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What's your definition of an alcoholic??

113 replies

SoftStuff · 17/04/2006 01:01

To me it's someone who can't get through the day without a drink, drinks when they get up and drinks everyday.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 23/04/2006 17:02

How are you today Softstuff? Did you have a drink last night? One day at a time, remember.

I've been thinking about this and I want to ask you a few questions if that's ok? Feel free to ignore them if you feel they are too personal.

Did you give up drinking whilst pregnant?
Do you have a partner? If so, is he supportive?
What are you using the alcohol to blot out?

There is always a reason people turn to drink. So not only do you have to cope with the physical addiction, but the psychological reasons behind it too. I do think you need counselling, on both counts. Let us know how you are.

SoftStuff · 23/04/2006 17:52

The booze is gone. I've given the wine away to a friend just today and the gin.. I drunk it Sad It was at 4am and I completely hate myself for it, I was so angry inside at the time. Anyway it's gone. I wont be buying anymore, tbh I haven't the spare money anyway, tesco value gin or not.

Ok, Rhubarb.
I gave up drinking throughout my first resulting pregnancy, I didn't in my 2nd, I only drunk lightly though.
No partner.
What am I blotting out? i'm hesitant to say too much but it's things where people have hurt me, physically, mentally and personally. I'm also trying to blot out the many negative thoughts I get.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 23/04/2006 22:17

Ok.
Firstly - many congrats on giving the wine away! That's brilliant! So you drank the rest of the gin, well hey, it's only day1. Try to get through a whole day without drinking and just think of how proud you'll be when you wake up in the morning and you'll have gone 24hrs without a drink. Imagine that feeling now and hold onto it as your motiviation for doing just that.

You went through a whole pregnancy without drink and you cut right back during your second - can I just say, that's more than I did! I suffered from ante-natal depression so I did drink lightly during my pregnancies, I was struggling to cope and to give up drink just seemed to be too much to ask. I would have perhaps a pint or two of Guinness over a week. So you can give up the booze, you are capable of doing that. You had an incentive then, the health of your unborn child. Try to place that incentive on the health of your children now, their mental health. They need you as a fully-functioning sober mother who puts them first, otherwise they will suffer and it will affect their lives.

So everytime you want a drink, try to picture that unborn babe who was in your womb, and then project that picture onto them now, still helpless, still needy and totally dependant on you. Try having a large glass of water instead, it'll fill you up and I find that it takes away some of the urge to drink alcohol.

You have bigger issues and they will resurface when you give up, so you do need to tackle those otherwise they'll drive you straight back onto the booze again. Do you think you could ask your GP to refer you for urgent counselling? Is that something you could do? Or, if you like, I'm not a counsellor but I am a good listener. If you want to write it all down and send it to someone, send it to me. I won't break your confidence, I won't judge, I'll just listen and try to understand. CAT me, if you want to talk, if you can't CAT me but do want to talk about it, let me know and I'll CAT you.

You're doing really really well. You've admitted your problem, you've given WINE away! (I'd find that hard!) You are trying to go without booze. These are big achievements, you know, you're not burying your head in the sand, you have the determination to beat this and I'm certain that you will. See this as the start of better things to come! Smile

SoftStuff · 24/04/2006 11:15

Thank you Rhubarb! Hey I managed a night without drinking Smile, feel appaling today (partly due to other circs) and i've also got bad stomach cramps for some reason. Like the ones I get after a drink except i had none! I might well contact you if you're sure. x

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 11:26

Please do contact me.
Well done! Sun night without a drink! That's impressive! Try to set a goal for yourself, name certain days when you simply won't have a drink and try to stick to them. It might only be one or two for now, and then you can increase the days off when you are feeling strong enough.
I would go and see your GP about the stomach cramps, it could be a sign of a stomach ulcer. You can ask about counselling whilst you're there!

tyedye · 24/04/2006 12:18

I drink several cans of lager everyday,and/or cider and a bottle of wine every night,freefalling out of control.Blush

tyedye · 24/04/2006 12:29

Good luck softstuff,your thread,sorry,ill start another one another time!My father died of cirrhosis,not a pretty sight/end.
I will think of you when i tip mine away!xx

lunarx · 24/04/2006 12:38

hey softstuff, well done on not drinking for one night! the offer is still open if you want to talk:)

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 12:41

tyedye, softstuff et all, do you want me to start new thread for you all? A sort of self help thread?

You have to check in every night and tell us truthfully how you have done. We'll keep you going with encouragement, advice and opinions.

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 12:44

Done one \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?rn=18425&topicid=138&threadid=167024&redir=18425\here}

tyedye · 24/04/2006 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SoftStuff · 24/04/2006 17:50

Thanks lunarX and Rhubarb, will contact you (actually Rhubarb, someone we both know has offered me your email addy). Tyedye, so sorry about your Dad, don't feel bad about posting on this thread!

Fab idea about the new thread, hopefully it'll help, will see you over there.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 21:09

Someone we both know huh? Now who knows that I like a drink? Erm, everyone I suppose!!!

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