**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

[BetsyBoop]

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

Very quiet on here today.

Pickle hope your line's not causing you too much discomfort.

Today I finished rads. It is exactly 6 months to the day since I was told I had cancer. I can't believe this has taken a whole half a year from me, although compared to some, I know that's quite quick. I felt quite emotional walking out of that hosp for (please God) the last time. A bit of retail therapy and some chocolate soon put me right though . DH is taking me out later to celebrate, and I have a busy few days planned including being re-educated in how to drink alcohol by my friends who appear to be determined to get me pissed on Saturday night.

I'm also doing helpful stuff like rattling a tin in aid of Marie Curie on Saturday afternoon on Guildford High Street, so if any of you are in the area pop along, say hi and hand over some cash!

Handbags that's great congratulations :)

Glad you're celebrating but don't be surprised if you feel a bit low / strange over the next few days too. It's a big thing to go from all of those appointments to nothing

I had a little nap this afternoon after my 2 mornings at work lol !

Handbags, that is momentous. Well done for finishing all that treatment and in six months, too (sounds quick to me, lthough of course it wont feel that way to you!). It's great that you've got a busy few days; I can only imagine the mix of exhilaration and feeling completely flat...

3rd FEC for me today. Went very very wobbly beforehand; cried when I went to have my bloods done yesterday. Cried again today. Luckily the chemo team are so nice , and very good at sitting, asking and listening. And (this may not be entirely unrelated) I seem to have another period. Getting bothered as I do not want oestrogen wandering round my body encouraging all those vile little cancer cells.... But the doctors don't seem fussed, so maybe I should find something else to pin my worries on. There is always something.

Congratulations Handbags it must feel amazing to be finished.

Wren I can sympathise with the tears. My mum popped round for a coffee this morning and spent 3 hours here because I kept bursting into tears. Sometimes what we are going through is just overwhelming that it has to come out some how.

I'm on Norethisterone to stop my periods (because my blood counts are so rubbish). Could you ask for that?

Thanks, Pickle, I'll ask them...

And I meant to say that I really agree that it is overwhelming at times and that tears are a really natural response. I'm glad your mum could stay with you for a bit.

Maybe there's something in the air because I've also been very teary today. Three days past first chemo and I feel like I'm just waiting for a bomb to drop. I do feel exhausted and at times slightly nauseous but not sure if it's actually the meds or the high levels of anxiety I feel.

The district nurse was meant to come and give me an injection on Tuesday. Something to do with boosting my immune system. The hospital were meant to have sent the authorisation on Monday but it hasn't been received. I have spent the past three days chasing it up but all that seems to happen is I get given a different number to ring. The old me would have sorted this but I just feel so weepy I just can't seem to get a grip. I have the injection but the district nurse won't do it without the authorisation slip and somehow it just isn't making it's way to the district nurses. I now have a new number to ring tomorrow.

The final straw was finding out I'd missed my youngest's school assembly where he was playing the flute (he was off yesterday so had forgotten himself). I just feel I've lost control of everything.

Hugs to everyone feeling sad this week. It's not surprising and I do think sometimes it's good to have a cry as a release. I'm sure the chemo itself makes you depressed on top of all the worry

Feline that's an added pain you don't need :( I hope you can get it sorted. Is there someone else who could ring for you ?

Sorry people have been feeling sad.
Feline - I do my injections myself, would that be an option for you?

Hello Lovely Ladies, sorry so many if you are having a tearful day. goodness I hope you have found the answer to your question - sounds like it was something that you needed some reassurance over. harriet how are you today? Still on the mend, hopefully.
handbags hurrah for you! I hope you will hang around to offer lots of advice to all us newbies. One thing intrigued me in your post - can you not drink alcohol while under treatment, if so, I might just join the tearful brigade!
feline that is pants about your injection! You could so do without the extra stress.
I've just had a 14 hour work day, trying to cram a lot in before I disappear for surgery on the 8th. Knackered but it is nearly the weekend.

Feline I think your reaction is perfectly normal. I struggle to find words for things I know inside out and everything seems to be an effort. It means it doesn't take much to put me over the edge and into a tearful state.

I'm watching Davina on BBC1 and she's sobbing enough for all of us!

Let's hope all of us tearful lot have a happier day tomorrow

Oooh. Might watch Davina tomorrow on iplayer. Not feeling tearful now, just feeling crap as I had FEC 3 today. It's a change...

Considerably, thank you.
Years today - me too.
Let's hope that tomorrow is a happier day for all of us! It's Friday - thank Crunchie!

Goodness just to pick up on your qu, I don't know a great deal about sarcomas, but yes cancer can change grade - cancer is down to cell mutations so it's not uncommon for them to mutate again and become more aggressive. I had a very very quick skim for research on this and one study suggested about 20% of soft tissue sarcomas became more aggressive. I doubt your consultant could say for definite, but with your grading scores from the path report (that tell him about cell behaviour/appearance) and what he's seen before he's probably got a good feel on likely outcomes. So good job its out and gone then :) Hope that helps.

to everyone else and wishes them a "no tears" Friday!

I watched davina too thought she did really well she obviously found it really tough

Hope everyone's ok. I'm knackered glad I'm not at work today and I only did 2 mornings. Think the phased return is a must after so long off

morning all. Have a nice rest today Malt (this is the first Friday that I have actually made it into the office!!).

Today was day 1 of my Race for Life training!! I'm not a runner but did 20 minutes on the treadmill at 7km/hr so I reckon I can build up to 5k. I'm going to enter with both my kids (1 keen, 1 not!!).

Morning all. I hope everyone has a better day today than most of us seemed to have yesterday.

malt I'm not surprirsed you're knackered. It will take a good while to get 'match fit' after so long off work.

Ds was at home last night for the first time since I came out of hospital. He seems to have grown up over the last few weeks. He also seems more chilled than he has been in a long while. His year do a PGL trip at the end of next term and he was adamant he didn't want to go. Last night he said he did, which is great and gives me hope that he is coping better than I thought with all of this.

Morning everyone!

Finally got injection sorted (in theory. Still not seen an actual nurse yet but did have a phone call). DP had offered to sort it but I wanted to give it one last try. I just can't inject myself but may ask DP to be shown how because I can't go through this every month.

Still feeling exhausted today. It's my birthday so I keep getting constant texts which is lovely although slightly bizarre in that usually my birthday passes with little fuss.

Suddenly got hit this morning with a bout of nausea and vomiting. Literally came out of nowhere and I feel fine now. Very odd.

handbags congratulations!!

malt sounds like it is good to be back at work. I just got permission to take 2 months holidays after Rads! So I'm out until Sept.

feline injection is very easy to do yourself. Is it Nulasta? Get nurse to show you how, instruction are also provided with the syringe. I did my last Nulasta injection just this morning.
However it should be administrated between a certain number of days in the cycle. Check with your chemo team. Is there a nurse at your GPs who would do it for you?

feline crossed post. Really, it is not hard at all to do injection yourself. It is just the thought if it before you do it for first time. Your DH would have no problem to do it either.

And a big happy birthday to you !!!

Thanks everyone. yes It should really have been done within 24 hrs but my consultant is aware. Yes it's Nulasta.

I will have to get DP to do it next time. Although I will ask the nurse to show me and may manage myself.

Glad you've got the injection sorted, Feline. I'll have to do them on the next cycle - not a hope of DH picking up the work as injections make him faint! And happy birthday, although the birthday lark is a bit odd at the moment.

Mom, you must be so pleased to be off till September; I might see if I can organise something similar as the idea of going back to work in the summer holidays does not fill me with joy.

Afternoon all

Happy Birthday feline

I had to have blood test this morning and it took 4 goes to get some blood. My veins have just given up. Finally managed to get some from my wrist with phlebotomist holding needle down and me pulling the plunger!

Rash finally seems to be on the way out.

Just had lovely lunch with my friend who's birthday it is today.

Wren I'm delighted to be off until Sept. Rads will be finished end May or there abouts, so I hope to have a summer of good health with no medical appts and enjoy my time off with my two girls before they go back to school.

Now all I need is lovely summer weather like we got last summer, and I would be totally made up!

Hi bigger recovery continues, thanks for asking. Bad night last night as sleeping in one spot has given me really bad back ache, think I needed to take stronger pain killers but didn't quite have the energy to sit up and find them. But joy of joys today my drains are out! All 4 went down to 20ml or cc (not quite sure what my measurements were) over night so out they came. And I feel like a new woman. Plan to catch up on that sleep all afternoon.
And my DS2 (5) will hopefully come near me now. He was freaked out by my tubes!