Tamoxigang - 41 and counting

[KurriKurri]

Morning all, new thread, croissants on trolley, and I'll put a brew on.

I know a social worker with aloapecia (sp) not a lesbian though, topsy.

Good luck today malt.
Glad the flowers arrived, daughter of emin. Will be thinking of your family on Thursday.
Gig that is terrible about dh's work colleague. They must all be shocked.
Got my two year check tomorrow with results of mamo so a bit of paranoia here... will be at work soon and make a
Cat seems depressed, think he is pining for dd1 at uni...

Will sit on box for you jchoc and send best good vibes for tomorrow.
Betsey I sympathise with you about hot flushes -I suffered with that . Think pigeons had good tips on bedding- she has some sort of super cool mattress. I just mention it as I found night time the worst.

Given up on trying to nap so waiting on Victoria sponge in oven for big gig school treat.

Budge up Gigs, I'll sit on the box too. Pesky paranoia. Never ends, does it Jane?

Meant to post this before, but if anyone's got no nipples and interested in nipple tattoo's, the C5 doc on Nurses featured it. It's on their watch again service, so look for 'Nurses, Series 1 ep.4' Interesting as it follows a BCN who's lovely and shows some positive stories of women coming out the other side of BC treatment.

Back from chemo took a bit longer this time, 3 attempts to find a good vein but nice man I had last time got it in straight away. Think nurse I had was a bit more cautious than him and administered the chemo v slowly, she was lovely though telling me all about her wedding next year, big affair with 700 guests!
There was a lady behind a screen shouting and screaming in pain bless her think they sedated her in the end but was bit distressing for everyone
So that's the last fec, fec can fec off !
She told me tax wouldn't be as bad, just flu like symptoms, I thought Betsy might not agree !
Cold cap felt v cold now I've not got so much hair, but only hurt for 1st 10 minutes of each one so not too bad

I have 8 steroids a day to take before tax ! 8 !

Smee I will try and watch that programme sounds interesting
Jchoc I'm sure it never gets any easier waiting for results

Going to chill now and watch some trashy tv !

8 steroids -Christ on a bike , hope you don't end up like this Vietnam vet. Got a very odd look from builder as he walked past and I was googling that .

Waiting on big gig so have picnic in garden then think nana nap required. It's getting very hot here .

at Gig and her googling, but hooray for end of FEC, Malt. Excellent.

Yes hurray for the end of fec, malt.
Thanks for the paranoia box sitting. I hope that I will be able to give it a rest for another 6 months.
700 guests sounds excessive to me. What's wrong with just a few family and friends at short notice?

Lol gigs think I'd better tell everyone to avoid me that week
I wouldn't know 700 guests to invite ! Imagine the expense too
Just phoned as realised they hadn't given me any anti biotics but they said I don't need them this cycle
Downton time !

I thought that too jchoc but I got married in Vegas with photographer as witness so am at opposite end of 700 guests.

gigs Sorry you didn't sleep, was it my fault? I knew that run around Richmond Park was a bad idea! I am very sorry you heard of another tragedy last night. Life is shit but I suppose it highlights that Cancer isn't the only bugger. In fact motorbikes, roads etc are quite frequent sources of life's shittyness.

Betsy yup I can give you tips on bedding except I was absolutely drenched last night but John Lewis do a very good memory foam mattress topper with a cool pad on top. Just googled, they don't do it anymore but this sort of thing www.personalcooling.co.uk/products/cool/coolpad. The advantage with mine is that it is sooooo comfortable too, and my other post menopausal symptom is insomnia. We also have a all down summer winter duvet, so you can split it in half in summer and only have the tog 3 half. I am suffering big time from the jet lag, and it seems to have messed with my hormones too as it was all getting a little easier. It is also worse in hot weather. You probably don't want to hear it goes on but my hormones have always been on overdrive.

jchoc will be thinking of you, sadly the paranoia doesn't get much easier either...... But my bum is on the box.

malt you are so blasé about it now!

700 guests! The wedding we went to at the weekend had 250 and they had struggled to find somewhere that could cope. It was an amazing lovely wedding, the parents are the loveliest people in the world and had done everything they could to make it perfect, the video is on Facebook (or at least I think I posted on Facebook, twice but friends were still asking if I had put it up ) but I did think even 250 made it less personal, meant the two sides stay seperate more. Not that we would have been asked if it had been smaller

kitkat I hope you get the news today. I think I am glad I wasn't offered the cold cap, I am sure like smee I would have persevered whereas I have quite fond memories of being a baldy, a great source of my friend's and I's gallows humour and shocking behaviour, and, yes, I was also told I looked like a lesbian when it came back. It was actually by my gay exercise instructor and I took it as a compliment! I know that before it falls out it is such a heartbreaking thing, a symbol of all that Cancer is doing to you, but really you can have fun with it. It's another way of laughing at Cancer.

smee I have one nipple, so there!!!!

Watch it Pigeon, I might get nipple envy.

Betsy, I have a spare pillow by the side of the bed. Not v.high tech, but it's lovely to switch to when that heat hits.

Any news yet, Kitkat??

Our wedding was just us and two friends. We couldn't stand the idea of our families clucking round, so just kept it a secret. DS still doesn't know we're married as we didn't think he'd be able to keep it quiet and they'd be so cross if they knew!

yippee - just got a call to say that I am on the LGFG session on 4th October - will forgive them for waking me up from a cheeky afternon nap and for not being the consultant with my results!!

Well done Malt - keep me posted on whether your hair hangs on after this session.

our wedding was also abroad with just parents present - I'm seeing a trend for small weddings on this thread.

That's great Kitkat hope you enjoy it as much as I did
We had about 100 to our wedding it was a lovely day
Fell asleep in downton now listening to dh on a conference call and being thankful that I'm a teacher and don't have to take part in such things

Hello all,

My headache is still here my head throbs whenever I stand up or try and walk anywhere. And today's post brought my CT appointment letter for October. Yippee. I will definitely need someone to sit on the paranoia box for me nearer the time, and possibly to sit on me to stop me running away I just hate them being able to see something I can't, I'm the same with eye tests although the fact they're looking for cancer does make it worse!

DaughterofEMIN I can't imagine how hard it must be. Your mum sounds like a truly amazing person. She made such a difference to many lives and I'm sure she will be remembered fondly by many, many people. I hope that the service goes as well as it can. I'm glad you liked the flowers. I wish there was something we could do or say to make this easier for you and your family. I will light a candle too on Thursday x

ladybeagle I had capecitabine too but for stage 3 bowel cancer. I had my last dose almost two months ago and my hands and feet are still recovering so second MAS's recommendation to use lots of cream. I used a nice Neutrogena one called deep moisture comfort balm, which has helped mine quite a lot but MAS didn't have much luck with it so I guess different ones work for different people! I had nausea and diarrhoea too but there's medications you can take for those. Good news is that apparently it doesn't have much effect on the immune system.

trice I know what you mean about feeling small. I find it oddly reassuring. And it just fills me with awe.

sparkle that is very kind of you :) I don't know DS's backstory but it sounds like he's had a very difficult few years so I'm glad he is able to enjoy star gazing, I shall think of him too next time and hope that the new doctor is able to help. The other doctor sounds like an absolute dick (excuse my language) for caring more about his reputation than getting the right treatment funny that he won't feel bad for not prioritising his patients' needs

malt yay for last FEC! :) but bugger about veins - do they give you a warm wheat bag thingy beforehand? Enjoy Downton :)

Waving to everyone else, my post is getting long so shall leave it there for now! :) x

smee when did you secretly get married ?
Ours was v small, family and 4 friends - nice and simple.
Hooray for end of fec malt and goodness,yes you are very laid back about it all these days !
Friend sent me some chocolate from Paris and a v nice journal (she lived there and went back for a day to see a friend) and another friend sent print of a picture she'd done of me - am very lucky.

poo about headache and imminent CT scan ruby - will sit on the box for you x

Topsy - or should I call you pc plum.....love that photo
Gigs - sorry to hear about your dh's friend. Awful news.
Smee - ds still loves to save the world which now often involves him shooting me with his soft dart nerf gun.....dh thought it was a good idea...mind you when I disarm him and chase him with it it is mildly satisfying!
MAS - how are dh ds and celeste?

Our wedding was small 15 people including us and niece and god children. Had a bbq at home for the reception. Lovely day.

Our wedding was small 15 people including us and niece and god children. Had a bbq at home for the reception. Lovely day.

If I ever get married it's going to be huge. Just my close family comes to almost 100. I wouldn't want to not invite any of them. I wouldn't want anything fancy or too expensive, just a marquee with a barbecue/buffet and, most importantly, a giant inflatable slide everyone else's weddings sound lovely and romantic though, I can definitely see the appeal of a small, intimate one :)

Thank you MAS I'm okay about it for now, I'm trying to look on it as a positive. I'm driving myself mad though. Part of me thinks if I say everything will be okay that will work like a positive affirmation, and the other part thinks that is tempting fate! I know in reality it probably makes no difference but if something does show up then I worry that I will forever think I did the wrong thing if that makes sense!

:) for friends send lovely things.

kitkat yay of LGFB, it's really fun. If you've lost your eyebrows or eyelashes they have some really good tips for drawing them on :) plus the goodies are fab. I got a Chanel lipstick which I am in love with!

For now I shall take a turn on the paranoia box for everyone who needs it :)

sparkle Celeste is lovely and naughty and cuddly and dh is fine, ds off to 6th form college tomorrow,which is a bit of a shock as he's nearly a grown up !

Sorry to hear about your headache and ct appointment ruby but when you get married don't forget our invites
Mas hope ds enjoys sixth form college, I had the letters about mine starting secondary school next year, another milestone

Been so hot here today quite relieved it's cooling down now

Ruby I know exactly what you mean, I think we all wrestle with whether our thoughts can tempt fate and make the worst happen, or not happen. Do you dwell on the worst and make yourself paniced and miserable because if you don't it is bound to happen? or not? or do you say it is all going to be OK and it won't happen, or will it? l think that given all the paranoia and panics I have just about reached the point where there is no point worrying about what you cannot change / hasn't happened yet. I have done my share of lying awake in a cold sweat of fear and it didn't make the slightest difference, sometimes the shit happens, and sometimes it doesn't. I can keep that up until a few hours before results at which point I have to take my head out of the sand and become a quivering wreck and I have yet to meet anyone who can do anything about that. Mind you I think I am probably a particularly bad case since the Receptionist for my Hong Kong Consultant took to mouthing it's OK when I arrived, and Chinese people almost never depart from protocol, least of all out of humanity. I just think I was upsetting the harmony of the waiting room quivering and looking white as a sheet with fear

We had about a hundred to our wedding, in a marquee (we moved the muck heap) and it was a great do with a big band from the local teacher training college. They were fantastic, there was a great lead singer and three girls doing the chorus and a full brass ensemble, I still can't hear Daddy Cool without remembering their version and wanting to bop. There were 25 of them and they charged us £100, all the guests kept slipping them £25 to perform longer! So basically our band was courtesy of all those parents forking out on brass and singing lessons all those years, and playing in the church band (it was a Cof E college) I often wonder what became of them, the lead singer left but the following year they played at a ball I went to up there and they had another just as good. I suppose they are probably all teaching and accompanying / producing the school musicals etc.

Masterchef soon, will Les cry? DH hates Janet Street Porter he keeps saying how annoying she is which has become very annoying. She is apparently too opinionated and a moaner, takes one to know one