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**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

990 replies

BetsyBoop · 07/02/2014 10:40

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

OP posts:
Marshy · 08/02/2014 16:21

No news from really?

Thinking of you really and hope all is well

harrietv · 08/02/2014 17:40

by the way thanks kitkat really helpful to hear of your new boob and your half new one! Is it weird increasing in size? Did everyone know? I haven't told lots of people any of this is happening (to keep it from the DCs) - will the notice if i suddenly turn up to pickup with huge knockers?!

marshy how well/quickly did you recover from mx and are you all done now with treatment? I'm in a bit of a daze today with my results after drs being pretty sure it was invasive. A good daze but all a bit surreal.

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 17:52

Really wants me to let you know that she's ok. She doesn't want anyone to worry following her post here earlier.
I'm texting with her. She has an awful internet connection from hospital.
Really can read MN threads. But she can't reply as it cuts off.

Here is her text to me. She's given me permission for me to post it:
REALLY texted:
'Still at hospital :-( had a lecture from grumpy nurse who told me i just needed to calm down and stop being so emotional and then i would be fine :-( cue more tears and feeling stupid. I was just going to leave but I didn't feel right and wanted to get checked by doc. 2hrs later i started feeling itchy and had a rash of little blood spots all over my arms and legs! At which point grumpy nurse decided she might need to do bloods! Platelets were low, so doc came and immediately ordered a platelet transfusion. That's done now and I am feeling slightly better, but will be here for the night :-( internet keeps failing so feeling a bit sorry for myself and lonely! :-( hoping grumpy is off duty soon. Because she's not helping :'( sorry for the moan x

Hope u r having a good day xx'

Marshy · 08/02/2014 18:05

Thanks for the update goodness and really, if you are reading, good to hear you are ok. Hope you get some rest and staff aren't too grumpy!

Harriet - completely get your dazed feeling. At my pre mx appointment the BS told me she expected to find invasive cancer in the tissue they were about to remove. Had the op on 30th Oct and results on 11th Nov showing extensive dcis but nothing invasive. Initial diagnosis was beginning of Sept and by Nov I was a bit of an emotional wreck in all honesty.

Physically I have recovered very well. Will post a bit more later as phone about to die

BetsyBoop · 08/02/2014 18:08

thanks for the update goodness

really glad you are okay, I was worrying! Take it easy and rest up while you have the chance.

OP posts:
GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 18:20

She's not been given water for an hour. She asked one hour ago. Same nurse who told her not to be emotional. Hmm

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 18:22

Food and water has come for Really. Thank goodness Wink
Thank gd for kind food ladies and care assistants at times like these.

Marshy · 08/02/2014 19:38

Phone a bit happier now!

Harriet - I had skin sparing mx with immediate reconstruction with implant. Surgeon said she would take me down from a d to a c cup but actually I'm in the same size underwear now as I was pre-op. Was in hospital 2 nights, discharged with one drain in situ which distinct nurse removed 2 days later. I had minimal dressings and no stitches to remove which I would imagine is standard. Pain was well managed in hospital and I was on over the counter type drugs by the time I was home, with the occasional bit of heavy duty co-codamol, drug free after a few days.

I had quite a lot of armpit pain and cording down my arm but I think that was from the SLNB. That's almost completely gone now though I still have some altered sensation on the back of my arm and the whole area aches a bit from time to time. I'm pretty much back to normal activities including driving, work and gym.

The new boob is a good shape but sits high and perky and is firmer than a normal breast would be and doesn't move like a normal breast. It definitely doesn't match the other side out of clothing, though when I'm dressed you wouldn't know the difference.

I'm seeing the surgeon in March to plan an uplift to the other side to create naked symmetry! Don't think I'll need an implant but am keeping an open mind. Will also look at having a nipple created although lack of one doesn't really bother me.

I definitely wanted recon and implant was the best option for me as it seemed most straightforward, with fewer scars and quick recovery as long as everything goes to plan. It does potentially lead to further intervention but even if I didn't have anything else done I would be happy with what I've got now. The implant will need replacing at some point, of course.

Others on this thread have had different types of recon, or none, which is also an option. It's a very personal decision.

We did start a recon thread so might be an idea to resurrect it for more detailed discussion. Good luck with your decision making!

difficultpickle · 08/02/2014 19:40

That's the sort of 'care' I worry about. There are loads of great nurses but there are some who really should find some other way of earning a living.

Found out today that my mum had told ds about me going into hospital this week. She's done things like this before and I have told her before ds is my child and its for me to choose to tell him about important stuff. I'd planned Domino's pizza and cinema treat, which we shall still do but I've had to sit and tell him in a way I didn't want to. The main problem I have is mum telling him but not being able to answer his questions as she doesn't understand herself (I've tried but she cannot understand/deal with things). So it just leaves ds feeling very upset and isolated until he can talk to me.

I have an upset mum and ds and no one for me to share my worries with. Thank god for MN Grin.

UKsounding · 08/02/2014 21:12

Oh Pickle I wish I could wave a magic wand and make this better for you. My heart goes out to you as I have a little girl a year younger than that your son, but they sound similar in many ways. She too had to go through her Mum being diagnosed out of the blue (with a very nasty cancer) at the same time as having a tough time at school. Initially the doctors assumed that my breast cancer had matatized and would be incurable and spread quickly. I live abroad with no family support other than DH (who was in bits) and DD. We had some very dark days until it was determined that it had been caught in time and responded to treatment. The anniversary is coming up and things are looking much brighter - including D's new school.
I think that until you lexperience staring into the black void in the middle of the night with no good options and a child who desperately needs their mum, it is hard understand. I often think of you and your son (since lurking on the difficult decision thread, but I couldn't post because it was hard to untangle my feelings about your situation from mine). I am very very sorry that your friend can't act as guardian and it must be a desperate worry for you. I so wish that I lived within a reasonable distance and we could meet. I would be willing in a heart beat as I can't imagine my Dd not having someone to stand by her - and I guess that you would understand that feeling for me and mine too although we are strangers to each other.
I am sure that one day you too will look back on these very darkest days with a feeling of wonder that you both got through it. I am thinking of you both from overseas and sending you my most heartfelt best wishes. May the wind be at your back my friend!

Marshy · 08/02/2014 21:25

Lovely post UK....

M0naLisa · 08/02/2014 21:43

Thanks. I'm going to ring the drs first thing Monday morning. Reading through the latest posts I saw one poster said about tiny blood spots.
I have these all over my body and have had them for a few years now. Went to drs with these and she prescribed oiliment for the bath Hmm tried it and they didn't disappear but never went back to drs with them.

kitkat1967 · 08/02/2014 21:55

Harrietv - no, no-one has noticed. Mind you I'm still wearing an unflattering sports bra and generally have been living in loose tops as I have been a bit wonky since mx (and TE) in August.

I don't care if no-one ever notices though as I love it - it's like rolling back the years Smile. I'm still hoping the implant one will drop a bit but if not I'll have a lift like Marshy to try and look more even out of clothing.

Thanks for the updates on Really goodness - it's good to know she's OK.

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 22:21

Really isn't actually ok. She was kept over night at hospital as her platelets were low (checked after the chemo she had). Platelet transfusion followed -you probably understand all this better than I do.
I hope to gd that her night nurse is nicer than the bitch of a day nurse who told her to basically pull herself together or something.
I've had scary as hell night nurses that I've since complained about formally (PALS). Just stinks that just a few shite nurses make a cruddy situation (bring I'll n vulnerable) even worse - much worse n more scary. Not surprisingly, it's putting people off wanting to return for treatment Hmm

Chatelaine123 · 08/02/2014 22:37

Hello ladies, may I pop in for a while for a bit of chat/support/understanding?

It's been a while since I last posted here. I was invited at age 48 for my first ever screening, to my dismay I was diagnosed with ILC in 2011. WIL, rads and Tamoxifen. I recovered physically but emotionally it took it toll. I couldn't face the prospect of the follow up mammogram in 2012 so declined the offer. I have regretted that decision ever since so elected to be screened (two weeks ago). I am now living in dread of the letter inviting me for another round of images > and it all happening again.

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 22:38

Spelling correct: being ill n vulnerable

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 22:50

Chat, hold my hand. I've had so many people holding mine and I'm strong enough for you to give mine a really right squeeze.
Smile
Did you get any counselling having been through it last time? Anything/ one who you find helped?

malteserzz · 08/02/2014 22:52

Just popped on for news of really, glad they're keeping an eye on you but hope they let you out soon and everything settles down. Were all still holding your hand

Chatelaine I'm sure we all understand how you feel, wait with us you are very welcome

Uk your post brought tears to my eyes

Love to all I'm off to bed after a busy day isn't the wind awful !

BetsyBoop · 08/02/2014 22:53

goodness - I can't speak for the others that said the same, but I said I was glad really was "okay" because I had been worried that she might have had another bleed in her brain as she'd gone in to be checked in the early hours with a splitting headache and feeling ill. Low platelets isn't "good" of course, but it's a lot more okay than another bleed on the brain!

OP posts:
difficultpickle · 08/02/2014 22:56

UK your post made me cry. Thank you for what you said. I know I need to be strong for ds, who is being amazing in all of this rubbish with my health and his school. I hope I can look back on all of this in a year's time having got through it all and be well.

Goodness sorry to hear about really. Low platelets means bruising and bleeding easily (and bleeding taking a long time to stop). Platelets is what our blood has to help us clot. I've got low platelets (everything in my blood is low!). I had a very minor cut on my finger last weekend and it took an hour to stop bleeding. A platelet transfusion is painless but hopefully should help really

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 23:02

Hope so. And that she gets a good sleep.

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 23:03

;) Betsy
Xxx

GoodnessKnows · 08/02/2014 23:10

Difficultpickle, grrrr on your behalf. My DM also has her own opinions (that she often follows through) about the 'best' course of action re how to deal with all this and my DCs. I had to virtually (verbally) hold her down to prevent her bringing my DCs to see me while I still had 5 IVs, a back drain leading spinal fluid leakage from my spine to a double sized milk bottle attached to my bed, a catheter and leg pumps straps, oh - and oxygen up my nose.
'They need to see where their mummy is and that she's okay. To see your room and know where you are. It's been two days.'

For the love of gd! If she didn't mean business, it'd be comical. She'll never see how wrong she can get it - and I'm so often left feeling I'm mad cos I can't see the sense in her 'logic' n vice versa.

Marshy · 08/02/2014 23:18

Checking out for a bit now.

Dd is home from uni for a few days tomorrow - can't wait to see her - and I have a day off planned with her on Monday and then back to work.

Kitkat and Betsy - good luck for your first day back at work. It will soon feel as if you have never been away!

Love to all

difficultpickle · 08/02/2014 23:19

Goodness Goodness. I wonder if it is their age? I think my mum's judgment is completely skewed by her worrying about me and as a result she doesn't listen to what I say and when she does listen she doesn't understand (but won't tell me she hasn't understood). She also doesn't seem to understand that ds is 9 and whilst he may sound and act like a teenager at times he really is a little boy who is very scared his mum is going to die (and in that fear he seems to have a far better grasp of the situation than his grandma). I spend a lot of time these days biting my tongue in order to avoid saying what I really think. I know she means well and I am very grateful for her support but sometimes...!

We had to have a chat about drugs this evening as ds is really really worried that drug dealers are going to kill me. I told him that there a good drugs and bad drugs and the hospital consultant will give me the good ones to make me well. Until he asked it never occurred to me that he thought all drugs were bad.

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