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Original poster

A healthy pooh needs only 3 wipes according to

247 replies

sandyballs · 12/01/2006 12:44

Discuss please

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 21:07

ebola?\ is that another wholesome and inedible grain recommended by Gillian McBarking?
with a viscous coating requiring four hours of boiling in white spirit to remove it?

marthamoo · 13/01/2006 21:07

Gillian McPoo now has a range of food - I saw some in Sainsbury's. The woman is a raving lunatic.

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 21:07

I have carpet in my loo too.... but I don't drip dry, I don't stand up and leap around the bathroom wafting crap and piss everywhere, and there are NO BITS!!!

Turquoise · 13/01/2006 21:07

This thread is the class thread of the week, psml.
Do you really only use one sheeet at a time? Not a nice little wodge?

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 21:08

so you SAY MrsSpoon
but the drip onto the carpet is SILENT

MrsSpoon · 13/01/2006 21:08

IMO a big wodge, you don't want to get any on your fingers, bleurgh!

MrsSpoon · 13/01/2006 21:09

HC, I've not got a carpet, I have tiles and would see it (as a mother boys I am always on the lookout for wee on the floor), no pee mat either, they are gross, just wipeable tiles.

Turquoise · 13/01/2006 21:09

I had an ex who used to make himself a veritable cushion for each wipe, caused many a blockage.

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 21:10

When I say bits I mean bits. You all know what I'm talking about.

In one country they use pebbles instead of toilet paper. A friend of mine was at Uni with someone who kept a jar of pebbles in their room and my friend took some out and was absent mindedly rolling them around in his hand. The pebbles' owner came back in and visibly cringed then explained they were his special toilet wiping stones and please to put them back.

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 21:10

I don't drip at all, I wait until I have finished weeing. I don't sweep bits of poo around either. I have to say nine times out of ten when I wipe my backside, there is nothing VISIBLE on the paper at all. I do have carpet in my loo but that is because we haven't got round to taking it out yet (shag pile in the downstairs bathroom - can you think of anything less appropriate? If the kids throw up on it, it is being ripped out immediately, I am not cleaning puke off shag pile.)

Blandmum · 13/01/2006 21:10

Moomdog, I suppose that the sife benefit of the 'wood on the wall' technique is that it would pop your piles back in as you wiped

Take care when you go back , cariad.

nooka · 13/01/2006 21:11

rotfl - I think I'm going to need the bathroom fast I'm laughing so much - and then I just might have to leap around the bathroom wafting crap and piss everywhere!!!

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 21:11

So you DO look at the paper!!!

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 21:11

sorry Mrs spoon I didn't mean to imply... oh yes
i did didn't I?
would love to pull the carpet up tbh
in fact I think I might just go and do that....

4blue1pink · 13/01/2006 21:11

Wee-Bum (QE2)

MrsSpoon · 13/01/2006 21:12

I remember going on holiday in Rhodes to be asked by a creepy Greek man on toilet attendant duty at the beach if I wanted one sheet of kitchen towel or two, shudder. What if one isn't enough but then it's a bit embarrasing to ask for two?

moondog · 13/01/2006 21:12

I think we have an unhealthy obsession with paper.
The worst thing of all is having to get someone (actually my ex neighbour) out regularly to remove all the paper that dd wedges down the loo.

What makes me cringe is that aforementioned neighbour (chap in 60's,very old school) always smirks and says
'Had any lady guests recently then?'

Aaaargghhhh!!!

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 21:12

You have to look at the paper to know if your bottom is still dirty or not. Personally, on a sloppy day, I keep wiping until the last wipe shows the paper is clean (or the loo roll runs out, whichever is sooner )

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 21:13

Nothing visible on the paper? Why the dickens are you wiping it then? And what on god's earth are you eating woman to excrete dry colourless poos?

does not begin to express my feelings at the revelations on the thread.

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 21:13

Should have said "Better give me three, it's a real ringbuster this time...knew I shouldn't have had that last kebab"

MrsSpoon · 13/01/2006 21:14

It's OK HC, toilet habits are one of my favourite subjects, much to DH's disgust. Honest if I used your loo I wouldn't drip on the carpet.

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 21:14

Yes agree one must look or else one cannot possibly know if one has finished the job. Bet you non-lookers all have skiddy pants.

nooka · 13/01/2006 21:14

Sorry Lonely Mum, I just don't believe that you never drip at all without any wiping - surely that's not possible? Of course different people poo differently and I think it is both diet and gentetically related. dh poos all the time, and so does dd; ds and me are usually one a dayer's - but I certainly notice the difference between poos after porrige and poos after curry.

moondog · 13/01/2006 21:14

When we lived in Russia,the loos couldn't cope with turds and paper.
Latter was put into a bin.
Very unsettling to go to some extremely cultured person's house for dinner then nip to the loo and realise you were looking at a binfull of their multi hued shit.

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 21:15

Words fail me.