A healthy pooh needs only 3 wipes according to

[sandyballs]

Discuss please

Nope definately right hand and I am right handed. Also paid attention to my technique. Although standing bottom is still over the bowl. Hands thoroughly washed as I am a bit obsessive compulsive about the hands.

No dreams of flying or fear of the colour yellow.

DH has just picked up on this convo and thinks it's absolutely awful to be discussing such a thing.

He's just jealous cos men are too "retentive" to discuss such things!!!

That's right Meanoldmummy, I'll tell that him when he comes back.

Tell him we're all clamouring to know what colour his last BM was..... come on Mr Spoon, we're on the edges of our seats here (so to speak)!!!!

Oooh, he doesn't like talking about his poos.

a man who doesn't like talking about his poos - now THERE'S a novelty

MrsSpoon, are you sure he is a man? My dh and pals discuss this sort of thing regularly (and I really don't - honest, despite my faux pax on the other poo thread... )

Oh literally wiping tears from my eyes as I read this thread.
Luckily tho at work (!) I am sitting nowhere near anyone else.
I think was mad madwoman GMcK meant was that you only need 3 wipes, not 3 sheets of paper fgs!

He's very private about his toilet business, even locks the bathroom door!

jesus surely no-one wipes more than three times??

my dh is the same MrsSpoon
he even blushes when he farts

That's very odd for a man. Hmmmmm. Are you sure he's not snorting cocaine or trying on your undies in there?

LOL! He's always been like this. I think it very bizarre myself.

Can I swop marpsichordcarrier? My dh could fart for Britain (and would enjoy doing so)

Oh my god, I've laughed so much at this thread I've given myself a stitch.
Expect to see it on 'top discussions' on home page tomorrow .
And/or it should be compulsory reading for newbies who need to get a flavour (?) of what MN is all about.

Ohgawd-ohgawd-ohgawd...I'm going to be using African loos from next week. The loos in Indonesia seldom had any paper but if they did, it was clasped in the sweaty hand of some girl, to whom you had to pay a sum of money in exchange for which she's give you two, maybe three sheets, if you were lucky, which was pretty useless for the state of my innards out there! I took to keeping a loo roll in my bag then when I got back to the UK had much pleasure from using as much loo paper as I liked - oh, the luxury!

You're going next week, suedonim? Wow. Are you still going to have access to MN? Are you scared to death?

oh go away UCM, you have made your point, now you are just being a pain.

Yes, I agree. Enough.

Yes, we're off next week, MM. It was supposed to be the 18th but visas won't be ready so it will be the 21st, assuming the visas turn up. I'm sincerely hoping we'll have internet access, though provision can patchy and unreliable.

I am a bit nervous about it all but tbh haven't given it too much thought as I've been so busy with Xmas etc. And now dd2's been pretty ill with a nasty throat/chest infection, which seemed to involve her being sick over me on an hourly basis! My biggest headache is fostering our pets. My plans fell through and I've been searching around madly. Someone is coming to see the dog this w/end with a view to taking her on so fingers crossed they like her! I've been madly tidying the house because I don't want them to think she comes from a bad home!