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A healthy pooh needs only 3 wipes according to

247 replies

sandyballs · 12/01/2006 12:44

Discuss please

OP posts:
joash · 12/01/2006 23:12

nooka - are we married to the same bloke?

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:12

She probably feeds her dd junk food so she can pick over her shit and take notes....what a woman

hunkermunker · 12/01/2006 23:13

Have you moved now then Joash? I'm guessing yes! Glad you're well - had wondered about you! I'm OK - due on Saturday and no sign of baby yet!

nooka · 12/01/2006 23:17

Lol joash (hope not!) and rotfl meanoldmummy what a lovely picture you draw there!

stinkweasel · 12/01/2006 23:19

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starlover · 12/01/2006 23:23

what if your arse is quite flabby and the poo gets spread a bit when you do a poo? how can you only use 3 bits?

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:24

YES stink...I can actually see that!! Same cadaverous rat-like leer. How chilling.

joash · 12/01/2006 23:27

starlover - my arse is extremely flabby and I can easily do it in three - but then again - i sit and wipe

stinkweasel · 12/01/2006 23:28

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starlover · 12/01/2006 23:31

lol joash...

i once saw an invention which was a toilet seat which was shaped so that it parted your bum cheeks when you sat down.. thus ensuring easy passage for your poo

dp thought it was a fantastic idea

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:32

OMG - have you ever seen Yvette Fielding on LivingTV's Most Haunted? (DH is the saddo, not moi!) She looks like both of them squished together!

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:33

starlover - ugh. I would not want to explain that one to guests!

starlover · 12/01/2006 23:33

yvette fielding... wasn't she a blue peter presenter?

joash · 12/01/2006 23:34

starlover - PMSL.

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:35

might have been on blue peter... she's got the same mad staring eyes and ill-fitting skin

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 08:59

Stand up to wipe? Of course you stand up to wipe! What is the alternative? Stick your hand down the loo to get to your arse? Some people are wierd! You don't stand up with your buttocks clenched though: you have to perfect standing with your legs apart and your buttocks open otherwise there is indeed a danger ofspreading the poo.

You girls will enjoy the discussion I once heard about how the way you wipe your bottom defines your character. I don't recall the issue of whether you stand or not being discussed, but it certainly went into how many peices of paper you use at a time, and whether you fold it or scrunch it before use. I am a copious user of paper and like to scrunch it, in a half orderly/folded way. It still riles me to see my children take a strip of paper and then not fold it but dab one small part of the strip to their arses. That isn't wiping! Who taught them to do that?

tracyk · 13/01/2006 09:04

Any comments then on her 'perfect' poo. Sausage shaped and walnut brown and no smell???

MeerkatsUnite · 13/01/2006 09:08

Gillian McKeith is yet another quack who spouts pseudo science rubbish.

She says she's 43 - does she have a time machine?!

WigWamBam · 13/01/2006 09:27

I think it was Dara Briain who said that if you are what you eat, then Gillian McKeith must have eaten a shrew.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 09:28

lol!

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 12:51

Yes I reach round!! Standing up with your legs apart (gorilla-style?!?) is bizarre... I would probably overbalance and smatter poo all over the bathroom!

harpsichordcarrier · 13/01/2006 12:55

I reckon all your arms are too short or something

Lonelymum · 13/01/2006 18:57

True, I don't have monkey length arms! And I know the state of my loos only too well!

meggmoo · 13/01/2006 19:04

She also says that you should poo 3 times a day FGS!

And all blue foods are good for you. Blueberry slush puppy anyone? Hehe.

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 13/01/2006 19:07

What food is blue? The only blue food I have seen is bird poo when the bird has been eating elderberries.

(ok I know bird poo is not food but YKWIM)