Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

A healthy pooh needs only 3 wipes according to

247 replies

sandyballs · 12/01/2006 12:44

Discuss please

OP posts:
meggpoothatonlyneedsthreewipes · 13/01/2006 19:08

Franny, you are stalking me!

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 19:10

I am only posting on fluffy threads Meggy. I can't help it if you seem to be the last poster on ALL of them.

lapsedrunner · 13/01/2006 19:13

I can't even imagine how you wipe whilst still sitting down.....

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 19:13

be afraid meggymoo!
btw bird poo is as close to food as millet imho
i once had some blue corn`chips in Mexico
they were boke

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 19:19

It's quite funny when you see this thread on the active convos list because your eye sort of skips the "76 posts Last from" bit and it looks as if it says

"A healthy pooh needs only 3 wipes according to.......harpsichordcarrier"

or whoever the last poster was.

Oh bugger it'll look like I said it now...

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 20:41

"boke"?!?!??

I've just been for a dump and tried the stnding up to wipe thing. I won't be doing it again.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 20:44

well I have resisted the temptation to be scatological so far but...
three times a day is a JOKE
it's all about your constitution
I am [ahem] a VERY regular poo-er indeed and my diet is SHOCKING really shocking.
i eat literally NO fruit and really v little in the way of veg.
I was just made that way.
Am also robustly healthy in manner of a sturdy ox.

Blandmum · 13/01/2006 20:45

Re the three wipes thing, I was told that in Junior School at the age of 7 and took it as absolute gospel, only ever using 3....but being quite clean IYSWIM. I was horrified to find that dh uses at least 4 times that much!

I have now relented, and luxuriate in as many wipes as possible

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:46

Three times a day? that is practically diarrhoea in my book!

QE2 · 13/01/2006 20:46

My dh stands up to wipe and I still can't get how he does it. I mean, surely you need to be seated so things are open and accessible? dh doesn't even bend at the knees, so how the hell can he get to clean the crack properly?

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:47

Look, once and for all, it is simple. You stand up and bend over and that opens the buttocks and allows perfect access. What sort of access do you have if you are sitting down?

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 20:47

yes! yes QE2 that is the question
couldn't bring myself to ask it
standy up wipers - answer QE2's question pls!

Blandmum · 13/01/2006 20:48

I'm a three times a day girl!

My aunt was once asked if her bowels were 'regular'
She answered, 'As clockwork , once every two weeks'. And she wasn't kidding! I bet she needed more than three sheets!

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:48

Done so already HC.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 20:49

TWO WEEKS!
eek
once went on holiday with my sister, notorious millet muncher and she didn't go for two weeks either
we had a running bloody commentary

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 20:49

LM that really is a delightful image....

Blandmum · 13/01/2006 20:50

She has been like this for all her life!

MrsSpoon · 13/01/2006 20:50

She did have some good advice once about putting your feet on something (pack of loo rolls or my personal fav DS2's step stool thing) to aid evacuation.

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:50

I grew up with the old fashioned belief that once a day was right and hey guess hwta, I am a once a day girl - usually at the same time every day too!

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 20:50

I was staying with my mum's friend once when I was about 7...mum was ill I think...the friend was one of these punitive beaky-nosed old witches with a mouth like a dog's anus who followed you around criticising and telling you you shouldn't be doing things. Every time I went to the loo she asked me what I was going to do.... and said "two sheets is plenty for a little girl, don't you take any more!" Well unfortunately I had one of those experiences where your finger goes through the paper and ended up sitting on the bathroom floor crying until her daughter came in and sorted me out. It was all a big kerfuffle and a special dispensation had to be obtained for more paper to be used just this once. So embarrassing. Gillian McCrapp looks a bit like the friend, actually.

QE2 · 13/01/2006 20:51

If you are standing, your arse cheeks close, right? No way can you get a wodge of loo roll in there - and anyway surely it would be the equivalent of one of those paintings where it makes a butterfly when you open it out again, no?

It just doesn't work for me. I asked dh and he def doesn't bend over.

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:51

Thanks HC I think I explained it adequately. Now please reciprocate and let me know how you wipe your bottom when you are sitting on it.

moondog · 13/01/2006 20:52

There was an intriguing interview with 'Doctor' McKeith in The Observer a few months ago.
I am all for eating healthily but she is weird isn't she? Face like a cat's arse is not a glowing endorsement for aduki beans and sweet potato pie 'crusts'.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 20:52

oh QE2 how I agree with you...
yes Mrs spoon squatting is the way forward
btw Freud would have a field day with this thread

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 20:53

Helloooooo Moondog long time no see.

Where are you?

I keep thinking of you every time they mention bird flu on the radio.