*TAMOXIGANG* All the fours...44!

[GoodbyeRubyTuesday]

Apologies for the bingo reference, couldn't think of a witty title but the other thread is very nearly full.

In honour of our new thread I have piled extra apple pudding on the trolley so tuck in :)

thank you for your kind words and your welcome. Sorry if I sound a bit self-absorbed and negative - you are all a testimony to the fact it's not a death sentence. I must remember that. I know I am still in shock, 10 days on, and the surgeon's appointment looming Monday will be weighing on my mind. I hope you are right, malteserzz, and I will start to feel in a bit more control then. Will I be allocated a specific nurse to remain with me, Marshy? Sorry you've had a bad week foofooyeah and about your sister. I'm going to try and get on with the rest of the weekend, keeping one foot in front of the other, and will post back sometime after my surgeon's appointment. Thank you everyone.

techno - ditto what everyone has said - this really is the worst bit, waiting. Once you know exactly what's what and have a plan it gets easier. If it is just DCIS then the outlook is better than very good :) You should get a named breast care nurse, but like most things some are better than others. Mine is fantastic, but others on here have not been so lucky.

foo - definitely a good plan :)

malt - how are you today? Starting to tentatively emerge out the other side of the tax truck yet?

really - don't feel guilty if you are not up to working - you need to be on top form for looking after young children, you can't have "take it easy" days.

Well I still have drains , but they are DEFINITELY coming out tomorrow :) Can't wait for freedom. I have a little swelling in the R armpit, but otherwise it hasn't been so bad and not as painful as I expected (apart from if you catch your drain, ouch ) Soooo looking forward to being drain free :)

Tiny no holiday plans yet !

Betsy my aches have gone and ulcer is getting better I'm just so tired. Really hope it will get better. I know everyone said the exhaustion gets worse each cycle and they were right !

Just take things easy malt and don't beat yourself up about feeling tired/doing less. After my last cycle I was only just starting to feel like I had a tiny bit of energy the weekend before my surgery (4+ weeks after last chemo). Of course the surgery has knocked me back again...

It is true what they say about it being cummulative isn't it?! I just keep reminding myself of how I felt just before chemo started, thinking "how on earth am I going to get through the next five months?" Well we did it, and we are coming out the other side now. :) We will feel stronger and better bit by bit, we will! The usual mantra of "this too will pass" applies as always :)

Hi ladies

To those of you that commented. It's me that wants/needs to work! For my own sanity! My biggest fear is that I am not going to be able too! But I NEED to try, think I just need to prepare myself for the fact, that I might not be able too, and I need to be willing admit I can't do it!

I'm feeling a bit better today. Need to try and eat a bit more. My appetite has been non existent and the fact nothing tastes quite right, isn't helping.

Anyway going to enjoy my last day and a half of being looked after. Before I head back to work!

Hope everyone's having an okay day. Xxxxxxx

Hello all, I have been reading your posts but could not reply as my phone wont post. I am on the desktop atm so it should work ok.

I am feeling a bit better three weeks after my op. It was horrid being in hospital and I had a mean nurse during the nights who certainly didn't make it any easier. First night after the op she pulled the curtain right back to take my blood pressure and left it like that , leaving me naked apart from a pair of see through disposable knickers completely helpless and unable to cover myself up or reach the call button in a mixed ward. It was an experience I never want to repeat. It didn't help that I was in a lot of pain and full of morphine. I am going private next time even if I have to sell the car, I need my own room. I hope I will have a sense of humour about the experience in time but at the moment it is still too raw.

Anyway since then I have been very breathless and weak but picking up a bit every day. I am still not as fit as I was before the op. I feel a bit resentful after going through all that and it didn't even work. I am still plugging away at the chemo, being waited on hand and foot, bored and housebound.

Malt, it is difficult finishing chemo as I found it took as long as six months before I felt "normal" again. I was expecting to bounce back three weeks afterwards and resume my life (I did bounce back eventually and had a lovely five years before mine came back). You may be fine in a fortnight though, no two people experience treatment the same. I would also recommend some councelling to help you deal with what has happened to you. When all the medical intervention has finished I was left feeling very strange and cast adrift. No one who has not been through it can properly understand. Eight months of drama and then a cheerful "see you in six months" can leave you feeling very insecure.

Betsy, hope your drains come out easily and you dont get a seroma. I bet you will be glad to get rid of them.

Techno - you are really lucky, you have spotted a potential problem early and it can be stopped in its tracks. It may be a bit of a pain to get through treatment but you certainly have not been delivered a death sentence.

Anyway sorry for the mammoth post. Please accept a slab of tablet as an apology.

Oh trice sorry to hear about your terrible experience in hospital. I had no idea there were mixed wards and for you to be treated like that is appalling.

trice - that's appalling, hope you are going to complain? (what is it with leaving the call button out of reach post-op? I had the same experience last week :( ) I hope you continue to feel better every day :)

Thanks Betsy

Trice glad you've posted I was wondering how you were. Sorry about your hospital experience that sounds bloody awful I know nurses are overworked etc but there's no excuse for leaving you like that. I hope as you recover you'll find that there was a benefit to the op.

Trice, that's awful, please complain. I have just submitted a complaint to the hospital I was in last weekend as I was left screaming in pain and told to be quiet as I was disturbing other patients. I was actually seen in hospital by the matron who encouraged me to complain and helped me know who to contact but please contact PALS as a start. Mine is actually being dealt with formally as a complaint rather than through PALS, but they are the place to start the ball rolling.
If you want to pm me I can help you as the matron said my complaint was one of the most objective she had ever seen

Trice that's bloody awful !
Nobody should ever be treated like that .
And I really think you need to start off a formal complaint , not only for yourself - but for any future patients of this nurse .

Keep getting better and be good to yourself x

Morning all
Hope everyone's ok
dh is on his way home yippee !
Ds at a football match so dd and I are enjoying the peace
Trying to decide whether to do an online shop for tomorrow or go to the supermarket with my friend. Not left the house in ages maybe I should make myself or is it better to rest I don't know!

Malt - I save my energy for nice things (of which food shopping doesn't make my list!). So if you like shopping go for it. If you don't sod it, order online and go for a walk with your friend somewhere nice, preferably with a handy cafe for coffee and cakes :)

I am sorry trice that's horrid -I completely agree you should complain. Hope you feel stronger too.

I need to haul my arse out too malt. I am glad dh on his way home - hope he is loaded with goodies.

Kitkat I have nearly finished series 9 of greys -what will I watch next (aside from maison close)?

Topsy how did dd think yesterday went?

Am doing ok but bit tired (can't tell if its tax or mini gig). Had long nap as others gone to see the outlaws . I am lieing low as don't fancy picking up a bug from mil residential place (which I am convinced is even more of a germ fest than your average school).

just popping in to say

DRAIN FREE!

hurrah :)

That is great news!

That's great Betsy
Dh is home with lots of goodies don't think he'll be drinking the wine for a while sounds like a heavy weekend !
Gigs good idea not to go, seems to be lots of colds around at the moment too
Decided to do an online shop instead of traipsing round the supermarket

great news Betsy

glad you got lots of goodies Malt - great timing for you.

Gigs - I have only 4 episodes of PP left - spent the last few days in bed watching it. I have my Grey's ready but like you I need to find something else as 1 series won't last that long.

Just popping in to say hi and sorry for having been so absent (have been reading everyone's news though).
I had a lovely day out on Friday (whilst high on Steroids) but then the Tax truck hit and I've not had the energy to type anything since. I'm still pooped but on the way up (my weekly cycle has become very predictable). Only 2 more to go......

And for anyone who is interested I was told today that metformin (which i have for the diabetes) is being considered to be rolled out to post-BC ladies in 2014 as it has such a preventative effect. You may remember I posted that my onc was pleased when I got prescribed it. I am supposed to be back at GP next week to review the diabetes so will have to discuss whether to stay on the metformin when I stop the steroids as that is now an option. .
It just shows how much progress is being made all the time.

Evening all, just realised that my ten year old son has not actually got properly dressed all weekend. DP been on nights so we have really just vegged out. He even wore his onesie over to my sisters yesterday. Hopefully some energy will return soon.

Glad the drains have gone Betsy.

Oh Trice, all this BC business really is undignified isn't it? Glad you are feeling a bit stronger.

Malt - do keep us posted on your holiday plans, I am looking for inspiration as I think I will be long over due a holiday by the time this is all over. Enjoy your goodies!

Yay for Betsy!

KitKat - I haven't heard of metformin, do you know if it will be given to all post BC ladies or just a specific group?

Wig shopping yesterday was a disaster. I felt that they were all so obvious and shiney, plus the girl that was helping me said they couldn't be cut, that's not right is it? I have resorted to looking on-line. Can anyone tell me what else I will need apart from a stand and a pair of tights wig liner?

Tiny sorry to hear about your wig shopping yes it's rubbish they can't be cut, mine was. I bought a wig cap but never used it, I do use the stand and just wash it in simple shampoo
Mine is by Rene of Paris if that helps, it's a blond bob. Honestly people who don't know I'm ill just think Ive had my hair cut and it does look very natural there are good ones out there. Is there anywhere else you can try ?

Malt - Did the wig shop cut your wig, or did you have it cut somewhere else? I think my problem is that I am quite petite and the hair just seems to swamp me. Can I ask if you felt your wig looked shiny at first? Is it wishful thinking that they will tone down after a few wears?

Am going to take a look at the Rene of Paris collection now!

Tiny - I also have a Rene wig and I just got it trimed in a regular hairdressers - took it in in a bag and wore it out . I get loads of compliments and told I look years younger then with my own hair!! DOn't buy one you are not happy with as there are lots of nice options out there - keep loooking if you can. Have you been able to get a recommendation of where to go - from your BCN maybe?

Not sure about the metformin as it is all news to me but a quick google earlier revealed that there are trials being run/recruited for at the moment. It's one of those things that seems to work but it is not understood why. As I've started taking it I guess I may as well continue - will see if GP as an opinion (onc was pleased I had it).

I had mine cut where I bought it. It was a posh hairdressers with a wig room for people with hair loss, really nice environment. I've never felt mine looked shiny, it did feel really strange at first but I'm used to it now

Tiny - poor you re your wig. I have mine but hair hasn't gone yet so not wearing it. It's a rene one too and got it at a shop recommended by my BCN. They said they would be happy to cut it when I get it fitted properly.