**Tamoxifen** the 30th thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am wheeling the trolley over....

Morning all

Glad op went well frank. Take it easy at the shops.

Bah re; sore hands mas don't suffer too long before getting in touch with bcn.

Well done on weight loss kurri. I have joined Tesco Diets this morning as I really need to shift 4 stone a little weight.

I noticed the flu injection was mentioned. DH and I were booked for one but missed appointment as I was delayed at rads. Spoke to onc and he laughed and said what were we having it for. Really not sure what to do now. Neither of us have any other underlying health conditions. Any advice??

Waves to gigs, topsy (sorry about missing your call last week, did you get my texts?), smee, sparkle and anyone else lurking. No word from otm recently or have I missed her?

KK You obviously are braver than me, with the Fat Person Nurse, and since I still on balance have decided not to have reconstruction. It is a bit of a niggle though, and quite a big niggle when shopping, on the beach etc. We don't really do beach holidays though and my breasts were always very small and undramatic (made up for it in the end though it's always the quiet ones you have to watch..) so not really vital to my sense of self. I'll be interested to follow your experience though. A couple of friends had the relocation of the stomach to the chest one, a tummy tuck that gives you a boob as well has some appeal! Beware though, an American friend in China who had to have a double mastectomy and removal of ovaries because some mad American doctor had treated her with radiation as a child (for something very benign, like freckles?) enjoyed her reconstruction so much she went on and had a facelift, she did look great as well!!

Hello Gracie
I haven't had any texts from you ?
We need to meet up for cake coffee though !

I am thinking about reconstruction too .
And now I am considered to be no longer at deaths door ( ) my surgeon would have no reason to turn me down again
Well apart from the massive tiny amount of weight I need to lose ...

Copthall - I'm having the 'make a boob out of your belly overhang' one - I'm hoping very much for the tummy tuck effect It's taken me four years to come round to deciding I want one, and I've been going to a support group we have here, so have talked to lots of people who have had recons. - seen the results etc. I do feel it's a big decision though, and I'm a bit nervous about it.

Gracie - I would have the flu jab - I was told herceptin lowers your immune system by my GP (even though the hospital will insist it doesn't) and you've not that long finished chemo - so you will still be recovering. I honestly don't think your immune system ever really recovers properly (well I don't think mine has) - I always seem to take much longer to throw off colds and other bugs.

Smee - hope you are not too snowed under with work today.

I've also missed OTM - if you are lurking OTM, hope you are not feeling too rough, drop in and say hello if you feel up to it, - don't worry about catching up - the thread moves far to fast to worry about that.

Sorry I've been a bit absent. Got work project in, waiting for them to come back with revisions. Aarrrgh... Holding plate out for some of Copthall's truffle cake. Hope I'm not too late..

Glad to see Frank's got through her op. How's the arm feeling today, Frank?? Hope the DD's aren't too freaked by it all.

Sparkle, what's the job? Are we allowed to know?? Hope it's something you really want to do. How are your gorgeous DC?

MAS, have you called BCN? I think you should you know. If you're complaining it must be bad and it's stopping you from working too.

Gracie and Ned, how are the itches? Hope your poor skin's recovering.

Topsy, how's the lardy cream going? Is it helping??

We always have two advent calendars. One's a Christmas tree with teeny drawers, so we put chocs in - it turns into a pic of a snowman or something. Other's a lovely Eric Carle one. It's a fold out tree and every day there's something new to hang on it. DS and the cat love it.

Kurri, sorry thyroid's being a nuisance, but yay for you on losing all that weight. Hugely impressive. Do you have a date for reconstruction yet, or do you have to hit target weight before they get the diary out? I have to have yet another op next year too - my comedy implants still don't match and the newer one has pretty uncomfortable capsular contraction. Surgeon says she'll swap it for a smaller one, revise the scar and also put some fat over my horribly sticky out bones. Not sure where she'll take the fat from though.

Waving to all I've missed, hope everyone's okay. Sometimes, did you manage all your deadlines??

Good you got the project in Smee, - you definitely deserve a bit of cake

I get put on the waiting list once the weight has gone (I've got until the beginning of Feb. if I haven't lost enough, I'll get booted out altogether and have to go back to the beginning and get another referral, - so I don't want that to happen)
I hope they get yours sorted out - a friend of mine has had a similar problem with capsular contraction, and is having hers redone (she's had a double mastectomy too) although like me she's got to lose a bit of weight.

Fortunately I don't have the problem of where will they find enough fat - they are spoilt for choice in my case

Blimey Kurri, how are you going to cope at Christmas if you're on a diet??

I'm still a bit conflicted about my implants. There's a bit of me tempted just to ask surgeon to take them out and go completely flat chested. I like having shape, but they're far from comfortable. DH reckons I should let them try and get them to match first, as they won't re-do them if I change my mind. He's probably right and either way it's another op. I have until mid December to decide..

I know - it's going to be hard, - we have a lot of family birthday (including mine) with associated cake, as well in December. I have decided on allowing myself one little treat a day - which I'll save up for the evening - a chocolate or a drink, - so I don't feel as if I'm totally missing out. And I'll have Christmas dinner (I do a big chestnut wellington thing which is yummy, but puff pastry unfortunately) - but I'll go easy on the roast potatoes and fill up with veg instead.

It is a hard decision - I know how you feel, a big part of me thinks 'no more surgery, unless absolutely necessary' but I've sort of come round to wanting the recon, in the last year, and I guess actually having to lose weight is quite good at focusing the mind on whether I really want it or not.

How would you feel about going the route of no implants and using prostheses? - is that a possible option? - The decisions never seem to stop in this cancer lark do they - and all of them seem to involve hospitals, surgery etc etc.

A treat a day sounds like a sensible way to go. Losing half a stone in a month must have given you a boost. I think it's tricky to be lopsided (as you must be). There's a lot to be said for symmetry.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all. The implant decision was taken such a long time ago at diagnosis and made sense at the time, as it was less drastic/ less of a shock for my DS too. Once you start on that road though, you end up with more and more ops, then I added to it by elective mastectomy last year. I think I'd be fine with prostheses, but I like having some shape too iyswim. Also scared myself a bit by reading about silicone and long term health problems. I think that's what will swing it for me decision wise. DH and I are researching it all separately to see what we can come up with. We've been laughing about having a breast summit to discuss our findings. There will of course be wine..!

I like the sound of a breast summit meeting ! I'd be anxious about making decisions for further ops - am sorry that these things are hanging over you smee and do hope that the incredible shrinking kkcan go ahead with her recon.
I can hold my pen and work, so I guess it's ok- I 'll see- and of course will tell onc. next week - I am not good at deciding whether things are bad enough or not.

Love to all- feel as though am ignoring everyone by grizzling about hands.
Hope flu jab is not bruisy or sore gig

KK Smee My consultations with the surgeon have actually left me wondering whether it wouldn't be easier to get rid of the good boob and go for symmetry. He always puts the emphasis on how problematic the poor wee thing is in terms of matching up to the glorious boobs he creates. Small, droopy and hanging out under my armpit it would be very hard to match up to apparently. Am I sure I wouldn't like him to even it up to what he could give me? Go for bigger and more shapely? I always feel like I am on a different planet to him, a planet where we imperfect ones roam around with our fatty bits, and jowls and folds of skin but somehow, against all the odds, manage to get up in the morning, go out in public and grab what happiness we can. He also once sent me an email from some very glamorous looking women posed nude with nothing on but pink feather boas and positivity asking for money. It may actually be as much my discomfort with his culture as that I am an out and out coward? But mostly the coward bit I admit.

Anyway I admire you both for facing up to it and the weight loss. The truffle cake is here but I am hiding under the stairs from the Big Fat Person Nurse

I must be in complete denial because I imagine the Fat Person Nurse as being the fat one , not me ...

at Topsy, though at your Surgeon, Copthall. You're not a coward, he sounds an arse.. Am v.lucky as mine's utterly lovely, and a woman took so am sure that helps. I went for the second mastectomy mostly due to prevention, but also because it was so mismatched with my new perky post cancer implant. The fact that now the new perky implant doesn't match the older perky implant is a mite irksome but in the great scheme of things really not a huge deal. I am mostly amused by it all.

copthall surgeon does sound a git..
Aunt who had mastectomy hasn't bothered with recon and will show anyone her prosthesis at the drop of a hat (and regale them with talk of illness and operations)

Mas I like your Aunt. I did get my prosthesis out in M&S cafe once. Some obnoxious old bag nipped into the last seat at the last table after I had put our tray down to help my 6 year old sit down. I looked askance at her and she said "Well I've got Cancer of the Heart" Is there such a thing? Probably, but equally probably she didn't have it. I had the terrorist scarf turban on and pointed out I was in the middle of chemo, she sneered and before I knew it I had whipped it out. She sneered again and said "At least it's curable" (6 year old btw not traumatised, loved my prosthesis, it looked great with the wig as part of her Princess outfit)

Otherwise only ever at drunken girly evenings.

I must say I assumed all Plastic Surgeons would be patronising, or slimy, prats, a woman would be good. My oncy was a woman and she was great, very sympathetic and supportive, although I would quite liked to have really hated her!! I do like my Breast Surgeon too because he is very direct and factual, so you know exactly where you stand.

I do also get an irresistible urge to whip it out at airport security as well. Especially last time when she went a little to high up my trouser legs and even stuck her thumbs fingers down the inside of my belt into the inside of my trousers, squishing the spare tyre. It's like the elephant in the room, they must notice?

at woman in M&S Copthall - well done for whipping your prosthesis out - she probably though it was part of the new Per Una range

My plastic surgeon is a woman, - she is uber glamorous (did you see that Horizon programme a while ago on skin aging? - the presenter of that was my PS, - she is very beautiful, but also very nice so not intimidating).

My onc is a very jolly Romanian chap - always cracking jokes, but a nice guy.

My surgeon is a total cock, - he really has the worst bedside manner in the history of bedside manners, awful man. But he lopped my boob off for me, so I do have to give him some credit for that (although he missed the fact that it was also in my lymph nodes so I had to have a second op )

I am always misplacing my boob when I take it off at night - the cry of 'I've lost my fake tit' is a common one in our house

I've just wasted an hour cooking a meal, forgetting that there was loads of last nights meal left to finish up.

at that woman, Copthall.

Kurri, that would be me, I know. Do you have a spare for emergencies?

All my consultants are female. All lovely, so have been v.lucky with that, though my Onc is clearly barking and looks like she has a bottle of chardonnay for breakfast. My surgeon's doesn't do chit chat, but she's very kind and smiley. She makes DH and I smile, as she's conveniently nipple height.

blimey copthall well done you !
One woman in the lavs at our hospital was so thrilled by her recon by our surgeon that she showed me it. He is an oncoplastic surgeon and I must say my scar is very neat and he is lovely,as is his registrar. Onc is v nice too,also male, and registrar onc is female and lovely- so am extremely lucky.
Oh dear,ttime to iron then a bit more drawing...

I would be sure to misplace a prostheis as am always going around the house wondering where my glasses are

I have a sort of bean bag boob which I use for swimming - and that does in an emergency (although its a bit less shapely that the proper one)

MAS - are you having problems with nausea? - I've just been going through my first aid box and found these which I used when I was on chemo - one of the nurses recommended them for nausea - I'm not sure whether they worked or not, but anything's worth a try. If you want them I'll pop them in the post

The only time I have flown since my surgery , I had a discrete word with the lady security officer . I told her I had a prosthesis , and she was very discrete .
She still gave me a good going over , but at least she didn't pull Bobby the Booby out , wave it around , and shriek "what's this ?"
Didn't stop the buggers chemically testing all my make up either ...

Had a whole heap of excitement this afternoon .
One of the horses in the field opposite my house tried to jump a fence . She got herself tangled and managed to land upside down on her back , firmly wedged between 2 fences !

I had a friend round at the time who was brought up on a ranch in Canada and is very horse savvy .
We went charging out , shouted to the stables for help . One of the girls came running up and between us we managed to open the gate the horse was wedged behind . But by this point the horse had completely frozen (upside down on the floor !)
So my lovely Canadian friend (who btw has a brain tumour !!!) grabbed the bridle out of the stable girls hand , wrapped it round the horses front legs , and hauled it over back onto its feet !!!

Horse was fine after all this . Me and my friend (who I am even more impressed with) were left looking at each other , thinking "did that just happen ?"

Beat that for an exciting day !

How kind KK but think nausea is ok with my domperidone -
How dramatic about horse and how clever of your friend Topsy !!

I am slightly jealous of your prosthetic stories- a big old scarred bum isn't the same (and not so easy to whip out in m and s copthall although I have done the chemo scarf bit to get a seat on the tube).

Am impressed by your cowgirl antics topsy. kurri how annoying about dinner.

at smee for finishing project and the boob summit.

My surgeon was nice but bit blasé (and as it turned out falsely reassuring about risk on cancer ) . Oncologist less easy in manner but as time has gone on , I like her more and really trust her as she is so careful and caring. A lot of nurses really liked her which says quite a lot as were quite dismissive of some of other drs with less bedside manner.

Hi to all - back to my programme about Aussie wine industry which is making me thirsty.

Wow topsy bet you are glad your friend was there. Sorry about the texts or lack of. My phone is playing up saying messages sent then showing they haven't. Think I need to upgrade. Coffee andcake sounds great, let me know when suits.