21st TAMOXIFEN !!

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- how did that happen ?

Bon Voyage Smee, MrSmee and SmeeJunior - have a fabulous time xx

missing you already smee xxx
kk hooray for dd ! brilliant !
Take it easy figgy -time to recuperate.
Off to bed now- I wonder what might be in my dreams ?

Am hammered !
Have eaten every curry known to man .
Have embarrassed 2 teenage boys .
Have drunk my own body weight (considerable) in wine .
Am sneaking into smees suitcase for her trip to new York ...

Think it may be bedtime ...

@ topsy -it sounds a jolly good evening -are you feeling a bit feeble today ?

Not feeling too bad .
Although that maybe something to do with the fact that I don't think I am entirely sober yet ...

:) Topsy, I'm surprised you are up! Is there any spare room in that case? Might be cold in the hold so wrap up warm.

Smee, hope you manage to pack and go without incident. :)

Fell over in the middle of the night, got disorientated going to the bathroom without a light on. reached out for a wall that wasn't there and overbalanced :(

uh oh- are you ok jane ?

Oh jane - I hope you didn't hurt yourself?

topsy - I want to know how you embarrassed two teenage boys - It sounds as if you had a good time

waving to MAS.

Topsy how is the head and how did you embarrass the boys?

J hope you are ok.

Nanny now has bad back so is likely off tomorrow and possibly few days - got no help tomorrow so 2 girls plus a drain could be interesting . On a wider note I don't know what to do as I think nanny is ace but was saying bad back may be due to fact I asked her to carry pushchair up front steps (not bump it up and break it- I add these are super light pushchairs) . I would have more sympathy with this if I hadn't seen her picking up/playing with big gig who is no light weight.

it's difficult gig,especially as you like her, but it does sound a bit Not sure what to do.
Waves to kk
Hope topsy is feeling ok...

gig That is a nightmare re: your nanny. I agree with Maryann it does sound a bit . Hope you are ok tomorrow. Is there anyone else who could give you a hand? Hope mini Gig slept well.

Kurri that was a lovely touch with the present. Your daughter must have been fab. Hope the antib s/e are wearing off and you are not under house arrest.

topsy good to hear you had a fab time. You do know you have to spill the beans about embarrassing the boys - was any dodgy dancing involved? Hope you are now fully sober and not suffering. Just say your pm will pm you back.

Ned According the consent form I filled in it is FEC I am having which is double dutch to me but sure all you fonts of knowledge know exactly what that is

1step 10th April isn't too long to wait. I'm sure you will be glad to get it over.

Ok, now the big question for me now is how soon will I lose my hair? Should I have it cut really short now or wait until it comes out? My lovely hairdresser and his wife brought me some flowers and told me to come and see them whenever I liked but do I go sooner rather than later?

I really must learn how to stop writing War & Peace each time.

Gracie hair loss normally happens around the 2nd dose of chemo .
When you go in to the Bridgewater suite for your next appointment ask to see the wig lady , she will take you off to a little room and try a selection of wigs on you .

I am feeling a little more human now .
Embarrassed one teenage boy by telling everyone how much he used to love his telly tubby pjs and how he was an extremely hairy baby

Having a lazy sofa day with DS today . He is still not well . General malaise and very high temp .
I just keep making him drink loads .

DH and DD are off to Grannys for lunch . Hope they bring me something back , I am starving .
Need something to soak up all that booze !

Gig that is a really tough call about what to do about the nanny . You really need someone reliable right now don't you ?

Isn't that kind of story the perks of being a parent of a teenager? topsy - sounds like sofa in order for you and ds today.

gracie i think Ned got some very elegant looking buffs as well to cover hair loss. There was some nice site that had them.

Mini gig still doing ok on sleeping (am not fooling myself as remember big gig went backwards between 4-6 months). I can cope ok with her or big gig but juggling both and trying not to agitate wound or knock train a bit like playing twister. have asked a friend if she can come for a playdate as that way may get to entertain /tire big gig for a bit.

I don't know what to do with nanny but will play it by ear. If she does have back problems - leaving aside needing help when I get treated- that is going to be an ongoing issue as mini gig is still going to need carrying to change etc for some time yet and will get no lighter. And I am not sure how you get round that....

Also on the front, doesnt really look like drain slowed down much so I suspect that may not come out tomorrow and rads will be pushed back.

oh dear, I hope your rads aren't too delayed. Do you think the nanny may be feeling over stretched with two wee ones,given her 2 recent ailments ? it might be her way of trying to say something ? or am I looking too intensely at it ?
Poor junior topsy and you're missing granny's lunch.

topsy was really hoping for some dodgy dancing although having 2 teenage sons myself they would probably prefer me to strut my stuff on the dance floor than tell all their mates about their love for Tellytubbies. Ok maybe I'll hold off on the mega haircut for a week or two then - typical I have finally grown my hair back to its normal colour after years and years of highlights/tints and I love it. Enjoy the sofa - that's where I'm going for an hour with my book. Hope your wee son improves.

Found a website annabandana which looks ok. Has anyone ordered from them and be honest am I better sticking to something like this on a day to day basis and wear the wig for 'Sunday Best'

gig good idea about the playdate - the more tired they are the better! I had 2 fab sleepers and one absolute nightmare. DH and I spent our nights doing shifts of trying to get him to sleep and doing the ironing/watching sky. It wasn't unheard of for me to have all the ironing done and the windows cleaned by 5am. Wee sod

Meant to say gig really hope you aren't delayed with your rads.

I think that is a fair point Mas. She has never had a baby before so it's all been a bit new to her (and mini gig is about as easy as babies go). Of course plan was before dx that I would deal with mini initially but of course it hasn't panned out that way . That said when I have been out in hospital my mother has been here most of time to help and she does tend to have mini for only a bit at a time (usually when big is in nursery) and not If they are doing anything "tricky" (ie big is on playdate or going to playground). So actually considering it is her job, she has help (dh doesn't get same allowances but he is a vintage dad).

Gig - very difficult about the nanny, do you think her ailments are genuine, - it does sound as if she's trying it on a bit - which is the last thing you need at the moment. - Difficult though especially if she is good with the children and they are fond of her.

I hope you do manage to get rid of your drain and get on with the rads - at least they mat be able to give you some idea tomorrow of what is a likely schedule.

gracie - I lost my hair around the time of 2nd chemo too. I had long hair at the time, and wish I'd had it cut short, as it all fell out in a short space of time. I would invest in one or two hats or buffs to wear around the house when you don't feel like wearing a wig, and at night - your head can get rather cold.

I had FEC to start with too, (then I had a different drug for the second half of my chemo) - I know someone on here had all FEC (was it you Figgy?) so will be able to tell you more.

It makes your wee go red for a couple of days afterwards. And IIRC takes about 2-3 hours to administer for your first dose, a nurse will sit with you and give you the drug through a cannula, - and will talk to you about side effects etc. - it's a good chance to ask any questions or discuss any thing you are worried about. - Then they set up a drip to flush it through your system - that's what takes the time.

They'll keep a good eye on you and check you are feeling OK You usually get to sit in a reclining chair, and you can take books, mags, food, iplayer or whatever to pass the time. You usually get offered food and drink, but I used to prefer to take my own little lunch box of stuff I liked.

topsy - glad you are feeling more human. Teenage boys were invented for us middle aged laydees to embarrass Sorry DS is still feeling poorly - hope it clears up soon - shame for him to be unwell during his Easter holidays.

I'm guessing Smee will be somewhere over the Atlantic by now

I am spring cleaning the spare room so I can have a corner for my arty stuff (I know how to live dangerously! )

Gracie I'm on FEC too.

Check out this link - it is from the Macmillan website, and what I was given at the hospital. Its got loads of info.
Macmillan linky

With the hair, it depends on how you feel. I have always had short hair anyway, but I had it cut really quite short when I found out I was definitely having chemo. Then, when it started to go and it was looking patchy, i.e. there were bits of scalp showing, I went to my lovely hairdresser and got a no.2 crewcut all over, and started to wear my headscarves. For me it was a control thing - I felt I was making decisions about my hair, rather than the drugs doing it for me.

It went pretty quickly after that, in the bath mostly, but it was easier when it was so short. I would lie under the bath water and give it a good rub, and lots more would come out. I just wanted rid of it, once it started going.

It started to shed about day 14 of my first cycle, and was all but completely gone by the time I had my second chemo. Also, hair goes from "elsewhere" too - don't be too alarmed! My scalp was very sensitive, like sunburn, when the hair was falling out, but has settled down now.

You can try the cold cap if you feel strongly about wanting to try to save your hair. I decided that I wouldn't bother, as, in the big scheme of things, I wasn't too bothered about losing my hair. My oncology nurse said, given the total loss that I have experienced, the cold cap would not have worked for me. Others on here have had some success with it, so I won't comment any more on that. I am sure others will be able to add more.

I ordered some scarves from AnnaBandanna, and found lovely patterns etc, but rather bulky. There is a lot of excess fabric in the ones I chose, which rode up at the back if I was wearing a hoody or anything with a collar. My mum ended up cutting off a lot of the excess material and re-hemming them for me. I would recommend Buffs here which smee recommended to me. They're super comfy and easy to wear and much less bulky.

That's a start for you to think about - I am sure others will have lots to add. PLEASE ask any more questions you want.

Sending you big hugs x x x

Hi all, just a few words about the cold cap for gracie as I'm very tired today after sleeping about 3 hours last night. I had one glass of wine and horrific night sweats all night so think it really is the chemo-induced menopause at 40 .

I had 4 doses of EC (which is FEC minus the F!), then 4 of docetaxel. I used the cold cap with all 8 doses and still have enough hair that you wouldn't know I've lost some iykwim. Some fell out after doses 1 and 2 of EC, then it stopped. Hair went from v thick to a bit less so, but nothing noticeable. Lost body hair but kept eyelashes and brows.

Then quite a lot more fell out after doses 1 and 2 of docetaxel, but that's a different drug. I went a bit bald on top, but everyone claimed not to notice when I pointed it out to them! It put paid to my lashes and brows as well.

For me, keeping most of my hair helped me cope and stay feeling positive. If your hospital offers it there's no harm in trying it if you're interested. I was told that whatever was still attached after 2 doses would pretty much stay there, and that was true with both types of chemo I had.

I met a couple of lovely ladies as we were attached to cold caps side by side, one lady gave up after 3 doses of EC as she had lost most of her hair, another lost quite a bit after doses 1 and 2 (she was having FEC), then after dose 3 it stopped falling out and she persevered with it for all 6 courses of FEC. She was a little bald on top but wore a beret with her natural hair showing round the sides, which looked v chic!

In short it varies how much it works but is worth a try if you're offered it.

Time for a or maybe a didn't think I had hurt myself, but have an impressive bruise come up on my arm...

Sorry you have nanny troubles, gig, hope she gets her act together soon.

How long does it take to fly to NY?

Watching a new silent witness here, really should go and find my glasses so its not so blurry.

The buffs look good ned.

Has anyone had period trouble starting tamoxifen? My cycle has lengthened but then when it came it was so heavy - haven't dared go out today.

About 7 hours j so she should be there.

Mini eggs have helped me tonight (am having a day where see cancer headlines everywhere).

Nanny reckons she will be back on Tuesday - I don't know whether to be happy or . Even if she is here I feel like have to make allowances and feel guilty if do rest so maybe I do need to revisit the arrangement.

xpost Mrsm. Night sweats are awful, I keep waking in the night and then tiredness sets in later in the day. But on the other hand, I was reading an article earlier that said the side effects indicated the drugs were working which is a good thing, I suppose.

xpost gig - think I have been missing the medicinal effects of mini eggs. So glad its easter next week and I can celebrate the end of lent :)

jane tamoxifen seems to have made my periods disappear though mysteriously after a gap of 6 months it's back - not sure if it'll now be another 6 months. I think it just sends them a bit haywire.