Yesterday, I found out that ... and I'm scared.

[GoodnessKnows]

I will be brief as I feel like I've entered a time warp where my brain has frozen, incapable of long sentences:
Had hip pain and have been waking at 3am most nights with back pain (not terrible) for about 1-2 years.
Thought I needed a firmer mattress.
Finally went to consultant.
Two MRIs and an X-ray later, I was ushered into a private room having just been told that a large tumor is at the base of my spine.
They called me back in within one working day of the second MRI.
I'm now waiting for a biopsy which will be on Wednesday or Saturday of next week - to determine its 'nature'.
Scared
Shocked
There was talk of chronic bone erosion in the lower back as a result of this thing. Also discussion of nerve paths and tumors, rare cases and cups of tea.
Now, lying awake as usual in mild discomfort, I'm in utter shock and disbelief.

I've also been feeling such gratitude for friends and family. How on bloody earth do people get through without them? I didn't think I had many / any close friends before this (my own silly perspective). How wrong I was. I feel loved and cared about. Just hope that they bloody visit me! I'm tidying the house today. Have sober full Vikki from MN coming over. She's a fairy-angel. I won't be as to bend down or lift for 6 weeks so I want this place ship shape (not shit-shape, as it currently is). It amazes me how frequently I bend down to pick up this, that and bits of fluff. I've really noticed it.
Funny that you mentioned the Going on a Bear Hunt Line. It came to me a couple of weeks ago and I put it on my FB page. No wiser words.

Ah, I forgot to mention the grabber thing that allows you to pick things up without bending.

Something like this

www.ukmobilityhealthcare.co.uk/Kitchen-Dining-Aids/Grippers-Grabbers-Twisters/1409-aluminium-reacher-

Goodness, on behalf of the British economy I want to say "Thank You"!

Glad your friends are looking out for you Goodness, and shame your dh has to be away now. Just thinking of a couple of things that may be useful when you can't bend from when I hurt my back recently, getting food and drinks. You want some snacks and drinks you can reach so you can get them when you want. I found I couldn't reach anything in my fridge. This is when you are up but can't bend obviously! I hope people will be bringing you drinks and food at first. Also meals, ours went a bit downhill as dh is not a keen cook and we basically lived on microwave meals which was not healthy and dd managed to get really bad constipation, probably from not eating her veggies or fruit so keep an eye on that sort of thing if your dh is not used to doing the cooking and supervising kids eating.
Thinking of you and enjoy your skiing!

Oh yes - stock up on anti constipation remedies as the pain killers can wreck havoc with the old insides .

Some people swear by prune juice , I found Laxido good . Very gentle .

And although I couldn't concentrate before the op or while in hospital I read through the entire works , well that's probably rating them a bit highly of Lee Child when I got home . He's a sort of tough guy superman who always succeeds . And a good plot .

www.amazon.co.uk/Lee-Child/e/B000APO0PQ

and then I went further down market to C J Box and his Joe Pickett novels

though who I really love is Guy Gavriel Kay .

I hope you have a Kindle of course . I have the zeal of a convert who never thought I'd prefer it to a book . But they are so easy to manage one handed and light . Only wish I had a new one with a backlight for night time reading .

More hugs .

Sorry - it's ridiculous of me to start recommending authors . It's such a personal thing ! And if we all recommended books we'd derail the thread !

Now constipation remedies is quite another thing ...

That's funny Gingeroots Laxatives and good books and DVDs you can watch in bed while convalescing are a must! And MN of course. I watched a nice DVD series about a Venetian man who sailed around the Med it was interesting but soothing. I will get the name and we can all recommend our favourites.

It was Francesco da Mosta med voyage

No, you are both wrong, the correct thing to watch is Madmen! I whizzed through the entire 5 series in a few weeks. OMG I just loved it.

Kindle, yes. Mine works fine, sadly because I'm dying to upgrade to a Paperwhite ( backlit one). Also books on iPod good for drifting to, I never follow the plot, though because of nodding off! Very soothing.

Beware of listening to your very favourite music, though, I ended up associating it with misery which is sad. Chill fm is pretty easy going if repetative.

Oh, for a houseful of staff, but if not, stock up with whatever small treats your dc like so you can bribe them to fetch and carry...do not eat them all yourself

Hope you aren't bored with us yet, goodness.

Can you drink a lot with your friends to ease the waiting?

Stressful day and it's not even started yet:

I could scream and shout right now and then promptly sob
I've had to make / take 12 calls re medical things
Talk to DH's 97 yr old grandma who was in tears and am up against challenges such as getting codes for my insurance company from one of the two surgeons who isn't on their list of approved one (listed as expensive) and who's on holiday. Secretary can't give it to me until he's back (22/1). And I've been called for pre op today to go tomorrow, having been told this would to be necessary as had MRSA test only three weeks ago. Going tomorrow. Also, have been called today to go to Harley St on Saturday for urinary tests as tumour is enmeshed with nerves controlling bladder etc. Of course, I then had to get approval code and ring secretary of surgeon on holiday for that who didn't know and who hadn't told me they'd be contacting me, hadn't sent them letter far enough in advance for there to be time for me to get any necessary tests done before the op (can't be done on day) because the urinary consultant is ... (wait for it)...going away.

I'm back to back as I'm trying as usual to be a mummy, teaching 5 hours today and sorting out the house as I won't be able to touch a thing once op done. Then useless call from health company to be told I needed the f.ing code - regarding which I'd called them already today to tell them I'll get for them as soon as consultant is back (22/1).

Grrrrrrrr
Oh, and DH is going away Saturday 5pm until Friday next week (3 days before my op.) to India.

you poor thing have some they are all a bunch of tossers to make you fuss about getting codes and saying your surgeon is not approved. Have some also. Do you have a sympathetic friend or family member you could have to stay while your dh is away? If they have kids it might still be ok as I guess you are not ill right now, just wanting company.

Scream for you ... sounds like its been organised in Italy !!!

Nope. Everybody has kids, jobs or is too old/ selfish. Lol
Im so done with this now. Someone wake me up n tell me this was all a nightmare.
Please.
On a lighter note, ill share a funny thing with y'all:
Was tutoring a 3 year old (dont ask!). Only he and i were in the room.
He farted. Loudly. Several times.
Me: oooh. Who was that?
Him: (staring blankly) I dont know.
Me: (kindly and with humour) What do you say?
Him: It wasn't me.
Me: (smiling) I think you mean 'Pardon me'.

A few minutes later...
Me: How old are you?
Him: (straight faced) Twenty four.

Was so funny.
Perhaps not-so funny things are funnier when you need release!

Pre-op today. Blood tests and a chat for an hour about what to expect. I'll need a sick bag as I feel sick whenever I drag my head out of the sand. I'll need it to be completely upright and even have eye contact with a nurse (who I may have shouted at just a little but in the phone yesterday). She was the twelfth call (medical) to tell me that I needed a pre-op, when last week I was told it wasn't necessary. Lost it. Told her that this was my twi weeks of being a mummy and being normal. That I'd asked the other nurse to double check it. That I was taking a three year old to a ballet class. That I'd had to make/ tajes twelve medical calls that day, teach 5 hours, get my house in order for when I can't move ...and be mummy.
She was very kind. Said she understood. I called her back to give her the time and day I could go in. 1pm today.
I'm leaning on my mum and dad to help to take me, childcare sometimes (not often). They do it but are more of the 'get on with it' mentality. And they're in their 70s. I feel bad to ask.

Good luck today.

Don't feel bad to ask your DPs, although they are elderly, they will be so concerned about you and desperate to help in some way. Just make the children make them lovely cards when you are back.

Good luck today. I'm sorry you are feeling bad just get through this then get home and do something nice. Don't feel bad about asking for help, now is the time for people to rally round. Maybe they are not being as sympathetic as you would hope because they are doing the head in sand too. I'm sure the nurse will be understanding too.

It's not even 8.30am and here we go round the mulberry bush:
And here we go again:
Just had call from the hospital. Nurse off sick
Short staffed
Can't have pre op today
Can I come tomorrow.
She complained that she couldn't hear me
I explained that I was on the (XXX) school run.

I'm finding it's harder not to swear at the moment. Thankfully, I didn't.

Jeez, you couldn't make it up.

Poor you (sorry, know you don't want pity, that's an empathetic poor you).

Go for a lovely lunch instead?x

Ps both screaming and swearing allowed. A few years on the phone might get peoples arses into gear. Suggest you simply give the insurers the correct phone numbers and say actually, I'm unwell. I will let you chase this info. They are in fact getting paid for doing this....I know they don't act that way but I believe it's true .

Love little children's one liners.

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Didn't cancel. Called me at 8.30 (on school run). Nurse is off.
Going tomorrow. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Person coming to declutter also cancelled. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Nooo, is tomorrow a better day for you ? Glad that your parents are there to help . Even though they are in their 70's it is good that they want to help . Love the farting 24yr old !

Funny wasn't it.
Tomorrow is ok but I needed to get it out of the way. I don't want my head to be out of the sand for longer than I need it to be.

See what you mean, well keep it buried today and then only come out briefly for your app tomorrow . When you have finished de-cluttering pop round I can keep you occupied for a bit !!!

I'm on my way, honey. Packing now.