**TAMOXIFEN 18**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my,we're starting our 18th !

Congratulations to your DD jane - well done her

Thank you so much everyone. DD2 seems so much brighter today, she says she came in from school and was cold and wet and all she could think about was how her dad used to make her 'choccywoccyhuggymugs', his secret recipe hot chocolate (Cadbury's). I think it is good it has all come out. The night DH died DD2 found him, his heart just stopped but she and I spent the eternity, maybe 15 mins, doing CPR whilst waiting for the ambulance. Worst of all when they put him on the monitor she thought the beeping from the CPR meant he had started to breath. It was a hideous experience let alone for a 15 year old. DD1 is out of hospital and feeling better and DS is working really hard to get the grades, he seems inspired! So I will forgive him for cooking scrambled eggs in the milk pan and burning them. Thinking of you all and I really appreciate the support.

OH gosh ILGC - what a terribly traumatic experience for you all, - no wonder your DD2 is struggling, poor lamb. I'm glad she's feeling a bit brighter today, there must be so much going round in her mind, and I'm sure it will come out piece by piece as time passes, and she can start to heal.

I'm not one for trying to put positive spins on awful events, - because nothing can compensate for what has happened, - but I would say that I believe people who have been through such things develop a deep sense of empathy with others and a wisdom and strength beyond their years.

It is very very early days still for all of you, I wish your family much love, - your support and the strength you give each other shines through in your posts. xx

ILGC - best wishes to you and your family. You've all had a huge shock at the end of a terrible year. Thank goodness dd2 is OK and talking, and will now begin to heal with help. You sound amazing, and a year on from a huge bereavement is no time at all, but a milestone nonetheless. Nothing prepares you for a sudden death, but you will as a re-grouped family come through it.

Sounds like a lot of people are in need of hugs at the moment - especially ILGC - puts BC a bit into perspective. Talking is a good sign though. Smee - have you got a date yet for your fathers operation - my father similar age was very, very tired after an operation last year and took several months to get back to normal so be prepared for this. Jane - great news for your daughter - I hate the expressway too! Ned, the soreness under my arm peaked at around two weeks and then (slowly) eased and have virtually no soreness now about 8 weeks after op. I think. Whispers very quietly (so not bad luck) that my hair is still attached to my head! See consultant today to check I am OK for next dose - as I was sneezing all day Tuesday (weird allergy) I think my immune system has bounced back with a vengeance.

oneineight hooray for hair staying put- hope all goes very well for next dose.
A giant hug for ILGC and her dear family - do agree with kk about the knowledge and empathy thing.
waves to drift and everyone else.

Brief post today .
Got massive headache . Just waiting for DD to leave for school then I am going back to bed .
Hope all are ok .
at Topsy Knitting Hands

Morning Topsy. Hope you feel better soon. I'm back in bed with the cat, tired and emo after yesterday! (me, not the cat, he's curled up with his nose under his tail.)

ILGC, must be hard having three children to keep an eye on emotionally as well as yourself, and that's not mentioning your DD1's treatment. I know she's not a child any longer, but you know what I mean. fwiw, you always sound sane and sensible and hugely lovely to me. I hope you all pull through the next little while and start to see some light. Maybe your son getting his offer is the start of the future.

Jane, that's great about your DD. Is BIAD where she wants to go, I can't remember. Am amazed by both your swimming and running

Topsy, headache sound bad. What's caused it? Are you still sleeping badly or is it too much knitting? Give those claws a rest woman.

Eight, hope your bloods are okay for next one. Amazing to hear you still have hair!! Thanks for remembering about Dad. His op is set for 21st Feb. Am in a bit of a faff about whether to try and talk to his Surgeon or not. Some people have the op under local, but his Surgeon's opting for General. I want to know why, as a GA always takes a while to get over, more so when you're in your 70's. There's a bit of me that wants to whisk him away to another surgeon.

Waving to Drift. How many more now? Surely you finish next week??

Kurri, how are you today? Are you any better? Am hoping so.

Friday today, yeay !! Also good as DH works from home today, so he can pick DS up. Means I should get lots of work done. Coffee on the go here though. So cold. Brrr...

Hope the headache clears soon topsy,

morning all, weetabix with warm milk and banana for anyone? (I expect half of you to say yum and half to say yuk )

Going for my thyroid blood test at lunch time - ready for my endocrinology appointment next week.

Started trying to clean the oven, and have given up, I'm hoping when I next look it will have miraculously cleaned itself

Hello Smee - x-posted, yes I am OK today thanks, - had a nice day with a good friend yesterday, - hadn't seen her for a few months (she was in the States)so lots to catch up on, - she's got a wonderful golden tan and looks great! We go to the same art club and usually have lunch together first - felt more relaxed las night than I have for a while

totally changing the subject, can anyone tell me the best tube station to get off at for the National Gallery - is it Trafalgar square? And is the National Portrait Gallery within the NG, or is it a separate entity? (am asking on behalf of DD)

There is no tube station at Trafalgar Square. Is she coming into Liverpool Street on the train? If so, there's a great bus ride that's quite quick from there that goes past lots of sights. Let me know and I'll do directions for that or the tube. + yes, NPG is separate to NG but literally round the corner.

Charing Cross is closest for Trafalgar Square :-)

Saw my GP yesterday and am not going to have another scan for now. Still have my follow- up appointment with surgeon, but think it's all ok. Thank you to all you lovely ladies for your kindness and welcome x

Oh dear (I must have been thinking of Monopoly ) - yes she's coming into Liverpool Street, - I think she was planning to get her train ticket and tube ticket all in one (is that possible? - she was going on about something like that) Would the bus stop near the NG, and is it expensive?

Sorry to bombard you with question (but if you will live in one of them there big cities ........... )

thanks Camel - I'm glad you've decided which way you are going with the scan - it's always a relief when you've made your decision I find, it sounds as if things are fine, which is great

Camel, that sounds like a very good plan. So brilliant to think you're clear.

Kurri, the bus goes from Liverpool St to Trafalgar Square, so goes through the City, past St Pauls, along Fleet Street, past Royal Courts of Justice, then along The Strand to Trafalgar Square. It's a lovely ride and a cheap way to see a bit more. I think the single bus fare's gone up to £2.30, but if you happen to have an Oyster card it's a lot cheaper. If she wants to do the bus let me know and I'll tell her how to find it. If she takes the tube, camel's right Charing Cross is closest, but that means a change of line, so she could just jump on the circle or district line to Embankment and walk up the hill. Takes 2 minutes.

poor topsy -feel better soon.
Good luck today kk and hooray for camel - sorry to ber brief -must rush out to post office !
smee - sorry- might be an idea to speak to your dad's surgeon,otherwise you will fret. xx

Thanks Smee - that's very useful, I'll let you know if she decides on the bus - it sounds fun.

I also think you should have a word with your Dad's surgeon - what is the procedure he is having - would it be very unpleasant under local? - I'd always avoid a GA if possible.

I doubt it'd be fun under local, but GA (as we all know!) aren't v.pleasant, so surely better than that. He's having the carotid artery cleared as it's 80% blocked. They open his neck with a small incision, clamp the artery, then scrap it as clear as they can and sew him back up. Apart from the hit from a GA, the local makes sense as there's a small risk he'll have a stroke during the op, so obviously if you're awake they'll know straight away. I can't seem to find out why some surgeons do it under local, but others won't..

Seems odd - I always thought they went for local where possible

Thanks Smee - only 2 rads to go, today and Monday! I will not miss the 135 mile round trip through the bloody potholed Devon Lanes What will I do with the extra 5-6 hours of the day? Best wishes everyone.

Hugs to Topsy, ILGC, KK, smee and everyone else with a lot on their plates at the moment. And woohoo!!!! to you, Drift - only 2 left, how fab.

Smee, that does sound so, so weird. In this case, a local sounds so much more sensible: I really do think you should try to speak to them about it - it is so important to get treatment for a stroke (should it happen, which I'm sure it won't, but still) quickly.

Just heard that funding for my back operation has been turned down. Apparently they are going to reapply but it is all on hold for now. Am not too bothered at the moment as the Pilates has really, really helped and I am in far less pain, but i think I will stay on the list as I know it is not going to go away and it would take AGES to get to this point again once you opt to leave the list.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. I am going to be working but I don't mind that, I quite enjoy what i do really. Hope you all have treats planned, though.... x

Hello All

Shortly after my earlier post I started being sick . Was sick 3 times , then went to bed and slept it off for a few hours . Woke up about an hour ago , still have the headache (but think I must have thrown up earlier painkillers) but no more vommittyness .
Think I may be through the worst . Possibly a nasty little bug visited me as I had botty related (tmi !) problems yesterday ! And now DH is texting me from work saying he is starting to feel ill . (will get the iron lung on standby , as his illness is bound to be worse than mine )

Drift can't believe you are almost done with rads . That has gone by so quickly , although not from your point of view I am sure !

Smee I think the GA/local thing very much depends on the surgeon . Some of them just don't like operating on awake patients , so always opt for GA . I think if you get a little pushy they will let your Dad have it done under local . What does Dad think ?

Sorry to hear the funding for your op hasn't been approved Sometimes . I think you are doing the right thing staying on the list to see if an appeal works though .

Camel glad to hear you have made a decision . And so happy that you have had an all clear !

kk I lived in London till I was 18 , and still couldn't tell you what number bus I took to school everyday ! I share your shame

Jane congrats to your DD . Bet she and you are relieved to have a good offer on the table ?

ILGC How are you and the DC feeling today ? It's no wonder DD had her wobble . Sometimes it will take the smallest thing to trigger a flood of memories . Does she talk to anyone about her Dad ? A professional I mean . Cruise and Barnardoes do a great youth counselling service . My friend died a year ago and her children (a few years younger than your DD) have greatly benefited from Barnardoes counsellors .

1in8 how have you managed to keep your hair ? Did you do the cold cap thing ?

I am stopping now as this post is getting stupidly long ! So sorry if I have missed anyone out . You are all very much in my thoughts .
Any weekend plans ?

Topsy That does sound like a nasty little bug thing. Poor you, especially as you are going to have to relive it, but magnified, when DH gets home with it. Your only hope now is that the dcs don't succumb, that'd put the mockers on the weekend, big time!

Have just waved goodbye to the curtain man - he is going to install a nice new bathroom blind to replace the one that has gone all black and mouldy, and two nice new venetian ones in the utility. Stupidly pleased, I love new house stuff

drift hooray for only 2 left !!
smee really hope your dad can get his op under a local - seems much more sensible- am sure they'd sedate him too,so he wouldn't feel so aware.
sometimes and ned - pictures are on their way to you !
Hooray for Barclaycard -they caught someone using dh's credit card number fraudulently and trying to take £800 out.
Have walked to town and back and will be collecting S today to walk her home- that's my exercise !