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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

969 replies

Jacksmania · 26/10/2012 19:08

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

OP posts:
cardamomginger · 15/03/2013 15:58

Thank you XXXX

lougle · 15/03/2013 23:47

Can I ask some advice please? I was going to namechange, but I find it all so labourious.

I used to have very easy and regular bowel movements pre-children. In fact, DH used to call be 'teflon bowels' because I could use the toilet so quickly. Perfectly normal.

When I had DD1 I had an induced labour. The midwives didn't realise I was in active labour until I was 10cm dilated because they thought my very frequent contractions were 'prostin pains'. My total labour was about 4 hours, the pushing stage was over an hour.

I had a 2nd degree tear, repaired by continuous stitch. I have a palpable scar line inside my vagina, but other than that, no issue with scar pain, etc.

I went on to have DD2 20 months later, with just a small graze. DD3 was born 20 months after that, with no tearing.

Since having the children, bowel movements have been less regular and I have a tendency to constipation if I don't manage fluid intake carefully.

In recent months, I've found that I have a sensation of fullness, but then can't go to the toilet. It's almost as if I have sensation higher up, so feel the urge to go, but then as the stool passes down the rectum, the nerves are numbed, and I can't sense the stool sufficiently to activate the necessary muscle contractions.

I also feel like there is a big pocket which the stool moves into. In fact, in the last few months, I've found that the only way to avoid a very prolonged wait on the toilet for gravity to take effect, is to put my fingers inside my vagina and put pressure on one side of the rear of my vaginal wall, and even to feel for formed stools and push them down the passage with my finger, until they get to the part of my rectum that seems to still have nerve sensation, at which point my bowel contracts as it should.

Does that sound crazy?
However,

Jacksmania · 16/03/2013 01:51

Hi lougle, no, that doesn't sound crazy. It sounds like what lots of us have, including me - not as bad as you, where I have to put manual pressure either inside our outside, but for me, the only way to complete evacuate my bowels is to wait until I really have to go, so there's quite a bit of pressure, and then sit down and lean way forward - almost put my head between my knees. Definitely hands on the floor. Then I find things come out quickly and completely. Mine is a mild rectocele. Your sounds a little worse than mild.
As agonizing as it would be to see your GP and ask to be referred on to a colorectal specialist or pelvic floor surgeon, I'd advise it.
Do let us know what happens!

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 16/03/2013 01:52

I only said agonizing because some people would rather stick themselves in the eye with a rusty fork than talk to their GP about pooing. Which, given some GP's attitudes, is completely understandable!

OP posts:
lougle · 16/03/2013 07:38

Thank you Jacksmania, would that explain getting quite a lot if trapped wind, also?

Jacksmania · 16/03/2013 17:04

Yup, it would. I find that I can feel wind in my bum but can't push it out Blush - have to wait for it to build up enough pressure to come out by itself.

Sigh. I know I always say "no TMI on this thread" but occasionally I find myself going CRINGE!!!!!!! at stuff I post and how frank I force myself to be.

OP posts:
EauRouge · 16/03/2013 17:43

Jacks, you are helping so many people by talking about your bottom Grin There are other people reading this thread that aren't posting- this kind of information needs to be out there! There's this attitude that we just need to put up with things after childbirth, I wish I'd known sooner that it could all be rearranged and fixed. No one talks about this kind of thing and we really need to.

lougle I hope you manage to get things sorted.

lougle · 16/03/2013 18:37

Jacksmania, I've been reading this thread since it started, and it's taken me until now to post, so EauRouge is spot on.

Jacksmania · 17/03/2013 00:09

Ok :o
I will grit my teeth and continue to be frank about my broken bits :o

I'm glad you did post. Any more questions, bring 'em on and someone else can have a turn oversharing :o

I am unhappy today. My tummy hurts for no good reason I can think of, except I've been on a diet, and went out for dinner yesterday and may have indulged too much cheese fondue, anyone? and that doesn't seem like a good enough reason for a belly ache today Blush :o
And I think PMT has hit me over the head because I feel very flat and blue.
DH is out for the evening and I'm MNing while watching DS play a Star Wars Lego game on the Wii. Would like to have some wine but I think that would make the belly ache worse.
Meh.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 17/03/2013 00:11

Ok :o
I will grit my teeth and continue to be frank about my broken bits :o

I'm glad you did post. Any more questions, bring 'em on and someone else can have a turn oversharing :o

I am unhappy today. My tummy hurts for no good reason I can think of, except I've been on a diet, and went out for dinner yesterday and may have indulged too much cheese fondue, anyone? and that doesn't seem like a good enough reason for a belly ache today Blush :o
And I think PMT has hit me over the head because I feel very flat and blue.
DH is out for the evening and I'm MNing while watching DS play a Star Wars Lego game on the Wii. Would like to have some wine but I think that would make the belly ache worse.
Meh.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 17/03/2013 00:11
Hmm

That was not important enough to post twice.

Not sure what happened there.

OP posts:
cardamomginger · 17/03/2013 00:25

Hey Jacks. Sorry you're on a downer today and that Wine is off the agenda Sad. Have you tried a hot water bottle for your tummy? Blanket? Chick flick? Feel better XX

Jacksmania · 17/03/2013 00:46

Sat here with iPad and hot wheat bag. It's working-ish.

Still grumpy though.

You're up late. Or early, as the case may be :)

OP posts:
lougle · 17/03/2013 09:19

Poor you, Jacks. Tummy ache sounds so lame but it can be awful.

thing1andthing2 · 17/03/2013 17:00

Hello ladies,
It's been several months since I posted. I had a rectocele repair in early November.
I'm back here for a rant really as I know you'll understand!
I am just really gutted as the scar hasn't healed well and its still quite painful. I tried having sex twice and it is just so painful we had to stop. I saw my GP a month after the op and she referred me back to the gynae who couldn't see me till late Feb, so 3.5 months after the op. My surgeon wasn't even there, he has gone AWOL. After waiting 1.5 hours, I was seen by a reg who thought a stitch was still there and could maybe be removed. After a lot of poking (painful even with local anaesthetic) she couldn't locate the stitch and called the consultant in. He had a poke and I was climbing the walls - I just asked them to use lubricant to touch me as any touching on my vulva felt like red hot pokers. It took about three times of asking before they put the lube on the bastards. Fortunately my DH was there holding my hand. Then the consultant put silver nitrate on some granulation scar tissue, and said it would just sting a bit later on (when the local wore off). I was in agony every time I peed for 5 days the bastards. Now three weeks later I can still feel stinging pain down there every time I lift my baby or my toddler and I just feel so down about it ever healing and stopping being painful. I was supposed to have another follow up with my actual surgeon in 10 days but apparently it won't be him again as he's on some unexplained long term leave and it's been postponed again to April as well.
I don't know what to do really. I'm getting so down about it and my DH is being stalwart but I know he finds it really hard contemplating no sex life for many more months. Maybe I'll go back to my GP but I don't know what she can do for me. I just wish I'd never had the operation really.

cardamomginger · 17/03/2013 18:14

Hi things - am supervising DD's tea, so need to make it a short one, but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Will post more later, but one thing that occurred to me and that I wanted to post before I forgot is, have they swabbed yo for bacterial and fungal infection? The stitch explanation is a good possibility, but I've had this kind of pain after vaginal surgery and some kind of infection has usually been involved. Swabbing could be done by your GP, without having to go back to bastard consultant/reg.
Also - so so sorry. Lots of handholding.
Will post more later XXX

WhodveThought · 17/03/2013 22:06

Oh Things. I'm so sorry. I know the feeling of regret and defeat over this sort of stuff and it is heartbreaking. I hope you get some answers soon.

thing1andthing2 · 18/03/2013 08:28

Thanks ladies.
I need to have another attempt at sex with DH and find out if the pain is really caused by all my anxiety. If it isn't I'll go straight back to my gp. The follow up clinics with the gynae are awful, they always overrun massively, so I have to take my breastfed baby with me, and find childcare for my DD, and then you finally get to see someone and they are so rushed, you don't get to ask half the things you want and have your worries taken seriously. At least my gp sits and listens to me for as long as I need.
Thanks cardamom for the idea it could be an infection. I was worried I was developing vulvodynia but maybe if there is a little infection it could be treated.
I just need more sleep really and a bit less strain on my body, my 8 month old feeds every 2 hours all night and is super clingy at the moment.

cardamomginger · 19/03/2013 21:18

How are you feeling Jacks? Any better? XX

Jacksmania · 20/03/2013 17:32

I'm doing ok, thanks Flowers but poor DS is really struggling with seasonal allergies and is miserable (the alder pollen is really awful in our area right now) and so we're all a bit [meh].

Thing1 - poor you :(
Sounds like a nightmare :(
I have no advice to offer to what everyone else has said - thinking of you xx.

OP posts:
cardamomginger · 20/03/2013 22:05

Poor DS Sad. Bastard trees Angry. XX

Jacksmania · 20/03/2013 23:47

Yeah, it's all been a bit crap the last few days.

How've you been? Flowers

How's everybody else?

(((((((((HUGS))))))))) and Wine (especially the wine!) all around, I think.

OP posts:
CuppaTea83 · 22/03/2013 15:05

Hello, newbie here. Smile and Sad

I have 3 children (youngest is 3 years) and just recently (maybe a year, actually!) I have been getting random, very loud vaginal wind. Not during sex (never have sex these days Sad ) but randomly at any time.

I can't hold it in, like you would a normal fart Blush so it's embarrassing and I quickly exit a room because it can keep going on for a couple of minutes! Non-stop squelchy sounding wind!

Twice in the past couple of months I've had it when I first wake up, still lying in bed and then when I got up lots of liquid runs out of my vagina down my legs! Shock I initially thought it must be me weeing myself. But although I don't have the strongest bladder in the world I never just wet myself so I'm certain it's vaginal but it felt too liquid to be discharge.

Last night, sitting on the sofa I had a very noisy, gurgling tummy. Then I stood up and out came loads and loads of loud vaginal wind. Thank GOODNESS DH was in bed already. Blush

I'm so worried after reading online and seeing things about rectovaginal fistulas and the like. Do you ladies think this sounds likely?

Jacksmania · 22/03/2013 18:00

Hi Cuppa :)
I'll give you the usual greeting - we're sorry you had to find us, but we're glad you did. Welcome.
I have to admit my first thought was "uh-oh, I wonder if she has a fistula?"
I'm sure you know what you need to do next - the dreaded GP appointment and referral request. :(
Be prepared to be dismissed. Fistulae don't happen in developed countries... blah blah blah. Stand firm on requesting a referral to a gynae specialist.
I can't honestly think what else it could be... but I'd love to be wrong.
Good luck!

OP posts:
CuppaTea83 · 22/03/2013 18:22

Hello Jacksmania Smile

Do you know what will happen at my GP appointment? Will he do an internal examination or will I be referred to somebody else?

It's a shame there isn't much UK info online or by the NHS. It's mostly American sites. I did read that it's rare in developed countries. Hmm

My youngest DDs birth 3 years ago ended with a Doctor rather roughly rummaging around deep inside trying to pull out bits of ragged membranes. Is it strange to end up with this problem occurring so long after the birth?

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