21st TAMOXIFEN !!

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- how did that happen ?

Stroll is fine, amber, a route march is less good, I would say! Good luck with the undergarment shopping

Wishing everyone a great Saturday and KK hope the news is good from your Aunt.

oh underwear shopping !! Ds as a younger boy used to grab at all the larger padded bras and squeeze them in M&S.
jane was thinking, my niece dropped out of university and got various jobs before returning to education and is now head of SN at a comprehensive -and another friends dd got a place at Chelsea Sch. of Art (my alma mata) and dropped out,taking a year away until starting again at Bath. (where she is doing v well and is very happy)

poland was great but it seems long ago now
Does anyone else think that chemo lowers your immunity permanently?
I have been struggling with this 'virus since before we went away but the last three days have been horrific. My temp is up just to 38 but enough to be uncomfortable and I just can't stop coughing all night and all day. I am so tired now. I'd love a long sleep without coughing and aching ribs. Sorry to moan when many are worse off but I'm sure things didn't last this long before BC.

Happy St Patricks Day people !
Think I may have started the celebrations a day early

Who is on breakfast duty today ?
Think I might need bacon and egg sarnies ...

Have to stick a load in the washing machine , scrub the DC , scrub myself .
And then take DS to the opticians .

Really , really could do with some drunk food to mop up last nights aftermath !

Ireland v England rugby match later . What a way to pitch husband against wife in our house

Grey think you should get yourself along to the GP . You sound really run down .
I was the healthiest I've ever been on chemo , never got any of the lowered immunity bugs whilst on it .
But now I've stopped I do find I am picking up loads of little niggly bugs , so you may be right !

Hi again, thank you for all the replies, I like this thread! Hope you are all feeling as good as possible.
Some good news yesterday, the physio came about my annoying leg and said that it's nothing to do with the cancer, it's just the muscles being a nuisance, which is a relief. She's given me a stick which I'm trying to get the hang of, and some more exercises to do in the meantime.
The opening night of the plays went really well, a few fluffed lines but the audience didn't seem to notice! I'll be glad when it's all over after tonight though, and then we can concentrate on Fiddler on the Roof, in which I play a singing corpse!
Take care x

Phew , that's good news about the leg columbia ( well as in it's not cancer related ! )

Interested in the corpse role in Fiddler

Morning everyone, hope all those who are feeling worse for wear are soon feeling a bit better.

Thanks for asking about me ned. Had a weird morning so far, the floodgates seem to have opened and I've cried buckets. Got my op date through for 4 weeks time, so all a bit more real now. The info talks about being a day case and going home within 24 hours, but don't know whether that might change depending on what type of surgery I decide on.

Had a slow start this morning, but need to go shopping and also want to look for some new pjs ready for post surgery.

Glad you're feeling relatively ok after your chemo, let's hope it stays that way. If the nausea you can get is anything like morning (read all day) sickness then anyone suffering has my complete sympathy.

Have a good weekend all xx

1step I was dx with lobular bc nearly 3 years ago. Sorry to hear your news.
My tumour was close to 6cm and I had lymph node involvement. My team offered me the choice of chemo then surgery, or surgery then chemo. Because of the nature of lobular (harder to detect initially etc) I decided to have chemo first, on the basis that as we already knew the nodes were involved, there might just be a few stray cells lurking elsewhere too. Even though I'd had CT and I think mri scans to rule this out, it can be impossible to detect tiny areas of abnormality. So I wanted the systemic treatment over first. The other advantage was that over time I could actually feel the lump decreasing and softening which was very reassuring. In the end I had a skin sparing mastectomy in early 2010 with immediate reconstruction using an expandable implant, and full node clearance. 16/18 were affected which was very scary. I was in hospital for 3 nights and got back to normal very quickly; we went out for family lunch 9 days later and I was recovered enough to drive (felt ready and wanted to). Then I had radiotherapy x15 doses to zap the site and up to the collarbone - I was higher risk due to the nodes. i found that a doddle after chemo. I'm on tamoxifen but may be switching next year to something else. About 5 months after the initial implant went in I had another op to replace it with a silicone one. I'm pretty happy with the results but may need to go back for some tweaking as over time things settle and my surgeon agrees a little more symmetry can be achieved. but it's not top of my list ! Then in Jan last year I had an oophorectomy to reduce my risk further; my cancer was v strongly oestrogen ++. That was done via keyhole surgery and I was up and about in no time.

I've recently had a clear mammo on the other side, and in Sept a clear PET scan. Of course it may come back but the longer I go on the less the risk. I can assure you I feel very well indeed. I have 4 dcs, youngest was 5 at dx.

Any further questions please ask.

columbia yay on the leg news- sounds like a touch of canceritis - lots of us have this on here- every ache and pain is connected to cancer. Hope the physio can give you some relief.

1step we always check and ask after each other - it's part of what makes this thread so special. Sorry you're having a down day. I can definitely tell you that you have to be able to let yourself cry - I cried buckets after my diagnosis, and it's part of the survival process. You have to cry when you feel the need to. At least you've got a date for your surgery. Can you get in contact with your breast care nurse if you're unsure about timings and surgery choices and staying in etc? She'll be able to help and chat through different scenarios with you. DEFINTELY treat yourself to some new Pjs for post surgery - always important! You might like to get some tops that zip up the front, cos sometimes it's hard to put things on over your head after surgery. I got a couple of zip up hoodies and a fleece that were much more comfy to put on without pulling on anything. stick with us, lovely. We can see you through this x x

annie sounds like you've been through the ringer. Good news on clear mammo and PET scan. Well done!

annie v nice to meet you on here hooray for clear scans so far
1step am sure it's really healthy to cry and vent - am not very good at that myself
Am off to do some work - hope everyone is ok today- greylady seems to be having a rough time

Waving to all - am feeling a bit fragile today too, Topsy. Not helped by DS rediscovering his shoebox of Power Rangers and abseiling them all down the stairs with battle noises. Cat and I are holed up in my little study with the door shut.

Sending a hug to 1step. Crying sounds about right to me. It really will get easier once you know what's next and all the results too. Stick here though - we all totally get what a roller coaster it all is.

Columbia, that's excellent about the leg. Physios are fab imo. I'm going to one about shoulder pain and had a niggling worry about it being cancer related even though I've just had a clear bone scan. Canceritis is most definitely a bugger. I'm guessing your next starring role has few lines to learn?!

Greylady, sounds grim being as ill as that. I'd say go to the GP too. Maybe you need some antibiotics to get rid.

Ned good to hear you're feeling okay-ish. Am willing you strong anti-sickness vibes. Hope they work.

Jane, hope your DS is okay and you too. Like the others, I know a couple who have dropped out of Uni and gone back really sure of what they wanted to do. Must be v.worrying though. How is he mentally about it all? Hope not depressed.

Hello to anniedunne. Fantastic on the mammo being clear and on your Scan. Must have been terrifying to have it though - does your team do them routinely, or were you worried about something? Very interested to hear you went for oophorectomy. I am thinking of nagging them into that for me too. Last time I mentioned it to my surgeon she was a bit dismissive though.

Waving to all others. DH about to take DS out shopping, as I have wailed loudly that if there's no chocolate for me on Mother's Day I'm leaving home. I advise you all to do similar.

Annie - sorry you've been through so much over the last few years. Great news about your clear test results and good to hear that you now feel so well. How and when do you find out whether the bc is receptive to your hormones? This hasn't been mentioned to me yet.

Ned - thanks for your kind words, set me off with the tears again as I'm finding it difficult to deal with people being nice to me, how crazy is that?! Didn't end up shopping for pjs as I just couldn't face it, so stayed in car whilst dh popped into a couple of shops for essentials. Will have a look online as I just don't feel like being in a crowded place, imagining that everyone else's life is hunky dory (even though I know that's not necessarily the case) when all I can think is 'I've got cancer'.

Columbia - great news that your physio has reassured you that your leg problems are not cancer related. Hope the exercises and stick help. Good luck with Fiddler on the Roof - the mind boggles at thought of a singing corpse!

Topsy - hope you're not feeling too rough after last night. Happy St Patrick's Day, sending a pint of Guinness your way to help you celebrate :). Enjoy the rugby.

Grey lady - the bugs have been doing the rounds in our house too, seems to be so many about at the moment. Maybe get checked out at the Drs just in case you've got an infection and need some antibiotics. Hope you feel better soon.

Mas - the thought of your DS squeezing the bras in M&S made me smile. Priceless :)

Amber - hope you enjoyed your girls day out and managed to treat yourself to something nice.

Gig - how's mini gig today, still feeling ok after the jabs I hope?

Smee - hope you enjoyed your evening with friends.

Kurri - hope you get good news about your aunt today.

Jchoc - if it's any consolation, a friend's dd dropped out of uni, but then decided to go back to study something completely different, and is now getting on really well. Maybe this is just a blip in him finding out what he really wants to do.

Hope I haven't missed anyone's news, I didn't realise how many people posted here :)

Happy St Patrick's day to all.

Greylady - I do think it takes longer to get over things since chemo, - I do find I often seem to get a secondary infection after a virus. Do you have anything to take? - definitely worth a trip to the GP if you are constantly running a temp. And don't overdo things. I'm glad you enjoyed your trip.

1Step - dates always make thing feel more real - and they feel soon yet also like a long wait. Crying is fine, - I certainly did plenty of that, and actually I think it helps. Keeping busy, feeling organized (as you say sorting out your PJ's, and what to take with you etc. etc) all helps. I found walking and fresh air helped me get my head together and feel a little calmer. But remember if you find everything does get a bit much, do go and have a chat with your GP, or your BCN - they are very understanding about the emotional effects of a cancer DX and can help in lots of ways.

Columbia - well done on your play, I'm trying to think where the singing corpse comes in Fiddler on the Roof great that the physio thinks the leg problem is not cancer related, hope the exercises help.

Ned - hope you are still feeling OK, it would be great if you could feel you've got the sickness well controlled. Have a nice restful weekend.

topsy good luck with rugby watching - I've just had to sit through a lot of sulking and stamping about Scotland (just don't say 'Wooden Spoon' in this house )

Hope you're having a good weekend Holsten, and not finding your return to work too tiring.

Aunty is OK, - thank you for asking, - they removed the duct, she was under the impression that they were going to biopsy it and then go on to do the mastectomy if necessary. But they just did the smaller op. and will re operate if necessary - so I think she's a bit fed up about that - was hoping it would be done and dusted. But other wise she is home after one night in hospital (her op was last on the list so a long day with no food!) and recuperating.

Hello Annie - always nice to hear from people who are doing well - it sounds as if you've had a lot to deal with well done for getting through especially with 4 young DC - it must have been hard.

Waving to amber - hooray for no more Harry, good luck with shopping for pants

Waving and love to everyone xx

I am so slow I have X posted. Hello MAS and Smee (Smee is fragility connected with friends visit last night? )

1step - don't worry about keeping up - its an impossible task, and no one will be offended if you miss something

DD came home from teaching her pupil with a bunch of lovely flowers for me, and DS has sent me a little package and a card in the post. The parcel I sent for my Mum has apparently been taken back to the depo, and is not to be collected for 48 hours, despite her being in when it was 'delivered'

Kurri, I'd say that's good news about your Aunt and she won't need another op.

1Step, the hormone info should come soon. They test the tumour to see what's fuelling it. Can't remember what percentage are positive, but it's quite high I think. Mine was top end, so I've been put on Tamoxifen for 5 years. Bit of a sod as it pushes you to menopause, but it's supposed to give you a stronger defence against recurrence so is a positive in lots of ways.

I X posted too!

Kurri - glad your aunty is home, let's hope there's no need for a further op, but can understand her frustration. Yours too regarding the parcel you sent, it's so annoying when that happens.

Smee - Totally agree about the chocolate, I've spotted a not very well hidden box of choccies in the kitchen, so will be stuffing myself with them tomorrow! Will be interested to find out whether the bc is hormone related as recently my hormones have been terrible, mood swings (worse than my usual pms) and feeling like I'm about to combust with internal heat, etc. Assumed it was start of perimenopause and now wonder if it's all connected.

The singing corpse role is Grandmother Tzeitel, who has been dead for thirty years and comes on in the dream sequence to sing a funny little song. No lines to learn fortunately, which is a relief because the plays I'm doing tonight have shedloads, and I'll be glad when it's all over!

Canceritis? I like it! Never heard that term before, but it is very apt, the docs are always amazed when I DON'T attribute every single ache and pain to the cancer. It's bad enough the damage it has caused, but I don't get paranoid that every other twinge is related, otherwise I'd go nuts!

Hello lovely ladies and a special welcome to our new posters too.

Can't believe we're on No. 21. Adding champagne and Thorntons choccies to the FBS trolley to celebrate, rather belatedly.

No sooner have I read through everyones posts, than I have practically forgotten all of it. Surely not chemo brain after all this time (9 months)?

I have a touch of canceritis this week too - rib pain, which I know some of you had also had. Also, now that the numbness around my scar is fading, I can feel all sorts of strange and unnerving twinges. Not sure if they're normal or not - I think I preferred it when all was numb.

Someone mentioned the hormone receptive cancers - mine was very highly oestrogen positive which the BC nurse said was a good thing because it meant that they could give me an inhibitor and the Letrozole would be more effective. I'd be very interested in having an oopher thingy too.

I've decided my M&S mx bras that I initially thought were wonderful, aren't that wonderful after all. The straps completely curl up and dig into my shoulders which means they're very uncomfortable. So I've just ordered some silicone shoulder cushions from e-Bay which fit under the straps. I thought that might be cheaper than buying new bras. We'll see.

Jchoc, just wanted to say that it's far better DS realises now that the course isn't suited to him rather than further down the line. I know several friends whose DC did the same, took some time out to reconsider their options, then chose another course. They've all got their degrees now. A couple of their DC decided not to go down that route and were lucky enough to find apprenticeships. I know how disappointed you must be feeling but it's for the best.

Onestep, I can totally relate to how you're feeling now and definitely found it easier once I could start making practical plans about hospital stay, recovery etc.

KK, shame about your mum's parcel - will she be able to get it in time?

Amber, did you get some nice shopping. I was wondering if you're going wigless yet? You're hair must be growing back again by now - do you like it?

Ned, hope the sickness stays away. But definitely take something if you start feeling icky again. Ginger beer is meant to help (although I hated the stuff - yuk).

Sorry to read that Greylady isn't feeling well. I've definitely found it hard to shake off any viruses. I think a trip to the doctors is in order - you might need something to help like antibees.

Annie, nice to hear your story and that your latest tests were all clear.

Topsy, we're watching the rugby today too - I hope you stay friends with DH whatever the outcome. Who do the children support, I wonder?

Off for a takeaway curry tonight with friends - should be lots of fun.

Waving to Figgy. Was wondering how you are. Just quickly, as am supposed to be working, but I've anxted about my rib pain so much, yet bone scan two weeks ago was clear. My team have told me it's probably related to Rads damage and very, very common so maybe take some heart from that. I know it's alarming though. Hope shoulder thingies work out - had never heard of those before.

Kurri, what a shame about your mum's parcel. Still she'll have something to look forward to later in the week.

just taking a break from making Easter stickers and doing a picture - waves to smee and figgy
I loved Fiddler on the Roof- my best friend got it for us to watch together years ago as I hadn't seen it !
Oh well, must return to my desk....

oh dear about your mum's present kk - and glad that your aunt is home- let's hope that the one op. was sufficient. Love to all xxx

Columbia- good news on leg and glad play went well.

J- my sister dropped out of medicine and went back to do psychology. The effect on my mum who found it very worrying was far greater than on my sis who ended up doing what she wanted to.

Grey- not had chemo but I know that my immunity had been shot for ages after big ops/stressful physical events . Have found taking shed loads of vitamins makes a difference (although that virus sounds like horrid one that laid dh low- who is never ill- just before xmas).

Topsy- how is your head? Dh , my dad and dss off at match now while I watch tigger and pooh on DVD...

Ned- how are you doing?

Smee- I don't know if am getting anything but after the day glo cake I think I can cope . And power rangers sounds as bad as barbie mermaids ...they were having a surf meet in my bed this morning.

Kurri - am pleased for your aunt but can see its frustrating to think more op.

1ststep- can I suggest nice toiletries (body shop always have good online offers) and also dare I say it the one piece pyjama things. I know people laugh but I liked how they had no seams and opened at front. I scoffed as was bought one as a present but they were great to veg out in post surgery.

Talking of which am stocked up on aloe Vera but also trying dermatitis at recommendation of a friend on scars. Trying it on c section scar first but she reckons its Better than bio oil .

Mini gig seems fine- only side effect seems to be slightly worse nappies.

Hi to everyone else - Mas, amber and anyone I have missed xx

'Ello all!
Knickers bought...along with a nice long summer dress! Meal out, too. Then a lot of gardening.
My hair is indeed growing back nicely..and hairdresser managed to get some highlights in it this week. More to go, though. Trouble is, it's curly. It used to be absolutely straight. I'm not ready to show the world curly short hair, so it's staying under the wigs until I feel brave enough.

available, or since it's nearly evening