Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

Just a quick hello from me :)

Another ragged fanny/backside after a prolonged labour and brutal forceps delivery here :( Add to that coeliac disease and colitits and well...it's hard sometimes to keep up the appearance of normality.

I had anal manometry testing and an anal ultrasound yesterday...waiting for a call back from my gynae with a follow up appointment to let me know the results. And I need to chase up the gynaecological physios as I had to cancel my last appointment due to illness and haven't heard back yet.

and it wasn't without irony that my appointment yesterday was on the fourth anniversary of me going into labour with the cause of my problems, bless his little heart!!

I am also having issues with irregular bleeding, but that's a whole other thread; I've just stopped bleeding after more than 30 days covering two periods. GRIM

If there is reincarnation I hope to the gods that I come back as a man!

Well, let's hope you don't come back as my poor client who just came in suffering from a testicular torsion (ouch!!!)

Two weeks until my gynae specialist appointment. We'll see what she says about my fallen fanjo and weird cycles.

Can I join you for a few weeks ladies? I need someone to hold my hand waiting for a mini pelvic floor repair next week, under a local anaesthetic. Yes, I am going to let someone cut into my genitals while I am awake. I'm waking up at 3am worrying about it.
My back story is that I had a homebirth with DC1 nearly three years ago. I tore, midwives said 2nd degree. The shift changed and I was left with a new mw who had a tremor in her hands and I let her stitch me up. Months later my perineum was still sore, and I had muscle laxity on the posterior wall (like a rectocele). It all got much worse in my 2nd preg, but I had my baby boy at home in July with no tearing and no stitches. Got a proper referral to a specialist gynae and he said the tear from the first birth was not stitched up properly leaving me with the rectocele and a hard ridge on the perineum which will always be sore especially during sex.
I'm having a cut and restitch next week and because ds is only 4 months old and breastfeeding, they will do it under LA with no sedative. I've just got to be brave. Please hold my hand.

You're so brave . Having said that, they can do a really really deep local anaesthetic using what's called a pudendal block. They infiltrate the pudendal nerves on either side of the perineum with lidocaine or marcaine or similar and really, you'll feel about as much as a block of wood.
It will be fine. The idea is terrible, I would have a hard time with the concept, but I'm positive you'll be glad you did it.
Hands are here as long as you need them. But you must update after!!!
Everyone's story helps the next person who finds this thread.

I understand the awake at 3am worrying. I have been doing that too recently. You are very brave to have your procedure with local anesthetic, braver than me thats for sure.

ooh, thing1, you ARE brave! Re the anaesthetic though; I had my gallbladder removed when my DS was 3 months old, and through all the research I did, everything said that once the anaesthetic is out of your system enough for you to be awake, then you are OK to breastfeed. I was in overnight after the op though and just left oodles and oodles of expressed milk, and then pumped and dumped. My DH brought DS2 in to the hospital in the afternoon/evening after the op and I fed him myself as much as I could during that time. The painkillers post op were no stronger than those given post C section so BFing on those was just fine.

It might be something to consider, if the thought of a local is worrying you that much.
The Breastfeeding Network and La Leche League had lots of info on GA and breastfeeding iirc.

Thank you all for your support. It's just a day case so I will be home same day but I can't have ds on the ward because its a surgical gynae ward dealing with miscarriages etc so they don't want happy smiley babies. I totally understand but I did cry when they said I couldn't have ds with me! So they said they would try to put me first on the list. I hope it is the pudendal block thing, that sounds good. I'm just going to try some hippy self-hypnosis and pretend I'm on a tropical beach or something while they snip and stitch my fanjo .
The next problem is we are away from home at the moment and have just discovered the MOT was due on the car yesterday and so if we can't get it MOT'ed tomorrow we're screwed for getting back in time for the op!

Oh crap

By the way, this is the blog gussiegrips was linking to in her post above. Well worth reading.

Hooray, our 12 year old car passed its MOT! We're off home today (3 hour drive, with a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Fun fun fun).

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Home from op now, all done and dusted v v quick. They put me first on the list, because I turned up with my baby and I think they wanted us all out of there ASAP!
Everyone was super nice. Walked to theatre at about 8.50. Legs in stirrups but draped all over with sheets and blankets. Having the local put in was a bit sore and zingy and I started to hyperventilate and get a bit worked up. So I asked for a sedative. By the time the anaesthetist had come in, asked me some questions and started looking for a vein, the surgeon said he was closing up. I hadn't even noticed him start. So I said don't bother with the sedative as the worst bit was over. They gave me oxygen to help me breathe slower and it was all finished by 9.10. Had a nice chat with the nurse in the recovery room and went back to the ward where I was given two cups of tea and a sandwich.
Home 2 hours later and my fanjo is very sore but I've got lots of painkillers and lots of help with the kids so I'm just going to stay in bed.
I'm crossing my fingers it will be ok... Hope I won't need to clutch my perineum to do a poo any more and maybe sex will be comfortable again if we ever find time to try! I've got to wait a month before trying to have sex.
Thanks for the handholding, I needed it.

How is everyone else doing?

So happy that it was over so quickly!
Big relief, hey?
I overdid it in the garden yesterday (planting trees and shrubs) and I have my period which means I'm grumpy and exhausted today.

That all sounds really good for you Thing1. Hope you can have a peaceful night's sleep and take advantage of the help!

I'm still waiting for my appointment with the gynae consultant but have been promised it will be with me by Monday's post at the latest.

Feeling rubbish today. Still in pain when walking around or sitting and I'm finding doing a poo is preoccupying me for a lot of the time. I've been taking movicol to make sure I don't get constipated but needing to do a poo is so painful and I'm so scared of stretching or bursting the stitches. It also still feels like it all bulges downwards when I do get the courage to go to the loo so I'm not sure yet that the op has made any difference.
I guess the muscles have all been cut though so they aren't going to be at their strongest just yet.
On the upside I haven't had any coccyx pain since the operation (I'd been suffering with that since the birth of ds 4 months ago).
DH looked at it yesterday as I was worried I might be getting an infection, and he said it looked red and bruised but not out of the ordinary. I said did it look different from before and he said it was so long since he'd seen that part of me he couldn't remember what it looked like. I hope we can get some semblance of sex life up and running some time, but what with all the prodding and poking of my ladybits by doctors, plus breastfeeding and a baby who still feeds 3 times a night, I haven't got much sex drive, to be honest.

Ps sorry if I'm being insensitive to all the other ladies who are worse off than me, I am thinking of you all and know I should be pleased that I've at least had someone take me seriously and try and fix the problem

You're not being insensitive at all, that sounds very unpleasant. Hope it improves soon, have you got any painkillers to cope with the pain?

PS I've been here before under a name change - I go on mumsnet on my phone and it's a real nuisance to keep name changing to contribute.

Hi Chased :)

Thing1 - seriously, everyone's concerns are important. Nothing is too trivial or less than anyone else's issue. Please know that we're here for you and anyone else whether you had your entire anatomy rearranged or got a paper cut :)
well, maybe not a paper cut :o

That sounds so uncomfortable. I can highly recommend microwaving a wheat bag so it's nice and warm and sitting on it. Gentle heat can feel so good on bruised and swollen bits. Also, a salt bath. I was told after both my repair ops to have lots if salt baths, to treat it just like I'd had a baby.

:( that the bulging down feeling is still there. Gah!!!!
When are you going for a follow-up visit to the surgeon/GP/anyone?

Thanks chased and jacks.
Got a follow up at the end of February, it seems a bit mad, but I guess if it heals well there's nothing else they can do so no point checking before then, if I get an infection I'm to go to the GP.
I'm taking ibuprofen and paracetamol, the hospital gave me codeine but I only took it once because I'm so afraid of constipation!
Anyway, I've done 3 poos today and I'm very proud of myself for only crying a little bit. Maybe I'll ease off on the movicol now! My DH has just gone to the shop to look for formula so I don't have to keep feeding our enormous, 98th centile baby.

Oh, I had one of those :o
Not at birth - although that might have been better for me. If he'd been humungous they might have pulled their heads out of their arses sooner and nipped him out through the sunroof. As it was they thought he was a small baby (he was, only 7 lbs 7 oz) so made me try to push him out and here we are . But then I'd never have found MN. Was looking for support for my poor damaged bits and my poor damaged mind (PTSD and anxiety disorder after his birth). And my life is so much richer and funnier thanks to MN. :)

But I digress. Jackboy was born at 7 lbs 7 oz, dropped to 6 lbs 10 by the time I was discharged, and then when my milk came in he turned into a butterball :o. 8 lbs 4 oz by 2 weeks and 12 lbs by 6 weeks! He'd hit 20 lbs at 6 months. I have a picture of him propped on the sofa at 6 months in only a nappy (it was a hot July) and even his rolls had rolls :o

Yes sounds like ds. He was 8lb 8oz at birth so not humongous but then fed and fed and fed, hitting 14lb11 at 8 weeks and 18lb at 15 weeks. I haven't had him weighed since (he's 19 weeks today). I'm wondering about starting weaning early but I'm going to wait until he can sit up by himself. I did blw of sorts with DD but it was slow going getting her to take much so I might see if I can shovel purée into ds. Just so weaning goes quicker and he slackens off the breastfeeding a bit. I will wait till December at least though.
Happily I feel I've turned a corner today. The stitches are still zingy but the heaviness and bruising feeling has gone, I'm less scared of doing a poo and I've found getting up and staying upright doing a bit round the house is helping mu bowels get moving a bit more effectively.
I can kind of see a light at the end of the tunnel. Still in the far distance but still. I've got both kids on my own all day tomorrow so that should be fun . I can't face lugging my double buggy in and out of the house (2 steps in and out) so I think we'll just stay home.

That's probably wise! I know I don't have to warn you about overdoing it :)
We've all been there. Feeling great, so doing more. Next day, feeling like crap.

Hit post too soon: meant to say, good luck with weaning your little turkey! Holy cow, you must have cream in there :)
There was no chance if weaning mine early. He was stapled to my breast for a full year before he'd even entertain the idea of anything else.

Just came on to say it's a week since the operation now and I'm feeling loads better. I can sit for up to an hour as long as I've got my soft cushion, and I've looked after both children for two whole days on my own with no apparent relapses! Even pooing is getting less scary and I am starting to feel like I might one day be able to poo normally. Painkillers down to 3x a day...
Just wish ds would sleep a bit and everything would be rosy....

You're doing so well!! :) I'm so happy for you.

Having a tough week myself. Baaaaaaad case of nerves. Specialist gynae appt coming up on Friday. Will discuss my prolapse, the polyp my GP found at my last smear, my irregular cycles and where to go from here. Am feeling anxious and fraught and am being horrible to my poor DH because I'm just so bloody scared of another op and everything that goes with it... but also want it sorted.
Gah.