Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

Hope is indeed good :)

Cake & wine is definitely required. Should be prescribed really when having one of those days when nothing goes right, or the smallest thing upsets the balance.

I think i've worked out why i've been in more pain than usual, its a new PMT sympton. Just started the worst heaviest period i've had in a long time. Anyone else get this?

Cake & wine is the only thing keeping me sane. Theres more wine in the fridge & cake sliced if anyone wants to help themselves

I recently saw recipe for Triple Caramel Cake. I think that's the next must-try.

When I have my period, my entire perineum aches. I feel like I've been kicked in the crotch with steel-toed boots. The ache only goes away when I lie down.

Triple caramel cake? Nom
Nom. I may bake myself bake to my pregnancy Weight.

Triple Caramel sounds very good, although I'm leaning more towards a heavy thick chocolate cake, heated in the microwave to just warm and a little bit gooey. mmmmmm

Anyone up for a recipe swap?

We just arrived in Toronto (GMT -5) at my mum's. I haven't talked to her about the consultant appointment in detail yet. Talked a little bit to DH about it today. He does a specialized kind of bodywork called Rolfing or Structural Integration and had a client a year or do ago who had terrible unremitting perineal pain from a vasectomy gone wrong. He was actualky able to relieve most, if not all, the client's pain (I was so ridiculously proud of him). He mentioned this client today, and how the ongoing pain had caused him to suffer from depression and anxiety, and then paused and said "that must be what it's like for you. If only it could be fixed without surgery." DH doesn't always say much (I certainly don't go on about my problems anymore, why bother, talking about it doesn't help) but it was nice to feel like he really "got it".

Jacks must be So nice that your DH 'Gets it'. Mine is still in the 'shit happens when you have a kid' and you wouldn't swap your children so why whinge stage' . I have already googled triple chocolate cake... Nom nom

Jacks, that must be nice to hear. I dont think blokes realise how much something so simple like that means.

Midget, thats about where mine is too. He will listen but is very much of the 'well you dont know what exactly is wrong yet so dont worry about it until you know'. (which all going well will be Wednesday next week when I see the gynae consultant).

I havent ever made chocolate cake, I normally buy it. But I do make a mean cheesecake and carrott cake.

Cheese and carrot cake?

:o

Ohhh, yes agree cheese and carrot cake would be ewww!

Just to clarify, i have a great recipe for cheesecake and another great recipe for a carrott cake :)

hi guys im a bit late on this thread, i wondered if anyone is still here? im in need of someone to talk to. I had a beautiful baby boy 11 weeks ago, but with a horrific birth - lost nearly 2.5 pints of blood, had forceps with an epistomy and a 4th degree tear to the internal and external schpinter muscles. Leaving me with a colostomy which im told is temporary until they heal from the stitches. Im damnned sure i have a fistula (connected bwteen my vag and my bum) which mens further operations before they even THINK about reversing my colostomy. I have 3 main tests to go through before any of that but my main question is has anybody been through this, what happened, etc, thanks

Hi LISA, there were several posters on the last two threads who've been through a similar experience. I'm so sorry, how utterly horrible for you. :(
I'm on my phone which makes searching a bit difficult, but will try to borrow my mum's laptop later (we're away visiting her). Meanwhile, if you do an advanced search, in this topic (General Health) and search posts by Cyee, KellyKettle or ThingOne (not thing1thing2 who's already on here) - I don't have all the stories straight but one, if not more of them, have had a colostomy. Perhaps reading their stories will help enough, if not, I guarantee none of them would mind if you PMd them for advice. Or perhaps start your own thread, maybe colostomy in the title will draw those who have experience to share.
But do please come back here for handholding and ongoing support. We're good at that.
Congratulations on your little one - but it's bittersweet, isn't it, when you're so happy on one hand, and on the other so shellshocked and aghast at how wrong it all went.
I remember thinking for months after (DS is now 4.9) that I couldn't believe what had happened.

Sympathies, cake, and/or . Or all of the above.

I am so sorry for everything you have gone through LISA. That sounds so traumatic. Wish there was something more helpful I could add, but you have all my sympathy.

lisa i really feel for you. I had 4th degree tear 13 months ago but not to the extent you have had (didnt need colostomy). The ladies here are very kind and if nothing else are very good at reassuring/handholding while waiting for results and appointments.

I can only offer another hand to hold and cyber cake as i'm still waiting for a gynae consultant appointment to find out whats wrong with me.

hi guys thank you so much for replying it makes me feel like im not totally alone in it all. im still a bit shell shocked with it all but as time goes on i think it would help to talk to others that have had a similar thing happen to them. CRAVINGCAKE did you tear your spincter muscles? i was left waiting for theatre for over 3 hours before they realised to what extent what had actually happened 'up there', im told injured muscles retract over time which may not have helped. i do hope you get some good results from your gynae. Thanks JACKSMANIA i will do that, sending you all hugs and thanks again xxx

LISA it is really good that found this site! We are all so happy to listen and offer sympathy and . It's just so unfair that you needed to find somewhere like this in the first place.

You aren't alone.

Lisa, yes i did. I had traumatic birth too, with forceps, episiotomy which also tore. We also had shoulder dystocia (when head is out but shoulders stuck). Thankfully the consultant recognised straight away the extent of my tear and i was wheeled straight into surgery within about 30 mins after delivery. Maybe the delay for you was also that there wasnt surgery available as someone may have already been in there?

I hadnt had problems with incontenence until recently, and so felt like i'd been really lucky and got away with it but i've been back to gp who immediatley said that i have a defect, which the lovely mums on here were able to tell me more about. And also i have skin tag and overgrowth of my scars.

I had ptsd and pnd and have had counselling to help me understand what happened and come to terms with it.

Bloody PTSD :(

PTSD is terrible.

Hello, another ragged undercarriage here!
I need some advice really, I'm 10 days pp with an unstitched 2nd degree tear and some pretty hideous piles. Piles are being sorted with prescription cream- seems to be working really well.
The tear is healing nicely apparently with a tiny extra flap of skin.
I've had an episiotomy with my first which took about 12 weeks to heal, in hindsight it was bloody horrendous and although I showed and told midwives no one cared. Had a terrible dragging aching feeling, much like a heavy period.
I had a tiny tear with my second and was fine, healed well.
I am experiencing that dragging feeling again and I know it's early days but ow also feeling some pressure. Still bleeding but that normal...I think.
I can't stand up for very long,
Can anyone advise? Sorry to dump my story on you but I have no one in RL to talk to about it.
Thank you :)
P.S I agree PTSD is really quite horrid

Ugh, that dragging feeling :( and not being able to stand up.
I think that's what happens post-partum when your pelvic floor is knackered and don't hold things up well.
Do you think you could just gently start PFEs? Just a gentle pulling-everything-up kind of exercise? You probably won't feel much and I don't know if it will do anything, but could be worth a try.

Congratulations on your little one but :( that you have to go through this.

And we're here to have stories "dumped on us" :)

Thank you for replying!
God it's crap isn't it? My DS3 is such a sweet little thing I'm gutted to be going through again.
I'll try some pelvic floors/ lifting everything up.
I shouldn't be lifting toddlers should I? Seem to vaguely recall hearing something about that? I wonder if picking DS1 and 2 up was actually not a wise move and might be contributing to the pain I'm in
Should I be doing some exercises? Why has no one given me any info?

Seabuck, definitely do some pelvic floor excercises whenever you think about (maybe while feeding DS3). Like Jacks said, you probably wont be able to feel it but it will help. Maybe try taking arnica as well to help with any brusing, and ibuprofen will reduce swelling.

No idea whether you should be lifting toddlers but maybe wherever possible get others to lift (i.e. DH carry and put to bed, you can still give them a kiss goodnight).

You could contact your midwife and let her know that you have that same dragging feeling (its awful isnt it) and you want some advice as to what you should or shouldnt do. You could also contact your GP and ask them to have a look at it too, although they may say its too early to tell if theres anything wrong.

And congratulations on your baby.

Hi, I'm after some opinions....

I've seen a gynae consultant today (who called in head consultant) who both did a thorough internal exam and said that everything is ok, in the sense of no problems with a defect (despite what gp said just 3 weeks ago), but where i was stitched is painful so they've offered a re-fashion of my perinium, which has a 50/50 chance of being effective.

Is it worth the surgery & pain recovering? They both also said that my heavy dragging feeling is just part of childbirth, where things have moved and have found their 'new' position. They said they couldnt fix that feeling, just possibly reduce the pain from my scars (internal, but near the outside).

Any advice, comments etc welcome.

At the moment i'm thinking its worth a go, 50% chance it will improve my pain so not a lot to lose other than a couple of weeks of pain/recovery.

Thanks in advance.