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Original poster

What's your definition of an alcoholic??

113 replies

SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:01

To me it's someone who can't get through the day without a drink, drinks when they get up and drinks everyday.

OP posts:
poodles · 17/04/2006 01:04

someone who makes excuses for their drinking "I deserve it- I work hard" someone who justifies it all the time, someone whose drinking affects others and themselves badly.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/04/2006 01:09

It can be that SS. I also believe an alcoholic is someone who has an uncontrollable "urge" to drink for reasons other than enjoyment. Even if its not every day.

If they arent drinking to enjoy it, but because they need to, then that is symptomatic IMO.

Or if drink is used as a crutch to help with something else. All in my list of definitions.

lact8 · 17/04/2006 01:11

I agree with VVVQV, would also say if they need to drink just to feel normal, when its not about getting drunk anymore

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:21

It doesn't effect anyone else. They just drink when they've had a bad day to take it away.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:23

To me that's not an alcoholic. Very interested in your answers, thanks for posting. Any more opinions would be appreciated too.

OP posts:
poodles · 17/04/2006 01:36

OK what's your definition then?

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:42

This is mainly as a friend has challenged me over it, I don't want to make a huge deal about it as I know i'm not, well ok i'm pretty sure i'm not.

I know my reasons for drinking aren't healthy ones but to me that doesn't make me an alchy.

As I said before an alcoholic drinks every day, I don't. They also drink in the day, which I would only do socially.

OP posts:
lact8 · 17/04/2006 01:45

Do you use alcohol as I way of dealing with problems/situations? How do you feel if you think of life without having alcohol in it? Your friend must be pretty concerned to raise the subject with you...

poodles · 17/04/2006 01:46

Didn't mean to sound abrasive there!!!

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:49

I was telling her about a bad night i'd had, and yes ok so I had drunk quite a bit. It went from there. It's exactly because of that, it is how I deal with problems. It works though so I don't see a problem. I get a bad day, I have a few drinks, I feel 'numb', I relax. I don't want to take it out, like I said it works.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:53

Poodles, you didn't sound abrasive.

OP posts:
poodles · 17/04/2006 01:54

I know I want to get pi%%ed when I have had a bad day and so do most of my friends, its only a problem when you can't face up to all your problems and just get drunk instead

lact8 · 17/04/2006 01:55

Softstuff, please don't take offense by anything I say, its hard to get the right tone on her sometimes. What I mean is, would you be able to cope if you dodn't have alcohol as the solution to a bad day? Are any of your bad days a consequence of your drinking, like being hungover and feeling shitty and not being able to work properly, so you say "i've had a bad day" so then have another drink? Hope that makes sense?

poodles · 17/04/2006 01:58

I am drinking wine here cos I have had a loooooong weekend with my dh and can't wait for him to get back to sodding work and let me get on with my life with dd and just f* off!!! hope that makes sense and alcohol certainly helps me there.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 02:00

I don't take offense easily!

Well no, I might not be able to but I am coping by using it, everyone has their own vices don't they?

I do sometimes have a week or so, certainly a few days, without a drink, but then i'll get a bad day/week and need to. Nothing else works. Like I said though, it does work.

OP posts:
lact8 · 17/04/2006 02:07

Softstuff, if it isn't interfering in the rest of your life then it is a vice rather than a problem and like you say we all have them. But then it is only you who knows whether you do have a problem IYSWIM?

Poodles, that sounds sad Sad

Ladies, I've got to go to bed now

Take care both

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 02:10

Poodles. Glad i'm not drinking here alone then! Smile

Lact8, I do appreciate your honesty and thank you. Night.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 02:16

and Lact8, in answer to your question, I really don't think it's a huge problem, not a real one anyway.

OP posts:
poodles · 17/04/2006 02:26

I am not really sad that was said with tongue in cheek a bit, I do love my dh we have just got on each others nerves a bit, please don't feel sorry for me.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 02:30

I didn't think you sounded sad, just venting! Hope it blows over soon.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 17/04/2006 03:09

I had an alcoholic in my life who insisted he wasn't. His reasons? He didn't start drinking until 5 in the afternoon, he stopped for a few days whenever he visited his parents, and he didn't drink "hard" liquor. Those were his ways of justifying the fact that, in his mind, he didn't have a problem - even though he drank alot most nights.

Softstuff, when you drink, are there times you can't remember? Do you pass out? Do you do things you wouldn't when sober? Can you drink in moderation, or once started, do you typically have a significant amount? Are you defensive/secretive about the amount you drink and the frequency? Does anyone in your life think you have a problem?

These are all the kind of questions you need to answer in order to think accurately about your drinking habits.

kokeshi · 17/04/2006 03:54

I also had someone close who actually died as a result of his alcoholism, so I'm coming at it from a very personal point of view. I agree with what's been said before, and again, you are the only one who can decide if you have a problem or not. I also don't want to come across as preachy, but here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking?
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
11 - Do you have "blackouts"? A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?

Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years.

This is taken directly from the Alcoholics Anonymous website. I don't want to pidgeonhole you at all, but I think it's great that you're asking for advice. I wish you all the best Smile

lact8 · 17/04/2006 06:49

pooodles, glad its just a getting on each others nerves situation, I wish DP would go back to work everytime he starts winding the kids up just before bedtime!

Softstuff, I'd think about what the others who have had firsthand experience of alcoholism have said. Hope it helps you sort out your own feelings about drinking

ItalianJob · 17/04/2006 07:30

Somebody whose drinking is affecting their work and personal life.

MeerkatsUnite · 17/04/2006 08:49

Softstuff,

I would agree with the definitions made here. Generally speaking people equate the image of an alcoholic with someone (usually a homeless person) drinking alone on a park bench or drinking everyday. These are cliches. Whilst the above certainly does happen both are not solely true definitions of alcoholism. You do not have to drink every day.

It may be that your behaviours re drink have become an established pattern over time and so may be the start of a problem to do with alcohol. The facts that a friend has commented on it and you're using it to destress after "bad days" (that particularly) is in itself worrying. There is also an element of denial shown in drink problems. Am not suggesting that is the case with yourself, you have started to think about it but many people with drink problems do have feelings of denial.

D'you want to talk with your GP about your drinking?.

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