chat and hand-holding for those of us supporting a DH with cancer - new thread for the new year

[MrsShrek3]

sign in, folks :)
Hoping that 2013 brings better stuff for all of us.

what Lisa said...apparently it's common for us to be hit harder than the DH at first, hence this thread... hugs. we're always around. chemotherapy cycles vary in length (14 day, 21 day or whatever) and duration. individually tailored thing for your DHs condition.

Thanks for your comments and advice. DH cycles will be 21 days and they've mentioned that they may do up to 6-8 cycles. What happens then?
I agree it's better for him to be positive than moping around, and he's no fool either. He perfectly understands the diagnosis.
We have two boys, 6 and 3, and DH has a grown up daughter (nearly 21) who lives with us and a son who's 23 and lives just over an hour away.

DH also had 6 cycles of 21 day chemo. He's finished the treatment plan and (see above) has recently gone back to work.

random stuff to keep you busy... check out the finances. claim on mortgage protection policy if you have one. see the cab if you can. credit cards and loans are mostly automatically payment protected to cover them if someone is ill and can't work. photocopy his sick note.about ten times and claim on all your protection to cover payments.
Lisa said to me to do online shopping as you ent have the time or energy. nine months on I'm still doing it (thanks Lisa )

Ps don't panic if the odd cycle gets postponed or delayed to give him more recovery time or get his levels back up. DH had two postponements. normal apparently.

Thanks again lisad and Mrs Shrek for all the tips, I'm sure there'll be more and more questions over the weeks ahead... It's so good to have people to turn to who have been or are going through similar experiences. We're in West Wales.

how are you all doing today? anyone else nocturnal like me ?
wondering how inamin and DH are today.

are you on the mend now Lisa?

DH has been struggling a bit with eating today and has generally felt under the weather. Otherwise everything still feeling unreal.
I'm tempted to get in touch with the dr who saw us on weds to ask why he says it's Stage 4. We did ask a lot of questions during the appt and they really took their time to go through everything, but I'm not 100% clear about the staging. He explained that quite a few lymph nodes were involved in the stomach area plus Adrenal gland, but I thought for Stage 4 the cancer needed to have gone to other organs? Didn't think they had mentioned any organs? Probably doesn't make any huge difference, but I want to be clear in my mind about what's being said.
Hope you and your other halves are all okay!

Inaminute this link gives some detail ,but really every case is different so I'm not sure how much help ...

www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Softtissuesarcomas/Symptomsdiagnosis/Staging/Staginggrading.aspx

MacMillan are helpful to phone and will talk you through such stuff .
If you phone be prepared for it to be a bit long winded - taking basic details ( so that if you phone again you don't have to go over it all again ) and being transferred .

www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/HowWeCanHelp.aspx

hugs

My DH was treated in 1994 for advanced, incurable cancer. His was 5 days of chemo in hospital, then 3 weeks at home for 3 months, then a month of daily Radium , then back to 3 months of Chemo being in hospital for the first week.
This was in Germany.

hello everybody
haven't been on this thread for a while
dh has finished chemo now and we're waiting for results of CT scan so fingers crossed for that
insomnia worse than ever though

ditto corny. more waiting. shit innit.... handholding and distraction while we wait?

Hi

Can I join? DH has been diagnosed with leukaemia we are waiting for tests to come back telling us what his staging is. It is difficult waiting. He is very young to be diagnosed apparently it is normally found in men in their 60's. It all feels very unfair.

Hugs to those waiting .

Hello MrsMC ,I'm new here myself but welcome .

When were the tests ? Do you have a date for the results ?

You can tell I'm new ,I'm currently as interested in waiting times for results as I am in the content of the results . IYSWIM .

Drinking hot water before I'm off for PET scan and nasty ( sure will be out of it and will not know ) ultrasound endoscopy .

Hi, just got dh's results today, it is thyroid cancer
He will get other half thyroid removed, then radio active treatment.
All seems a bit of a blow at the moment, was really feeling positive.

2 sugars
Was wondering what the results were and hoping they had made a mistake.
But, it will not involve chemo as not spread, which is the main thing.
Though, they took much too long in their diagnosis imo.

Hope it is all over with asap, now.

Thankyou dig and lisa
Bit of a shit day, I'll never forget the look in the nurses face as she led my dh back to me and little one in waiting room, I just knew then, as she wasn't aware we were waiting for him.
It was a look of pity which scared me.
dig I am worrying about a spread, would they know that now, all that was said was a couple of months ago at the biopsy the nurse just said that it is one area, I'm hoping that is still the case.
Phil as ever is thinking about income etc, and if he will be able to use his Internet during his RAI treatment. Typical.
I had a cry in the car when I got out of the hospital, he feels the worst us over, just getting it sorted and getting on with it.
I need to be strong and pick my chin up.
Have read the butterfly pack from cover to cover while he is out giving a lesson, going to work after being told this ! This is just how he is, so I'm going to make sure I've perked up by time he gets in ( in about 10 mins

hugs 2sugars
treatment with radioactive iodine very successful (DH and I read a lot on it as that's what they thought he had before nhl dx) it's still a blow when you've started getting your hopes up a bit tho. Offering hand-holding as much as you need. cry, rant, find out as much or as little info as you want. then get ready for battle. you're strong stuff

Twosugars I'm so sorry .

Being on the other side as it were , I honestly feel it's easier for the person with the diagnosis as opposed to the partner .

I think it feels so unreal to be diagnosed ,one feels cut off .

But the partner is more in tune with the harsh reality .

I'm not so sure that it's important for you to be cheerful - my partner is busy trying to pretend nothing is happening and is being cheerful . But it doesn't really touch me ,I just feel unreal . It would be all the same to me if he were upset .

Which is no help at all I know .