**24TH** TAMOXIFEN thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go...

Found you! Hello! I'm sitting here with a coffee catching up with the thread. morning all!

Ned I'm glad the chemo is going well. I have heard of others who haven't suffered many ill effects. Good to know!

smee How are your folks?

Amber sorry work is such a pain in the bum. All this stress with them must seem so unnecessary to you right now ((hugs))

gig How are you today? x

snoopy good luck with hospital over the next few day :)

Have an of you heard of a Japanese study with really ripe (black ) bananas. Apparently they are good at shirkinage of tumours. I'll put no stock in it but it can't hurt to try!

globalsuccess4life.blogspot.co.uk/2009/09/tnf-and-bananas-japanese-study.html

So everyone has a lot going on - treatment, or work stress, or problems with tradesmen in the house or whatever. That's what I see from an admittedly rapid scan back through the bits I've missed.

And the other thing I see is that everyone is so brave, and doing the best they can, every day, for themselves and everyone else, and it all sounds really heroic. I think you should all be bloody proud of yourselves (as i am proud of myself ). Honestly, even if you feel you are struggling, you all sound absolutely indomitable.

I have had a LOT of drugs, which may explain the emotion here, but really, you are all being amazing. Hang on in there. x

Smee - sorry about your parents. Hope you have found them now.

The doctors and physios have signed me off, really, apart from a check up in 6 weeks. I am going to get the mahoosive dressing reduced at the GP's today, and am on painkillers for a month (thank God, because it's pretty ouchy, especially when you have walked to the school and back which may have been a mistake). The weird way of walking that had dd and dh peeing themselves seems to have gone today and it all seems a bit more normal now. Surgeon says I can do whatever I like after the first fortnight as it is all bolted together so tight I can't harm it. And here's the best bit - I can stand up straight for the first time in about 3 years

Sorry to butt in, ladies - have been sorely missing my Words pal Topsy, and worrying about her, so came to track her down! Topsy, if you're lurking, here are some 'down with bacteria' vibes and a huge 'get better soon' from me. Don't let them let you out till you are well enough to cope without overdoing things, y'hear?!

And while I'm here....MAS, lovely lady of the brave (and wonderfully creative) blog, I just wanted to add that you have reminded me of when I moved on from a year's treatment for hepatitis (and a year's follow up in case of recurrence: I was well on the way to cirrhosis, with only a 25% success rate for my type of virus at the time, so although not the same as BC, still pretty scary). I hit a wall of anxiety within days of being signed off. It really is as though an emotional safety net has lowered/disappeared, all that support/vigilance vanishing - and its also the beginning of feeling/grieving/letting go of all the stress of the treatment and follow-up period. I actually went for counselling then, rather than before! So I would imagine you are spot on thinking there is more beneath the (understandable) plumbing anxiety....and spot on with where you should be, iyswim. Hugs and congratulations, and I hope you and everyone around you will treat you you gently right now!

Waves to everyone else

Feckitty arseing buggery bollocks !

Wound infected again .
Was meant to get drain removed today , but woke up to an oosing wound .
So have to keep the drain , and go back on the anti bs that were only stopped last night .

I'm never getting out of this bloody place

Oh Topsy

So sorry, my lovely. What a blow

I wish there was something I could do.....

oh topsy feck - that is truly rotten luck-I'm so sorry
smee hope parents arrived safely and not interfering with your work.
jane have a good day at work
Waving to Autumn

Elibean thank you and bless you- I think you have summed it up for me - that lost feeling especially. I remember the end of daily radiotherapy hit me in a similar way. x

sometimes lovely message too from you and am so pleased that you can stand up straight x

((((Topsy )))) (at persistent bacteria)

Sounds like they stopped the ABs too soon....you WILL get out, obviously, but what a total bummer its taking so long. If you can pm me your whereabouts, shall send diversion (or send me message on Word, whichever easiest!).

Sorry to hear that Topsy, I hope the oozing stops soon and they let you out before too long! x

Grrrr for Topsy. Bloody hell you aren't half going through it. You must be mighty fed up.

Glad to hear Sometimes is upright though. I quite like the soppy you.

MAS, has the tap got sorted yet? I do totally get the stress of all that. I cleaned the bathroom before the plumber came to re-fit our kitchen tap. Even the cat was giving me wtf looks...

Hope the picc line goes okay for Snoopy today. Thinking of you xx

Where's Gig today?? Hope she's okay.

• still no Figgy. Should I pursue her?

Ned, great to hear you're through another. here's hoping you're stable throughout this one. I'd bet you will be. Rest up.

Do we know where Eight is?? I think she must be through another too and I think that was her last one. Hope she's okay. Come tell us if you're lurking Eight.

Nice to see Autumn and Elibean.

Amber and Jane, seriously don't work too hard. Says she with a mountain to climb on desk in front of her..

Parents did finally arrive. hey gave DS his present, so he's hugely delighted and spent a happy few hours playing with it and with them. Then this morning, mum asked if they should give him his present before his birthday or not, so she's very confused. My tolerance is wearing a bit thin though, as they've nearly driven me crazy this morning, as I have so much work to do and they really don't get it. They couldn't come at the weekend as they're going away, so it's more than a bit annoying to have them expecting me to drop everything mid week. Still, have shovelled them off to the Museum of London. Am hoping they'll stay out until I have to pick DS up... Onwards. Sorry to moan.. Waving to all though..

smee oh dear about parents but glad ds liked his present.Maybe they'll make a day of it at museum,or wander somewhere else afterwards ?
No news of tap yet, am feeling a little calmer.

Always horrible when parents start to get frail. So sad, and also frankly annoying. Makes you feel so awful to think that way, but it's true.

Having domestic jobs done is always disruptive. I'm always apologising for the state of the place to trades folk.

If it's really too early to drink, and I fear it may be - take a deep breath and have a

and strong pain killers, Sometimes is a rather attractive mix.

Sounds most appealing, at least until the day after. None taken here though, and I have noticed the whites of my eyes are a lot brighter

I am back, I have just had a little scan through, enough to see Sometimes has had her op (which sounds a bit worrying) and Topsy is having an awful awful time.

I will go and raid the cupboards and find something nice to put on the fbs trolley.... Until I find something, I will get the ready.

Coming out of lurkdom to say hello to Smee. I had another chemo last week and my last is at halfterm - Yippee. Finally gave up on work as the docetaxol is knocking me out a bit - nothing serious but sapping the energy levels. Kids are causing major stress as well which doesn't help. It is so sad watching someone you love sink into dementia - lots of hugs. Keep trying to do long message but losing it so this time I will give a general hug and love to all - even if I am not posting I am thinking of you and sending positive vibes.

Finally up and dressed. Gp says I can't look after dgc this week or next which is a bit miserable although I am still very tired. I am going to sit in the garden this afternoon. I just feel vaguely anxious all the time. Its a bit like chemo without hair/taste loss and obviously it should be much more shortlived-its just the lethargy getting me down. Snoopy don't Google too much most of the stats go back a few years and are less relevant now. Taxotere made a huge impact on TN and so did epirubicin. The "more aggressive" label only applies for the first three years after diagnosis then it levels out.

Waving to Eight. I knew you were out there somewhere. Wow, on last chemo. You must let us virtually celebrate with you, though I seem to remember just collapsing in a heap, astonished it was all over when I got through. You've done amazingly to carry on working for this long you know. Am mighty impressed. Sorry to hear the kids are stressful. Is it DS2 still? Hope they're okay.

• waving to Sparkle too. How are you? Hope absence was just because you were busy.

waving to sparkle ! eight hooray ! nearly done now - well done
greylady hope the warm sunshine helps you feel better x

Hello all, - waiting for another roofer to give an estimate this afternoon (first chap hasn't come back with his quote yet - I like people to do things when they say they will )

topsy - sweetheart, to you, I'm so sorry you are having all this bother with your wound, you must be so fed up. You will get home soon, but I know every day feels like ten when you are in hospital. Keeping everything crossed that the oozing stops asap. xxxx

Sometimes - well done on walking about that sounds pretty brilliant to me after such a big back op. Are you taller now? And I agree with all your sentiments, we should all be proud of ourselves and its good to say so

Elibean lovely to see you. I can totally connect to your feelings of anxiety on finishing treatment, - I felt exactly the same, it was one of my scariest times, at least when you are constantly at the hospital you know there's always someone you can mention any worries to.

Hello Sparkle - hope all is Ok with you, nice to see you.

Smee - about your Mum forgetting, it is awfully difficult to see that happening. Does she have any help where she lives (my Dad went to a memory clinic where they did various memory aiding activities. And later on he went to a day centre, again, lots of activities, quizzes, making memory boards etc. And after a lot of initial protesting he did seem to enjoy himself there).

Eight - great you only have one left, hope you are keeping well, but sorry to hear of family stresses - hard to deal with at the best of times, let alone when you're not up to par.

Greylady - nice to see you improving a it each day, you will gradually get your strength back, but its very frustrating to be low in energy when you are an active person.

MAS - hope yo are feeling less anxious today. I don't like having people do work on the house either, - I always think they are looking at my house and thinking 'what a dump!'

Gig, hope you are Ok today, and hospital have given you something for soreness.

waving to everyone I may have missed. xx

ooh, do you think I might be taller?

eight good to see you! My last Tax is Monday after half term - small celebtration in order, I'd say! What news with DS? Is school still proving difficult for him?

topsy what a bugger. Hope they can stop the oozing. Rest up and get well soon, my lovely.

Waves to sparkle good to see you. Hope all bearing up Ok in the sparkle household.

sometimes take it easy, lovely. Not too much walking about, or we'll have to gr amber round with the duct tape, OK?!

kurri that's rubbish you haven't got a quote back from your roofer. Hope other one a little bit more helpful. How's your neck? Better I hope.

smee about your mum, and worry too. Hope your folks have a nice day at Museum.

Hope amber and jchoc not labouring too hard over piles of work. Take it easy, ladies.

greylady take it easy. Am sure a sit in th garden will make you feel better. I know I feel better with a bit of fresh air and sunshine. Take a nice with you and treat yourself to some chill out time x x

Tired today and finding it hard to concentrate on anything, but not too achy. Did manage to sleep til 9am - DMum sorted DS and took him to school, so it was quite nice to have a lie in.

I have emailed my boss and said that I am not coming back to work until January. Feel a bit daunted and relieved at the same time - not sure what I am going to do to fill my time, but also quite relieved that I don't have to rush back really soon after treatment. Any suggestions of useful things I could do welcome!

I feel a snooze coming on. . .

Roofer is here now, he has a very high pitched giggle, and he is giggling a lot It's like having a garden full of schoolgirls. I hope he isn't amused by the terrible state of our roof.

Ned - very wise IMO to wait until January to return to work. You could start a new hobby, or just catch up on all the books you've always meant to read

Great to have the option of a proper recovery period, Ned. I think a resourceful woman like you should be able to fill her time! You could learn something new.....

Wonder what can be making the roofer giggle? Sounds annoying so I hope he is good and cheap to make up for it