hnd I am so sorry and I am not surprised you need to vent. I have no experience with teenage boys but I did have a school friend who staged a few dramatic teenage suicide attempts, a few stomach pumps and had to have her wrists sewn up. She is now a very capable Chairwoman of a certain city financial regulatory body with three children of her own and sailed through a messy divorce, one of those superwoman types, and it is hard to believe that she was ever such a mess. You can still see the scars though if you know where to look. The teenage brain seems vulnerable to getting problems out of perspective.
I can only say from that experience, and that with my mad (bipolar) friend, and indeed DH, that the brain can go some strange places. I completely understand your anger, but one thing I have learnt is that mental illness can make people incapable of seeing beyond themselves and their own (completely out of perspective) sadness, worries and anxieties. Whatever you say to them in the line of trying to bring them to their senses gets turned into another part of their baggage of woe, especially the realisation of the implications of what they have done. With mad friend we also tried writing and we still have the letter we got in reply, with bits in red and pressed so hard on the page it goes through, most of it was complete crap and very frustrating, but evidence of the dark place she was in. I do think that at the right time you have to point out these things as part of keeping them in touch with the real world and a normal perspective but in the context of also keeping them in touch with the fact they really are loved and valued. I hope your Ds and your family get support but I know it is patchy and teenage suicide attempts are too often dismissed as just that. You may need to fight for the support you feel you need via GPs etc. the problem will be that since DS is 18 they may well try to hide behind confidentiality and that they cannot discuss his case with you. However that does not preclude you from writing, repeatedly if necessary. Unfortunately GPs have widely different attitudes and knowledge of mental illness, so keep trying with others. I hope this advice isn't over the top in the circumstances. I may have got my own experiences out of perspective 
However gigs and I were commenting how good the treatment you and topsy have had in NI, hope the support for mental health problems is too.
Also feel free to vent, the group of friends who supported my mad friend through the worst highs and lows kept up a string of emails to help us cope, we refer to them as the Queen of Sheba emails.
nj hi, will be thinking of you through these next difficult weeks. The paranoia box has quite a bit in it at the mo but always room for more. House moving is of course another source of life's shit, along with death and divorce, I hope you can get through it. I think we must have had about 6 sales and purchases fall through before we nailed this house, but it was the right one in the end, still here 15 years later and it had by far the biggest garden which has turned into my passion. Anything smaller and we would have had to move again.
kk thanks, we had a good time but feel grateful to have dodged the bandits, prostitutes and protesting teachers that had Mexico City in a stranglehold....... I think the term is colourful, or perhaps terrifying..... Frida Kahlos house was a fantastic experience though, very moving. Get thy'sen on Facebook 
How are your DS and DDIL?
ruby glad you have found the cause of the headaches
gigs as you can see still on Mexico time, it's just I get up at 1 7 to get little pigeons breakfast which given I finally nod off at 12 is interesting.
Laughing at all pert boobs