am still nervous but not so anxious as I was.

Boyfriend has been amazing. And I have hopes for future sex, which last week would have been a no no, no one was ever going there again! I have been bloated and moody due to the tablets, but he has spent so much time reassuring me and being kind. Its really helped, and I feel very lucky to have that relationship.

Only one more sleepless night and one more sore to get through!

Out of interest, two questions - I use a mooncup usually, and last used it about four days before my outbreak. Should I throw it? Can I still use it after sterilising? I sometimes struggle with getting it in and out, is it worth leaving it for a month just in case?

And lube - any recommendations? I am quite small (two csections) and boyfriend is quite large (over avergae for sure) and I think lube could help protect me from getting sore (and stop a repeat whether it was infection or hsv) but the Durex flavoured ones hurt. Any better ones?

Literally minutes after writing this my GP rung.

Its Hsv1. So its been passed orally to genitals. And with timespan, previous sexual history etc, its most likely from current boyfriend.

He said it is perfectly possible to have the hsv1 and never have had a cold sore. Its also possible to have had one at the age of 1/2 and still pass it on at the age of 35. So it is no ones fault - we couldn't have known this in routine std tests (which we are both planning on repeating just in case) and we couldn't have avoided it unless we absteined from oral sex. I dont blame boyfriend, so I hope he doesnt blame me. In some ways its easier showing hsv1 than 2 - oral sex is something ive only really done with current boyfriend, and vice versa, so its made the emotional side easier if that makes sense?

GP is also hopeful of no further outbreaks with it being hsv1 not 2, but obviously it can't be ruled out. But ive been flagged on the system to be given antivirals at first sign no questions asked.

Thank you to everyone for your support in this thread, and previous ones I read. I wrote this thinking the worst, but through everyones help ive realised that its not dirty, its not a disease and its not a life sentance. Hence moving this from chat to general health, hopefully to help others in the future.

I do think there needs to be more education about the risks of oral sex though.

The mooncup should be fine with sterilisation. But I'd be tempted to leave it a month and try using a hypo-allergenic range of towels such as Cottons, which I think are available in Boots.
So glad you are feeling so much better.

I'll have a look next weekend. I hate pads but for a month I could cope. Tbh a lot of the time nowadays (mirena) i barely need more than a pantyliner so it might not be as bad as im imagining. (last towel experience was post birth!)

Velma

So glad you're feeling better - got lots of admiration for the way you've dealt with this. No experience of Herpes myself but have had lots of issues over the year with recurrent cystitis and now a mild prolapse. I know how unhappy feeling unwell down there can make you feel - to me it somehow feels worse than anywhere else - and things which impact on your sexual health are tough too - for you both.

Anyway - have used lube for years - ever since first child was born - and I had discomfort from the way the tear healed. We've generally used Sensilube which is made by Durex. Probably a bit old fashioned these days - but has always worked well. Doesn't feel sticky like lots of them and you only need a small amount. Sell it in Boots but cheaper in Superdrug and online. GP recently recommended Sylk which is OK but for some reason was only available over the counter in Boots (was a bit about asking for it)!

Good luck.

Best lube for you would be V Gel made by Higher Nature. It's available in health food shops or online. It's wonderful for women with any sort of genital conditions or pain because it's made of aloe vera gel and calendula extract, so it soothes while providing lubrication.

Thank you Ellie. Im not a head in the sand type person with gynea stuff I admit, I had cervical erosions when I was younger which with the bleeding after sex was far scarier. Not to say I wouldn't rather have my head buried deep in denial of this! I will look into that lube thank you.

Missplumb, would that irritate though? Im allergic to everything, I get irritated by any form of soap - I can only use sanex 100% paroben and fragrance free stuff in the shower. Or do you think it would be ok?

Part of the reason of moving this thread so it stayed was in the hope that other women in the same position felt more uncomfortable going to the gp and having it dealt with.

Boyfriend came over last night. We've talked a lot, both happy, I feel very loved and supported and hope anyone else diagnosed with the same gets the same support from their partners.

Glad that you're feeling better and you have an explanation at last.
Hope that the last one clears up soon.