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Original poster

Tamoxigang - 41 and counting

994 replies

KurriKurri · 20/08/2013 09:55

Morning all, new thread, croissants on trolley, and I'll put a brew on.

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 29/08/2013 12:52

kk have a wonderful time hobnobbing Grin we'll miss you...much love xxxx

BetsyBoop · 29/08/2013 13:21

amber and gigs - Thanks for the info on supplements, I'm making a list!

Have a great time KK

Off to be poisoned shortly, see you on the other side :)

amberlight · 29/08/2013 14:06

Good luck Betsy!

malteserzz · 29/08/2013 14:14

Yes good luck Betsy hope it goes smoothly
Been shopping, bought a hat for windy days when I'm watching football, walking etc
Also got some sunglasses in the sale as mine have broken
Dh pleased, thought he was having the snip on Saturday but it's only a consultation so he can pick his new car up without being sore!
Just watched another downton preferred the first series it's getting a bit silly but still enjoying it

reallyreallyworried · 29/08/2013 14:37

Hi all

I am officially having my first major wobble, since being diagnosed 3weeks ago tomorrow Sad

I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow to discuss the lumpectomy and removal of some lymph nodes. According to my breast care nurse there are two ways that they can do this, depending on how I would like my breast to look afterwards. In all honesty right now, I don't care how it looks I just want this lump out of my body Sad

I know how pathetic I am being, especially when I read through what some of you are going through! I just wish there weren't any decisions to make, I wish the surgeon would just tell me what she needs to do! In fact I wish I could go to sleep and wake up after the surgery, when it's all done. Although even then it's not over, then I have to wait to hear what my treatment plan is.

I have managed up to today, carrying on like nothing is happening, but now it seems so real. I have cancer Sad and it's not just going to disappear if I don't think about it.

I'm sad that I am going to be missing work, because right now I just want to carry on as normal.

Sorry for the long winded moan! Now to snap out of it and write my list of questions that I want to as my surgeon and BCN tomorrow. Any thoughts of things that are important to ask, would be gratefully received. Right now my mind has gone blank, and as I am going by myself tomorrow I haven't even got someone else to ask questions that I might of forgotten.

Hope everyone is having an okay day. Thanks for listening.

Xxxx

amberlight · 29/08/2013 14:50

Hi Really
If you are so minded, please tell me what you know about your breast cancer so far. How big, what sort, where is it in the breast? What have they said? Then I reckon a few can give you some decent advice if we've been through similar for similar ones.
A wobble is entirely natural. It's a heck of an eek to find out it's cancer, because of course everyone thinks they're a gonner. But, as we know, 9 out of 10 are still fine in five years and probably much much longer, now. The more we know, the more we can reassure you or help you know what to ask.
Meantime, have a Brew. Some out for everyone else too.

MaryAnnSingleton · 29/08/2013 14:53

good luck betsy x
reallyreally a hug for you - you'll get through it though. Remember that the surgery will remove all of the cancer it will be out of your body-and if any stray bits are in the nodes then they can be treated very effectively too. Whereabouts is your lump ? Mine has left a definite dent but frankly am not bothered really -the scar is really neat which is good.
I think when things get real,like surgery or chemo,then it all becomes quite scary,that's natural. Really hope tomorrow goes well and take the time to think about the options they give - remember life does go on afterwards and you might be pleased that you picked the op with the most pleasing results. Am not meaning to be glib,just wanted you to know that you'll come out the other end.

malteserzz · 29/08/2013 15:13

Really you're not pathetic at all x
I'm glad they didn't give me any options with my treatment, they just told me what needed to be done. I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy and my boob looks the same size and shape just have a near scar and another under my arm. I said just take it all off I think when you have cancer you don't really care what it's going to look like but they said a mx wasn't necessary
The op was fine, I felt groggy the next day from the GA but had lots of painkillers prescribed which I didn't need.
They do have to make sure they get clear margins with a lumpectomy it seems quite common to have to have more removed because they haven't achieved this, you could ask about that

kitkat1967 · 29/08/2013 16:13

Hi Really - I know what you mean about choices - it would be much to just be told what needs to be done.

I made a choice on Tuesday not to have a node clearance - I do hope that doesn't come back to haunt me Sad.

And I suspect in a couple of weeks I will be given a choice whether to complete my chemo course or not - at the moment I'm hoping it will be clear cut and they'll just tell me but I suspect not.

PictureThis · 29/08/2013 16:58

ReallyReally I am pretty sure we all felt the same as you initially. I remember wanting to run away, out of my body and leave all the madness of the diagnosis and the prickle of fear that was becoming all too common a sensation, behind me. It does change, you do adjust. As kurri wisely said to me the other day when I was having a wobble, "one day at a time". These wonderful ladies will see you through.

BetsyBoop · 29/08/2013 21:00

really - as everyone has said it's normal to feel like that, we've all been there to varying degrees. One day at a time, this too will pass and all that. :)

Well 4 down 2 to go - uneventful apart from a bit of a wait for treatment - but as the onc nurse explained due to the BH on Monday they are trying to fit 5 days worth of patients into 4 days this week...

Saw my onc today too and he still sees happy with how things are progressing, my "bad" boob is obviously visibly smaller than my "good" boob and the tumour is a lot softer now, both of which he reckons are signs the chemo has been doing its job. He has also okayed me popping into school just before my next chemo so I can catch up with my 1-2-1 (I'm a TA) which will be good

kitkat1967 · 29/08/2013 21:55

Good news Betsy. Is the nausea less than it was on FEC? You're 2/3 done now.Smile

malteserzz · 29/08/2013 22:14

Kitkat if you really needed the node clearance they wouldn't have given you the choice, tis natural to worry though I'd be the same
Betsy glad that's another one done Smile
I'm off to bed, shattered after getting up at 7.15, all holiday I've gone back to sleep after dh left for work till about 9 !
Night all x

BetsyBoop · 29/08/2013 22:15

only feeling the teeniest bit icky kitkat and that's probably all in my head still on the emend/ondanestron/cyclizine combi, my onc isn't taking any chances!

Lilymaid · 29/08/2013 22:26

I've also just had chemo no 4 (though of 8 rather than 6 so will only be finished th e cycle in Decemer!)
I'm drinking loads of water to avoid being as miserable as I was last time round.
Hope those currently taking steroids get a decent night's sleep.

kitkat1967 · 29/08/2013 23:02

Betsy - when my onc canned my chemo I woke up the next morning with absolutely no nausea for the first time in weeks so it just shows how much can be psychological!!
With my positive head on I have convinced myself that if I go back on chemo it will only be for 3 cycles and after having a break it will be like just doing a mini set of chemo.

reallyreallyworried · 30/08/2013 05:50

Thanks for the support and reassurance that how I am feeling is 'normal'. It's really helped.

Managed to get a bit of sleep last night. Will be glad when I have spoken to the surgeon and know what is going to happen. I think my anxiety comes from the unknown!

Anyway I should try and get a little more sleep. Good luck to those of you having surgery or treatment today. Sending positive vibes your way Smile

Xxxx

kitkat1967 · 30/08/2013 06:04

Morning. Am wide awake even though alarm set for 7 - last food is 7:30 so am hanging on for a bit to have my brekkie.

foofooyeah · 30/08/2013 06:08

reallyreally - you hit the nail on the head when you said anxiety comes from the unknown. In the early days after diagnosis there are so many tests and discussions its actually a relief when treatment is decided and started.

BetsyBoop · 30/08/2013 06:09

I think my anxiety comes from the unknown.

Nail on the head there really :) The wise ladies here said the me it get easier once you have a plan, and they were right. Once you start on the plan you get so busy putting one foot in front of t'other every day your anxiety lessens again. There will be bumps along the way (like when you get you post op results and the next bit of you plan can be decided) but it really does get a bit easier.

For qu a friend of mind asked her I onc (when given choices and couldn't decide) "if it was your wife in my shoes what would you advise her to do?" which I thought was a cool ( if cheeky!) qu.

Has your BCN talked through the possible scenarios from a lumpectomy and SNB? Ie ideally wanting clear margins and no nodes and what will happen if you don't get that result?

I find it really helps to jot down qus (and their answers) so I don't forget stuff.

Well I managed to sleep from 10pm to 5;30am so no steroid insomnia here last night. :)

foofooyeah · 30/08/2013 06:10

Went to clinic yesterday and confirmed that I would be starting chemo (FEC) on 11th Sep. Glad now have decision and date.

Lovely day planned with pub lunch with a friend who is over from Italy then another friend coming round this evening - though as I woke up at 5am (as usual atm) may have to fit in an afternoon nap/

BetsyBoop · 30/08/2013 06:12

After my book long post I completely forgot I'd logging in originally to say Good Luck to kitkst thinking of you today ;)

foofoo x-post but heart minds and all that re nail and head ;)

BetsyBoop · 30/08/2013 06:14

-hesrt great , damn chubby fingers phoneGrin

kitkat1967 · 30/08/2013 06:16

Good news that you managed to sleep Betsy. Am watching closely as am convinced that I'll be on T at some point.

BetsyBoop · 30/08/2013 06:18

Definitely make the most of the days before chemo foofoo great you have a start date though (well not great, because great would be not needing it at all, but you kwim !)