chat and hand-holding for those of us supporting a DH with cancer - new thread for the new year

[MrsShrek3]

sign in, folks :)
Hoping that 2013 brings better stuff for all of us.

me three. Lisa I know where you are but no clue about anyone else.
Hellen, I've PMd you

Hello everyone. Just popping in from the Children with Cancer thread to send you all hugs.

We survived the 'Festive Season' but I have to admit I found it very hard. Third Xmas since diagnosis. First was spent in hospital as only 6 weeks since op and chemo just started, second was spent at home but on chemo but relieved to have got him home. This Xmas felt more if a slog. No chemo since October as palliative chemo making him too ill. MRI at end if November shown (brain) tumour stable. Not seeing consultant until Mid-January. I'm on high alert for signs that tumour is growing (not seen any) but can't relax. It's like waiting for a bomb to go off - you can hear it ticking but have no idea of the time on the clock.

When caring for a loved one at Christmas and New Year you can feel spectacularly lonely as all around you 'normal' families are seeming effortlessly celebrating and looking forward to the year ahead. It fills me with dread :-(

Putting away the Xmas tree and decorations yesterday I had a little cry in the garden incase my son (18 years old) is not here next Christmas. Will I ever get to use these decorations again or could it be too painful. Everyday things are just that harder.

Sorry for that little moan. Just wanted to say hello and wishing everyone and their loved ones peaceful and happy days.

Xxxx

hugs, min
stable is good hope it continues

Oh Min you have summed it up so poignantly.

I had the exact same thought about putting the decs away.

I am in Hertfordshire if anyone is local pm me

X

So true. I do it too with the decs, birthday cards, all sorts.

I think you have others quite near you. I won't out who

if you arrange a meet up I am so gatecrashing it.

Drumroll......
Announcing the big 2014 meet up for all the amazing ladies on this thread.

Following a lengthy consultation period it has been suggested that Birmingham could be a possible location.

We just need to fix a date (simples right?)

Hope we can get this off the ground x

ditto to school holidays.
In theory I have weekends. in reality I have sport crazy dc and a weekend with usually five assorted sporting lessons, two matches and a county cross country comp. half a tank of petrol gone and three loads of washing to follow

school hols then
If corny is still around I might have a travel buddy too

Party of 3?!
Any other takers?

Is it going to take place this summer? Might be in Aus stealth boast, so will watch the planning from the sidelines. 'Cos everyone needs a plan B, right?

If I'm free and you'll have me, I'd love to come.

hehee oli

Oz is a bit far for a meet up for the rest of us

Have you seen this?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_blogs/1972805-Lord-Saatchi-To-prevent-more-needless-cancer-deaths-doctors-must-be-free-to-innovate?msgid=44519712#44519712

Couldn't help but comment.....

When I'm a millionaire I'll fly you all out with me - how's that!?

Am loading your link now Hellen, something tells me it won't be relaxing reading...

definitely, Oli

saw it and hid it (whilst sitting on my hands) Hellen

Hello everyone.

Unfortunately our time bomb has gone off. My DS started to show some neuro symptoms at the end of last week. These got worse over the weekend and an emergency MRI in Monday shows rapid tumour growth. There is nothing more they can do for him and have given him a few months max.

I am broken. And yet I feel manic. I have to act calmly in front of both my children (my other son is 16) with the turmoil going on inside. Last night after both boys were in bed I was watching something on tv and I laughed. Then I felt sick sick sick. It was like I had forgotten for a brief moment and my laugh broke that moment as reality flooded back in.

I don't know how to do this bit. How do you prepare your ill child, your healthy child, myself?

I also feel like a robot. I swing from despair to mania to robot.

oh min
sorry no clue what to say.
you will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

so sorry min, that's horrendous

love and support to you and your brood xx

My husband passed away this afternoon. Internal bleeding, which couldn't be stopped. Happened all so suddenly. Can't believe it.

so sorry
shocked. Terrible news.
Thinking of you ((hugs))

Does anyone have any knowledge adult continence pad things or know where I could ask about them?

Sorry handnt read thread so no idea how massively inappropriate that just was, pls ignore.

So sorry about your husband minute

Hello and goodbye everyone.
The funeral was held yesterday, and even though it was hard, I was ever so pleased with how everything went and especially the turnout. I don't think the reality of it all has quite sunken in yet, so not expecting too much of myself too soon. My parents, brother and some friends came over from Germany, which was nice, and parents are staying for another fortnight now to help out, which will be lovely.
Wishing you all the very best for your DHs, hugs to all. Over and out.

inamin, please keep in touch. here or elsewhere. Understandable if you need to move on. But please drop a line to say how you're doing. hugs