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Original poster

What's your definition of an alcoholic??

113 replies

SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:01

To me it's someone who can't get through the day without a drink, drinks when they get up and drinks everyday.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 17/04/2006 15:02

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MrsStrutsHerStuff · 17/04/2006 18:20

can i just say kids are very clever and very aware, even though you want to protect your kids softstuff, they may well know especially when you have problems at times with your stomach, as your kids get older they pick up on small things and then link them altogether, a bit like when i got home from school most days and my mum would pretend that it was really cold tea in her mug, when i knew fine well it was cider, my mum still to this day says that she can stop, i say PROVE IT and still she can't prove she can stop not even for one week! I would say softstuff that you are using alcohol to block out some everyday stresses, and you have a few then feel fine, but this could lead to deeper problems with alcohol.

PeachyClair · 17/04/2006 18:31

Doesn't have to be evry day. My dad didn't drink every day but most days and whenever he could escape (tos ay Mum is controlling is a huge understatement. Also, he couldn't have just one.... it was none of 12. Sober or paralytic.

It also counts as a problem if it affects those they love and they're unwilling to change the behaviour.... my middle childhood - when I left home was a mess as he would get violent.

HOWEVER can I just say a big Grin for Dad who is no longer a drinker and is the lovely dad I remember from my early years. I am a v proud daughter!

Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 01:52

Sad am drunk

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 02:12

Read through all your messages and no, it's not nice reading.

I need help, not just with this, was trying to conince myself it was under control. Drinking is asymptom of other stuff.

Can't do it on my own and there's not one person I can rely on, too mich to ask. On my own fo ood,

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Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 03:13

Thanks fr yr heko,

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monkey · 18/04/2006 07:49

where do you live? There must be someone who can help. There'll be loads of people willing to. You sound so sad. I wish I could. Come back. Noone here's having a go. We all chipped in because we want to help you .

Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 16:23

I've just re-read these, I don't remember posting last night. I'm really embarrassed, I started this to prove that it was really wasn't a problem and I end up making myself look the opposite.

I am sad, horribly, but i'm trying to get by and i'm been avoiding admitting it to people, I see it as a huge weakness. I got diagnosed as having ptsd a while back as I get flashbacks to stuff. If i drink I don't get them. Some stuff's too painful to keep re-feeling. I was meant to be getting a referral to see a psych, I really must sort it out but I just don't have the motivation.

OP posts:
muma3 · 18/04/2006 16:25

my mum and dad Smile

dad died 5 years ago from alcholism
mum lives in her own little world and i havent had any contact for nearly a year heavy drinker

muma3 · 18/04/2006 16:33

my mum drank every day.
she drank to feel normal and always had an excuse as to why she was drinking . we never had a good relationship and one weekend 5 years ago - not long after my dad died she admitted that they had been seeing each other since they supposedly broke up when i was 3 . he had re married. i think alot of it was to do with that . he promised her that he would leave his wife before he died but never got round to it. she was heart broken and couldnt stand me as a result.

i dont understand the world i really dont. but i have the most respect for the family of alcholics as it is the worst feeling to see someone you love push you away and change as a person to someone un recognisable. my dad detached himself from the real world and as a result i never really knew him . saw him 3 times my whole life as i recall and once he was drunk i ran away from his flat back home i was so scared. i also believe that this is the reason my mother was the same way with me . they become very selfish.

hth Blush

ps. it has took me 23 years to over come the feeling of rejection from both my parents and i even typed this without crying which is a first Smile

Rhubarb · 18/04/2006 16:34

How much do you drink?

I can drink a bottle of wine in one night, although I try not to now. A typical weekend for me is a few beers on Friday night, half a bottle of wine and beers on Sat night, half a bottle on Sun night. Maybe a couple of beers during the week. That's cut back from what I used to drink too!

I don't have any other vices, I don't smoke or do drugs or gamble or spend money clothes shopping, I have no interest in that. For me, drinking is a relaxant I look forward to at the end of a week. I've given up before at the weekends, but I hate it. I have no other form of relaxation.

However, I don't get very drunk, I don't pass out, I don't vomit, I don't do things I forget about. And I never drink alone. So I don't think that I have a problem, but maybe the fact that drink is my only form of relaxation is a problem itself? I also worry long-term about my health, which is why I cut down every now and then.

So how much do you drink SoftStuff?

FioFio · 18/04/2006 16:37

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Rhubarb · 18/04/2006 16:40

Yes but some definitions are very silly! I did one of those online questionnaires once and apparently I'm dependant and close on being an alcoholic! Now I've just stated what I drink and under what circumstances, there is NO WAY I'm an alci!!!!! But to some, anyone who drinks more than twice in one week is! If you can give up easily, if you can say no, if you can stop after a few drinks, then I reckon you're ok.

motherinferior · 18/04/2006 16:42

Rhuby, I do think perhaps you are drinking too much, and also that if it's your only form of relaxation that is not good.

(I used to drink rather more than you, btw. These days I don't.)

gscrym · 18/04/2006 16:42

To me an alcoholic is someone who drinks a large amount of alcohol on a daily basis as if it's like having a cup of tea or something. By a large quantity, I mean a bottle of spirits or a litre of wine to themselves.

My mum was a functioning alcoholic and is now a recovering one. She drank large amounts and still managed to seem sober. She had depression so to manage that, I think, she drank.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/04/2006 16:43

I think AA is a good idea. I hope you find the strength to talk to someone about dealing with your ptsd so that you start to see alcohol as the enjoyable past time that perhaps it once was, instead of something that helps you deal with a problem atm iykwim.

We are all here for you if you need help though. MN is fab for that kind of thing.

Enid · 18/04/2006 16:45

I know someone who is lurching and slurring her words after two glasses of wine

so not necessarily the amount you drink but how it affects you

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 18/04/2006 16:45

someone who is reliant on alcohol

go to aa and good luck
xxx

Rhubarb · 18/04/2006 16:45

I agree it is a bit much. But I try not to drink during the week (ok, I won't drink during the week!). I have tried to take up other forms of relaxation but what is there to do? I don't smoke so I reckon if weekend drinking is my only vice then that's not too bad. Plus as I said, I never drink alone, I never get very very drunk, I haven't been sick through drink for years and these days I don't get hangovers either.

Like I said, I have cut back. It used to be a bottle of wine every Sat and Sun night, now it's half!

monkey · 18/04/2006 17:13

I think if you can drink large amounts and not feel drunk/sick/pass out, that's more a worrying sign

Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 18:26

That sounds so sad, Mama3. Sad

The amounts vary, last night was 2 bottles (I only know that as the 2nd bottle was empty this morning Blush), it really isn't always that much. In a generally week I probably get through maybe 4 or 5 bottles of wine and maybe some spirits. It's not a huge amount.

It hadn't occured to me but I rarely get hangovers, as far as a hangover is concerned I feel ok today, my tummy hurts a bit though.

I know you think i'm in denial but i'm really not an alcoholic but I recognise that my relationship with it isn't very healthy. Like Rhuby, it's possibly my only form of relaxation.

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Original poster
SoftStuff · 18/04/2006 18:28

Maybe I am just trying to kid myself, I'm just a bit of a mess atm. Sad

OP posts:
Piffle · 18/04/2006 18:29

I define it is when drinking controls you, rather than you controlling the drinking.
can be as little as one drink a day, depending on how it gets to you and how you feel about it.
I stopped for 3 mths to regain control, am now fine and can take it or leave it, I think I was very close to a problem though.

noddyholder · 18/04/2006 18:46

FioFio why did it take me lots of rambling messages to try and say what you said so perfectly in one!!That is exactly it Agree re AA you will meet other people like you and will feel able to talk to them and the big plus is they'll understand you xx

lunarx · 18/04/2006 19:16

softstuff; how do you feel if you dont have a drink? how long can you be sober for?

is there someone you can talk to that you trust? a friend, family member, doctor?

alcoholism is a sensitive subject for me... if you want to chat offboard anytime, let me know and i will send along my email. no judgements passed. ever.

hang in there.