********The 37th Tamoxifen Thread, Fun and Tears in "Cancerland" *****

[Copthallresident]

Trolley Rolled over and "Its a small small world" playing on the ipod on repeat.

It wasn't nice Ruby but at the time (following a mastectomy that needed opening up again after surgery left a bleeder behind, then waking up to all this fluid literally pouring away) I was about ready to run away and hide.

I had a lovely visit from one of our foster placements yesterday, lo is almost 4 years old now, left us at 4.5 months and her parents have been wonderful keeping in touch since her adoption.
I love to see how they are progressing. During the early days and weeks with a new placement I always used to crochet a blanket if lo was having a sleepless night and this would go with them when they moved on.
It was perhaps, a stretch of my imagination, but I liked to think the lo's would associate the colourful bands of wool with me rocking their bouncy chair.

It has been lovely to have visits and see photo's of this one still carrying around "blankie" confirming this

My MacMillan nurse was concerned enough yesterday to ring my G.P. and request a home visit because my feet/ankles were very swollen but he seemed more worried my thyroid area is also very swollen, and he is going to request another scan

Earth it must be lovely to see the children who you looked after growing up and doing well

I just rang the Bcn who said they only like to drain seromas when they get uncomfortable, Im only aware of mine when I touch it do it fine to leave it. There's a seroma clinic on Tuesday which I can go to if it's uncomfortable by then but she said it might come and go
What's everyone up to today? Not much here, mum is coming round in a bit to do the ironing !

Earth meant to say sorry you need another scan x

It's a lovely feeling especially if they have memories of you. A lot of them won't remember us at all because they would have been so young when they left us.

Re the seroma, that may be why I had to keep going back to have mine drained because it leaked and was a pain to keep dry. The scan is definately a pain

morning all - catching up with all your posts

Hope the op went well Smee and you are home and snuggled up with sweeties and DVDs.

Malt - how is the seroma today? - I had a little bit of seroma under my arm/ round my chest, - it appeared on a friday, BC nurse said come to seroma clinic on monday if it was still troublesome, but by then it had righted itself and dispersed. If it is very squelchy and annoying you, you could get it drained, but if it is only a bit, it may well sort itself out.

Earth sorry you have swelling problems, - scan is a bugger, but best they find out what is going on so they can sort it. Tales of your little foster children are lovely, - how nice to have made them little blankies, - must be lovely to see the blankies still being loved

Gig and MAS - sorry to hear about stiffness and achyness, - sending unachy vibes to both.

DH in London today, so set the alarm for 5 a.m. also had to get up to give old lady dog her pills (she is on various medications atm which have t be given at various times in the day, - one of the pills makes her wee excessively, - so that is fun - we have had a couple of accidents!)

Am just off to village shop to raid their fresh cake tray for DD and I to have with our coffee - will buy extra for the trolley (can't say what it will be - some of the creations are quite strange, custard-coconut-bakewell-surprise cream layer etc etc )

swelling not fun earth -hope it can be sorted for you.
gig you're probably right, was working at my desk for quite a long time yesterday - gah !
T is doing a maths exam,then a maths lesson then home, so must find lunch for him (and me) Am not going to buy nutella ! Am still a bit obsessed by croissants. Maybe peanut butter on some nice french bread ?

Looking for news from smee, and sending waves of sympathy to all with aches, seromas, badly behaved wounds and scans. x

Dd (9) has started playing with some kids who are new to the area: they are - ahem - lively. Earlier this week one (8) was accused of threatening another (11) with a knife

Dd said this was a lie. When pushed, she admitted that he had brought out a knife 'but it was only a butter knife and he didn't threaten him he only showed him' WTF??????? I put her straight on knives.

Next day, these two total non-swimmers turned up alone at our swimming pool where I was swimming and tried to tell the lifeguard that it was OK because they were with me. Soon put them right on that and they were made to get out.

Since then they have been to my house every day after school asking to come in, even after I have had them in for a bit and sent them home for the evening. They just don't take 'No' as 'No' unless I start getting really firm, which is a shame. Don't want to be a cow, but I really don't feel these are kids that I want dd to be mixing with much.

Oh God, I need to find a way to put a bit more distance between us and them, don't I? .....

Seroma feels fine thanks I wouldn't know it was there until I touch it.
Mums been to do the ironing and we walked to the shops I'm now catching up with the secret life of cats from last night.Id love to know where mine goes when she goes out !

Sometimes, think you've just got to be firm with kids like that. My ds (9) also has a few friends I'm not sure about, he's no angel but he does come home when they're doing things he knows he's not allowed to. The swimming thing would have wound me up too, where were their parents and why did they think it was ok for non swimmers to go to the pool by themselves, grr
MAS did you resist with the nutella ? Peanut butter is also delish
Kurri what cakes did you get for the trolley, anything interesting ?

Helloooo am stuck for now waiting for antib's from pharmacy and BCN with drains. All went well though apparently and I was only a teeny bit sick. Been in so often the anaesthetists remember me now. They even came to see me this morning which was v sweet of them.

Sorry not to catch up more but am hurling giant chocolate buttons into trolley for all. Thanks so much for all your lovely messages. You lot are lovely.

Think you are right Malt, thanks!

Hiya smee glad you are feeling OK, and have nice anaesthetists. Sometimes there are benefits to being a frequent flier.....

Pouring, cold and with thunder and lightning here. Just read the latest long range weather forecast which is for another really shitty summer.

smee lovely to hear from you and hope you're not waiting long, nice of them to visit and glad you weren't too sick :)

sometimes definitely sounds like they need a bit of distance, at butter knife and parents letting them go swimming without supervision! Just be very firm and hopefully they'll soon find someone else to bother. :( about summer forecast! Was hoping for lots of sunshine this year.

gigs I'm meant to take one of the, before 4pm but fell asleep so ended up taking it later, wasn't sure if I was meant to leave it until next day or just take anyway so thought what the hell and took it. Baaaad idea fell asleep again soon after 7 though and had a lovely sleep until 11.45. I hope you feel less achey soon, how is the wound doing?

MAS hope T's exam went well and you found something yummy for lunch, also hope you feel less achey now!

Kurri what magical cakes have you found? Hope old lady dog is doing okay after her accidents :)

malt fingers crossed it goes away on its own then :) but good to know the clinic is there if needed.

Any word from Figgy lately? Hope MrFiggy is doing well.

I'm just doing some damage control after last night's roid rage incidents, luckily nothing too bad. Oddly I woke up this morning with a strong ambition to become ordained in C of E church wouldn't be so weird apart from that I'm a confirmed Catholic, although not exactly a very serious one! :)

Noooo, don't do it, Ruby

Smee - hurrah!

Afternoon all. I've dumped a load of things I was responsible for. Feel much better for it. You might be getting a sensible post from me soon. Or not....

well done amber
sometimes grrr about those children - yes, a bit of distance would be good idea.
No lunch yet, must dash out in a sec.
smee how nice of anaesthetists - glad you weren't too sick afterwards and hope everything drains nicely !

Yeah smee You have now joined that exclusive club that regularly get new boobies just don't be tempted to get double Gs next time!

Glad to hear it went well and I am sure they are going to be fabulous daaarling.

sometimes The swimming incident was to say the least cheeky . It's difficult to know whether to and how to intervene. A stalker child moved into our block in Hong Kong and attached herself limpet like to Little Copt and her friend. As soon as they got off their school bus the phone would ring and she was asking them up to sleepover, the mother was always away, the father, erm , well built, goatee beard, black leather jacket AND trousers, don't want to judge a book by it's cover but and there were some very racy older sisters, the child was always dressed like a porn star. I was a bit pathetic, just always invited her to stay with us instead and discussed with Little Copt how to handle her, she was always trying to divide and conquer, but the aussie mum of Little Copt's friend was more direct and told the poor child to sling her hook. I still think talking it through with them is better if you can, help them to learn how to handle these situations, Little Copt still occasionally mentions what a sad child she was underneath her brashness and manipulation. But then Little Copt shows far too much empathy, I like to think it will be an assett when she is older but it made her a target for every attention seeking madam at her old school, so perhaps a lesson in telling people to sling their hook would have been better. We still have a quite ridiculous number of Balinese cat figures that her mother traded which the poor child tried to buy their friendship with.

EMIN How lovely to have played such an important role in their life, the blankies are such a thoughtful touch, it brought a tear to my eye. Another scan is stressful but it is better to find out what is happening, hope the swelling goes down.

KK WHERE'S MY CAKE

Hurray for smee ! Can't stop just checking in. Waves and snickers on trolley.

Yay amber well done for making that decision, far better to take on only what you can do and do it well than to spread yourself thinly and run yourself into the ground :) and don't worry, I don't think I have what it takes at all, just woke up and thought I'm going to be a priest shall blame the steroids. It's always lovely to hear from you so do pop in when you get a chance but no pressure :)

MAS hope you manage to find something tempting for lunch

Steroids have a lot to answer for Ruby - hope you are feeling Ok and less wired now - they always made me feel very antsy too.

Smee - lovely to hear from you, and that you weren't too sick after GA, hope you aren't waiting for your tablets to long xx

Sometimes - it is so hard when your kids take up with someone you are not so keen on (DS was great one for that!) - you don;t want to control their friendships, but I do think you have to do exactly what you are doing, drum into DD what your rules and her boundaries are, and don't accept any behaviour from the friends that doesn't meet those standards. Do you think the boys parents are encouraging them hanging round DD, in the hope that you will provide free child care?

malt - glad the seroma is Ok, - lovely that your mum is close by to give you a hand, she sounds great

MAS - I resisted croissants from the shop this morning - they are my downfall too!
I did manage to get cream filled yum yums (very very sickly - DD and I shared one as they were too rich) I also have some jelly babies, and some cherry bakewells, - they did have some massive raisin 'cookies' - which were seriously about an inch and a half thick - you'd have had to have a jaw like a snake to get them in your mouth!

I am supposed to be going on a drawing and sketching day on one of tthe Broads tomorrow (friend is taking several of us in her camper van) although I haven't heard from her so not sure it is still on. Hopefully we won't get torrential downpours like we had here yesterday.

Pressed post by mistake

ruby at least you have the excuse of steroids, the rest of us piled in with no such excuse

mas Are t's exams still GCSEs and the Maths lesson for another one? I hope it all goes well. Sitting at a desk all day would make you achey.

Little Copt got her predicted grades yesterday. Its impossible to predict how she has actually done, however hard she works and however well she understands it all, there are always issues on the day that can sink her, but they often stick with the A2 predictions in spite of AS results. What they are predicting opens up for her to apply to every course she is interested in, all very lowly regarded in mumsnet land though (but I don't care if it is what she loves) History of Art! So I am really pleased and relieved for her.

Lots of posts today !
Smee so glad to hear it went ok hope you get home soon
Ruby what a strange urge to wake up with lol, hope you're feeling ok today
Amber sounds a good idea to drop a few things you make me tired just reading about what you're up to!
Kurri my mum has been a great help with me and with the kids, I am lucky
Copt well done to little copt, who cares what people think if she's thinking of doing a course she likes.Does she want to study far away from home, I'm dreading mine moving away and have a few years yet ( as long as I'm still here)

Hope everyone has a good afternoon

Thanks, all, (as always) for the support.x

Ooh good for Little Copt!

KK - I'm not sure the parents are quite that calculating. There are many, many kids in the family (well into double figures, I think ) and I think they are all just allowed to roam around as and where they will during the hours of daylight. If free childcare happens - great - but if they are just out of sight and mind on their own, also fine. I think my first mistake was being a willing provider of snacks

I'm going to keep providing dd with alternative entertainments and hope that the level of contact drops to a manageable level. As you say, you don't want to totally manage their friendships, but sometimes a bit of a nudge in the right direction is in order.

Have I missed a roid punch up?? Where was that, then?

Goodness me, you've been chatty since I was last on here! I'll catch up in a mo, but first the long awaited update from my BCN

MRI scan showed left breast was clear. Right breast has what appears to be multiple tumours, 7cm, 2.5cm, 2cm. ER+, PR+, HER-, no grading info.

FNA on dodgy looking lymph node came back clear.

So it's chemo first - she has already requested an urgent onc appt & hopes that will be next week some time.

They will still want to do a full mx + auxillary clearance after chemo due to size & spread of tumours.

I will also be getting appts for bone/liver/chest/heart scans through shortly.

I forgot to ask what chemo regime, but I'm sure onc will go through that with me. Is there anything else I should have asked?

Betsy I'm glad you have your results. I'm sure someone more knowledgable than me will come along in a minute to help but are you feeling a bit better now you know and there is a plan ? The fact that the node was clear sounds good to me too

betsy am v glad you've heard at last and hooray for a clear node xx
T's last few GCSEs are maths and Geography (2 x maths I think) 3 in all as far as I can tell..
Lunch has been soda bread with peanut butter and one piece with some blue cheese (I know am not meant to have it according to chemo nurse but pah !) and T and I share a bear's claw from the Waitrose cafe ,oh and I might have some yogurt. More work this pm, but I'll get up and walk bout every so often.

Betsy, I'm afraid I'm no help on what you should have asked, but it sounds like you got plenty of information to me. You won't get details of the chemo regime from anyone except the oncologist.

The clear node is very, very good news so well done you. I hope you feel better now you have a plan.

If you do think of any questions over the next few days, well, that's what the BCN is for, so just give her a ring. Or she may phone you: sometimes they do after a treatment or an important set of results, just to see if you need anything clarified or repeated.

Betsy The clear node and ER+ and PR+ are good news. Did they mention hormone therapy or are you post menopausal? If not I would have thought it was worth asking about it. Chemo sometimes but not always throws you into menopause, but it didn't for a couple of my friends. Starving your tumours of those hormones can only be a good thing.