21st TAMOXIFEN !!

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- how did that happen ?

I would agree with Mas amber- to say herceptin didn't agree with you is an understatement. Look at how you are now compared with a few weeks back but guess drs will guide you.

yup gig is correct there - all the factors are taken into consideration- size,grade,stage,involvement of nodes/vascular etc margins and stuff and churned up together - so a grade 2 could be large but slow growing,a grade three could be small but fast growing.

hello all - topsy did you manage to get some sleep in the end, despite a 12 yr old pinching your bed/ - I tootled off to bed in the end, but read for a long time, - I've been having a lot of dreams about Dad recently, - and I wake up feeling upset, so I think that is making me reluctant to go to sleep.

OneInEight - I'm glad DS is getting some help now, - it sounds as if they have lots of things to offer to help him be happier at school
Good luck with the docetaxol today - I don't have any tips, (I had FEC followed by CMF) but hope it all goes well for you

Gracie - your colleague is beyond bonkers I hope she's not winding you up too much, just smile and nod (while muttering things under your breath! )

My tumour was grade three, - as MAS says there are a few of us on here, amber is much better than me at all the facts and figures, but talking to others grade three seems to be quite a wide category, including size ad type of tumour, and whether it has spread to lymph nodes, and I think it generally means you get chemo. And I know it's daunting, but actually there is a certain amount of comfort to be had from knowing they are throwing everything at the bastard thing.

amber - you are brave to consider herceptin again, but it sounds as if you are feeling a lot better and more like your old self, so its understandable if you want to give it a go, - and you can always stop it, if it starts being a bit of a git again.

MAS - new cousins sounds exciting, are they over for a long visit?
Sorry to hear your mum is having problems with depression, - it is very hard when you feel your life is restricted. Does she have many interests or hobbies she enjoys that she can still do? - I know it's hard to feel motivated when you are depressed, maybe once we start getting some nicer weather and she can sit out in the sunshine her mood will improve.

Figgy your cruise sounds wonderful - I hope you have a great time - I haven't been abroad since DX, so don't really know about insurance, but I think I remember someone saying there was something on the Breast Cancer care website about travel ins., or they might be able to advise you if you ring their helpline.

I had my hair cut today, very short - it was getting a bit woolly and odd looking! And guess what - I drove home from the city and managed to stay calm and sensible, even when an idiot overtook me and then instantly turned in front of me to go down a side road, and he indicated right then turned left - just impatience because I was tootling along quite slowly, but with obvious L plates so you'd think people would make allowances. (To be fair everyone else was very considerate)

Oops Gig - I somehow missed your post, - baby day sounds lovely, how has tiny Gig been sleeping the last couple of nights?

Slightly about nanny texting you. I mean its nice of her, but how does she think you are? - mightily inconvenienced by her!

Kurri that sound horrible but understandable to think about your dad/sleeping.

Mini been sleeping very well (asleep next to me as I speak) but I know we are weeks away from the 4 month regression.

Am trying not to worry about nanny - think texting indicates she isn't on the scam for sick pay but as you say it is inconvenient and her offer to make up days when better doesn't really help. I need to know she is reliable - Its not a Flexi time job.

Yes, I was a grade 3. Breast cancer is described in stages and grades. Stage is how far it's spread/how big the lump is. Grade is how fast the lump grows. Stage is more important. Grade 3 is the usual sort for pre-menopausal women but is good news in a way, as it's so active that it sucks in loads of the chemotherapy drug and dies quickly (generally). Bit like an overly-thirsty plant.

Amber I will get off my mangled arse to get you some mini eggs for that lovely explanation.

Bless you amber - you are so good at explaining these things, - I like the plant analogy and the idea of it sucking in lots of chemo drug, I've never had it explained that way before and I find it very reassuring

sorry to hear about dreams kk - I do think the mind processes difficult stuff while we sleep. It is exhausting though.
Mum spends much of her time reading - they moved originally from London where she had loads of friends and interests- walking the dog,she did meditation,going out to lunch/tea/cinema/looking after ds-to a remote house up a hill outside Bath -too steep to ride her bike,and she gradually lost her independence because she doesn't drive and her health began to deteriorate. By the time they moved here she was pretty much reliant on dad for going out to town (walking) -now she doesn't walk anywhere,apart from in the garden (she loves gardening but can't do much now) and around Sainsbury's with dad.

NZ relations have been travelling around the country and to Ireland- they off tomorrow somewhere else,so a fleeting visit to ours. We are curious to hear how they managed at dad's cousin's house (a big rambling house that I remember from when my great aunt lived there) The cousins there are eccentric and bohemian and it's undeniably grubby with ancient things in pans on the cooker- they are charming and lovely but not exactly given to housework. The very worst house I went to was a friend of mum's who was a therapist (I was seeing her a couple of times a week) The fridge was black inside and every cup or plate was filmy with grease -she used to make me nourishing soups out of herbs which were uniformly brown and worrying (particularly as I knew they watered their vegetable patch with wee)

amber speaks the truth there. In a way,chemo girls should feel more reassured than those of us who fall in between things ie. no chemo because of obviously no nodes -though younger people with same dx would get chemo- it sometimes feels a bit of a grey area.

Hah at therapist house- bet you looked forward to that herb tea (my therapist smells of cigarettes sometimes but that's about it).

That is so tough for your mum. All this has made me pretty much housebound for spells like now and there is no doubt it does bad things to your mind.

I suppose I ought to wake mini up now.

my mum also told me that my therapist didn't wear knickers,which was a bit disturbing.

That would figure - mine doesn't wear a bra.

Was it Figgy who wanted insurance info link

I called freedom. I am waiting to hear back from them if there higher risk people will do me (issue is to do with fact am recently dx) but they were lovely.

Ouch. Quote is £500 for a holiday of same amount.

I was grade 3 too, but no node involvement. I think I was stage 2a, as more than 2cm but less than 5cm, and no nodes. Can probably find the Macmillan link that explains it, if you like, gracie ? Although our own amber does it so much better

amber more Herceptin? Really? what does oncologist say?

Revving up for chemo tomorrow - quite pleased its in the morning, rather than having to wait around until 2pm and beyond. Will feel better once I'm done, then I can feel like I really am half way! And try not to stress about what is still to come. . .

eight that sounds like an excellent response from school - like they really want to get it sorted for DS. CAMHS usually very good, in my experience. I hope he is enjoying his holiday and not worrying about school too much. Sending you all big hugs. Hope Docetaxol has behaved for you today?

My best insensitive colleague comment, when I went into school soon after dx to drop off some assessments I had at home, was "well, on the positive side, you missed a very boring staff meeting on Monday. . . "

kurri sorry about lack of sleep and memories of your dad. No answers or suggestions to help, but sending you lots of big hugs x x

MAS hope you have a lovely time with NZ cousins!

gig at nanny. Are you in a position to tell her to beggar off? Glad minigig sleeping well.

topsy how is ds? is he on the road to recovery? I do hope so. It seems a bit rotten to miss holiday being ill, rather than getting time off school!

Hope everyone OK this afternoon - we've got rain here, but I do love the smell of rain in the air when its been so dry.

Sigh
Not only is DS still I'll , but now DD has come down with the lurgy too !
All I need now is for DH to decide he us dying has it and I will leave home !

Hope everyone is ok today .
Very interesting thread from Holsten over on actives .
She has gone up heaps in my estimations

Holstens thread is titled "bonking day" and it's in chat ...

Gracie, I wear wigs all the time apart from at night and absolutely love them. Others don't get on with them at all, so it all depends on preference. I went to a truly lovely wig specialist recommended by the chemo unit, and she found me a wig so natural that no-one can tell it's not my own hair.

Stages: www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Breast/Symptomsdiagnosis/Stagingandgrading.aspx is a nifty explanation from Macmillan.
Mine was either 2.3cm or 4cm (depends who you believe) and not in the nodes, so that's a Stage 2a.

Stage 1 - just in the breast, tiny lump. V good odds.
Stage 2 - either little but it's got into a lymph node ...or bigger up to 5cm but just in the breast. Normally very treatable.
Stage 3 - it's spread into surrounding tissues as well. Bit trickier.
Stage 4 - it's escaped elsewhere in the body e.g. lungs, liver. Bit trickier.

www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Breast/Symptomsdiagnosis/Stagingandgrading.aspx

Runs to holstens thread...

Ned tons of luck for tomorrow.

As for stage 4- two words for you lance Armstrong .

I was wondering how Holsten was getting on- very well it would appear.

Sparkle runs in after a tinsey winsey panic.......

I thought I had lost you guys, you disappeared off my threads I am on page......
So relieved to have found you.

I am not caught up, will try and do so tomorrow.

Hope smee is having a fanastic time.

We are still here eating FBs

Should have said love to all who may be feeling lousey, love to all who may be having treatment, or appts, and generally love to all. Sorry to be awol...but that is half term for you.

True- my mn time will be down next few days when have both gigs.
Dsd coming to help again - she is particularly good with mini and although I know dh bribed her, I am bloody grateful (can't remember who it was who suggested student help but dsd filling that gap).