**TAMOXIFEN 18**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my,we're starting our 18th !

Ooh marmite, hark at you with your fancy lattice. My Surgeon said she's not allowed to do them as they're so expensive. I don't know about infection, but she was very excited by them in terms of results, so fingers crossed you'll get a good result. Are you all packed for tomorrow? Remember to take a bag for the drains. They're deeply annoying, but you can almost forget about them if you have a bag slung with them in.

Ned, hope you're okay-ish today. The others are right, as once you get over the shock and start treatment it does get easier. Get through the op and then get a calendar and start ticking off the days to the end of treatment.

amber, will be thinking of you and your DH all today. Am not surprised you're feeling wobbly, but you'll be okay. Just get through today, then you can both breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Figgy, I can do cranberry juice, but struggle with some mouth washes. Those chocs sound good. Why did no-one give those to me??

Topsy, hope you're not too low. January's a bugger at the best of times, but you have to plough through rads and all. Hugs from me. Moan and rant if it helps. xx

Jane, have a good trip home.

Nowt going on here, but it's so cold! I have a mountain of work but really want to go and see an exhibition which finishes on Sunday and would just about have time to slink off and get there and back before picking up DS. hmm....

Oh do it smee!

Personally I am fighting the urge to hit the sofa and read a book, so I share your pain. I'll be the conscientious one today - just go.

Excellent, I have been given permission by Sometimes. Think you're right. Will take some work to read on the bus.

ooh what exhibition is this smee ?? how lovely.
Lots of good thoughts to Mr amber and hugs for dear amber and topsy too.
marmite - op tomorrow ? will be thinking of you - @ part woman part pig !
ned what amber said about lumpectomy is right - they will be sure to get everything out with good margins -which is reassuring. Are you having a node biopsy ?

Marmite, I swear by taking manuka honey and lactoferrin to boost the immune system from inside, and using aloe vera gel on the skin as soon as you're allowed to do so as it's cooling and healing stuff. But do ask the team if all of that is ok.
It's an odd thing about why some hospital teams say no vitamins...can't think of a single bit of research that suggests this has a scientific basis but I'll keep looking.
Here, the hospital forgot dh was in for a general anaesthetic, and I had to remind them, then they had to go get the anaesthetist back. I'm a bit shaky now.

Hope he is out soon, and you can stop shaking, amber.

I was told the vitamin thing was because they worried that extra vitamins would aid the recovery of any lurking cancer cells. I thought it was rot then, and I still think so now, but I am very compliant when it comes to medical treatment so I just did what I was told

Oh Ned I am so sorry to read your news. I would like to add to what the others have said. It has been a terrible shock, and you need to give yourself time to cry about it, but you will get through it, take it one step at a time, and come here to cry, rant, etc whenever you need to.

I will gratefully accept both Terry's chocolate orange and xmas cake...thank you!

well I was stuffed full to the brim with vitamins, healthy foodstuffs etc and got a total clinical response (all cancer converted to scar tissue). That's not a good statistical sample, I know, but we know that cancer is far more common in people who are short of Vit D, for example (very good science showing this). My onc is national president at the mo for this and said I could take whatever I liked, so I took her at her word.

www.medscape.com/viewarticle/735088 and this recent research seems to say that it's apparently beneficial to take vitamins during bc treatment such as chemotherapy

Thanks amber! Off to buy some manuka honey and lactoferrin this pm. Am very keen to support the natural defences in my body in whatever way I can (and if it didn't have such serious consequences, I'd be quite keen to see whether I could prompt my body to deal with it on its own terms).

Hope all well with your DH. I can't believe you had to remind them what he was having

Vitamin D? Is that so? God I am so ignorant about this disease.

That was a deliberate decision on my part (couldn't bear to engage with it more than was strictly necessary). It goes without saying, therefore, when I say that amber can always surprise me with stuff i never knew before.

Good job I like oily fish

I can read the positive stuff - about healing, benefits of meditation etc - but not the v factual, medical info. I even find the macmillan and Cancer Research sites a bit much - and they're meant to be reassuring!

I've also opted not to tell anyone outside the family. DS1 knows that I have to have an operation for pains v vaguely up near my chest/shoulder but no more and is fine with that (he's only 5). Am just finding easier to carry on completely as normal (working for me at the moment - hope chemo is kind!).

Sounds like my approach, marmite. My dd was 5 at the time, too. I did tell the school just in case she was struggling a bit. They were great with both me and her, and did talk to her about it a bit when she raised it. Just a thought.

I generally kept it very quiet, though, and avoided the cancer websites, they aren't very reassuring at all. They want to tell you too much. Knowledge isn't always power

I think you may well find you can work largely as normal. In many ways it can help to keep you sane. It's the luck of the draw though, of course, some people have jobs that aren't treatment friendly, or they are just unlucky and feel too tired or unwell. See how you go - but don't be tempted to stop just because someone tells you you should.

Sometimes....is that you....it is isn't it!! Sparkle swoops in to hug sometimes. Missed you.

x

on now all the family is here.

Ds has come home with a page of hand written poetry. This is a massive achievement. He had to had pain relief and a warm compress to complete it, but he did it, and school are so proud. Have had a little cry, think I am going to frame it.

If anyone ever wondered, it is because of the likes of me, writing short and some would argue pointless posts, which mean that we are now on Tam 18! Tis my contribution.......sorry.

Ned, so sorry to hear your news. Like others have said take some time to cry and then one step at a time.

Marmite - goodluck for your operation. My tip is make sure they empty your drain before you go home - I had to dash back to the hospital on a Sunday night when mine de-vaccumed. It is only now well after my op. that I feel up to telling anyone and even now I'm not shouting it to the roof-tops.

Amber and Topsy - hugs sound in order.

Smee- hope you managed to get to the exhibition & thanks again for the advice yesterday.

Gah, it helps if hospitals write correctly on notes and realise it's a general anaesthetic for dh not a local. Much chaos and stress whilst they sorted it out there and then. Home, he's resting, I'm drinking .

Hope dh is recovering and you're both not too stressed by the events of the day amber - grrr about their inefficiency .
Am exhausted after much trailing around estate agents and seeing 3 houses with my friend S - I adore one which is a few minutes from my house and is gorgeously cute- she is on her own and a very small person so she'd feel very cosy in there, though it doesn't feel cramped or tiny. We saw a much bigger house in my road,but she'd be lost in it,plus it needs a bit of TLC,and finally a new- ish build but I found it a bit soulless.
Poor dad's best friend is in hospital intensive care -not sure of details (going to see parents shortly) sounds serious- dad and he are very close and dad would be devastated if anything happened

cute cottage

MAS - that is very cute. I want to live there! Can already picture myself sitting on the terrace in hand >sigh

Did someone mention Cancer websites. [shudder]

Marmite, unscientific this, but I reckon whatever gets you through is good for you. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Have they said how long you'll be in for?

Amber, phew for you. What a day though. Ridiculous that you had to tell them about the GA.

Sometimes, I was like you - took nothing as that's what they told me not to. We should appoint Amber as our Nutritionist.

Sparkles, that is lovely about DS. You should definitely frame it. I hope he's incredibly proud of himself.

MAS, about your dad's friend. I hope it's not as desperate as it sounds. Good news about your friend maybe moving close though. That cottage does look cute. Is she tempted? I saw Gerhard Richter at Tate Modern. been meaning to go ever since it opened, then suddenly realised it was closing on Sunday. Was brilliant apart from all the other people who decided to be there too. Still glad I went though.

Friday night, so a glass of wine anyone?

I am already the right side of a glass of wine, and dh just said he is too tired to eat, so am thinking I will forgo dinner all togethe and just have another glass....ds upstairs crying, says he doesn't know why, I don't know why....and it was such a successful day....

MAS nice bit of property porn...thank you

MAS I do hope things will be ok with your father's friend.

Amber it is frightening that hospitals take so little notice of their own notes.....hope dh is all right.

Sparkles I am very impressed with a whole page of handwritten poetry
MAS that house looks lovely - so well 'done' (probably not a professional property term )
I've got my LAST rads on Monday - yee haa!