Yesterday, I found out that ... and I'm scared.

[GoodnessKnows]

I will be brief as I feel like I've entered a time warp where my brain has frozen, incapable of long sentences:
Had hip pain and have been waking at 3am most nights with back pain (not terrible) for about 1-2 years.
Thought I needed a firmer mattress.
Finally went to consultant.
Two MRIs and an X-ray later, I was ushered into a private room having just been told that a large tumor is at the base of my spine.
They called me back in within one working day of the second MRI.
I'm now waiting for a biopsy which will be on Wednesday or Saturday of next week - to determine its 'nature'.
Scared
Shocked
There was talk of chronic bone erosion in the lower back as a result of this thing. Also discussion of nerve paths and tumors, rare cases and cups of tea.
Now, lying awake as usual in mild discomfort, I'm in utter shock and disbelief.

Ledkr, haha
Xx

Goodness, you've taught me stuff too, about cancers and what can be worse, and here, how to express gratitude and perspective. So thank you as well.

Don't forget that this is the next stage, living with it and your family. And MN is here for you on this and other threads.

So glad it wasn't the other possibility. Now to zap this one, onwards and upwards.

An that there are parts of our spine / vertebrae that we done actually need! How bizarre is that! That some benign tumours need cancer treatment and are more dangerous than cancerous ones. Just mind boggling.

You've taught us something!

I am so pleased to hear that news - hope you can now relax & concentrate on getting well.

or even a glass of - if you are allowed one.

Goodness re: my above post, I am absolutely fine honestly. :) Just wanted to share my quote and how it gets me through tough times.

SO pleased to hear your news btw. I've never been so genuinely happy for a complete stranger on the internet.

I have a relative who had a low grade sarcoma. They only removed it after it became uncomfortable for her to walk and she is now the picture of perfect health.

Sending support. What a journey so far. Stay strong.

The support I've had on mn and from RL people I'd not realised were real/ still friends has been staggaringly movie-like.
I'm so grateful for your virtual hands (sorry for having squeezed them so tightly at times) and heartfelt messages.

Goodness great news, I am so very pleased for you.

Love the Seven Wonders of Your World :)

I too love your Seven Wonders!! And hand still here for squeezing xx

Can I must add one more wonder: my friend Emma.
She took me out for one hour turned into a sneaky two.
Was so bloody thrilling to go shopping. Bought pink Princess dress cape for DD (3), nearly bought dress in Joules identical to another dress I bought I Joules v recently (I am categorically nuts), maths game I'd like my DS (6) to play but know he never, ever will and prune juice (sadly a necessary evil to combat serious doses n doses of medications that 'bung you up' (Senior nurse's medical terminology).
So, number 8 has to be a jaw droppingly superficial but thrilling and much missed (13 days, guys - torture!) SHOPPING.

(Hides superficial, shopaholic head while dreaming of cheap Balenciaga sunglasses she'd like to buy from 'that lady on Facebook' soon).

Looks like I'm getting better

Great news !!!!

Hope you've had a great day Goodness!

Thank you
Teary as just hitting home. But all part of process, I'm sure

Hi Goodness! How's it going?
Are you still feeling as if you are getting better?
Is it your mobility, or is the pain going, gradually?
It will hit you, emotionally, and the drugs might make you feel a bit tearful, but how good to know the op is over.
How are you now?
Don't overdo it. I bet everyone says that!

Helza, thank you for asking. Only just seen this message and really appreciate you following it up. It was successful and I'm running around being mummy again and thinking 'what the fxxxx just happened?! such a strange and terrifying episode. And now I have ten years of checks (turned out to be cancerous) but thank gd surgeons think it was all removed. HFI hope so and count myself extreeeeeeeemly lucky. I'd not have coped without your help on mumsnet, people on this and other threads. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

How mad that it turned out to be cancerous after all. So glad you made it through and are back to running round being a crazy mummy!

Crazy mummy indeed. Today I ran for the first time. Felt like I'd had my third and fourth gears taken away. I was slow but compared to what I feared dreaded would happen, I felt blessed and sad. Soooo strange to have had this strangely terrifying experience and for it to have been capsuled in such a brief time span. It's turned so much of my life upside down - priorities and friendships, mostly. All fir the good though. Definitely. It's brought me closer to my DH and DPs. DCs' difficulties have to become 'right sized' vs irritating, some good and/ or old friends have revealed themselves to be crap ones not worthy of 'acquaintance status' - and some acquaintances have revealed themselves to be the best sorts of friends I could ever want to have. All good.

I'm glad all has turned out well and you're back to your old self, just about! Like me, you'll be wiser and feeling fortunate to have come through it all. Running, too! Wow, you've come on in leaps and bounds! Best wishes for the future, Tadaaah!

Oops! I'll be having my five year post breast cancer check up on Friday. Gets a bit tearful because it brings back memories, but good to be at the end of it all!

Goodnessknows, I have read this thread from the start, so glad for you that the results were better than feared. Hope you are doing well xxx

Helza, I'd not quite call it running. Lol
How are him feeling about Friday?
My next ct and MRI are on Friday. I'll have ten years of it. I'm praying that it'll be ten clear years!
Bit of a cloud but trying to convince myself that it's good to be checked, anyway.

Princess, thank you for your good wishes and kind thoughts. I was in such a dark place and I'm very grateful to those of you who supported me through this scary time.

So we can think of each other on Friday!
I wish you luck, and hope they only find good things, and all is well!