chat and hand-holding for those of us supporting a DH with cancer - new thread for the new year

[MrsShrek3]

sign in, folks :)
Hoping that 2013 brings better stuff for all of us.

That was very insensitive of the nurst to say that to your DH. But reminded me of of my DH who was told that he could never be cured and that even in remission it would be 5 years at the most before it returned.

not MORE waiting, Hellen?

Daisydot hehee at "are you me"

sorry, just passing thru. Back later. hang in there, all

Just updating: dp home now, had right side of thyroid removed, consultant told him in recovery that op went well, that's all !!
On his rounds yesterday he told dp to go back in a week for stirches out, and 10 days to see consultant for results...!
Suppose we were expecting to be told some kind of news during his stay dp sleeping off his meds in bed, and probably wondering what happens next, and will he have to go through all this again if malignant, we just don't know, this is just crap! On the plus side, he is home.
More waiting...

We went in to hospital today by 8 for DH's laparoscopy, but once the consultant came round he said that he'd seen the results of the PET scan late yesterday and felt that there was no benefit in putting DH through this procedure as well... Apparently quite a lot of spread in the stomach area . So waiting now for an appt re chemo, how, what, when, where. I think they'll be starting DH on it before Easter. It's all sooo scary not knowing what to expect, how it will work etc. DH is staying quite positive, which is remarkable. Apparently they'll be using high dose / mix of drugs, as DH is still quite young and fit. I'm dreading it! How do you combine supporting DH with his treatment and working (ft)?

hugs, inamin. we've done the juggling thing. DH on chemotherapy, me at ft work, three primary age dc, one with asd. Im fairly sure I did it on adrenaline, and probably still doing so. I didn't refuse any offers of help but tbh running round after the dc kept me busy enough not to think too much. the hardest thing is not having a break, so if there is anyone willing to give you one, just take it. mil took ironing, my mum fed us one night each week. that sort of stuff is worth gold.

don't know if the old thread is any use to you here

Inaminutenow sounds like a very hard day, but now you know what you are dealing with, sometimes I find that helps, even when it's not what you want to hear.

It's hard to predict how the chemo will affect your DH. He may not be too knocked out by it, especially as he is fit and well now. I met people in the chemo suite (suite!) who just had one day in bed and were fine on it.

Get some mechanisms for help set up now, don't wait until you are struggling, like I did!

Big hugs x

Thanks for the advice. I suppose you just try and build everything into your normal routine? I'll have a read of the previous thread.

Thinking of you Inaminute.

The Macmillan site have a general info phone number
Questions? 0808 808 00 00

Maybe worth phoning them .

hugs

thinking of you all :)

sigh. anybody else feel like they've run 25 miles of a marathon, another mile to go and no energy to do it?

Chemo consultation coming up tomorrow for DH. It's weird, I want things to get underway, so that we can start fighting that cancer, but at the same time I'm scared how the treatment will affect everyone, not least DH. But it'll be good to have a plan, rather than waiting round for appointments, I guess.
Hugs to all of you.

more hugs inamin. FWIW I found it much better to have that treatment plan for DH. Ys there are worries but the reassurance that there is huge monitoring and, well, a plan, make it more manageable. Wishing you all luck.

With you on that inaminuite

Get well soon lisa

brilliant list, Lisa.
Yay for Mr LisaD

We've been told it's Stage 4, chemo (ECX?) to start in the next couple of weeks.

hugs xx

So sorry it wasn't better news. I think we were on EOX - we changed from Cisplatin to Oxaliplatin on the advice of a second opinion consultant, along with Epirubicin and Xeloda (capecitabene). Is that the drug combo you're starting on?

Any advice at all I can give? Sounds as though treatment is going to be much as MrDaisy's.

Thanks all. DH looks on the bright side and keeps saying he could have a car accident tomorrow and be gone... At least this way he can get everything in order . I seem to be hit harder than him, when I'm not even ill. Brave face during the day, and then it hits me once the children are in bed. I'm such a wimp compared to DH.

How long can chemo go on for? Or is it a matter of so many cycles and then a break and then start chemo again? We're still really naive about the treatment, we have no experience of it whatsoever...