Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

Hi Cuppa, i cant answer most of your questions but i would imagine the gp will have to do an internal examination to get a good idea of where the problem is. They will then probably (depending on what they find) refer you to the gynae department of your local hospital.

I may require some hand holding for the next few days, i am going on Tuesday to have my skin tag removed. I know its not much in the big scheme of things but it will be under a local anesthetic and i'm nervous about it. Cant wait for the bloody thing to be gone though, its so painful some days.

hi all hope everyones ok. Im feeling glum, been told I have vaginismus. It's been 34 months since dd was born and 31 months since my repair and yet I've never managed "proper" sex (ie lasting log enough for him to finish) and only withstanded him inside me briefly a handful of times. I'm having CBT and psychosexual therapy but I'm just so fed up. Having my mirena out on Wednesday as I long for a dc2 but I can't ever see it physically happening

Sounds like we're all having a crap week.

Coffee - I'm so sorry to hear that. Vaginismus is pretty horrible, I hear. No advice but here's some and and a hand to hold.

Hand to craving, too. You hold mine, I'll hold yours - I'm having that sebaceous cyst out on Weds.

CuppaTea - I'm not exactly sure what the UK procedure would be. I imagine your GP would want to do an exam - if I were a GP, I certainly would - before referring you, but I don't know. Good luck - and do update!

all around, I think. Or .

Thanks craving and jacks It's sort of comforting to know there are lot more people suffering with the same/similar issues.
Hope you're all okay.

I'll definitely have a

Hi All,
Staying with the PILS for 2 weeks and am grabbing a quick 5 minutes in FIL's office to hand hold and offer , and to all who need it.
Jacks - good luck for Wednesday. Will be thinking of you.
Coffee - that sucks so much . Have you seen a gynae physio? Could trigger point therapy help?
Craving good luck - will be thinking of you!
Cuppatea - hi. Yes, GP is a good first step. And, yes, be prepared to be insistent and press for a referral.
As for me, I still have a sodding infection - week 2 of the antibiotics still doesn't seem to have shifted it. Have emailed my surgeon and will wait to see what he says.
Bugger. My Father has just turned up. I now have NO Privacy! Need to disappear and stop writing about my vagina .
X

Bad day.

My toddler and I both had an accident at the same time today. I had to chose who to sort out first (chose her). So exhausting and upsetting.

And I just saw a comment in the prolapse thread about the surgery I need to have, and how it can wreck sex (further than all this already has) and even make bowel control worse.

Sob!

Hi Whod've. So sorry about the accidents. That's grim and awful . DD and I always managed to take turns.

Try not to panic about what was written on the other thread. I've read what was written and the figures given seem very very high, and unusually so. I've posted my thoughts there.
It's always a good idea to ask your surgeon tough questions about side effects and to find out not just the general overall statistics, but his/her rates of side effects and how your own presentation and symptoms will impact on the chances of side effects.

XX

Whodvethought ((((((((HUGS))))))))))

I've found that I've needed to step back from Dr. Google and lots of the "messed-up insides" threads and info because it's not good for my mental health. Everyone's different, and surgical outcomes differ from person to person. Statistics lie.
Don't let what was written on the thread (have not read it) freak you out.

Interesting article on vulvodynia. Worth a read.

Well as far as i can tell tag removal has gone ok. Thank you for te hand holding, definitely needed it. Was rather unpleasant being in almost identical position to when i gave birth, had a lot of tears throughout and memories coming back. But its all done now and hopefully will make a big difference to day to day life. In a bit of pain now anesthetic has worn off (and i'm too scared to look at the stitches) so just have to keep area clean, avoid infection etc etc. all going well should be back to normal in 2 weeks.

Jacks, good luck tomorrow

Hope everyone elses week is improving.

Oh, I've missed so many messages :( I'll try and catch up if I can talk DD2 into going to bed.

So glad it went OK for you, craving, it must have been so nerve-wracking having it done under local. You were brave and deserve a All the best for a very speedy recovery. I found the pain went after only a few days and that paracetomol worked just fine. I also put tea tree oil and lavender oil (a drop of each) on the maternity pads I was using, I don't know if that helped at all.

Yes yes yes to tea tree oil and lavender. Good idea. Both are antiseptic, will help heal things. I'm so glad it went ok, craving.

Hello all and well done those of you have bravely gone through ops since I last checked in. I hope you are recovering well.
I went to see the gp today and she suggested vaginal dilators and has prescribed me some local anaesthetic gel to use during sex and has also referred me back to the physio. She also suggested massaging any scar tissue with my thumb and some oil. I guess I am just going to have to face up to it and get on with it!
DH said not to spend money on dilators but buy a vibrator instead so we can actually have some fun further down the line! Bless him. I am considering the idea. Has anyone used dilators? How did you get on with them?
Other than that I am feeling more cheerful and it is nice to take back a bit of control over the situation.

I never used dilators. I think it's in the first or second thread but my lovely surgeon said not to bother, just buy a bunch of carrots and condoms :o
Seriously :o
It livened up the thread considerably :o

But I agree with her and your DH. Don't waste the money.

Had that cyst removed from my back yesterday. I'm so sore!!!!!!!!! I asked the plastic surgeon how big the incision would be and he said 4-5 cm . He showed me the excised piece - bleurgh - no wonder my back hurts. But he was super-fast and actually a very funny man.
I had wine yesterday to back up the paracetamol and I've had so little wine lately that I need more paracetamol this morning for my head .

How's everyone?

Jacks glad it went ok. I too have been having wine for medicinal purposes each evening since. cheers!

That's interesting about the dilators, it was suggested to me to use them but I wasn't too sure about it and thought I'd wait for a while. I have to say that I can just imagine the look on the check-out girls face when buying just a big bag of carrots and a box of 'ribbed for her pleasure' . This has really made me chuckle today.

I'm recovering ok, still quite sore and got tea tree oil today so have been putting a couple of drops on a pad each time I change it. Am worried about infection so will definitely be having a salt bath over the weekend. For now its ibuprofen and paracetamol and wine routinely.

Wow jacks 4-5cm is a lot! I had a mole removed on my back once and it was only 1-2 cm and I thought that was a lot.
Lots of sympathy craving re the stinginess, I well remember that a few months back
I might well go the carrot/vibrator route after your advice! How funny!

Ps still can't properly join you on the wine. Ds at 9 months still loves breast feeding as much as ever [big fat cheeks emoticon for a little bloater].

I know, it did feel like rather a lot to me, too. Ouch.

Is it terrible that I breasfed my little porker for ages but had wine anyway? not while feeding of course

We've gone very quiet, haven't we? How is everyone?

:)

Yum cake!
Well, I've seen a consultant, not my surgeon, who appears to be off on disciplinary issues .
He said everything was as healed as its going to be and to go with the massage/dilators recommended by the gp.
I got some wheat germ oil (good for scars) and had a rummage. I think the issue is some areas are pulled rounded tighter than others, causing slight ridges which are less stretchy than surrounding areas. The surgery has pulled a bulk together at the back to make a good bulk of muscle to prevent the prolapse and now some bits at the side are pulled too tightly round if you see what I mean. So nothing can be done there except stretching it out. So... I've got to do it daily for three months.
Good luck to me .
On the upside, DH and I actually had sex! Hurray for some progress!

We have all gone quiet, maybe that's a good sign that things are just plodding along ok?

thing1 that's great you are making progress.

I'm feeling so much better, its unbelievable just how much a tiny thing can affect your day to day life. Now the horrible painful skin tag has gone and the stitches have healed its a big change to how I feel mentally about myself. I knew it was affecting me but didn't realise just how much.

:o I'm going to resurrect the term "pervwatch" from the first or second thread when those of us who'd had our ops were venturing back into sexual territory - congratulations on your pervwatch experience, thing1.
Craving, I'm so glad you're feeling better :)

I had a shitty week last week, had several very unpleasant encounters with unpleasant people... fortunately it didn't spoil my birthday (this Tuesday just past) and the rest of the week was much better.
I'm heading to Vancouver Island for a MN mini-meet-up tomorrow. Just for the day, which will make it a long day (1.5 hour ferry ride both ways) but I'm really looking forward to it.

Ooh, pervwatch. Very good term, i have to add i've managed to venture back into the scary world that is sex. Not brilliant but so much better. I think so much of it for me is mental now. I still have all my painful scars but i guess its the mental change for me that has made things much more bearable, enjoyable would be too strong just yet but theres hope. Time, paitience and understanding is what it takes and thankfully my DH has that.

Not good that you have had a crapppy week Jacks but good you have something to look forward to. Belated Happy birthday from the Craving household.

Thank you! I did have a lovely weekend, feeling a bit shit today but that's just PMT kicking me... where the bleep is my period, not that I want it, I just want to feel better!