**TAMOXIFEN 18**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my,we're starting our 18th !

jchocchip I don't need encouragement to have more FBS treats Have had chocolate desert and two cupcakes today. Back on the wagon tomorrow Monday.

KurriKurri Congratulations to you & yours on the arrival of Marcus :)

I have been managing to knit today, which has been nice but I wish I'd been able to be out and about instead as it's been such a gorgeous day. Just went outside now and it looked almost like an early Spring evening - wonderful.

Wow 10lb! congratulations :)
I've overdone the chocolates today, oops. The day was going so well until I opened the bag. May have to do some step on the wii while I watch the telly...

Hello All .

Sorry I'm not speaking much right now , I am reading though .

Am feeling really crappy . My skin is awfull . Bright red and black and blistered . And no matter what I wear , everything rubs against it .
I have been trying the aloe vera gel , but it seems to make me even sorer (sp ?) . Is it possible to be allergic to aloe vera ? For now I am sticking to the diprobase and the blister cream the hospital gave me .

I just feel like a total whinge bag at the moment . I swear I never had nearly as much pain with the mastectomy .
I just feel so damn miserable .

:( Aw Topsy, you really have been nuked.

on the go here then off to quick fit to see if we can get nearly new tyre repaired, it has a nail (actually a screw) in it :(

Hugs to Topsy, sorry you are feeling so awful. When I have had extremely sore skin in the past (totally different cause) I found the creams aggravated it especially those requiring rubbing in - is there anything more fluid you could use?

Sickness, luckily has past - pills lasted out but feeling very lethargic so not doing much and sent d.h. out to do the shop.

Big hug to RightTit if your looking in today and hope your first chemotherapy session goes well this week. It is not nice but doable as the others have said. If you're going for the cold cap wear warm clothes because its not just your head that feels cold!

Waves to everyone else.

poor topsy sorry you're feeling so miserable. I have nothing to suggest except to send

Sorry - just re-read my post, and realised it was maybe a bit trite and unnecessarily jolly when others are feeling lousy.

Will go away and tone myself down a bit. . .

Morning all.

Oh Topsy, sorry to hear you're in so much pain. I was told by the Rads nurse and my village clinic nurse to let the blisters dry and not to put anything on them. In fact, I had a couple of days off work so that I could air them - sat around in a vest top, no bra with my arm propped up on a pile of cushions while I watched telly and got served tea and FBS all day. Maybe you just need to let the armpit air?

KK, great news about baby's arrival but.... what a whopper!!!! I like baby's name, very manly.

Oneineight, thank goodness the sickness has abated. It will leave you feeling knackered for a day or two so just rest and let yourself be spoilt rotten.

Jane, good luck with the tyre, hope they can just repair it. We've been plagued on and off with nails in tyres. We're almost getting a bit paranoid about it as it's costing a small fortune. Very annoying!!

Having another if anyone fancies one and just waiting for DH to come home from walking the dawg before making cheese and Marmite toasties for our breakfast. The sun's out and I've been sitting here for over an hour just watching the birds in our garden - two robins and several blackbirds as well as a group of sparrows. So entertaining watching them splash about in the bird baths. I must get a move on.

Morning Ned, we x-posted.

Love the idea of an electric guitar. It will be great therapy - what a lovely DH you have. Will you have lessons or teach yourself? DS1 has several electric (and a collection of acoustic too) and is self taught. No need to worry about being jolly. We can do both on here - anything's allowed (well, you know what I mean ).

Oh, topsy, you poor, poor thing :( Sounds ghastly and you have every right to feel miserable and complain all you want.

Thanks, ned. I have no intention of waiting 3 weeks and actually, after thinking about it a bit more yesterday, am a bit pissed off with consultant. He never actually gave me the breast FNA biopsy results. Yes, I knew they were almost certainly benign and I read through my notes (I do that a lot , although didn't have my red pen to make my own comments which I have also done before) while I was waiting on Friday and now know that the lump is a cyst, but would've been nice if someone had told me. Anyway, the biopsy was scheduled urgently, the first available slot. He knows that I know that they strongly suspect lymphoma and he didn't come see me after the biopsy, nor did he even send one of his registrars round to see me to tell me what happens next and I don't think that's OK. Then, he's a breast surgeon and we now know that there's no breast involvement. I'm being investigated for generalised lymphadenopathy so really I should probably be referred to a haematologist at some point sooner rather than later. I've sent his secretary a polite email saying that while I realise that full reports for these biopsies take a long time, I will be expecting the preliminary findings this week. So either consultant can arrange for that to happen or I'll go through PCT, PALS, my GP, Chief Exec's office, whatever.

And aww at your DH, that's lovely :) On my Kindle, some things I've got are 'The Help', the Caitlin Moran book, 'Just Kids' (recommended by a friend, but not yet read), 'The Etymologicon', 'How to Teach Quantum Physics to Your Dog', 'Coconut Unlimited', 'Nothing to Envy' (probably a bit heavy for hospital reading), 'Now Then Lad', 'At Home' by Bill Bryson.

to all that need it.

Topsy, I think Figgy's right - I was told similar. Will never forget sitting in the bathroom one morning with nothing on, sobbing because I couldn't work out how to get dressed as everything hurt. Only positive thing I can think to say is that it does go quickly. I couldn't believe how quickly it healed.

Disclaimer for those approaching Rads - poor Topsy's had lots of zaps - I did too (25, whereas 15's more usual I think). Not everyone has skin falling off so don't panic!

Off to SinLaw's for lunch. DS in a right old grump about it. Will post more later - haven't even had time to read, just wanted to send Topsy a hugely delicate hug. xx

Poor you topsy - take things very easy - as figgy says letting the air get to it would be good. I don't know what to suggest - when my armpit skin broke down and went all black and horrible I abandoned the hospital recommendations and just plastered it in savlon cream , and it started to heal. But that's not a medical recommendation and might not be sensible. Come on and moans much as you want if it helps. and for you.

Ned - electric guitar sound great fun, - you will get a lot of pleasure from it. Your DH sounds lovely - and your surgery is definitely in sight now - don't apologise for being jolly - it's really nice to see you feeling better - you've been through the mill

Camel it sounds as if you are being very pro active - and that is excellent - you really have to be, I had to badger lots during my treatment and often things you are told about appointments etc. are a load of nonsense. Good luck for getting your info. next week.

OneinEight - good that the sickness has abated, I found it was a question of pacing yourself, you often feel better if you can potter about a bit and do something, - but don't overdo it and take plenty of rests.

Figgy -bird watching sounds very relaxing - I love looking at the ones in our garden. We have an old blackbirds nest in one of the bushes in our garden - very visible now the leaves have fallen - and loads of bird have come and had a look at it, sat in it, tried it out for size - we even had a wren in there

Marcus is certainly a big chap, - my niece's DH had been coached in delivery at home by the midwife because a fast birth was expected. - Luckily he's a vet so has experience with cows and horses Their DD (aged 3) wanted a little sister, she has announced on hearing the news 'I don't when I will be happy again, I'm feeling very very cross' - oh dear!

Smee - have a nice lunch, I don't know what SinLaw's is (country bumpkin emoticon) - you will have to educate me

I like the sound of SinLaws
Poor,poor topsy - the black and weepingness is horrid =am so sorry you're in such pain- gentle stroking coming your way.
Electric guitar sounds fab ned - what fun !
I love David Sedaris stories- I took one to hospital with me -didn't get much time to read it though,but he really makes me laugh - audio book-wise he reads his stories and essays which is even better.
Am feeling a bit anxious about the funeral- getting there on time/worrying about my dad/hoping I won't look to tatty etc etc..

sorry- camel yes,you are very pro active- and good thing to be - hope you get some responses.

Phew tyre was repairable so that was done for free :) Now for a and then start on lunch.

Electric guitar is a good idea. I play music badly when I am stressed and find it helps.

Oh OK the penny has dropped -sorry having an especially dim moment Smee - I thought it was a well known London Restaurant

Good the tyre was done free jane.

Hello ladies, I haven't written much recently but have just about managed to read through the thread. My sympathy for those having it rough and feeling bue. Hopefully the worst is nearly over for your skin Topsy, it sounds awful, poor you, complain as much as you need here. Thinking about the Aloe Vera, I suggest that unless it's the actual plant,(and then use with caution) I would not use it because it will contain other chemicals to make it stable which could be irritating your skin. I've done 9/20 of rads now, by day 7, I could see a pinkish square and have a slight prickly sensation at times. Using the Aqua and washing with simple soap. The journey is the worse bit, 135 mile round trip each time, but at least I'm not doing the driving!
Ned - You sound lovely and positive, it's all such a rollercoaster at times though. I'm reading Ken Follet, "The Pillars of the Earth" and am really absorbed. I save it for reading on the journey each day and it is really entertaining me. All the best.

I second 'The Pillars of The Earth' Drift - a really good read to get stuck into.
I enjoyed The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters as well, and 'Wolf Hall' - Hilary Mantel, although they both seem to be slightly marmite books from threads in the fiction section.

Drift - that journey must be exhausting for you, - but you are nearly at the half way mark, hope you are not feeling too tired. Take care.

Ned - don't worry - we all like bits of positive news to perk us all up - do please post as much happy stuff as you can.
Topsy - that sounds horrible. I'm feeling sorry for myself this week, but can only claim "angry red" skin - no black and no falling off bits. You have my utmost sympathy (but no hugs as that will probably hurt).
Drift your journey sounds a nightmare. I'm so glad I live in a big City, where everything is 'to hand'
Wow! Goes to lie down at thought of 10lb baby although rather jealous of short labour time.

this is what I'm getting!

hope that link works. . .

Will try it. . .

Excellent - it worked! I am a musician (teacher) by profession, so can read music, and can play about 8 chords on the guitar. . . badly. Thought I would have an experiment myself first, and maybe try and find a sympathetic teacher who could come and give me a few pointers.

Hope all have had a nice Sunday. We went out to lunch, then I sat in a very freezing village hall, trying to discuss/ work out why no families - except mine - ever come to our family services in church. . .somewhat soul destroying, as we couldn't think of any answers!

Can anyone tell me how long I might be in hospital? The breast nurse said I might be able to go home on Wednesday evening, but that if I had a drain in, I would have to stay in overnight. How likely is that? Will I have a drain if they dont have to take out the lymph nodes? What should I expect?

I don't really mind, its just to know what to prepare DS for.

anyone? Its bloody freezing in Dorset!

guitar kit looks fab - how exciting !! What other instruments do you play ned ? I learned classical guitar for a few years and have treble recorder grade 2 !!!
Are they taking a sample of nodes ? or more ? I was in for a day-they said I could stay overnight but I wanted to go home.
Waves to drift !

freezing in Yorkshire too! Just made ds a daft fleecy hat to take back to uni. I used to make the dcs hats when they were little and it took me back!

Waves to drift. Good to hear you are nearly half way. That journey must take up most of your day.

My new neice is in Dorset - I don't know when I will be able to travel though, it is a long way to drive and the train fare is exhorbitant...

We have a very select bunch of children at church, I haven't been able to persuade mine to go regularly since they hit 12 though.

Ned I think you will most likely have a drain - they generally remove a couple of lymph nodes to test even if they don't have to take out any more.
I stayed in overnight for my mastectomy - I could have stayed longer, but I had a particular reason for wanting to get home. I came home with my drain in, and the district nurse came out each day to check and finally remove it.

Guitar looks great my DD has oe and loves playing - she's also a musician (piano) - what is your main instrument? - I think learning something new, and being a musician anyway will be a brilliant way to help keep you calm and relaxed though all this .

Topsy it really helps if you blow a ccold hairdryer or fan over the sore breast. It is also good if you keep whatever stuff you use in the fridge. If you wear a bra put a panty pad (the ones with silk are good) between the bra band and yo,ur skin-soft side next to your skin of course. Good Luck it will get better soon :-)