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Original poster

What's your definition of an alcoholic??

113 replies

SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:01

To me it's someone who can't get through the day without a drink, drinks when they get up and drinks everyday.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 18/04/2006 21:04

softstuff, I have never drunk 2 bottles of wine in one go. I would class that as a real problem. IMO half a bottle is not a problem, it's only 4 units and the recommended for women is 2-3 units per day. So I don't think this is too much. True that occasionally I can still drink a bottle of wine over a few hours, but that rarely happens these days as I stop myself.

SoftStuff, what you need to think about is the long term health problems. Your liver is no doubt suffering, once your liver is diseased, there is no way back. I know it's tempting to think that it'll never happen to you, but the longer you go on like this, the more likely it is to happen to you.

Your stomach aches could be the sign of a stomach ulcer, you should get that checked out because if you leave them untreated you might need an operation.
Your children need you to be around, they need you to be healthy. I'm not saying give up all vices and start going to the gym, but you cannot keep putting yourself at risk like this or they will end up losing you.

You cannot put alcohol before your family, it's not worth it. Your children give you unconditional love, alcohol gives you a death sentence.
You DO have a problem from what I can see and you DO need to talk to someone about it. Admitting it on here is the first step, at least you are not covering it up. Once you have come to terms with that, you can start to do something about it. I think you will, I think you knew you had a problem already and this has confirmed it. I think you'll beat this because you are not denying anything, you are being very courageous already. I wish you lots of luck.

Caligula · 18/04/2006 21:54

Who was it who said an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than me?

SS, I'd also advise Alcoholics Anonymous. If you promise yourself you'll go for a month and after that time find that you believe you don't have a problem with drink, then you'll have lost nothing. If on the other hand, you decide you do, you will be in a fellowship with people who will be determined to help you overcome it and who will offer you real, substantial help and support. You really don't need to feel or to be alone. AA is full of people who will be there for you if you need them. And if you don't need them, you'll have proved to yourself that you don't.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 18:39

Ok.. I had far too much to drink again last night and i've decided enough, it really can't continue. I'm getting lower and lower and the drinking levels re agetting higher and higher to try and compensate. Last night I got through half a bottle of wine, a bacardi breezer and half a bottle of gin.. and I wasn't even drunk, not really drunk anyhow. IronicallyI went to bed in a good mood and woke up terrified with a nightmare about an hour later, It took ages to get off then I woke with another.

As of today I'm not going to drink, at least until it's under control. Really want one though!

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 18:43

Oh and I might contact AA, i'll see how it goes but as i've said the drinking is a symptom of other stuff so it's that i've got to get on top of

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 18:51

Just take it day by day. You cannot do this alone though, you DO need support. I don't know anyone who has successfully gone cold turkey alone.

I have never drunk as much as you, but I did drink too much and I have managed to cut back. What I did was, for every glass of wine or beer, I'd have a glass of water.

I'd also sip my drink and I would try to make it last half an hour.

I would steer clear of spirits.
I would make sure that I had no alcohol in the house so that I couldn't have a drink even if I wanted to.
I told dh that I wanted to cut back so that he would support me, I suggest you tell some of your closest friends so they can support you too.

Good luck. Let us know how you get on. Even if you fail miserably, we're still here for you.

boozefree · 22/04/2006 18:53

I started a thread about this a few days ago and it takes ages to admit stuff. I habitually drink but can stop. Don't want to much, but know that it makes me fatter and also is wrecking my liver. I love my kids and have,on occasion, put them second to booze. Blush. Talked about this in other thread so will just wish you luckSmile

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 19:11

i've told 2 friends, was was particularly hard to tell. I feel so bad, I honestly feel like i've let them and everyone down.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/04/2006 19:15

Good for you SS. Im sure you will be able to get through this. We are all here to support you if you need it.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 19:23

I really appreciate you lot being here. I will contact someone for some proper support but I'm really not sure who. I find it hard getting out so i'm not sure about aa type things. I don't want to have to rely on friends on you lot here, it's not fair on anyone.

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Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 19:25

Oh and boozefree eill look properly at your thread. I did see it and was very impressed you felt able to just quit. I'm still not entirely convinced i want to. I just know i have to right now.

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Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 19:25

Course it's fair, that's what friends are all about! Think about it, if someone needed your support you'd be there for them, right?

I think you can get online support too, there is a website that sends you supportive emails and so on, I'll see if I can find it.

Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 19:28

There is \link{http://www.aa-intergroup.org\this} and \link{http://www.alcoholhelpcenter.net\this} and \link{http://www.drinkanddrugs.net/resources/help.html\this} but none of them are the website I was thinking of, wonder if anyone else knows them? I'm sure the others are just as good though!

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 20:13

No, it's not fair. If you knew who I was you'd probably agree. Yes I would give support but in this case that's not the point.

Great links - thank you. The middle one was a bit scary tho, I did the online test and it gves you a score of how dependant you are. It has 5 levels with the top one as dependence is for scores of 20 or more. I scored 26.

I actually feel really quite crap atm, hot and cold, which is ridiculous given I wasn't drinking every single night.

OP posts:
sandcarsel · 22/04/2006 20:31

the only people you're letting down are yourself and your children and they are the people you have to get better for. support is what friends are for.

Caligula · 22/04/2006 20:52

Softstuff, you aren't letting anyone down - you've decided to stop and do something about it. All without having been arrested, harmed yourself or anyone else, done something disastrous etc. - lots of people need to have something really awful happen to them before they can face up to their drink problem and do something about it. You're facing up to it before something disastrous happens. That's a plus. Good luck.

Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 22:27

I just did that test. Now bearing in mind that I usually only drink at the weekend, if I drink at all during the week it's 2 of those little bottles of beer, and I got 'dependant' so don't read too much into them!

I drink, but I'm certainly not dependant. For me it's a relaxant for the weekend, after a hard week at work, looking after the kids, etc. I don't drink to get drunk, I don't get drunk very often and my health does not suffer. So take online tests with a pinch of salt.

What I would also do if I were you, is to not drink during the week. I'm going to do that too, so we'll do it together. You'll look forward to the weekend more and you'll need less alcohol to have the same effect, so you'll drink less.

Start on Monday, don't have a drink from Mon to Fri. Just see if you can do it, and I promise that I'll do the same.

granarybeck · 22/04/2006 23:00

Softstuff, I have a friend who has PTSD and has had problems with alcohol. He found that he was much better at coping with problems with alcohol after he had started counseliing for PTSD issues, kind of all linked together. I'm not saying don't go to AA or similar, but may also be worth seeing GP about counselling for PTSD. Sorry if you have already done this. Just to let you know, my friend is still able to drink, but in a much different way to before, mainly socially, whereas before it was to block out PTSD issues.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 23:35

Granarybeck - that's exactly it, it's totally to block it out. It's like I need something to kill my thoughts and memories. I'm not sure about aa either, i'm not an 'a' for a start, well not really. I recognise that I crave it tho but it is more for what it does.

Rhubarb, that sounds good. Can I agree one week at a time though please? and thanks so much for your reassurance re the online thingamy.

Caligua - i've had a few close calls... but thank you.

Sandcastle - Smile

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 23:36

One DAY at a time!

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 23:39

even better Smile, I know i'm going to get nightmares tonight, i'm far too awake to contemplate sleeping mind. It's taking a lot not to go and get a large glass. I still have a little gin left and 1 bottle of wine.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/04/2006 23:41

Tip them down the sink, then you have no alcohol in the house and you'll just have to deal with it. It's the only way. If you can't do that, get someone who can.

Original poster
SoftStuff · 22/04/2006 23:42

I can't tip them down. Is it awful to say I feel better knwoing they're there...

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notasheep · 23/04/2006 00:06

Agree with Rhubarb you need to get rid of it.

sandcarsel · 23/04/2006 07:48

get rid of them. if you can't gete rid of them you definitely have more of a problem than you thought.

sandcarsel · 23/04/2006 07:49

in fat im sure you told me you had already gotten rid of it or were going to