Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.



All welcome.

[Jacksmania]

I'd go for it.
Hate to post and run, I will be back, but yeah - I'd do it.

[thing1andthing2]

Hi craving cake, that's pretty much what I just had - refashioning the perineum as well as stitching up the muscles of the back wall. On my discharge letter it said "repair of defective perineum"
It was only 3 weeks ago so I can't tell you how much difference it has made. I am still supporting my perineum when I poo but there isn't really a bulge or anything, it just all feels tender. The surgeon advised a month's wait before having sex. I will report back on that when I'm brave enough to try (previously it was quite sore).
In terms of recovering, I had the op on Tuesday morning and I spent the rest of the week in bed unable to sit. It felt uncomfortable lifting even my baby (although he does weigh 20lbs!). Saturday I turned a corner and then by the next Tuesday, so one week after the op, I was looking after both children, even taking them both to the singing group and dancing around. By two weeks after the op I could sit comfortably on a soft cushion. I managed on paracetamol and ibuprofen and really the main pain (as long as I wasn't sitting) was trying to do a poo. Pooing felt very weird for about a week.

Hope that helps with making up your mind, everyone is different of course, but if you know what you might be dealing with in terms of op and recovery it might help you decide if the chance of improvement is worth it.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Hi everyone,
I posted a while back with fears about having my 2nd child after sustaining damage from the birth of my first daughter who was very large (almost 11lbs and i had bladder issues- urine urge issues and feeling that something was 'hanging out' which i think was cystocele)

You lovely ladies gave some lovely replies but I didnt come back as I was in denial about what might happen this time.

Roll forward a couple of months. I've had my 2nd baby. A lovely 2nd daughter who was nearly 10lbs so not small but the birth was much easier (amazing experience!!) with very short 2nd stage.

Im now 4wks post partum and I can feel the above issues again. They have only just appeared, I can assume due to swelling/ bruising in area but now i have the hanging out thing.

I know its early days, and hormones need to settle but I am beside myself about feeling like this for months again. Is there anything anyone knows that can be done to hold things in place for me? A pessary type thing? I am desperate. I cant be going to loo all the time, and feeling like this.

I am disproportionately upset about it today. I really need help ASAP but think I will be fobbed off by GP as it being too early.....

tia x

[thing1andthing2]

Oh Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear about your current experiences. It's not too early to get a referral to the gynae, especially as its a long standing problem. My gp made the referral for me after coming to do my house to do the new baby check when my baby was one day old (homebirth). (I had had the prolapse throughout pregnancy). I saw the gynae at 10 weeks postpartum. I had done my PFEs religiously and he was very happy with my pelvic floor strength and advised surgery straight away. I had a rectocele so I don't know if the advice will be different for a cystocele but I can't see why it should be.
If your gp is reluctant to refer just remind them that this isn't a new problem and it isn't going to go away (well hopefully it will but I always think its better to present worst case scenarios to doctors).
And loads of congratulations on your new DD! How wonderful, I hope you are managing to enjoy her despite feeling the same old problems.
And yes, I think ring pessaries are good for cystoceles if you want to put off surgery for a bit.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Thank for your post Thing1. I will get to the drs and I will also try and seek advice from women's physio that I had before. It's great to know there are pessary options. Have you had successful surgery? Did you have to be sure you didn't want more children before hand ?

Thanks again.

[thing1andthing2]

Yes I had surgery 3 weeks ago, ds was 18 weeks old. He just put some extra stitches in the back wall of my vagina to tighten up the muscles and refashioned the perineum. I think for a cystocele it's a different procedure, it might be more complicated, some of the other ladies on here could help with that. I don't want anymore children so it was straightforward for me to get it done right away.
Whether it was successful or not I'm not sure yet...

[cravingcake]

Thanks for your info Thing & Jacks. I'm away at moment so only able to get on mn on my phone, & not often. Theres lots to consider.

Gingerbread, hope you have managed to get in touch with your gp.

[cravingcake]

Just a quick update, i've decided to go ahead with the surgery & am booked for the 8th of Feb. Pre-asessment wont be until 23rd of Jan so have a few weeks to worry think of any questions.

Feeling quite nervous about it but after a long weekend of two 5hr car journeys & then non-stop housework and christmas shopping this week i definitely am feeling it so know it has to be worth a shot.

I think my main worry is the GA, the pain once the drugs wear off & risk of infection.

[Jacksmania]

Craving, I'm so glad you went ahead and booked the surgery. I think it will be worth it.
For what it's worth I always worry a bit about the GA, and then every time it's nothing. I'm always a bit dopey after but have never felt ill.
Pain - ask for really good pain control.
Infection - you'll most likely be given antibiotics. And when you go home, have salt baths. Every day. As hot as you can, for 15 mins. They really help with swelling and keeping everything clean.

I've just had a call to tell me my polyp removal has been changed to Jan 10. At 8:30 am. Happy days. That means we have to leave around 6:30 or 7 to get there with Vancouver traffic. Bleurgh.

[thing1andthing2]

Hi everyone! It's over a month since my op and yesterday I went to see a lovely GP to ask her to look at it. I am still supporting my perineum to poo and the vaginal entrance is still sore and prickly and I was worried it wasn't healing properly. Also I'd found a lump of scar tissue at the entrance which I didn't have before.
The GP examined me and said the repair looked good and I didn't need to support my perineum anymore, I was probably just doing that because I was nervous, however she did say there was an internal stitch poking through the skin which was causing the lump and the pain and pulling feeling. The surgeon has said these internal stitches in the muscle wouldn't dissolve for 3 months. The GP said I couldn't live with that poking me for 3 months so she's referred me back to have it removed (ouch).
She also noted my extreme anxiety about the whole thing (I cried all through the consultation) and reassured me repeatedly that the op looked successful and things would get back to normal eventually. I'm feeling quite a lot better now. I don't know why the whole thing bothers me so much but hopefully when this stitch is sorted I can put it all behind me!
How are the rest of you doing?

[cravingcake]

I've had a rough week or two, and have been back to my GP this morning as I just didnt feel the gynae consultant that I saw really understood where my pain is, and I dont think (going on my instincts here) the surgery they are offering will fix me.

I had a really good chat with my GP and she has recommended a different gynae consultant for me to see for a second opinion and she said she was quite annoyed with the original consultant I saw as she should have seen easily that its not just a skin tag and scar tissue that is the problem.

Feeling rather exhausted by it all at the moment, have not been sleeping properly, dont have anyone in RL who understands what this is like or that wants to talk about it. I'm not coping with anything that well at the moment - having some building work done to the house, I'm taking my ex-boss to court for non-payment of maternity & redundancy pay, we've recently decided to move 5 hours away from where we live now so trying to sort through things and find a new house, all while my DH works away during the week (hence deciding to move to improve this situation). I've been prescribed citalopram to help with my anxiety/stress levels (I've had it before) so hoping it will kick in fast and help get me back to a place where I can cope. Think an afternoon curled up on the sofa with my DS watching TV is in order to try to relax and chill out.

Sorry for rant, just need to get it out some days.

Thing1, glad things are improving. When are they removing the stitch? Hopefully before christmas.

[cravingcake]

Jacks, thank you also for your message, i had to run earlier but wanted to say i will still go ahead with surgery just want to have 2nd opinion to make sure its the right surgery if that makes sense.

At least you have the distraction of Christmas & new year to take your mind off your polyp removal (i'm always trying to find the positives in any situation).

[SimLondon]

wow you ladies are v.brave. I went to see my gp about things coming out of the wrong hole a few weeks post birth and he told me I couldnt possibly have a fissure - because i would have had to have been in the pushing stage for several days to get a fissure. Same GP also decided not to do an internal at the 6 weeks check, because he'd never come across a problem before.

Is it just me or do I need a new GP?

I found sex very painfull for a good year+ put it down to scar tissue, but I happened to be volunteering for a hip related issue at a post-grad osteopathic exam and the examiner picked up on a pelvis issue and that made a huge difference.

[Jacksmania]

Craving, well done you for getting a second opinion. I'm sorry you're having such an utterly shit time of it at the moment. :(

Sim - yyy to needing a new GP!!

I have had a rather draining few weeks. DH has been away (just back today, thank goodness) and tomorrow my lovely parents are coming for 10 days over Christmas. I'm very much looking forward to seeing them, but I hope my stepdad will bring his "willing to be pleased" self rather than his querulous and slightly difficult self. In his defence, he had a stroke in March and things are difficult for him... and I do love him to bits, but get rather fed up with his decades-long habit of really enjoying being spoilt and pandered to by my wonderful mum who, I think, deserves better than that and whom I blame for not giving him a swift kick up the bum by everyone.

I had a scare last Monday. Phone call from the GP saying "we want to see you tomorrow about the mammogram you had on Friday". You can imagine how I felt. DH away... it was not pretty. I posted a thread about it and had lots of people holding my hand (if any of you were on that thread, thank you ), and in the end it appears it's most likely a cyst. Having an ultrasound on Thursday to confirm.
When they say "your life passes in front of your eyes", it's really true. I was so utterly frightened. DS will be 5 in February. I have to be healthy for him!!

Anyway, I'll update on that when I get the U/S results, but meanwhile, for some good news, I got my consultation with the urogynaecology surgeon I've been referred to, and it's Jan 9, 2013! I never expected to be seen so soon. I'm having the polyp removed the day after, on the 10th. Bit of a heavy medical week, that week...

(((((HUGS))))) and and to all who need them.

[cravingcake]

Thanks Jacks, has definitely helped. I'm starting to get my christmas spirit back.

I know exactly how you feel regarding a suspected cyst. I've had this a few times now, each time I just kept telling myself it would be fine, it'll be nothing serious, you're doing the right thing being checked etc etc but I know how it just sits at the back of your mind until you have got the all clear. So hugs and hand holding for you. Completely understand, and do let us know (you should get results on the same day).

Sim, definitely try a new GP if you can.

[Twobuttonsaway]

Hi, hoping you can provide some advice! Ds2 was born 11 weeks ago - VBAC with forex eps and episiotomy. All seems to have healed from a wound perspective, but I have 2 issues...

1. leaking what I assume is urine leaving slight brownish stain. Had 2 lots of antibiotics post birth. Loss isn't stress related (no issues with holding it, sneezing etc). Feels like bubbling as it escapes and doesn't feel as if pelvic floor exercises will help. Any ideas?
   
   
2. first time we had sex last weeks (10 weeks pp) was excruciating and despite DH being gentle causes bleeding and pain for about 12 hrs after. Is this normal, have I been stitched up wrongly?
   
   Obviously am planning to go back to Drs, but appt won't be till mid jan, so when I spotted this thread I thought I would ask your advice.
   
   Thanks in advance

[Jacksmania]

Hi twobuttons, congratulations on your DS! It sounds like his birth was pretty tough though.
I'm wondering if the leaking is vaginal discharge rather than urine. I find that vaginal/cervical mucus sometimes feels "bubbly" even when there's no infection. I could be wrong and I've never really had ursine leakage but I don't think a ursine stain would be brownish? Happy to be corrected though if someone knows better.

As for sex - at 10 weeks PP I'd have run screaming from a penis . Well done you for trying! I expect you haven't completely healed internally, or, if you have, then the scar tissue, which is still pretty fragile at 11 weeks PP, might have stretched and bled.
Sorry, I don't feel I'm being very useful - middle of Jan does seem a long way away, could you maybe ask to be put on the cancellation list?

[Jacksmania]

FFS. Ursine should obviously be urine. I certainly hope you don't have bears leaking from anywhere!!
(New phone, it hates me.)

[Twobuttonsaway]

Thanks Jacks, am going to queue for cancellation once the festivities are over. Happy new year!

[Jacksmania]

And to you!
Happy New Year to all the Raggedies!

[cravingcake]

Happy New Year fellow Raggedies! Hope you all had a good festive time and are doing ok.

Jacks, hope you are doing alright with your appointments & procedures coming up.

Thing1, how are you recovering? Im due to see 2nd consultant at end of the month and depending on what she says will mean what sort of surgery i have.

Twobuttons, how are getting on?

[EauRouge]

Greetings, raggedies. I'm new to this (well, not to having a ruined fanjo but new to doing something about it).

Have 2 DDs, straightforward deliveries both times but 2nd degree tear both times. With DD1 they didn't do a very good job and after DD2 it got slightly worse. The main problem is a big skin tag that sometimes gets caught or is uncomfortable during sex or even when I'm using a tampon.

I've seen a consultant who was really nice and positive but after reading that surgery can sometimes make things worse I'm really nervous- what if I end up with another skin tag? The whole point of getting this done is to get rid of it! Part of me thinks I should just put up with it and not bother with surgery but it does really affect our sex life, partly because it's uncomfortable sometimes and partly because I'm self conscious of having a massive mutant skin tag thing poking out.

Also I'm nervous about the recovery- the surgery should be fairly minor but will I be able to walk around etc straight away? How soon do you think I'll be able to go running again?

Looking forward to sharing TMI with you that my friends don't want to hear about

[snoozed]

Hello all, can I join?

Just found out that I'll probably need surgery to repair / 'refashion' (doc's words)a second degree tear which has not healed well, plus potentially a neuroma has developed. Waiting for referral to consultant.

This is almost 11mo post birth, having been fobbed off at 7months by a registrar who told me I needed psychosexual counselling!

As Eau says, what is recovery like from these ops? This worries me. However there is no option really as sex is not possible as too painful

[cravingcake]

Hi Eau & Snoozed.

If you read back a page or two Thing1 has described her experience of the procedure, and her recovery so far. It seems there's a few of us going through this.

I know exactly what you mean EauRouge, my friends in RL don't want to hear about this, I just tell them that I'm getting the bits fixed that my DS damaged on his way into the world (most of them know I had a 4th degree tear, I can tell which of my friends have googled this and which ones haven't) .

[snoozed]

Thanks cravingcake - just had a read, very helpful. Hope your recovery is going well thing1.