**Tamoxifen** the 30th thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am wheeling the trolley over....

I will sit on box for you loma while I drink my earl grey. You do learn to recognise paranoia and what might trigger it so become used to it.

And yes it's a good diet - I joke it was a good way to lose my baby weight (was do when dd2 was 2 weeks old). Onc doesn't seem to think that is funny.

Loma, hurrah re initials stuff. Shove across and I'll help sit on the paranoia box with you for a while to keep you company with the others.

I had a run-in with a rude charity director and told them to sod off (politely). Feel better for it. Well honestly the only reason I'm still here is the wonder of medical science and I'm da**ned if I'm taking any crip from some jumped up idiot any more. So there.

quite right amber
Am sitting on the box for you loma - and gratefully accepting the Earl Grey.

good for you amber, you tell 'em

Loma - am also sitting on the box for you (and I am a weighty customer so the lid will not open!) - I'll have an earl grey please, - I've also got a sudden craving for Battenburg, which is a bit odd at 11P.M.

I can't keep up with all this name dropping - I am desperately trying to think of anyone famous that I've met/seen. Ooh John Simm - he was nice and signed my theatre programme, Ian McKellen I've met (v. briefly) a couple of times also v.nice.
But I can't compete with Colin Firth -why didn't you rugby tackle him to the ground and pull all his clothes off ask him for an autograph Copt?

KK I was too embarrassed that it was Colin Firth's crotch goon dog had jumped up and thrust his head into this time (I haven't washed goon dog since obviously). He was very charming about it too which made it all the more mortifying. Of course if his shirt had been a bit damper I would have had it off in a moment

The paranoia box!! can you fit a few more things in?

Nipping in a bit drunk (ON A MONDAY!!) from a night out to say I once negotiated with Colin Firth over the last tin of Whiskas in the cat food section of Sainsburys. He was much more low rent then, as it was way before Mr Darcy days.

More importantly, phew and cautious hoorays for Loma. Sounds like they caught it all early. Clearly paranoia rules until the pathology after the op, but stick with us and we'll distract you through it.

Night all. Better go to bed.. I will be back for coffee in the morning...

Drunk on a Monday smee . for you- and for me as another early start with mini gig.
While I am about it (ESP ned as I know ds not a lot older), did anyone else go through a surly challenging phase with their kids when were about 4.5/ starting school? Big gig seems to either get annoyed/answer back , fake cry when doesn't get her way and is regressing on eating, getting dressed etc. I think some of it is due to tiredness from school (so worse at evenings) but can do it on weekends.

And yes we seem to have solved Xmas issue (for now)- there was some martyr type moaning from mil but the idea of dh doing 4-8 hours driving (depending on if had to do both journeys) to collect her on Xmas day (she doesn't want to stay though could) does seem to have filtered through. Let's see if filtered through to dopey childless bil whose suggestion it was (apparently its our turn to do Xmas and fact we have small kids/I have been ill escapes him ).

Which reminds me- need to do stuff today and not get sucked into Aibu etc .

And love to kurri for your mammo today .

argh gig - Christmas ! My MIL is being entertained at BIL's so will see her afterwards- this year my brother and family are coming to us/parents which is much easier as brother and dh will cook between them at olds' house.

love to kk xxxxx

Just rushing in with a squishy hug for kurri today for mammo - thinking of you, lovely lady. Will you get results today, or have to wait?

gig DS did get ridiculously tired when he first started school (though end of August birthday so very young) and I was a mean working mummy who made him do full days straight away, so it could be tiredness. I think often they are trying so hard to do things right in school, sitting still, not missing anything, listening etc that sometimes they need to decompress at home. I've certainly seen that with kids I've taught, where they are angels in school but parents saying they're nightmares at home. Hoping it's just a phase with minigig x x

amber quite right too telling that rude person to bugger off. They don't deserve to have you helping them x x

My claim to fame is my great-aunt - reasonably well known British actress: think Tenko, Open all Hours, Waiting for God, Doc Martin, Coronation Street. . . I've met her several times and she's lovely

Must get dressed - got mad day today. Still bloody itching do got to go back to docs tomorrow. Had a reaction last night to the cream doc gave me - was slathering it on, as directed, but it started burning my skin and really stinging, so had to leap in shower and wash it all off again.

Kettle's on, so all round?

oh my ned -very impressed - I love her !!

Morning [whispered so as to not wake smee]

gigs I definitely remember going to pick up No 1 DD from school with carbohydrate to try and pacify the savage beast, and then taking her to the Park to run it off. She was a late June baby so young for the year. Mornings were complicated by me still breastfeeding No 2 DD who was less than a year old, I have no idea how I got us up and dressed and to school.

MIL totally unreasonable (that can double as your AIBU for the day) Christmas such a minefield for my MIL in terms of the possibility she might have to spend money and however briefly stop having a mouth like a cat's bottom that she goes into hiding and refuses to come out so we have actually never had Christmas with her The sad thing is she keeps darling sweet FIL in with her who would love to have a Christmas with his grandchildren. Glad to be flying away from the Christmas dilemmas this year.

BUT I gather Rob Brydon is switching on the green's weedy tree so Twickenham's celeb cred is reprieved and we have the choice between a celeb switching on the weedy tree or a weed switching on the slightly less weedycivic tree. Though presumably seeing one of the Dad's from nursery switch on the weedy tree is not going to impress the giglets.....

KK xxoo for the squishing

Ned I love her too, a national treasure.

Have had lots of coffee, so am bouncing off the walls.

Hugs to Kurri. Hope mammo's not too ouch today.

Gig, DS was awful when he started school. I think he found it all so tiring and had to be good at school, so took it out on us. Seem to remember lots of other parents finding similar, so it's annoyingly normal. Well done on taming MIL. That's a result, though your BIL sounds a bit like he needs a kick.

Ooh Ned, how fantastic to have a relative like that. Most impressive. That cream reaction sounds mighty annoying. Hope they give you something which works today.

MAS, is the aveeno working??

We're having Christmas here, my parents are coming down for a few days. I do all the cooking, but DH v.good at keeping my glass topped up.

Aveeno seems pretty good -skin still dry and tight feeling but am sure it's not worse.
Am taking dad to have his skin thing done tomorrow - up early to be there in good time- we've promised ourselves a Costa treat for afterwards.

Thanks for all school horror anecdotes - big gig a June baby (must be same sort of gap between your dds copthall). Makes me feel better - it's parents evening tonight so that will be telling if it is a case of all her efforts going into school.

Rob Brydon - the gigs won't be impressed (it will be that is xxxx dad ). But will take them provided its not tipping down . Dh got out my tasteful selection of light up villages (I stop short of blow up Santa on the roof but I too have a lot of Xmas tat) and mini gig loved it. May post photos of the full tastelessness when I can be bothered.

My tat won't be coming out until DD1s return but the requirement for tasteless decorations have actually increased as they have got older so that some tasteful lights on the tree, were increased to three trees, then strung gingerbread house like across the porch, and then last year a raindeer appeared. There's a seal in the garden centre with DD1s name on it apparently......... And all lowering the tone of my carefully designed garden with all year round interest. If anyone from the RHS saw it I would be expelled.

Funny thing is that it has spread up the road, and then the next road got better than us so that speeded up the process. However everyone trounced last year by the family who had filled the porch windowsills with fake snow with a whole mini village scene in it. That wasn't you was it gigs?

Anything is better than this endless grim rain, hope it isn't depressing for people already battling with other downers.

MAS, good that it's not worse, but not so good that it's not better. Did you send your drawings off to your publisher? Must feel quite a moment when you do that.

DS went to Tate Modern today and they were going to walk over the bendy bridge (as we call it!). Hope they didn't get blown off into the Thames..

how lovely for ds - the Tate shops are fab -my favourite bit usually ! Hope ds not blown away.
My editor is coming over on Friday and we'll have coffee at waitrose cafe while she looks at the drawings - meanwhile am doing roughs for 2 new pictures -one is for one of the bcns (from the breast team) -the other for my neighbour who is giving it as a Christmas present- I get to draw lovely seaside scenery.

London was wet and windy today but such bliss to be back at work for the first time in a week with a semblance of normality. Though i hated having to cancel all my meetings from op day onwards. Also had annoying conversation with'my cousin the doctor'' who said it was tosh that my surgeon said he couldnt do nipple reconstruction at same time as op as the site needs to settle down for up to a year. Now he's seeded doubt in my mind I'm back to worrying about how odd I'm going to look ( even though hubby swears he won't care - I care!). Who do I believe? I don't want to question his judgement and anyway, it'd be daft as the only option would be starting from scratch with a new specialist.

Gigs - o yes my DD was very testing when she started school. It was a tircky time as I gave birth to DS literally on the day she started school so it really was like the new baby pushing the older one out of place - tough for her, and also her reception teacher didn't understand her at all. O Poor DD didn't like school much and then I was busy with new baby - all very had and she pushed at every normal boundary for a few months.

I'm very envious of all your celeb sightings and can't compete....did see Terry Waite here once on a festive day as he watched the parade - but can't compete with Colin!!

loma people do try to tick their oar in and unsettle one. I would trust your surgeon - try not to fret

Hi all - just got back after a rather busy day and evening. Mammo went OK - not too squishy (thanks for all the non-squishy vibes ) and they saw me early so I had time for a cappuccino afterwards. I won't get the results for a couple of weeks, - and not even sure if I'll get them sent then - my onc. said if I didn't hear from him, just assume it's OK (which I think is actually a bit crap when someone's had cancer - you need concrete info.) - anyway I plan to phone his secretary if I don't hear!

Ned - I love that lovely lady to whom you are related - what fun to have someone famous in your family.She is very talented, - Tenko was one of my favourite series ever, loved it.

Loma - do you have a breast care nurse? - if so I would talk to her about the reconstruction dilemma, - I know it's difficult when someone says something which contradicts the info you've been given, - it does tend to happen quite a lot I've found, - but it's important that you have a good trusting and open relationship with your consultants, so get them to explain it all in more detail if you are uncertain about anything. (BCN's can be very good go-betweens and help you get your worries across to the surgeons IME)

Hope Smee junior enjoyed his day at Tate Modern and didn't blow away!

Tacky Christmas decorations - I have an enormous red pottery santa boot - I got it in the Range, it is about 12 inches high and very bright. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it (DH just rolled his eyes in a long suffering way)

love to all. xx

ned - can you PM me your address, and I will send Howard's Way on to you - it is brilliant, I swear in one episode, Lynn had shoulder pads so wide she'd have had to go through doors sideways.

Loma The only people I have met who did not have to wait for a nipple to be reconstructed had a nipple conserving mastectomy, otherwise they wait for everything to settle down so that it can be put in the right place. That is certainly the deal I am being offered by the Royal Marsden team. However I wouldn't hesitate to ask your surgeon or BCN, they are used to being asked all sorts, I wouldn't worry about professional sensitivities, I am sure they think your body and emotions are the priority. If Dr Cousin knows of lots of people out there who do immediate nipple reconstruction then perhaps you could email them for a second opinion, I certainly got a couple of opinions on my proposed chemo that way. However I would agree with MAS Dr Cousin / friend of a friend / once knew someone with BC often have a great deal of advice to offer without actually knowing the salient facts about your Breast Cancer, almost as bad as Dr Google.