Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Alcoholics or Dependant Drinkers Club

791 replies

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 12:43

For SoftStuff, tyedye and anyone else who wants to join.

The rules are that you HAVE to sign in every night to let us know TRUTHFULLY how much you have drunk. You need to let us know your triggers too. So if you resisted for 12 hours but then cracked and had a beer - what finally snapped?

We'll be here to give you encouragement, support, advice and opinions.

OP posts:
butty · 28/04/2006 12:26

Hi 7up,

sorry if sounding down today, just having one of those wake up call days that tends to dissapear within the hour!!!

My ds has moderate to severe global develoment delay, moderate to severe hypotonia, he is able to walk 15 steps or so, but is totally unbalenced and has to wear a safety helmet, will probably be in a wheelchair throughout his life, he has severe learning difficulties and is unable to speak.
he is such a happy boy with a positive sense of humour and he is so loving and gentle, i dont let his problems get me down to much, it's more the thought of what next.

My dd has oppositional defiance disorder and very much a handful.

It's not the children that make me drink, its the out look and prospective of the future that does.

It's hard work raising them, but i would say that they are by far my least problem, if anything they keep me sane to an extent. Although i do have bad days, nearly everyday, and it can put me in the frame of mind for drinking, but theres much more to it.

Butty.xxx

Butty.xxx

desperateSCOUSEwife · 28/04/2006 12:30

butty
hope you are ok babe
xxx
doormat

butty · 28/04/2006 12:32

Oh Doormat,

you know me and my story by now!!!

Hope you and the gang are all ok, i put a shout out for you a while ago about the GDD support group, where you been hiding, LOLGrin

Thanks for asking BTW.

Butty.xxx

Original poster
Rhubarb · 28/04/2006 12:33

Why is it that our other halves are not very supportive? Do you feel that you have to match their drinks? Yet we forget that as men they can physically handle a lot more drink than we can.

Don't empty your wine glass when it comes to top ups, and let your partners do the topping up, so you have to wait for them to finish and make sure that there is always some left in your glass! That way you'll drink less than them but they'll hardly notice.

Butty, hope you're ok. xx

OP posts:
tyedye · 28/04/2006 12:34

Butty,you are a star,your kids are so lucky to have such a devoted mummy.
Kokeshi,youre history sounds interesting AND very painful.My father drank himself to death over a few decades of severe alcoholism,he was a respectable Doctor,alcoholics dont always end up under railway bridges.well done you for the steps you made to recover.xx

desperateSCOUSEwife · 28/04/2006 12:34

I have lost your email butty
and have been going on the website from time to time
but with all what is happening
just so busy and that
and must be the same for you
love and take care
xxx

kokeshi · 28/04/2006 12:39

Thank you for your kind words tyedye. I suppose I identify a lot with what's been posted on here. I just hope I can offer a bit of hope for those who can't see an end to it xxx

SoftStuff · 28/04/2006 12:40

Well I don't have a dh/partner so I can't use that as an excuse. I feel really stupid for having got so wrecked last night now. I don't particularly feel hungover but I don't feel good. Having just taken the bottles out i've just seen how many units of alcohol I drunk, quite shocking.

You would think I'd learn, the night I was raped I was pissed too. Oddly enough I can remember it very clearly.

I still maintain i'm not an alcoholic but I know what i'm doing is bad for me.

tyedye · 28/04/2006 12:40

Moony,I still fancy my partner,i just find him impossible to live with.Cant live with him cant kill himGrinStill have to be bladdered to shag him whatever.GrinGrin

butty · 28/04/2006 12:43

Thanks for your messages,

it's actually been such a relief to get all these feelings off my chest and out in the open about my drinking and lifestyle in general.

I think it was a great idea to start this thread and i think people have been very brave to come forward about their drinking problems, it takes such courage to admit it to yourself, let alone other people.

Usually, om the outside world, people look down on you or tell you to behave if you say you have a drink problem, but i bet a third of this country have a problem with drink and are too ashamed to admit it or to frightened to seek help.

These days, drink is accepted as a social and everyday part of life, but if that were true, then why are so many people frightened to come forward and seek help????? It's true though, for something so acceptable,. you can be made to feel an outcast squallowing in lifes society of the modern daySad

I can drink most men under the table and i am not proud of it, but then that is people being pre-judgmental on what has been so stereo typical over the decades!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

tyedye · 28/04/2006 12:44

Softstuff,being pissed puts you in a very vulnerable position,i was raped as a teenager whilst pissed too,no one here is qualified to pronounce anyone "alcoholic"(i assume)BUT,
you know youre drinking is out of control at the moment,but stay with us and think about some proper help?x

vouge · 28/04/2006 12:51

hi....im new to this thread and mumsnet....im 27 and ahve dd 8mths i find it hard wo drink and not get really pissed and when i go out i find it hard to remember it next day..i only ever leave my dd with dh as i dont trust anyone else but even so the next day i am racked with guilt about going out ....me and dh have not had sex for 3 months and i think its me as well as him ,he doesnt like going out hes 10yrs my senior and says hes done it all and is not interested but i am and i feel guilty any advice .......

kokeshi · 28/04/2006 12:53

It happened to me too. Twice actually. I never stopped, just drank more and felt even worse about myself. Actually, not many people know that.

I can't say that those or any other traumatic events were the catalyst to trying to deal with drink. For me it was a cumulative effect over a period time and finally drink just wasn't working anymore. Softstuff, I'm so glad you signed back in. Have been thinking about you xx

vouge · 28/04/2006 12:53

sorry if makes no sense!!!!!! the sex thing i just had to tell someone as i feel i have none to talk to ....sorry

SoftStuff · 28/04/2006 12:54

It does put you in a very vulnerable position, you're unsteady and can easily be knocked off your feet for starters.

I didn't mean to post that about the rape, I'm just in a mood that I really don't care what people think of me anymore.

themoon66 · 28/04/2006 12:55

welcome Vouge. You are among friends here. Smile

butty · 28/04/2006 12:55

anyway, it is time for me to go home and start the usual routine of washing and cleaning, then looking forward to extra kiddies after schoolGrin

If i cant get on pc over the weekend, i will deffo be back by tuesday, although i have a cunning plan to get dp of the pc, which is to boot hi, off, or threaten to stop paying for itGrin

Thanks for all your support over the past few days, it's been a real help, don't know wherther i'll go out or not tonight, but if i do, i'll keep thinking back to whats been said on here and will deffo drink shandy after first 2 pints.

It might not be much, but it is a start.

Thanks again, and hope you all have a great weekend whether with or without drink, remember, you have all opened up about your problems and that is a huge step in the right direction.

Butty.xxx

SoftStuff · 28/04/2006 12:56

K - it wasn't the first time for me either Shock

vouge · 28/04/2006 12:57

thx xx i dont feel i have a major prob but i do love a wine and odly a flirt evertime i go out!! even though i dont flirt with dh?????
....

kokeshi · 28/04/2006 12:57

Welcome vouge xxx

themoon66 · 28/04/2006 12:57

Been sat here thinking about all the messages and have come to the conclusion that sex is my major problem. I can feel myself tense up the min DH touches me. These days he's started not bothering. I feel really really bad and that's why I drink. If he went off with someone else I wouldnt blame him. I'm a cow.

kokeshi · 28/04/2006 12:59

Will be thinking of you over the weekend Butty. All the bess, and hugs to you xxx

SoftStuff · 28/04/2006 12:59

You're not a cow moon, but you do need to talk to your dh about how you feel.

tyedye · 28/04/2006 13:00

Hello vouge,raw spot in the thread right now,why do you feel so guilty?is it leaving your son or your partner?or both.I f your DH isnt interested,does he mind you going out,or trust you?
Kokeshi,we know all too well the dangers of male predators,the law is to be changed on consent i believe,for such very reasons?Its been any years since such things happened to me,i developed an animal instinct,whilst pissed for self preservation,managed to avoid such trouble ever since!x

vouge · 28/04/2006 13:00

same as moon i hate him for not coming on to me but when he does i just cant ....i dont know why hes is gorgeous and a fab guy i just dont know whats wrong ...it may be my insecurities about my body since dd......

Swipe left for the next trending thread