**TAMOXIFEN 18**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my,we're starting our 18th !

stitches out no problem ! Will go and book next one next week -not sure when he'll do it,but will keep up the momentum.
ned will be interested in how your class react,and how you tell them (book research -sometimes and I are collaborating on a book,very much in the early stages) This might be another thing we can include.
Have been fretting about lavatories but dad says there is one at the crem-so that's ok-we will have to leave very early to get there.

If the clinic is anything like my hospital I bet poor dig is still waiting to be seen !
Am home now and have lit my candle for her anyway .

Got ointment and dressings from the nurse this morning . And instructions to see her after tomorrow and Thursdays sessions too .

Having a bacon and egg sandwich now (its on brown bread so that's almost healthy) , then for my fbs today I have a creme egg .
I bloody love creme eggs !

ned height,weight,bp and heart monitoring thingy,measured fore surgical stocking (oh yes,it's all glamour) and general health questions -ie. have you had any previous operations,medication,allergies,ok with anaesthetics etc - not scary I promise.

hooray for ointment & dressings topsy (and creme egg)

Ned my pre op was bloods , weight , height , and an ecg . All very quick and easy . Just a pain in the butt going from department to department to get it all done .

Ned, pre-op's okay and not traumatic from memory. They do weight/ height/ BP and bloods and I had to have a chat to a nurse who took history of operations/ allergies/ reactions to drugs, etc, but that was about it.

Topsy, glad to hear they're looking after you. Nearly, nearly done. Are you celebrating on Thursday, or collapsing in a heap? Either totally valid. Not with you on the Creme Eggs, but I like those little ones with crisp shells and pure choc inside. Think they're just called 'Mini Eggs'. mmm...

MAS, that's good you're through. Crem will definitely have toilets. Have never been to one that didn't. Are you shopping for trousers? At least it's sale time, so that's something.

Thanks MAS - that's great to know. was just having a little irrational wobble, as lovely DH has been to every other appointment with me so far, and the thought of doing one on my own was freaking me out a bit. . .

Not feeling very strong today, not sure why. Weepy when I talked to the childminder this morning about taking DS to school tomorrow, and being scared about which door to go through to get to his classroom, as I have never done a drop off before, as always working. All a bit daft really.

Glad to hear your stitches came out OK - that's good to hear. What is the next op lined up for you?

Enjoy creme egg topsy - you bloody deserve it! (Ned secretly wishes she had a creme egg too. . . finds M&Ms but they're not the same)

yes,trousers today I think.
I like those mini eggs very much..I try not to have any before Easter (on principal-ditto hot cross buns out of season)

I guess next bump removed whenever GP has a slot - then one more and I shall be bump free -yay. Sounds very trivial of course compared with proper surgeries - I am prone to these,apparently it's genetic - grrr.

Hi Ned, my pre-op was done over the phone! A nurse rang me at home and asked me all the questions about weight height BP and allergies!

For FB today, I have mini packets of chocolate buttons, please not the plural

ned try not to fret-we'll be with you in spirit and it'll be fine. I hate doing new things I';m not sure about -I guess I can't bear not being in control and I panic about being late, not finding the right place ewtc (uh that sounds like my anxiety dreams !)

xpost Ned sorry you are feeling weepy today, it is just so much to deal with even the smallest thing can catch you out.

Hi all that is me just out, I cannot say they weren't thorough.

Turns our I had four benign cysts and numerous wee ones too small to asperTe. I have been mammogrammed several times, ultrasoundes and finally poked a LOT with a fine needle to burst those bubbles, but well worth it to hear the word benign . Thank you all for your support, I will pop on later tonight when not just on the phone with a mountain of work to catch up on.

Hello everyone, - have had my little break and am feeling a bit more together - I think I just have to accept that its going to be a struggle for a while. I keep getting memories of Dad - like how it felt to hug him, the smell of his soap etc.- and it makes a big knot in my stomach. But I just have to get through it somehow.

Ned - a massive hug for you. So sorry you have had your DX confirmed, its a huge shock so don't feel you have to 'cope', feeling weepy is totally normal, no one takes this in their stride - it's not possible, and you will find your emotions all over the place - I think just going with them is the answer, if you need a cry, - have one.

I'm glad your work has been helpful - that saves a bit of worry
The pre-op is not something to worry about mainly filling in forms with the nurse, they'll want to know any tablets you are on, will weigh and measure, listen to your heart etc. and explain things to you. Everyone is very kind, and afterwards you need to treat yourself to a nice coffee and cake in the hospital cafe.

Oneineight - well done on first chemo under your belt, first one is always a bit nerve racking because you don't know what to expect. Take it gently and fingers crossed you won't have too many SE's

Camel -sorry you are still waiting for your DX, that is hard for you - I'm glad you've got your move out of the way - it's a major stress IME!

topsy hugs over burnt skin - its horrible I know. Hope the gel pads are helping, and the ointment, - you're nearly there now

Marmite hope you are home and not feeling too sore, take things easy

Dig - candle lit here for you, and fingers crossed.

MAS - good that the stitches came out OK, good luck for the other ops.

Love to everyone - I've been reading and hope I'm roughly up to date.

I went to the dentist this morning for a check up. He wants to do an implant in a gap where I had a tooth out years ago. It would cost £3000 - I told him he can do it if I win the lottery.

I also spent my birthday money from my mum in the sales. I got some watercolour pencils, acrylic paints, trousers, t-shirt and cosy pyjamas, so feeling very spoilt

x-posted - great news Dig, what a relief

Yay for Dig!

And welcome back to KK! The feelings you mention bring back memories of when my own Dad died. he too used the same soap always and the smell of it can take me right back there. No quick way through it Be good to yourself, I missed you.

Love to everyone. Sorry to post and run - school run time. x

Great news Dig. Benign is a lovely word.

Glad you are back kk :)

Been shopping and for a swim. Now to make tea. Stew tonight.

Is there anything I should ask the oncologist tomorrow? Last appointment I thought of the questions afterwards...

Glad to see you back KK. You know those little things that remind you of your Dad, and are difficult to face right now, are the things that become lovely memories, and even family 'traditions'. It's hard to deal with when you are fully 100% yourself, so go easy on yourself and allow yourself to grieve. It does get easier over time, just sneaks up and catches you out every now and then, when you are off guard.
Waves to everyone else - can't stop, I've promised myself I will finish a giant clear out of all unnecessary e-mails today (unfortunately means I am online, so keep peeping at other threads ).

Dig - brilliant news you must be so relieved.

Welcome back Kurri, keep going easy on yourself and enjoy your shopping trip goodies.

Ned - I would get someone else to do the telling to your class but then I am a coward. My two year 4 boys think anything to do with boobs is hilarious so you may get some unexpected reactions - maybe they are more mature in Year 6?

Jane - the thing I always forget to ask my oncologist is what monitoring will be done to check that it hasn't come back.

Last night was not good but the pills seem to be working much better today - at least I not throwing up as soon as I take them (sorry tmi) so they have time to work.

fabulously fab news dig -treat time for you
kk so lovely to have you back -you were missed massively Must be really hard to be reminded of your dad so much-but I guess that's part of the long and painful process-am sorry it hurts so much.
jane um,can't think of what you might ask onc..but you would be able to contact them with any concerns when/if they arise. They probably want to check your breast after rads and ask how the tamoxifen is going and tell you about follow-ups,which seem to vary hugely around the country.

Fantastic news dig, I am thrilled for you.

Kurri - lovely to have you back, big hugs and small steps I think.

I hve funeral trousers- a pair of 'modern bootleg' smart black trousers from the Gap. Dad says we're going to a v nice restaurant in Chiswick afterwards.He is definitely speaking,along with P's son and business partner.

Trousers sound nice and also suitable, MAS.

What a sad thing. Will be thinking of you all. x

Thank you all for kind and encouraging words

MAS - I'm glad your Dad is speaking at P's funeral it will be hard, but also a comfort for him I think, - something he can do for his friend.

jane - it's hard to know what to ask, - do you have any particular concerns or worries?

My new trousers are purple, I also have deep pink yoga pants, and tartan PJ's - my NY resolution is to wear loud clothing