**Tamoxifen** the 30th thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am wheeling the trolley over....

oh I do love Henri !
Am probably heading out after lunch,might wait until the return of T from school, but will go...was feeling a bit lazy -did a bit of drawing anyway.
Love to all

loma thinking of you today.

smee just been to physio - lots of stretching and prodding but verdict is that rads damage is round hip. Other issues needs stretching and strengthening. Will be painful physio apparently which sounds nice (I did point out its all relative given the last year). It's annoying and frustrating as my leg bending is hindered rather than proper pain like back so it could be worse. First appt not for a couple of weeks tho .

copthall am glad you can provide distraction . Have you seen the weedy looking tree on the green yet ? Apparently they are havjng an Xmas fair there.

amber for you- saw fb comment and agree that some people should mind their own.

Tomorrow I will be at home so may bake something for the trolley.

otm are you lurking? How are you love?

Thanks for all the mentions and words of support. It means a lot to me that people are taking the trouble in real, let alone virtual, life to support me. and as for my name spelling: I'll take any guise that takes your fancy, bearing in mind it's a tricksy transliteration of a phrase in a language-that-only-a-few-people-in-the-world know (said she mysteriously), so anything goes .

Anyway, I logged on to update. I saw the specialist today, following the MRI on Friday. The MRI was completely clear, other than what looked to be benign glandular tissue behind the aerola complex. This was then looked at in ultrasound and it was confirmed to be benign.

So it seems I have Paget's of the skin only. I will be having the nipple and areola area removed in day surgery in a couple of weeks' time. As you would expect, this will then go for testing, the results of which will be given to me a fortnight later. The doctor seemed to be as confident as can be that he didn't think anything would be found, but I have every expectation to wake up in the night in a sweat (nothing new these past few days), convinced otherwise.

Bearing in mind what some of the contributors to this list are/have been going through I can only sigh in relief, knowing it could have been a much more challenging outcome. I'm still saddened that my not-particularly-perfect-body to start with will be further altered, but I suppose I'll get used to it in time.

didn't like anything particularly in the White Stuff - it justy looked dull and I am feeling chubby anyway (I look at my stomach in the mirror and felt quite appalled_ ) but i did get a nice scarf and a long dangly necklace and a present for my SIL's bday. Also,to counteract revolting hands,have bought sparkly red nail varnish to wear when i go to Christmassy things.
How is everyone today ? Amber needs some cake I feel (choc cake on trolley) and a hug.
Hope physio won't be too horrid gig

loma well done for today and hooray for relatively good news - still,it's not fun having surgery and then waiting again for results- please help yourself to some cake.

Lomaamina that's great news on the clear MRI and ultrasound .
That must be such a relief for you !
Although (even though I had an entire tit chopped off) my toes curled up at the thought of nipple removal
(Sorry for the grin , but in this whole Cancer process you will find the most bizarre things funny !)

Mas what sparkly red nail varnish did you buy ? I luffs nail varnish .
Although with all the lard I am rubbing into my body at the mo , my nails are splitting and breaking like crazy

Tried the new dress on today .
It's shorter than I thought it would be .
But DD says I should wear it when we go out on our big family Christmas lunch (FIL takes us all , about 25 of us , to a posh hotel)
Bless her heart she has even accessorised me for it !

Sausage and chickpea casserole for dinner tonight .
Anyone fancy a bit ???

What's happened with Amber ?
Do we need to gang up on someone for her ???

gigs Aww the "TWICKENHAM CHRISTMAS GUIDE 2012" promises " a large tree outside Arthurs". Also very excitingly the Church Street lights are to be switched on by Local Businessman Terry Barnett ?? don't get out there everyone, (apologies if this is your DH) then as if to rub it in they print a list of all the celebs who live locally!! (I am sure that will not be to their liking, judging by the evil looks Nick Frost always gives me if I dare to even inadvertently look in his direction, they print a picture of him, so people will actually know who he is, serves him right!) At least in Esher they get Anthea Turner..

Last time I had physio on my hip she dug her elbow into the sore point and leaned on it with all her weight saying tell me when it stops hurting, this so she could move on to the next sore point but it did work

hello all - sorry I've been awol for a few days - trying to organise an art activities week for kids, and its taking a lot of time preparing stuff.

Welcome Loma - so sorry you are going through this horrid business, and we all know how hard it is waiting for appointments and results. But it sounds as if the news you had today was relatively good, and IME doctors don't usually say they are confident unless they really are.
Loads of luck with your surgery, it's good they can do it as day surgery, - never nice to have to stay in hospital. It's perfectly normal to feel sad about a change in your body, and it does take time to adjust, so be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the time it get your head round it. There is such a barrage of emotions when you get this kind of DX, - so you are bound to have a few ups and downs. And don't compare yourself to anyone else - its your experience, your body and your feelings about the whole thing are just as valid and important as anyone else's.

Stick around for hand holding and cake while you wait

Love to all - I am reading through all your posts and catching up. Hope Mr Turning is recovering well.

My poor little dog has had 3 seizures int he last week, and last night she was terribly wobbly on her feet and didn't seem to be breathing too well - but today she has perked up a bit, eaten well and been less tired.

I've got a mammogram tomorrow at 11 a.m

Loma good news, not nice getting chopped about but hopefully once you get that out of the way, you can move on. They can do things to give you a new nipple if it really bothers you, tattoos etc. I am sure they will advise you.

Will pop back later but yay for loma - that sounds positive even though will still involve being chopped about.

And but my dh is not called terry (was toying with taking the gigs down to see lights switch on but may not bother).

I must check out the local celeb- rob Brydon had kids at nursery and was very normal. I always felt sorry for him when he got the third degree as he was there to pick up his kid etc.

KK good luck with the mammogram.

Sending your poor little dog some perkiness from overperky goon dog who just chased the cat across the dining room table and sent all my books flying......

And lots of love and luck for kurri

gigs I haven't seen Rob Brydon but Jane Horrocks had her children at St Mary's and was totally relaxed. I have also seen Keeley Hawes and Malcolm McFaddyn about without any airs and graces, though it was Petersham Nurseries, which possibly is an air and grace in itself. Apparently also Milton Jones, Peter Davison, Amanda Holden and Amanda Lamb (whoever she is ) The thing is after you have been in JD Sports getting you DC fitted out sat next to MICK JAGGER getting his son some trainers, it all becomes very everyday daaarling.....

it's a Rimmel precious stones thing- have painted it on one nail and it's v shimmery and festive !
copthall and gig I used to trek into Twick often when T was little as my friend Tim worked at Langton's in church st. Over in Brentford,my former home we had Rat Scabies round the corner and of course Anna Ford. And Neil Kinnock once smiled at me (he was going to a football match at B/ford I think)
I worked in Waterstone's in Richmond in the mid/late 80s and encountered many a celeb - (resists urge to reel them off)

Hi all

Sorry I haven't been about to offer support, rather a hectic few days, added to by the fact DD announced she had invited a friend over on Saturday for the day, before asking me by the way. So Saturday was spent shopping, car had MOT, I entertained DD and friend making perfume boy it was vile from a kit and then helped make dream catchers whilst trying to set the table and get ready for friends for dinner on Saturday night. Yesterday was therefore spent lying in a heap recovering.

kurri very best of luck tomorrow. I'm sure it will be fine. Hugs to little old lady dog.

loma welcome and glad your appointment went well. Those sound like good results to me. Have you a date for your op yet?

Hope your hands are ok mas.

MAS sadly Langtons is no more, only recently succumbed to a common fate for small businesses around here hangs head in shame and tries to hide kindle

Yup Mick Jagger encounter was in Richmond High Street and there is always a high celeb count there but he is the only one that actually made me come over all starstruck, I think because he is such an icon of the 60s and also because in real life he doesn't look quite human, absolutely tiny, especially those hips and a wizened face, big hair and quite a large head, and he talks like , well Mick Jagger, even when getting trainers ...more like a rock elf! I much prefer to see him on stage in a stadium

hands okish gracie xxx
kk loads of love to dear old lady dog - it must be very distressing for you.And will be thinking of you tomorrow at mammo. xxxx

oh that's sad- several of my ex Waterstone's pals worked there.
We had Jerry Hall in once, Nick Lowe,michael Fish (he was cross when we asked his name when he ordered a book), Kate Adie, Lady Annabel Goldsmith -um...Keith Floyd (for a book signing) (I had to show him to the loos) - Miss Bea from House of Elliott... errr..

Yes langtons had a lovely cafe. Was sad but inevitable.

Matthew what'sit and kh were our neighbours for a while. She didn't like us much (started by some builders we had in that made comments about her in street - not ideal but we did apologise and told builders off ). Went on from there to point it was passive aggressive notes through door about putting our hall light on. I was not sorry when they moved . But that is as nothing to mick jagger in jd sports (I once saw Joan Collins when I was in a drs waiting room).

Well I used to stalk see Duran Duran all the time on the Kings Road ...

Super Stars are very thin on the ground now I'm living in NI though

Good luck for tomorrow kk .
And pig/dog sends his very favouritest bouncy ball to old lady dog

MAS Oooh that does remind me there was Hugh Grant and Jemima Goldsmith in a restaurant in Barnes once, when it would have been gossip, but I have no idea how you would disseminate gossip, and actually I didn't see them. Friends said Hugh Grant and Jemima Goldsmith just walked in but I couldn't turn around without being uncool, planned on having a good look as they left but went to the loo and.....

AND deep breath, don't know why I forgot to add this one probably because I shouldn't get too excited at my age COLIN FIRTH running in Richmond Park. Goon dog was adolescent and at stage of thinking all runners were his friends so it was a bit embarrassing of course he is now trained to fell Colin Firth on sight

gigs at kh, now added to my list of the up themselves and ungracious with Nick Frost.

Thanks everyone for the cake, which is gratefully received, even though I'm trying to build on the 3 kilos lost in the past fortnight. Ah, just realised, it's virtual cake!

n.b. There's a grim humour in losing weight due to nerves following dx isn't there?

Tell me, am I mad to now start worrying that maybe they made a mistake with the pathology and there's nothing there? Spose not, given that said nip and aerola are misshapen, but paranoia reins.

Op's in just over two weeks.

If it's not too presumptuous with you all being old friends, can I send some cake back round to everyone? Earl Grey always goes well, or a nice cup of coffee. Both are available in my tea-rooms (dream career if current one ever fails).

Earl Grey for me please Loma
And we have a nice box (which we all take turns sitting on) for keeping paranoia in !

The paranoia never really goes away I'm afraid .
That's what great about this board , no one will ever tell you that you are mad to have these feelings .
We all have them , and no matter how weird some of them are , they are all very valid worries

Colin Firth ???