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Original poster

*TAMOXIGANG* 43 *

993 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/10/2013 08:24

New thread !!

OP posts:
MomOfTwoGirls2 · 21/10/2013 08:32

Had 2 lovely glasses of red wine last night, first since chemo last Monday. Enjoyed them very much, thought drank them much slower than usual.

But I ended up not sleeping very well, I thought I was back sleeping properly after 2 lovely nights sleep Fri & Sat. Not sure whether to blame the wine?

DD1 stropping this morning, didn't want to wear a raincoat. I only had her (Lidl) ski jacket suitable for this mornings weather. She asked me with gritted teeth when I'm going to buy her a decent rain coat. Had to stiffle a giggle and give her stern look.

Well, that tussle has well and truly woke me up after my poor nights sleep!

smee · 21/10/2013 09:18

Ruby, running gear sounds fab. You keep busy if you can, but you are allowed to have down moments too. xx

I think I'm going to have to stop running for a bit. Breast implant seems to be sore afterwards - weirdly not both sides, just the preventative/ newer side, so am hoping it's temporary. Will have to ask Surgeon what she thinks. Small problem I know, but still Hmm

Foo, Betsy Kitkat, reconstruction is incredibly complicated. I went for what I thought was the simplest option and have had 6 operations and they're still not right. I complicated things by having preventative mx after the cancer one, but still.. Hmm

That sounds a bit intense, MAS though rather lovely too. Really hope the mindfulness does stop the aches. Are you going to try and do some daily again?

Mom, glad wine was lovely, though annoying not to sleep. How are you feeling apart from wiped out? btw, I had stroppy DS over coat today too. Got him to wear it, have come home to realised he's left his school sweatshirt behind. Cheeky monster. Grin

Hope everyone's okay today. Better get on with some work, but Brew on for all who need one. Smile

weebarra · 21/10/2013 09:21

Not a great night's sleep as DD was unsettled and up early as DSs back to school today. Lovely weekend catching up with relatives and watching my footie team with my dad. Felt almost normal.
Have my plan meeting at 11 with the heid bummer - the man is the head of the biggest cancer centre in the uk so he should know what he's on about.
Might drop into the Maggie's centre attached to the hospital too and see what they offer.

smee · 21/10/2013 09:39

Mind boggled, by 'held bummer', Wee. Grin Hope it goes well though. Sounds like you've got the top team which is great. Maggies Centres are supposed to be fab, so definitely go. You might be able to get some complementary therapies there, or at the very least a nice cuppa when you're in. Smile

weebarra · 21/10/2013 09:53

Heid bummer - big boss in Scots!

smee · 21/10/2013 09:56

Ah, I get it now! Great that you've got him. Smile

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 10:35

Morning, what a horrid soggy day! Foofoo good luck with Legoland - you might as well go on all the wet rides as you're going to be drenched anyway! Am sure you'll look great in one one those big plastic capes they provide!

Ruby - glad to hear you had a lovely weekend at home and that you're getting kitted out for running. New sports kit is always a great incentive to go and get active, especially funky running shoes Grin. I adore all the multi-coloured trainers (mine are bright purple).

Weebarra - hope your appointment today goes fantastically well for you.

Am having a sofa day. DH working, kids at school so I am watching TV and dozing. Operation no.2 has left me more tired, but I'm feeling fine. Annoying drain is still in, and I have just noticed I have some leakage from where the tube enters my armpit.....yuck. Just waiting for district nurse to come round and empty the JVac so will get her to check it over. Cannot wait for the thing to be removed, dragging a bag of blood around is so not a good look!

BetsyBoop · 21/10/2013 10:50

morning all, hope everyone is doing okay today.

just back from the hospital (glaucoma appointment this time not bad boob, eye pressure back to normal with extra drops and no more evil steroids pushing it up which is good :) )

On the way back I was listening to Woman's Hour and they had an article on reconstruction - all about a new DVD to help women decide what they want (here in case anyone is interested). The basic message was it's a very personal choice - I shall be reiterating that to my breast surgeon at my appointment tomorrow to discuss my surgery and demanding a bmx. I've got a pros/cons list and a list of evidence typed up to share with him I don't think he'll know what's hit him!

smee · 21/10/2013 10:55

Go Betsy!! Forensic intelligence spot on. Bet it'll work. Smile

Handbags, that oozing feeling's so yuk isn't it. Hope DN turns up asap and re-dresses/ tells you it's okay. how much are you draining?? is it anywhere near levels they could remove it at?

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 21/10/2013 10:55

smee the chanting is v soothing I find and I like the words (not the mis-spellings,mind!)
Aches seem to be swimming related am sure, though the elbow one might well be snb related,which I hadn't really considered until we talked about it Smile
Hope the implant discomfort can be sorted as it'd be a shame not to be running etc.
Am about to brave the wild and windy outside !

OP posts:
kitkat1967 · 21/10/2013 10:56

blimey handbags - you really need to get shot of that drain - is it still draining much? Any hope that the nurse will just remove it?

Saw that you've already done a run Ruby - I'm impressed. Running always looks calming but it's not something I enjoy. Glad you made it back to uni - take it all slowly though.

Good luck with appt Weebarra - I also didn't get Heid Bummer - but it sounds like you're in good hands.

Not a great day for me here - have major leg ache (all my own fault for overdoing it yesterday I suspect) plus have spend a large chunk of the morning on the toilet Blush. It's an expected SE of Tax but still would have prefered to be able to stay in bed!
I've managed to get showered and dressed as have a work meeting to do and it doesn't seem right to still be in PJs (they can't see me, honestly Grin).

Marshy · 21/10/2013 11:05

Hi all,
Just checking in to say hello. Have had lovely weekend with DD and will be driving her back to uni later.

She's a bit sad as her bf went back to his uni this morning and has said he won't be going to see her next week as they had planned as he doesn't want to miss out on anything social going on. She's already been to his so that feels a bit mean, though also understandable. I'm not sure how this will pan out longer term but I think there may be tears.

I was just listening to womans hour on radio 4 and they were interviewing some women who have made a film of their experiences of MX and breast reconstruction. Its on the r4 website apparently if anyone wants to check it out. I'm going to have a look later.

Seeing surgeon tomorrow to discuss next step which will be MX and possible reconstruction. At the moment I'm leaning towards implant so interested in views and experiences here. Smee sounds like it has been a challenge for you, and I know hnd has had issues too. So difficult to know what is the best thing to do.

My armpit is still quite sore. The wound has healed but it feels quite lumpy and there is a definite pulling sensation down my arm when I lift it. Doing exercises eases it a bit, but then it returns. Ongoing joy but not really complaining yes I am

Marshy · 21/10/2013 11:06

x-posts with BB!

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 11:08

Still draining quite a bit, but today looks about half as much as yesterday (was 75ml then), so hopefully she'll take it out tomorrow. Blergh, can't even look at the 'juice' - making me want to vomit.

Kitkat - respect to you working during chemo! Hope you are able to retire to bed straight after your meeting.

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 11:14

Marshy, can't find that on the R4 website, but have noticed their Book of the Week is JS reading her 'funny, honest and touching memoir'.

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 11:19

Found it now, Woman's Hour like you said! Will take a listen later.

malteserzz · 21/10/2013 11:43

Morning all
I'm reading but haven't got much to say that doesn't sound too depressing,must remember that it's the drugs and that it will pass.

kitkat1967 · 21/10/2013 11:51

Marshy - I'm vering towards an implant too but it all hinges on whether I need rads or not.

I also need to be clear in my own head whether I'd be choosing that as the best option for me rather than the 'easiest' option - thereby allowing me to finish treatment sooner. I don't want to be a few years down the road and regretting taking an easy option (does that make sense?).
I will be very disappointed if I see onc tomorrow and he hasn't made a decision on rads yet Sad - he said needs to consult with his radiologist but I did stress that even though I have not finished chemo yet i need the decision to be made so I can get planning.

Apparently it will either be a definite No in which case decision is made or boderline in which case I get to see the radiologist myself to discuss what to do. I do already know that it's not a definite Yes (I think Hmm).

Betsy - I have the impression from other sites I have browsed that a bmx is much more common in the states - almost seems available on request. I would be happy to have had one myself but do not have the same justifications as you so know it's not appropriate for me. I'll try and track down your reconstruction article now.
BTW - my BCN said she will arrange for me to meet up with ladies who have had different reconstructions to help me decide.

kitkat1967 · 21/10/2013 12:01

ah Malt - sorry you feel down again. You're right it is the drugs - you were the same last cycle - but I imagine it is worse with your DCs away. Hang on to the thought that you only have 1 more cycle to go Smile.

Handbags - I am only wfh these days (although have to go into the office tomorrow as am getting a new laptop) - I do maybe 2 or 3 hours a day. Not sure if it's been good or bad to be honest - in the early days I needed it to take my mind of things but now I am finding it hard as I'm tired and my brain is fried.

The worst thing is that some of my tasks have set timescales so i have done mad things like get up at 6am on the day of surgery to do financial processes before heading to hospital. And also came home from hospital to complete said processes. Now of course I feel committed to carrying on when to be honest I'm ready to stop - still only 6 weeks of chemo left!!

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 12:20

Kitkat you must not try to be Superwoman (even if you are!). Do you have a sympathetic boss with whom you can talk and explain that chemo tiredness has a cumulative effect, and that you are now finding it increasingly difficult to work, and that now need to stop until chemo is over? Sorry I don't know your situation and if you get decent sick-pay, but it sounds to me like you have been more-than commited to carry on as you have been, and you should now go easy on yourself.

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 12:22

Apologies if that sounds a bit 'lecture-ish' BTW.

BetsyBoop · 21/10/2013 12:22

kitkat I'd posted a link to the dvd on my earlier post - I think you can watch online (I need to get round to sorting out the flash plugin on this laptop so it wouldn't work for me). Sounded like it was good for going through all the options. They didn't actually say that much on WH itself, just two women sharing their stories (one reconstructed using LD flap one decided against recon)
I hope you get a decision on rads soon, given your changed situation I would have thought any benefit would be minimal now?

malt hang in there - remember next time you feel like this it will be the last time. The thought of only one more time really kept me going when I was flagging in my penultimate cycle. (and you can wait and see how good it feels when you know it's the last time :) )

kitkat1967 · 21/10/2013 12:29

handbags - carrying on is due to my stubborness!!! - I get full sick pay so don't need to work.

Betsy - yes minimal or no advantage of Rads - just waiting for official word on that (I've done an Amber and done my own research which confirmed that). Margins were clear and I just had that micro met in 1 node - but protocol says you don't need rads for that - node is out and I've had chemo!!!

Watching the DVDs now....

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 12:40

Respect then Kitkat! Grin

handbagsatdawn · 21/10/2013 12:43

30ml in drain, leaky bits patched up. Should be waving bye bye to it tomorrow.