Tamoxigang - 41 and counting

[KurriKurri]

Morning all, new thread, croissants on trolley, and I'll put a brew on.

Just a quick update, today has been awful... We all keep expecting EMIN to appear at any second and our poor dad is broken bless him but trying his best to be strong for me, my sister, my brother and my son.

We have arranged her funeral for next Thursday and we have been looking through photographs for the order of service she wanted. We have tentatively picked her flowers - with freesias and lillies of course or we would be in trouble!!! - and spent a bit of time reminiscing because she may be gone but she will never ever be forgotten.

However, what I really wanted to say was thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for the absolutely beautiful flowers that you sent us. My mum would have adored them and she would have been so proud that you thought to do this for her. She loved receiving flowers probably more than any other gift you could get her so to see this wonderfully smelling bouquet in her honour is heartwarming and we will never forget your kindness at a time when we are so sad.

To read all of the many messages on mumsnet for her also brings us some comfort too. We were all astounded that there were so many for her and I know she would have been both touched and as proud as punch that you thought of her. So again, I can't thank you enough on behalf of the family xx

Mas is on capecetabine for lung secondaries Lady B , I'm sure she'll be along to give you the low down .

Gigs ?
Young Montalbano ???
When and where ?
I must be told immediately !!!

Oh Daughter of EMIN , I'm crying for you and your family , and all you have lost xxx

Daughter EMIN - The flowers sound beautiful, I hope you managed to find photos which go someway towards showing Earth's life. Much love x

gigs I should not have let you entice me here with suggestions the tone had been lowered, it will take a long time to get those white Y fronts out of my mind..........

Sometimes I hope it all goes well for you and DS next week. You are so right, exactly what gigs and I were saying at lunch, enjoy the moment, preferably without Cliff doing an impersonation of a 70s porn star.....

ruby Fashion workshop sounds exciting. Hope you feel better soon.

DH got inspired by Masterchef and made an apple and blackberry pie today (my apples and blackberries of course) lets just say Brian and Les have no competition. He ran out of (ready made) pastry doing the bottom and so ripped it up in little bits and stuck them randomly across the fruit. I suppose it had a certain modernist effect, less pie and more installation, challenging convention. I should take a picture shouldn't I?

We have a company coming tomorrow to remove a wasps nest from outside big pigeons window. I realised this morning they are called MAN Pest removal, it may have been a Freudian choice. So I am wondering if something else will be dealt with apart from the wasps ("retired manpests a speciality"?) evil

I'm sorry daughter I crossposted. I know that the process of organising a funeral can be cathartic and I hope all goes well. You are in all our thoughts.

I'm glad that you received the flowers Emins daughter, lots of love x

DaughterofEmin - thank you for your update, I send you and your family much love and strength for the sad days ahead. You are all in our thoughts - I hope you get some comfort from knowing how loved your Mum was even by people who only knew her over the internet.

She will be greatly missed, I know from her posts on here that she was immensely proud of her family, and she had every reason to be. As you must be so proud of her.

Peace and love for next Thursday, I know we will all be thinking of you and lighting a candle in memory of dear EMIN xx

daughterofemin am so pleased that the flowers brought some light and comfort - your mum was very much loved and respected here.
We will think of you all and EMIN on Thursday and really hope that the planning and organising are helpful in helping you through the next week -am sure it'll be a wonderful tribute.

Waves to dear sparklerainbow - and lots of good vibes for your boy - I'm fine
ladybeagle I am on my 16th course of capecitabine and it's ok really - I hate and resent taking it - and I do get tired/nausea/sometimes diarrhoea and I did suffer very badly from the sore hands and feet until the dose was reduced- they are still not right but weirdly am used to it - just smother them with cream (you can get stuff on prescription but I prefer nice stuff that doesn't smell of hospital) Ask away if there's anything else you want to know.

Have spent a joyful time reading the thread about staying at PILs - so much reminded me of staying with MIL - lots of it is very funny !

DaughterofEmin we'll be thinking of you next Thursday. Not a lot of use in a way, but there will be candles lit all round the country by us all x

LadyB, sorry it's all so confusing for you. Must be daunting to face it all. A call to Macmillan for support and someone to talk it through with sounds like a plan.

Pigeons, good luck with the man pest removal.

Young Montalbano?? Is he cute?

Waves to Sparkle. How is your lovely boy? Is he still into saving the world? Hope the girls are good and that you're okay. Lovely to see you back here.

LadyBeagle - I am on my 5th cycle of capecitabene. They have worked wonders for me. I have gone from breathless in a wheelchair to walking 5000 steps a day in just three months. My lung mets have shrunk marvellously. I feel almost normal again.

With regards to gbbo, I can't believe what a mess they made of the floating islands! I am not one for cooking but floating islands are one of the things I can do, they are pretty straightforward, very few ingredients. Perhaps the time pressure messed them up? I couldn't do a petit four though, my macaroons are never shiny. My trifle would be far too boozy for Paul, it tastes of Harvey bristol cream with custard, cream and jam in it.

Ruby - I love to watch the skies too. I find that it makes me feel terribly small, but full of wonder at all that beauty.

Daughter of emin-I am glad the flowers brought some comfort but will also be thinking of you all over the coming days.

Smee-looks ok from stills but check it out on Saturday bbc4 9pm.

Can't sleep as think over did it . Thinking of emin and also dh came home to say work colleague killed on motorbike holiday in New Zealand. He was lovely guy ( "normal" in mr gig words which is praise). Think today is definitely a busy day for losing the good ones.

Back to carb loading (may draw the line at manpie as nit site even my steroids can cope with that) and junk tv.

Morning all
Gigs sad about dhs work colleague too
Awake early, off for chemo this morning. Not particularly worried just so bored of the whole thing now, want to go to work and go on holiday and be normal
Hope Betsy is feeling better this morning

? That's way to think of chemo malt. What you got to read or look at to pass the time?

Couldn't get to sleep for ages last night so am shattered. Going to get big gig off to school (if I can prise her away from her books about fairies that she has just discovered and is glued to).

Then it's quiet day and out for dinner with dh later.

Malt - had a chat with my DH last night and decided if I go back on chemo then I will not continue with the cold cap. It was getting painful (and therefore adding more stress to the process) and my hair is so thin now it's not really presentable anyway.

If my post-op results have come in then I will be discussed in an 8am team meeting today and the consultant will ring me later and I'll know the next steps (it's a bit too soon really but they said there was a chance). If not then it'll be next week.

I don't find time to do anything during the chemo gigs as the nurse is sat infront of me the whole time so I just chat to them and dh. Hope you can rest today lol at the fairies !
Kitkat that must have been a hard decision but I understand I'm expecting it to be painful today

trice that's my kind of trifle Meant to add to ladybeagle that my mets have all shrunk considerably on capecitabine.
Hope chemo goes well today malt

Last time I was in the unit there was a very glam lady, bald as an egg, but her outfit and makeup were impeccable. She made me envious, she looked great. Confidence is definitely the best look on anyone. Difficult to pull off for most of us though.

Malt, good luck with chemo session.
Kitkat, good luck with results.

Good luck today Malt , you are so blasé now - that's great !

I rocked the bald and proud look
Mainly because the height of my baldness happened mid summer , and I was just too damn hot to put anything on my head !!!

Topsy - you're right about the weather - i think I would be able to wear a wig in the winter but no way could I have put up with it over the summer. I still think I would only bother when going out though - may get round to ordering one of those seasalt scarves now it's getting cooler.

I struggled with wig as was summer too so was bald at home( and out and about when got some growth back) but used scarves .

Had turban look, pirate look and some pre tied ones that sound like sea salt ones.

Personally topsy I think your best ever look was in the pc plum hat. We need to revive that FB photo.

God I need more . And builders here (tho do seem to be progressing )

Good luck today malt - one more under your belt

Gigs - so sorry about your friend - what a dreadful thing to happen

Kitkat - I think you are wise - no point in adding stress to an already stressful thing - and if its not really working (it didn't work for me either and I abandoned it) there's no point. Hair grows back quite quickly once chemo finishes, Like topsy I rocked the bald look - and although I got a bit of head tilting, most people didn't stare

Am out all day, so have a good day everyone xx

My sister kindly told me I looked like a lesbian social worker , when I was bald ...

Well I'm feeling almost human again today, if a little wobbly on my feet Wow that was an "interesting" few days!

I've just seen on FB about the flowers for EMIN, you lovely ladies. I'm so sorry I missed all that, I would have been (and would be still) happy to contribute.

Another one crossed of today malt, half way :)

gigs so sorry to hear about DHs colleague, life just isn't fair sometimes.

kitkat it would be good to get your resuts so quick, less time to think about it? Sounds like a good decision re cold cap - that was part of my reasoning too, why make it more difficult than it needs to be.

I must admit I only wear a scarf outside, and that's too damn hot most of the time (I seem to be the hot flush queen atm, I thought you were supposed to feel cold on chemo?!) I don't think I could stand wearing a wig, so good decision for me there. (not brave enough to go bald out of the house.)

I will try and get my self up to date with where everyone is at...

kitkat, hope they do call. Always good to know what's next. I think the cold cap decision sounds sensible too. I had a bad reaction to it and threw up each time, so that made chemo sessions far more horrid than they had to be. I stubbornly persisted, but have no idea why really.

Betsy, great to hear you're feeling a bit better today, though take it easy won't you.

Hope you're back soon Malt and that's another one done.

Hot here. Am strangely looking forward to the rain promised for the weekend and the chance to wear more clothes.