Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.



All welcome.

[Tr0ubled]

Good morning everyone. I hope you don't mind but I'm popping over from 'any old prolapse' as I'm hoping one of you may be able to help.

I had a very fast labour with my firstborn, a DS, a grade 2/3 tear and an episiotomy that was stitched by a student. It had to be redone 6 weeks later as he'd stitched me incorrectly and in redoing it they had to remove part of my labia :(. Anyway 10 days later I got a horrific infection and it all broke down.

My DD was a wonderful birth, I tore though but requested no stitches. I healed with a skin tag which was removed under local anaesthetic (with my DD next to me in her pram!) EauRouge this op took about 10 minutes and the stitches dissolved within 2 weeks, I only needed 1 day resting at home and pain relief for about 48hrs.

My ruined perenium has led to a large rectocele (lots of lovely tests to diagnose this over the last 18 months). Finally I was booked in for surgery just before Christmas, went in at 7am but was sent home by 9am - do not take arnica before surgery as apparently it can cause extreme blood loss due to its blood thinning properties. Anyway I was actually relieved to be sent home as when the surgeon examined me she discovered I now have a cystocele and my surgery would include an anterior repair plus the possibility of a sacrospinous fixation or sacrohysteropexy (stitching the cervix up to ligaments in the pelvis).

So I'm still on my rollercoaster and don't yet have a new date for surgery and this has prompted me to look at going privately but where to start? I'm in London and wondered if any of you have a Urogynacologist that you'd recommend?
(Sorry for the very long post)

[EauRouge]

Thanks, Tr0ubled, that's very reassuring :) I hope you manage to find a good urogynaecologist.

[Thundercarriage]

Hello, was wondering if I could ask for some advice.

I noticed while I was pg with DC2 that things looked a bit different down below - basically looked as though something was bulging a bit at the back/bottom of my vjj and I was a bit worried about some sort of prolapse. Asked advice on MN and heard from a few mums who said they'd had this during pregnancy with weight of baby pushing down on things and it went back afterwards, so ignored put it to the back of my mind for a bit.

DC2 is now over a year and things still look much the same. I know I should probably go to the GP to get it checked out but I'm just slightly worried that this is completely normal and I will look like an idiot for asking and showing them my bits Is this normal/common after two kids or is it something I should get looked at?

I'm also wondering whether my pelvic floor is in spasm sometimes - often feels a bit odd. I'm also sometimes having trouble emptying my bladder, no pain though.

Anyway, think that's enough oversharing for now, bed time for me :) G'night.

[EauRouge]

I would get it checked out. I also have a bit of bulging but GP said it was not a prolapse and that I just need to keep up with my pelvic floor exercises more. If you're having trouble doing them then you might be able to get a referral to a physio.

Don't just put up with it! I think a lot of us do because everyone always says things are different after you've had a baby, but that doesn't mean that you should have to put up with something if it can be fixed.

[Jacksmania]

Hi all, wanted to post an update.
I will read back and see if I can answer any questions but right at the moment I can't see past my own troubles :( so need to vent a bit.

Saw urogynae specialist on Weds. It turns out that I will need an abdominal hysterectomy with bladder lift and enterocoele repair for my prolapse. I should probably pop over to the "Any old prolapse" thread but right now can't bear to, don't know why. Am really struggling emotionally. I can't believe that 5 years after DS's shitstorm birth it's come down to needing a hysterectomy. It can't be done effectively any other way, I asked - the failure rate for sacrohysteropexy for my type of prolapse is quite high, especially since my work is very physical and I am very active.

Does it sound stupid when I say I'm grieving for my poor uterus? It's done nothing wrong. All it did was grow the most wonderful baby ever and try to get him out, and we both got completely fucked over by my twat of a midwife and the OB who thought it was ok to let me push for 4+ hours and then use forceps to get DS out. I'm so angry. Just so angry.

[Kveta]

not sure I totally belong here, but need advice, and you guys all seem sadly knowledgeable about ragged bits :(

7 months since DD arrived via kiellands forceps, and 3ys 3months since DS arrived via regular forceps and my bits are not happy ones.

I only had 2nd degree tears and 'significant' episiotomies, but despite it all healing, sex is still very sore, and I always tear a bit and bleed after it :( Obviously not very often as we have 2 young children, but I am sick of it. Have always been sore (first boyfriend I had raped me, and I tore, and it was always sore after that) but now it is worse. Plus my pelvic floor seems to have given up, so I pee during sex, and when running after the 3yo etc

I know I need to go to GP, but I HATE having anyone look at my bits, smears render me unable to sleep for weeks. gah.

sorry it's such a minor thing to complain about, but I am not a forceps fan now!

[Jacksmania]

I, too, think forceps should be banned :(

I think you do need to go back to the GP, as much as you hate it. Ask the GP to check for a condition called vestibulitis. It often happens after trauma of any kind to the vulva. Can be helped hugely by application of oestrogen cream, or steroid cream.

I'm so sorry all this has happened to you. May I ask if you've had any counselling for the rape, and the forceps deliveries?
((((HUGS))))

[Jacksmania]

Ok, have read back a bit now.

Thundercarriage - bulging of bits of any kind, IMO, should be investigated. I know how hard it is to go to the GP and show off your undercarriage, but they'll have seen hundreds of others, and it's only a body to them. I'm not trying to dismiss your sense of , please don't think that, only to reassure you that what's to us is to them.
Regarding your pelvic floor feeling a bit funny and peeing during sex (poor you!!!!!!) I think you should be sent to a pelvic floor physio and be evaluated for a cystocole - basically the bladder has fallen down and is pressing into the anterior wall of the vagina. It can make it feel like you can't empty your bladder completely.

For whoever asked about the surgery to re-fashion the perineum, I had that done. Mine was a bit more extensive than that (also included intravaginal repair. I spent one night in hospital, and wasn't terribly active the week after, had to do Epsom salt baths every day, but was walking around within 5 days (which might have been a bit much actually) and back to work in 2 1/2 weeks. My work is pretty physical so I wish I'd had longer, but as I said, it was a bit more than just a perineal repair.

[EauRouge]

Hi Kveta , sorry about all your troubles- it doesn't sound minor at all! I'm seeing a brilliant counsellor who specialises in psychosexual disorders, she's been brilliant about trying to get my head straight. I've never been raped but had shitty midwives so also have issues about medical people messing with my bits. The counsellor is NHS so might be worth asking if there's a specialist like that near you.

I took a tranquilliser when I went to see the consultant about my surgery. Could you ask your GP for something to help you relax, do you think that would help?

Jacks Thanks for posting about your perineal repair experience. I thought that's what I was having but the last letter the hospital sent me said something different I'm going in for pre-op tests this week so I think I'll have to ask exactly what is going on. Am hoping it's going to be a quick recovery, whatever it is!

[cravingcake]

Hi Jacks, just wanted to say you do not sound stupid for grieving for your uterus. Hysterectomy is a very final thing and I know I would feel exactly the same, someone is taking away that part of you (and the chance to have any more children yourself) so I would say its a very normal reaction. I hope you are coping ok. Big hugs and chocolate are needed for you.

Kveta your troubles are not minor. If it affects your day to day life then you really do need to see your GP. Also, it may be worth trying hypnosis therapy first, as this can help teach you relaxation techniques to help you cope (I have had this and can tell you more if you are interested). I too hate the examinations (think we all do).

[WhodveThought]

Jacks- I am so sorry. That's horrible. How dare someone do so much damage to you that you end up with this as a solution. I wish I could do something for you. I send you hugs though and I am angry on your behalf.

[WhodveThought]

My bladder is now falling apart on me. I had an accident (at home thank god) yesterday. My daughter (2 yo) saw it all and told me 'it's ok, just a accident. Clean it up'. And I felt like sobbing.

[Jacksmania]

Oh goodness :(
I'd have cried, too.
Thanks for the kind words, and wind and chocolate :)
I'm still feeling fairly crappy about it all.

Whodvethought, are you going to get your bladder checked out?

[Kveta]

thanks so much Jacksmania, that does sound like it could be my problem. need to gird my loins so to speak and make an appointment.

sorry to hear about your problems, it sounds utterly miserable :( hope you are well looked after whilst you recover from your op.

back at Eau yes I had counselling a few years ago, and am starting CBT at some point for mild PND.

I do sometimes wonder if I'm making a big fuss over nothing, then HCPs take me seriously, so I guess I need to tell them about my knackered bits too!

[Jacksmania]

I do sometimes wonder if I'm making a big fuss over nothing, then HCPs take me seriously, so I guess I need to tell them about my knackered bits too!

^ :o

That made me :o

[WhodveThought]

Jacks- I don't know. I can't be bothered tbh. I am just so tired of it all and the thought of more poking and prodding and specialists is just exhausting. I know that is self-defeating but I have had so little progress with all these tests and appointments. Every time I see someone they find something new to examine or test me for and it's unfailingly dehumanising and humiliating.

Sorry, am having a bad day here! Excuse the doom and gloom.

[Jacksmania]

Would help?

[WhodveThought]

wine always helps! Cheers

[Sossiges]

Hi, have just given birth and yesterday I noticed a long lump of skin (?) hanging down from my vag, was about 5cm long last night and must have gone back in overnight as was about 2cm this morning, however now back to 5cm. Looks like an empty sausage skin. Does anyone know what this could be? Rang the midwives' office but they haven't got back to me yet. Sorry, I know this isn't very exciting compared to all your war stories but if anyone has any idea???

[cravingcake]

Hi Sossiges. I would recommend you call your normal gp and get them to look at it. Did you tear? If so it could be a skin tag where they stitched. However if you have only recently given birth you may need to wait a couple of months for things to settle down (swelling/bruising etc) before it can be removed or fixed.

Congratulations on your new baby

[Sossiges]

Hi and thanks for the answer. No, no tear, just the weird dangly bit!
Only gave birth on Tuesday, so yes, I would agree things need to settle down again. Will go to gp on Monday, see if he has any ideas.

[Jacksmania]

I have I idea what that could be.
Do come back and let us know, will you?

Congratulations on your little one!!!

[Jacksmania]

Sigh.
This phone hates me.

I have no idea... is what I meant.

[Monix32]

Hi Everyone, let me introduce myself, I'm from Spain, so my english is not very good, but i can not find any kind of information or forums in my own language so at the end i starrt looking pages on the net in english...and I found this threat.
I had my boy last November, really bad labor, lots of hours, forceps and third degree tear plus episotomy...noone explained me anything about it, they just told me to take laxantes and gave me an app 6 weeks before to pelvic floor unit, I was wonder what for?? Until I discovered by myself with a couple of fecal incomtinence accidents!!!
Now, after the app I started to do kegel exercise with a phisio and I can feel just a bit improve there, but very little.
My situation is like all of you can imagine very sad, I'm very depress, very sad, dont go out of my home bc im afraid of these accidents to happen again and Im positive that I cant hold loose stools (sorry I know TMI). By the end of the month Im doing anal eco and manometry in order to see the real damage....
I would like to keep in touch with you ladies, as I feel really alone with my problem, In my country things are worst than in yours, lack of information, etc...
Thanks for listen to me and sorry for my english, I understand pretty well but writting is not easy .

[Jacksmania]

Hi Monix, your English writing is brilliant :)
Congratulations on your baby boy. I'm sorry it was such a horrible experience :(
As I'm sure you've read, lots of us have gone through similar, so we're here to keep you company. This thread doesn't always get a lot of answers quickly, but keep checking back, someone will be along!

I had the same as you, fecal incontinence after my son's birth. Forceps, third, possibly fourth degree tear. I refused to leave the house when I had loose stools! Or I'd wear one of Jack's nappies in my pants . I know exactly how you feel. In my case, it lasted a few months before I really felt like I had some control back. It's horrible. I really feel for you.

Welcome to the thread - we're sorry you had to come looking for us, but we're glad you found us :)